


Healing the Broken

by KizuKatana



Series: HTB universe [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, M/M, SPOILERS MANGA CHAPTER 693, Slash, canon!naruto, canon!sasuke, my version of how it should have ended, narusasunaru, sex during drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-20 09:33:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 132,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2423822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KizuKatana/pseuds/KizuKatana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (slash - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.</p><p>Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) language, angst, mental illness, substance abuse, masturbation, eventual sex. Not appropriate for young readers. 18+</p><p>Disclaimer - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is in reviews.</p><p>Spanish Translation by Linme (thank you!)  http://archiveofourown.org/works/2906273</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Help

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [痊愈](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736550) by [chikaraaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikaraaa/pseuds/chikaraaa)



> Author's note - I started this fic as a VISCERAL REACTION TO CHAPTERS 692 and 693. . Then 698-700 happened, and the story continues to be my way of working through the ending of the manga and writing something that makes sense to me. This is Canon!Sasuke. Which means he is mentally unstable, and not warm and fuzzy. Not sexually experienced. Totally emotionally jacked up. So. That is what we have here. If substance abuse is a trigger for you, or if you have issues with people having sex while under the influence and view it as dubcon/noncon, DON'T READ THIS FIC.

-xXx-

Naruto sat in the Hokage's office, looking blankly between the large-breasted blond and his former sensei.

He had just returned from a six week mission, and he was exhausted. So he told himself that he must be hearing this wrong. Surely his Kakashi and the Old Hag weren't actually asking him to...

"But why not just send one of the nurses, or one of the physical therapists to help him? Why not Sakura?" Hell, Sakura would _kill_ to be asked to... do whatever it was the Tsunade was asking Naruto to do.

Tsunade cleared her through and glanced down slightly. "Sakura immediately volunteered, naturally. But even when he's... not fully in control of his faculties, Sasuke is quite skilled. Not to mention the sharingan. He is simply too dangerous for anyone else to handle."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. He could tell when the Old Hag was trying to gloss over something. Especially when it came to Sakura. "What did he do to Sakura?"

Kakashi shrugged. "He threw her against the wall. Broke her arm. Then put her into a genjutsu that she was being buried alive in a pit of snakes for three days."

Naruto blinked. That sounded thorough, though he supposed it could have been much worse. Given that it was Sasuke they were talking about. "What did Sakura do to trigger that?"

Tsunade's lips tightened. Kakashi glanced at her, then rolled his eyes. "Sakura might have been a bit... _overenthusiastic_ to help test this approach on Sasuke."

"Did she... she didn't... she wouldn't..." Naruto stammered, hoping Sakura didn't try to do what he thought she might have.

Tsunade poured herself a glass of sake, and downed it quickly. "We learned not to have any of the women of the village involved in this. The Uchiha tends to bring out the worst in their behavior. Regardless of how they feel about him as a ninja, as a man he... remains desirable."

"What about _you_?" Naruto persisted. "You aren't going to try to rape him. _And_ you have extensive medical knowledge. _And_ you are experienced enough that you could avoid his genjutsu or block his attacks, especially if he's as wasted as you say he is most of the time."

Tsunade sighed. "This type of therapy works best when administered by someone who actually cares for the patient. Or at least someone who can fake it. There is no love lost between me and the Uchiha brat. He knows it, and I know it. It has to be someone he trusts. Or at least someone he will tolerate."

Naruto wasn't sure there was anyone left alive who fit that description, now that Itachi was dead.

"Kakash' Sensei could -" Naruto began half-heartedly, only to be cut off abruptly.

"NO!" Tsunade said, bringing the flat of her hand down hard enough to leave a long crack down the center of her desk. "We are not sending the most perverted ninja in the village try therapeutic touch techniques on arguably the most intimacy averse person in the Fire country."

Naruto almost laughed at the thought of Sasuke blearily waking up to find Kakashi massaging his naked back, or whatever it was that Tsunade was about to suggest he do.

But then he realized that if it wasn't going to be Kakashi, it was going to be him. And all thoughts of laughter stopped.

This was retarded. A backrub wasn't going to make Sasuke 'all better'. And everyone knew it. Sasuke was broken beyond repair.

Naruto paled, feeling his hands prickle with sweat. He had gone to great pains to avoid Sasuke after the war. The bitter taste of betrayal was still too fresh. Yes, he had defeated Sasuke. Finally, he had done what he had not been able to at the Valley of the End. But it should never have had to come to that. After all they had been through together in the final battle against Obito, Madara and Kaguya, Sasuke should have _trusted_ Naruto. He should have _talked_ to him about what he wanted to accomplish instead of... Naruto clenched his fists and forced the bubbling anger and hurt back down. He was tired of both feelings. Tired of everything

"Old Hag. I haven't even been back to my apartment since my last mission. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I need a bath. Since you've already made up your mind that I am going to be the one to do this, and you're still the Hokage, you can make it an order. Just tell me what it is that I need to do. Let's get this over with."

Sympathy flashed across the Hokage's beautiful brown eyes, but it was brief. Then she was all business. The Uchiha was simply too dangerous to leave in his current, unstable state. It was this or prison. The psychiatric ward in the hospital would not be able to hold him.

"As you know, Sasuke never received any sort of treatment for the mental trauma he suffered as a child following the Uchiha massacre," Tsunade began, a feeling of anger spiking through her as she thought of how callous the Third had been at the treatment of both Naruto and Sasuke. Had _no one_ thought to look after the children of the village at all? For a Hokage who had been known for his kindness, the Third had been a true bastard in how he ignored the children of his fallen comrades in the end. But there was nothing she could do to fix the mistakes of the past. Her job was to focus on the present. "The long term effects of the mangekyo sharingan that Itachi used on Sasuke twice are unknown, but most ninja who were exposed to that technique even once suffer complete mental breaks and never recover. Kakashi was only exposed once, and had months of therapy following it. His exposure was less severe than Sasuke's, and even he has had lingering effects. With the first exposure, the boy received no treatment at all, and with the second he left the village with only the most minimal treatment. In addition, he lived in complete isolation during his time with Orochimaru, the curse seal further influencing his thought processes, and witnessed god only knows what kind of depravities in his adolescent years when we know the mind is quite fragile," Tsunade paused, letting her words settle.

Naruto realized in that moment that Tsunade had thought more about Sasuke and the reasons for his actions than he had given her credit for. She might claim to not like Sasuke. But she understood why he was the way he was. She didn't blame him for it.

"Then there was... the battle with you during the war," she said, her voice hardening with remembered anger when she found out what Sasuke had tried to pull while she and the other kage were bound by the infinite tsukuyomi. Ok, so maybe there were a few things she did still blame Sasuke for.

Naruto shuffled his feet slightly. It was not one of his fondest memories, either.

"Sasuke has returned as a fallen hero. He no longer holds the respect that he had as a child, and his defeat by you has taken away the mystique that he is the strongest in the village. With all his enemies either dead or in prison, he no longer has vengeance to support him as a goal to give purpose to his existence. His help during the war and your decision to not seek retribution for his final act of betrayal has kept him out of prison, but we cannot allow him to resume missions at this point. None of the other kage trust him, and no one in our own ranks is willing to work with him until he has managed to prove himself loyal in some way. Giving him only low level, solo missions would only insult his pride and further anger him. So we are left... where we are."

When word had spread that Sasuke had turned on Naruto in the final battle, the people of Konoha and the surrounding lands had not been as ready to forgive that transgression as they had his crimes against Danzo or even the attack on the Kage summit. Naruto had earned not only the trust and respect of the kages, but he was viewed as a friend. He was a hero across all five nations.

Naruto had been the first to reach out to Sasuke and trust him when he had joined in the battle against Madara and Obito. The emotions that had flowed through the chakra link when Naruto had shared his chakra with the allied shinobi forces had carried Naruto's memories of grief and loss and friendship of Sasuke. But it had been rejected by the missing nin in place of a chance to rule with absolute authority. And Sasuke had turned on him.

Naruto had stopped him, but they had both almost died in the fight.

And now they were both 'home'. Naruto's victory felt hollow.

Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had stayed in Konoha, truth be told. But he supposed there really wasn't anyplace left for him to go, with the Akatsuki gone and the rest of the ninja world firmly allied with Naruto and Konoha.

There was always Orochimaru, but even Sasuke must have realized that was a bad idea. And Orochimaru had taken up residence not far from Konoha, trying to legitimize himself and stay out of trouble. For now. But there was no hiding the way the man's snakelike eyes had followed Sasuke's body throughout the battle. Sasuke may be many things, but oblivious was not one of them.

So Sasuke had stayed. He currently lived in complete isolation in the ruins of what had once been the Uchiha clan grounds. That part of the village had never been rebuilt after Pain's destruction of Konoha. Sasuke had paid to have his home reconstructed from the rubble, but left the remaining buildings as they had fallen. As the land belonged to the Uchiha clan, and Sasuke was now the sole survivor of that clan, it was his prerogative as to what to do with it. Or not.

Naruto snapped his attention back to Kakashi and the Hokage. "I get all this. But why are you saying that it needs to be this... therapeutic touch thing? Aren't there medicines or counseling or other shit that doesn't involve trying to get close to a bastard who has literally made a trademark out of his 'back-the-fuck-off' look?"

"We've tried that, Naruto. Don't you think we would have thought of that first? Counseling was a complete failure. Sasuke is too intelligent to be manipulated that way, and years of living with Orochimaru has made him able to see through most of their approaches. He was quite clear that he didn't want to 'share his feelings' or memories or anything with anyone. Both doctors who tried this approach ended up running out of their offices, terrified when Sasuke had offered to share his memories the old-fashioned Uchiha way - through his mangekyo sharingan. We considered trying anti-depressants and anti-psychotic medicines, but the sharingan makes his brain chemistry different from other people's and the risk of it having a dangerous adverse effect was too high."

"And there is nothing else?"

"No. The further he is declining mentally, the more at risk we are of him completely losing control and potentially harming others. There is significant medical research that shows that physical contact is a key factor in improving mental health of patients who have traumatic stress disorders. Even with infants, they have found that babies grow faster and get sick less with more direct contact. That's why they recommend skin on skin contact while nursing."

A rather awkward image of some random woman trying to nurse and oddly psychotic looking Uchiha infant flashed through Naruto's mind before being repressed.

"It has also been shown in post traumatic stress disorders that physical contact can help reduce stress and increase the overall mental stability of the patient. Naruto... we have spent the last three months trying everything else. It's this or incarceration. The hospital would not be able to hold him."

Naruto looked at Kakashi, who had pulled out his little orange book of porn and appeared to be ignoring their conversation while he flipped through the pages.

"So what do you mean by physical contact? Do I just... try to hold his hand and talk to him?" That was a mental image that Naruto could not summon. When he thought of Sasuke's hands he thought of... chidori being punched through the center of his chest.

Tsunade snorted as though reading his thoughts. "Somehow I don't think Uchiha is a hand-holding kind of guy. No, nothing like that. You can try scalp massage, or laying your hand on his arm. Any form of touching that he will allow. Or... maybe he would talk to you."

Naruto rolled his eyes. If there was one thing he was completely certain of, it was that Sasuke wasn't going to 'open up' to Naruto after years of fighting him. "How about sparring? I could put my foot up his ass. That kind of physical contact is something I would be _totally_ comfortable with."

Kakashi snickered. "I don't think your foot is the part of your body Sasuke really needs shoved up his ass right now."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, slightly confused. Tsunade casually switched her sake glass to her left hand, and with her right hand flicked Kakashi in the forehead, sending him flying across the room.

"Never mind what Kakashi said, Naruto. You just need to go over and do what you can to help Sasuke. From what Sakura told us, the first thing you'll probably need to do is drown him in the tub. He hasn't been bathing, and his house is a mess."

Naruto frowned at her words. Sasuke had always been fastidious about his hygiene. Almost freakishly so. I mean, the guy had lived in a cave under a mountain with snakes, and his clothes and hair had always pristine. That took effort.

"Alright. Fine. So I just go there and... talk to him and... rub his arm or something?"

Tsunade shrugged. "If you make it through the first day without killing each other, I can have some of the physical therapists here teach you some actual techniques. But there is no point in bothering with that if the minute you walk through the door you've both got your chidori and rasengan going."

Naruto grumbled, "Stupid Sasuke. Greatest fucking ninja in five nations and he can't even wash his ass without help."

But his words didn't fool Kakashi or Tsunade. They could hear the underlying concern for his childhood friend. Naruto may or may not ever forgive Sasuke for what he had done, but they knew that it was simply not in Naruto's character to give up on his friend. No matter how shitty of a friend he had turned out to be in the end.

Because Naruto knew why Sasuke was the way he was. He understood what had twisted and broken the youngest Uchiha. And Naruto still on some level believed that the young boy that had existed before fate had decided to shit all over him still existed amongst the wreckage that he had become.

. . . .

Naruto walked through the village, trying to decide if he should stop by his own apartment first to bathe and rest, or just go directly to Sasuke's. After the description Tsunade had given him about the state that the Uchiha's home was likely in, he decided bathing probably wasn't worthwhile, so he simply grabbed a change of clothes and headed directly there.

People stopped to greet him warmly as he walked. There was no longer any question that he would be the next Hokage. Tsunade simply wanted to wait a couple of years until he matured a bit more, but everyone already acted like it he was their Hokage in every way except the paperwork. The streets of his childhood no longer existed. The buildings had been destroyed by Pain. And the sneering, hostile faces had, too. After saving his village, even his most hostile antagonists could no longer deny the leader he had become. Children smiled and waved shouting out his name excitedly.

Naruto smiled tiredly, but honestly. He finally had achieved what he wanted. And in some ways, he was at peace. But something was still missing.

He reached the edge of the re-built part of town, and his pace slowed as he entered the Uchiha compound. The twisted wreckage of homes a reminder of Pain's attack, but also the fact that there was no one left of the owners to rebuild. Except for the one house that stood alone amongst the debris.

Naruto hadn't been here since Sasuke had rebuilt and moved in. He doubted many people had. It wasn't along the main part of town, and it was quite frankly depressing as hell. Naruto felt a small frisson of guilt for not thinking about how Sasuke had been living since he had dragged his unconscious body home. _But he didn't have to live here. He could have chosen anywhere in town if he wanted._

Naruto felt nerves tighten in his stomach as he approached the door and knocked. There was no answer. Naruto placed the palm of his hand flat on the door, checking for seals or traps, but detecting none.

Reaching for the door knob, he was surprised to find it unlocked. Taking a breath and readying himself for attack, he pushed the door open. And stopped dead at the sight that greeted his eyes.

Sasuke was sitting at his kitchen table, slumped over with his head resting on his arm. The table itself was littered with empty sake bottles, some broken. There were scorch marks in the wall, and one Sakura sized dent in the middle of one. That was apparently where he hurled her when she tried her version of 'touch therapy' on the psychotic ninja.

Naruto wondered where she had tried to touch him, but figured he didn't want to know.

"Sasuke?" Naruto said hesitantly.

The raven lifted his head and Naruto was met with a bleary-eyed black gaze. " - the fck out, N'rto," the slurred voice came. Sasuke hurled an empty sake cup at him, and Naruto had to duck his head to avoid being struck squarely between the eyes. Even dead drunk the Uchiha had flawless aim.

"Sasuke..." Naruto took another step in, and his nose wrinkled. "Jesus, man. You stink. When was the last time you took a shower?"

Sasuke sat up, weaving slightly in his seat as he poured himself another glass of sake. "Fuck off," he said, slightly more clearly as he downed the glass in one go.

Naruto just looked at him, completely at a loss for what to do. He'd never seen Sasuke like this. As far as he knew, Sasuke had never even _tried_ alcohol. Not that he really knew for sure. God only knows what habits Sasuke had picked up living with Orochimaru, then with the Akatsuki. But he knew that this was... way beyond anything he had expected to find.

Naruto walked slowly around the house, feeling Sasuke's eyes following his every step.

"The place is nice. A total pigsty, but nice."

Sasuke simply sneered, not bothering with a reply.

Naruto continued down the hall, somewhat surprised that Sasuke hadn't kicked him out. Or at least tried to. He hadn't even asked Naruto what he was doing here.

Maybe Tsunade had told him Naruto would be coming.

There were four rooms down the hallway, and Naruto felt no compunction about opening the doors to each one and peering in. The first was clearly a spare bedroom, with no furniture at all. The second was a bathroom. The third appeared to be some sort of reading room, though the boxes of books and scrolls were opened but not unpacked.

The final room was clearly Sasuke's room. There was a large bed, a dresser with Uchiha fans on the drawer pulls, and... a huge mess. The state of it reminded Naruto of how his room used to look when he was a twelve-year-old living alone. The smell alone told him that Sasuke had done quite a bit of drinking in here as well. And not changed the sheets in the past month or two.

Naruto remembered the fussy boy who would always have his bed roll tied neatly and put away every morning before Naruto had even rolled slovenly out of his. He could hardly believe it. This was not right. It disturbed him more than the fact that Sasuke had apparently fireballed Sakura and hurled her into a wall.

There was a thump heard from the kitchen, and Naruto poked his head out to see that Sasuke had passed out under his kitchen table.

. . . .

Naruto crouched down next to his fallen friend. Unconscious, Sasuke's face had lost the hard, cold look that he had maintained even in his drunken state. Naruto sat there for several minutes, taking the time to really look at Sasuke's face. It had been years since he had seen the Uchiha sleeping. Back when they had all been together on Team 7. So many years, and so many fights had passed since then. But somehow, Sasuke's face was the same. A little older and thinner, the baby fat long gone. But it was still the boy that had drawn Naruto's complete and utter focus, the boy that Naruto had wanted to acknowledge him above all else.

The boy Naruto had wanted as his best friend.

Naruto reached out to touch Sasuke's hair, something he had always wanted to do. It was stiff and coarse from grime, clearly not having been washed in many days. It bothered Naruto to see Sasuke in dirty clothes, with dirty hair, in a dirty house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. _Sasuke_ wasn't supposed to be like this.

Despite his fatigue, Naruto summoned several shadow clones. Before he washed Sasuke, he'd need a clean place to put him. One of the clones went to try to find clean sheets for the Uchiha's bed and bundle the rest of the dirty clothes and linens down to have them washed.

A second clone set to work cleaning up the empty sake bottles and bringing some level of sanitation back to the kitchen area. That left the real Naruto to deal with Sasuke himself. "Alright, Sasuke. Let's get you cleaned up."

Naruto slid one hand under the unconscious man's shoulders, and another under his knees, then hoisted him up and carried him into the bathroom. He stood in the entryway of the large bathroom for a few minutes, not really sure what to do next. The tub looked fairly clean. Either because Sasuke hadn't been using it, or because even in his declining state a dirty tub had been just too much for the Uchiha to stomach.

Setting Sasuke down on the floor, Naruto turned on the water and closed the drain of the tub. He poured some of Sasuke's soap in, noting that it smelled like sandalwood. He tested the temperature of the water, and knew he was stalling.

He didn't really feel comfortable with what had to come next. They had bathed together when they were younger. But that was back when they had been friends. Which Sasuke clearly didn't consider him anymore.

Naruto took his wet hands and flicked them in Sasuke's face. "Wake up, asshole. You stink and need to wash yourself."

Sasuke didn't move.

Naruto sighed. Sasuke was dressed in one of his grey short-sleeved shirts, which was fully zipped up with its high collar coming up to his chin. The dark blue pants and blue cloth he wore around his waist were stained and disheveled. Naruto decided he would go part way, and untied the purple obi, removing the blue cloth but not the pants. The pants needed to be washed anyway. He unzipped Sasuke's shirt and pulled it off, earning a groan from the otherwise limp form before he picked him up and placed him in the tub, only to quickly grip onto Sasuke's arm as the unconscious man almost slipped beneath the water.

Sasuke must have breathed in some of the water, because he began coughing, and his eyes opened briefly, focused on Naruto for a frozen instant, then closed again.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, more than half expecting a fist to come flying at his face. Possibly charged with chidori. He wondered how well that would work in the tub, but assumed Sasuke knew how to avoid electrocuting himself. "You know... it would make this a lot easier if you participated."

"Fuck you," Sasuke slurred, his eyes staying closed.

Naruto wasn't exactly sure what to do, but Tsunade had said something about head massages. That's sort of what you do when you wash your hair anyway. Since Sasuke's hair had already gotten wet when Naruto had almost accidentally drowned him, he simply squirted some of the scented shampoo onto his hands, working them together to make a lather. Sasuke must have been alert enough to prevent himself from slipping down in the tub again, but he made no more move to speak or open his eyes.

Naruto pressed his fingertips into the scalp at the front of Sasuke's forehead, and slid them back into the thick, dirty, black locks, pressing down and rubbing in small circles as he did. Sasuke breathed out, one pale hand gripping the edge of the tub, likely to keep himself from sliding down under the water. Dragging his fingers back to the front of Sasuke's head, he repeated the motion, pushing even further back to the crown of Sasuke's head. A spray of goose bumps appeared along Sasuke's neck and shoulders at the sudden release of tension.

There was a small bathing pitcher next to the tub, and Naruto used it to pour some additional water into Sasuke's hair to make a lather, using his other hand to prevent the soapy water from running into Sasuke's eyes. Naruto's fingers were strong and calloused from years of fighting, but he tried to gentle his touch somewhat as he worked the scented soap through Sasuke's black locks, massaging down to the scalp then tugging back on the strands. He noticed absently that Sasuke had grown his hair out so that it covered more of his forehead than it used to.

He slowly worked his way toward the back of Sasuke's head, until he got all the way to the base of the neck, taking time to work through each section of Sasuke's hair. When he had finished, he rinsed it clean. Sasuke let out a small sigh, slowly opening his eyes. "Why?"

Naruto didn't pretend to misunderstand. "The Old Bag told me you needed a bath. And your house is a pigsty, so I cleaned it up a bit."

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. So I get the next Hokage as my personal maid," he said, his eyes unfocused for a minute. But then they turned hard and swirled red, the smirk slipping away. "Now get out."

Naruto stood, assuming that if Sasuke was alert enough to activate the sharingan, he probably could manage to finish bathing himself without drowning.

"You're welcome, asshole," Naruto said sarcastically, drying his hands on the clean towel and throwing it on the floor next to the tub. "This is clean, and so are the sheets on your bed. Sleep it off, and try to do something other than drink tomorrow."

Naruto glared at Sasuke, but the man had already closed his eyes again, turning his face slightly away toward the shower wall. "Whatever. Get out."

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	2. Traps

**Warning:** language, angst, **mental illness, drug use** , and the conscious decision to engage in it. THIS IS A MATURE TOPIC please do not read if you are under 18.

 **Disclaimer** \- Chapter 694 has made me slightly less angry that Kishimoto owns Naruto. Still wish 10 Rankai did, though.

 **Author's note** \- Theme song for this chapter (I guess sort of sasuke's theme song right now) is an old Papa Roach song called 'My Last Resort'. I know I have mentioned this before, but to me, Canon!Sasuke is very different from the AU Sasukes that I write particularly in terms of his mental health. His family trauma is pretty much off-the-charts in Canon, and Kishimoto has been really clear that Sasuke has mental issues. I am not going to pretend he doesn't. So it will be a bit rough. YOU ARE WARNED. Also thanks to Gweatherwax for discussing with me what types of drug usage were likely to fit with Canon.

-xXx-

Naruto trudged back to his apartment after stuffing the Uchiha's laundry in the small washing machine next to the bathroom. He'd return later to dry it if Sasuke wouldn't. He was so tired, he was almost asleep before he unlocked his door but somehow he managed to shower before climbing into bed. Once there, however, he found sleep slipping from his grasp. He couldn't get the sight of Sasuke's face out of his head. Somehow the face of the adult Sasuke was merging with the face of the child Naruto had coveted. They two versions were linked in a way that Naruto couldn't control, and with the blending of the images, his emotions were entangled and twisted as well. His childhood obsession with proving himself worthy, his willingness to sacrifice himself to protect that boy... to do anything at all for Sasuke.

The boy who had grown into a rogue ninja that had betrayed him and tried to kill him several times. Who seemed to place no value at all on any of their shared past. As though they had been brief acquaintances not worth remarking.

But for Naruto, Sasuke's face and his very existence were seared into his soul. From the day they had first met, he had been unable to take his eyes from him, though he had thought it jealousy at the time. Over time, it had grown into admiration and some sort of... longing. For friendship, Naruto supposed, not really having any other name for the emotion he felt. Though it was not the same as the friendship he felt for Gaara, or Shikamaru, or anyone else. It was different, somehow. So much stronger, despite the number of years that had passed.

When the Sage had said their lives had been tied together before, it had finally seemed to make some sort of sense to Naruto. It explained the visceral pull he had always felt for the dark-haired boy. But why was Naruto the only one to feel this bond? Why was Sasuke able to ignore it so completely? Was the sage wrong? Or was the bond somehow one-sided?

Naruto breathed out raggedly in frustration, the sleep he so desperately needed slipping further from his grasp.

Maybe he really was the idiot that everyone had always claimed him to be. After all this time, he still felt the pull of the boy. Still felt that obsession as he looked on Sasuke's sleeping face. Naruto had accomplished so much, and was no longer the outcast of Konoha. He was now its hero. So _why_ did he still feel like none if it mattered without the recognition from this one person? Why had he not been able to outgrow his childhood fixation?

Sasuke had tried to kill him three times.

THREE.

Naruto had come to terms with the first battle at the Valley of the End. Sasuke had been terrified that Itachi would return, and Sasuke was not getting strong enough fast enough. He had taken a shortcut, a dangerous (and in Naruto's mind stupid) one, but it was because Sasuke was afraid for his life and possibly even for Naruto and Kakashi, who had also been targeted by Itachi. Kakashi had been Sasuke's teacher, but had fallen so easily against Itachi that Naruto understood at some level Sasuke's belief that he had needed to find a stronger teacher. Though Naruto still disagreed with the riskiness of the choice. In the end Sasuke had defeated Orochimaru, which in Naruto's mind wiped the slate clean.

The second attempt had been decidedly half-hearted, and Naruto could have easily dodged or blocked it on his own if Sai had not intervened. He could over-look that one, too.

But this last one... could not be overlooked. Naruto had grown stronger. Smarter. Had he not proven that in the battle they had fought side-by-side against insurmountable odds that neither could have defeated alone? Was that still not enough to earn Naruto some sort of recognition from Sasuke? Some acknowledgement as an equal... a potential partner in whatever plan Sasuke was following at the moment?

Naruto felt a twisting in his gut, a horrible leaden feeling has he remembered the disbelief that had washed over him when - after everything they had been through in the final battle - Sasuke had still not viewed him as a comrade, much less a friend. Naruto's only form of acknowledgement from Sasuke had been that he was worth fighting. Unlike Sakura or Kakashi, whom Sasuke had disregarded as irrelevant. But that hadn't been the type of acknowledgment Naruto had wanted.

Sasuke had viewed Naruto narrowly as yet another obstacle in his way to achieving whatever fucked-up idea was in the Uchiha's head at the moment. Never mind that three months later Sasuke would probably talk to someone else and change his fucking mind _again_.

And that was another thing that really pissed Naruto off. Sasuke seemed to be influenced by so many _other_ people.

Itachi, Naruto could understand. Of course Sasuke would have believed his older brother. But Tobi/Obito? Seriously? And then some dead Hokages, some of whom were responsible for his clan's murder, talked to him for ten minutes and achieved what a lifetime of begging on Naruto's part had not. All of them had more influence over what Sasuke believed in than Naruto. People lied and manipulated and used Sasuke. Naruto was the only one who had always been completely honest with him, and never had any ulterior motives except just wanting his friendship. Wanting to protect Sasuke, or at least fight by his side. No matter what had happened, Naruto had trusted Sasuke and stood up for him when even Sakura and the rest of their class had decided he should be killed as a nuke nin.

But still, Sasuke had treated him as though he were just another adversary.

Why couldn't Naruto hate him? Why had Naruto instead told Tsunade that he wouldn't agree to any charges held against Sasuke for their final battle?

Why did the sight of Sasuke's face and the feel of his hair in Naruto's fingers linger in his mind and keep him from sleep?

Naruto was briefly glad that the side effect of having Kurama ripped from his body then imprisoned by Sasuke before being re-sealed had left the fox temporarily dormant within him. He could just imagine what the old fox would have to say about this.

The thought brought a half-smile to Naruto's lips, allowing him to finally drift off to sleep. Though his dreams were laced with a feeling contempt for his own weakness for this one man, who evidently never cared about him at all.

-xXx-

Sasuke woke, surprised for a moment to find himself in a clean bed, wearing clean clothes. He looked around his room, noticing his dirty clothes were no longer in sight. His head was pounding, but he was used to it. It was a small price to pay for the oblivion that alcohol brought. It was part of the reason that Sasuke had started experimenting with other ways of killing his thoughts.

That reminded Sasuke that he was running low on sake. But at least the little jar he kept in with the spices in the kitchen was mostly full.

He hated leaving his house. He hated living in the village. The guarded stares, the disapproving glances, the lustful leers. He hated them all. Who were they to judge or admire him? What did they know? They'd lived in ignorance while his clan was slaughtered, enjoying the peace and safety of the village without being aware of the heavy price that others had paid for it. Sasuke hated them for their unquestioning acceptance of the contrived story of events that was fed to them.

All the images of dislike and distrust that he saw through his brother's eyes that were now his. The eyes of the man who had arguably suffered the most, villainized by the very people he had sacrificed himself to protect. Every morning that Sasuke looked in the mirror, he was met with Itachi's eyes. He was swamped with the reality of living with the eyes of the brother he had loved. The brother he had killed.

He walked to the bathroom, avoiding looking at the mirror, and a memory flashed across his mind - Naruto, leaning over him in the bath. Strong, tan fingers scrubbing his hair clean.

Had it been real?

Yes. But why? What had Naruto wanted with him? Why had he come to his home?

_After all these months of ignoring me. Avoiding me._

Sasuke didn't want Naruto here. Not now. Not like this. He wasn't ready. He wouldn't be judged. He didn't need the Hero of fucking Konoha there to pity him. Or try to 'save' him.

Though Naruto had stopped saying things like that after the fight had started in earnest. Why did Sasuke remember the way Naruto's eyes had dimmed, then hardened when Sasuke had made it clear he intended to kill Naruto and all the tailed beasts?

It didn't matter.

_None of it matters now._

But he didn't like that his former teammate had entered his home uninvited. Sasuke wanted his privacy. It was the whole reason he had rebuilt his home amidst the rubble of the Uchiha compound. Sasuke realized he had become lax about setting the seals around his home. This was Uchiha land. No one but him was allowed here. The blood of his clan had soaked into the soil. This was what he would remember. This was what was left of his legacy.

_So much blood._

But Naruto hadn't come to visit Sasuke's memorial to his clan. Why had he come? To rub it in? To chastise him for what had happened with Sakura? To 'talk' with him?

_Bullshit._

Sasuke didn't care. Naruto had come. Now Sasuke would go to him.

-xXx-

Sasuke had entered Naruto's small apartment through the bedroom window that Naruto had foolishly left open.

 _And this is the future Hokage?_ Sasuke thought, sneering down at the man sleeping sprawled out in his narrow bed.

The sheet covered Naruto's hips and thighs, but everything else was exposed. It was clear that Naruto had just returned from a mission. His chakra levels were still low. And he was exhausted, judging by the way he slept flat on his back without moving, not noticing the presence of a potential enemy in the room. Sasuke stood there, watching Naruto sleep.

He could kill him now. It would be possible that no one would know it was him.

_Stupid. Everyone would know. You are the only enemy left alive that could kill him. They'd know it was you._

Still, Sasuke considered it. He had nothing to gain from Naruto's death anymore. That opportunity had passed. The bijuu were now safely out of his reach.

But it bothered him. Why could he never kill this person? What was it about Naruto that always made him hold back at the last minute? Sasuke had not held back when he had fought Itachi. The brother Sasuke had loved and admired more than anyone else.

But he hadn't been able to kill Naruto, despite having had three chances to do so. Well, two at least. Naruto had grown stronger by the third and final time, and Sasuke hadn't had to hold back in battle. The third time, it had been Naruto who had held back from the kill.

Still, Sasuke wondered if he really could have done it, had the opportunity presented itself at the time. Part of him had wanted to know. He didn't understand why this one tie had proven so difficult to break.

He didn't understand what Naruto could possibly want from him. He had never understood it.

Naruto had said wanted to be Sasuke's brother at one point. Wanted Sasuke to trust him like family.

Family. Like Sasuke's parents who had been leading the plot to revolt against the village, who never told him about what they were doing, despite the rest of the clan knowing. Who ignored the warnings of a possible pre-emptive strike by Anbu if they continued their plans. Who put their own ambitions above the lives of the Uchiha clan.

Family. Like his brother who kept his allegiance secret, slaughtering their entire clan to 'save' Sasuke, while at the same time burdening him with the heavy guilt of being the only Uchiha left untouched, of having the responsibility to avenge his entire clan against the one person he had idolized above all others without knowing the truth until it was too late.

Family. Like Obito, who had claimed he wanted to help Sasuke, when in truth he was only planning to deliver him to Kabuto as payment for the _edo tensei_ jutsu to create an army of resurrected ninjas.

Family. Like Madara who cut him down in battle without a second thought, who only considered him as a potential source of ocular power until his own rinnegan were retrieved.

Why would Sasuke want more family? Why would a claim of 'brotherhood' imply that Sasuke should somehow trust or believe in Naruto? His own blood relatives had betrayed him. Misled him. Left him. Why would he ever trust anyone else, where the bond could only be weaker?

No. He would never understand why Naruto valued such a claim. Sasuke certainly didn't. He knew already what the value and _worthiness_ of those bonds were.

Sasuke found his gaze fixed on Naruto's sleeping form, sweeping over the broader shoulders and muscled chest that had replaced the child's body he remembered in their youth.

_He has no scars. Even from where my hand passed through his chest. It's like it never happened._

It bothered Sasuke. There should be a _mark_ from their battles. Sasuke had scars. Though the worst wounds were unseen, as Itachi had taught him.

 _Itachi._ Sasuke brushed his fingers over his eyes. _Itachi's eyes_.

He felt the familiar anger boiling up inside him. Once it had fuelled and focused him. Now it made him feel impotent. He had been robbed of his revenge against the council. Hiding safely away from any danger of getting caught up in the frontline fighting, the council had instead been caught in one of the random tailed-beast bombs that the Juubi had fired off before Obito had gained control as the Juubi's Jinchuuriki.

When Sasuke had found out about their deaths, the senseless and _accidental_ way that the focus of his hatred had been wiped out without any assistance on his part, laughter had bubbled out despite himself. He had laughed uncontrollably for almost five minutes. It was so funny... all their plotting and scheming and machinations. And they were vaporized in a random blast aimed at nothing. In a way, it was incredibly fitting. Their deaths went almost unremarked given the drama and broader tragedy of the war. And they had died hiding, a cloud of scandal firmly shrouding them.

Still, Sasuke would have preferred to slice them open himself and have them die bleeding and begging his forgiveness at his feet. But now that would never happen.

_What did he want now?_

Sasuke's aspiration to be Hokage was over. Naruto would be the next Hokage. Sasuke had lost.

His stomach tightened as the truth of those words settled in on him. They both would achieve the 'dreams' of their youth. Sasuke had killed his brother, though that victory lay bitter on his soul.

And Naruto would become Hokage. Already he was viewed as Hokage in all but name.

How had that happened? How had the awkward, Dead Last that Sasuke remembered turn into the powerful shinobi sleeping in front of him?

Though he hadn't really been dead last. He had been trying to control an immense chakra that was not his own through an imperfect seal. Once Jiraya had fixed things, Naruto's power had rapidly built.

_So rapidly that he was leaving you behind._

Had it mattered to Sasuke back then? Sasuke tried to remember. It felt like centuries ago.

Yes. It had mattered. Naruto had... mattered.

Not like a brother. Not like family.

 _Rivals_ , Naruto had called them. Staring at the sleeping shinobi, Sasuke tested the word in his mind. Were they rivals? Was that what he felt when he was with Naruto?

Maybe. He felt something. He had always felt something. When he looked at Naruto he wanted to... do... something. Always. To fight. To hold Naruto's attention. To make Naruto chase him.

Sasuke had hated Sakura. She had distracted Naruto. Naruto was supposed to focus on Sasuke. Not Sakura.

He took a step towards Naruto's sleeping form. He could kill him now, while he was unconscious in sleep. But somehow... that was not what he wanted.

Sasuke's gaze went again to the smooth skin across Naruto's torso. He wanted to _mark_ it. He _had_ marked it. The demon had erased the mark, as though revoking Sasuke's claim on the blond.

Sasuke felt an anger stir. Kyuubi had _no right_ to erase his mark.

Without realizing it, Sasuke's hand reached out, his fingertips brushing along the unmarred flesh across Naruto's breastbone.

A tan hand viced around his wrist, and Sasuke felt his gaze locked by piercing blue orbs.

Sasuke didn't attempt to withdraw his hand. He would not act as though he had no right to touch the body that should have still born his mark. Sasuke's body still bore the scars that Naruto had left. Their gazes locked, both unflinching.

Finally, it was Naruto who spoke. "What are you doing here?"

Sasuke showed no expression on his face. "You came into my home without an invitation. Don't do it again."

Naruto flung Sasuke's hand aside, sitting up, and pulling the sheet to be sure it still covered his lap.

"Take care of yourself and I won't have to. You're too powerful a shinobi for Tsunade to just let you go on a drunken rampage whenever you want," Naruto said calmly.

Sasuke hated this new, calm Naruto. Hated that Naruto had not called him bastard or teme or any of the words he used to use.

"So that's the only reason you came into my house? Because Tsunade ordered you to, to keep me from hurting anyone else?"

Naruto hesitated. He had been avoiding Sasuke, trying to make sense of what he felt and deal with the anger and his own sense of failure of never being able to reach Sasuke or seemingly influence him in any way. But Naruto knew that Sasuke would not be interested in hearing about that. After all, hadn't Naruto spent _years_ talking about his bond with Sasuke and his desire to be his friend? Naruto finally understood that Sasuke simply did not care about that, so he would stick with the piece that Sasuke would respect. A direct order from a superior.

"Tsunade's job is to protect Konoha. Even from its own citizens. From hurting others or yourself. She asked me to check on you, so I did." Naruto didn't think now was the time to disclose _exactly_ what Tsunade had said. He'd find out today whether this little experiment was even going to continue or not, and he'd try to talk to Sasuke about it then, once he understood it better himself.

The silence stretched.

"Fine," Sasuke said at last, his voice reflecting none of the anger and turmoil that was washing over him. He turned fluidly and left, this time using the door rather than the window.

Naruto sat there, frozen, watching him go and wondering why he felt like he had somehow missed something. Somehow made a mistake.

It had been unsettling to wake and find Sasuke in his bedroom, touching him.

Unconsciously, Naruto's hand drifted to the point on his chest where Sasuke's fingers had rested. The skin there tingled slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had been thinking of using chidori. No one else's touches made his skin react like that. _It must be Sasuke's lightning affinity._

He looked at the clock and realized he had overslept. He was supposed to go to Tsunade and report what had happened last night. And this morning.

-xXx-

Sasuke ignored the villagers as he made his way from Naruto's apartment. Since he was already in town, he stopped and purchased more sake, ignoring the knowing look that the storekeeper gave him. He didn't care what people thought. Tsunade was a lush and they made her Hokage.

Naruto had come because Tsunade had ordered him to. It made sense. It was logical.

Of course there was no other reason that Naruto would come. So why did the words come as almost a surprise? Why did they make him angry?

Sasuke thought again of the smooth, tan skin on Naruto's chest. The warmth and hardness of the flesh against his fingers. He felt a coiling in his gut, a tension that seemed an even more amplified of the sensation that he had always felt around the blond. As always, it left him feeling tense, unsettled, and aggressive. In the past, this feeling had driven his need to compete, to spar, to... to... Sasuke didn't know what.

_Something._

Somehow that feeling was even stronger now, as an adult. Especially now that he didn't have other things demanding his attention.

But Naruto wouldn't be coming to spar with him. They were no longer teammates. Sasuke was no longer a Konoha ninja. He was a civilian until Tsunade deemed otherwise.

All of Sasuke's goals had either been achieved or destroyed. And the village he had once served had no use for him.

He no longer served a purpose.

Shinobi were tools. But what was a tool when no one wanted to wield it anymore?

Sasuke's entire life had revolved around pushing himself past his limits to reach his goals. But now he had no goal. There was nothing for him to focus on, to strive for. All that was left were the memories, doubts and 'what-ifs' that now haunted his waking moments. Vengeance had been a constant in Sasuke's life. It had fuelled him and driven away the anguish of actually facing his past.

The only other constant in Sasuke's life had been Naruto. Even when they had been separated, Sasuke could feel Naruto's focus on him as though it were a living thing. Even if he went years without seeing the blond, he had known that he was in Naruto's every thought, that Naruto was pushing himself just as Sasuke had kept pushing. They might not have been together, but they had still been connected as though by an invisible thread.

Now even that was gone.

Sasuke was no longer Naruto's focus. The Hokage had had to _order_ Naruto to even visit him.

He reached his home, this time taking care to lock and trap the door.

He put away the alcohol, not bothering to pour himself a glass. He had other plans. He needed something stronger than alcohol.

He walked to his kitchen, taking out a jar of a sticky, black substance. The man who sold Sasuke the alcohol had a supply of it under a floorboard in the shop's storage room. He was not the only ninja in Konoha wanting to escape his thoughts. Many of the Sound nins had used it, as most had things in their past that they were trying to forget from homes far away or completely destroyed. Poppies grew in fields all over the Sound. Sasuke had never understood the appeal at the time. Why would you willingly put yourself at such a disadvantage both physically and mentally?

But he understood it better now. He smiled bitterly.

Though he was new to the black substance, he already knew its effects. The good and the bad. He was not an addict. He was careful. He only allowed himself to use a small amount every other day. And when the jar was gone, he had promised himself he would not buy more.

It was just temporary, until he decided what to do.

He lit the flame and brought out a small silver plate that he held with a pair of tongs. He didn't purchase a pipe, even though he knew that was the most convenient and efficient way to use the substance. But a pipe would imply a permanence of the habit. Sasuke was not an addict. He would finish the jar, then it would be done.

His hand shook slightly in anticipation as he took a bead of the tar and dropped it onto the hot metal, vaporizing it. Sasuke drew a deep breath, feeling the drug slowly numb his mind, the now-familiar euphoria starting to build, shutting out all else, wiping his mind clean.

_Yeeessssss._

Sasuke leaned back on the cushion, letting his head fall back. He had worked with Kabuto and Orochimaru enough to know the side effects of the drug.

It effected the central nervous system, which meant that extended use would permanently damage his reflexes as well as his cognitive abilities. Before now, he would never have even considered it. His body and his mind had been fully under his control, his path to destroying his enemies and avenging his clan.

But now he had no goals. And the bliss, artificial though it was, was surely better than the slow drowning in memories of things lost. Or worse, moments where he could spend time revisiting what would have happened if he had chosen differently.

If he had not killed Itachi.

If he had not left the village.

If he had not tried to kill Naruto.

_Naruto._

Sasuke's blood heated in an unfamiliar way as images of Naruto's naked skin swirled through Sasuke's hazed mind. He felt that coil of tension again in his stomach, and somehow it seeped lower.

He didn't understand his body's response but it didn't matter. Sasuke drew another deep breath of the sweet, heavy smoke. His entire body relaxed.

Nothing mattered right now.

-xXx-

_to be continued..._

So I just want to say that Sasuke is falling into a very dangerous trap. I had a friend who was a graduate student at an ivy league university and was working on a thesis under one of the most famous professors in the department as the star of the group. He thought he was too smart and too disciplined to ever be an addict or get into trouble with it. He died of a heroin overdose at the age of 23. He'd been using for a few years. He was smart as hell, but it didn't make him any less dead. Heroine and other opium derivatives are seriously scary. It's not like alcohol or weed (which have their own associated issues, but it's really NOT THE SAME). This story will have a happier ending, but my description of Sasuke's drug use and how he views it is based on my friend, and how he slid into it, so it's a little personal and raw.


	3. Truths

**Author's note** \- Ok, so just to clear up a bit on the age/sexual experience thing. In the manga during the 'final battle', Naruto and Sasuke are like 17. YOUNG. And Kurama made a point just before the battle that Sasuke was still the only person Naruto had kissed (despite my deeply held believe that Naruto totally got it on with the first Menma and also Sora), so he is VERY inexperienced, but well-read (thanks to Jiraya). Sasuke has also apparently never been closer with anyone than Naruto, so he is even more inexperience and not well-read. Sasuke's virginity I can buy more because it is not uncommon for people with PTSD or depression to have total loss of libido. Naruto's... is a bit more of a stretch for me since usually people who are 'attention seekers' do this sexually as well when the opportunity arrives, and after saving the village from Pain Naruto probably could have banged his way through half the village but for some reason Kishi has kept him pure. And since I am trying to write full-on Canon with no plot divergence (up to 693), then I have to abide by that. They are both trying to reconcile their childhood feelings with their 'adult' feelings, and it is a bit confusing because they HAD a physical (violent) relationship and there are similarities between sex and violence, lust and hatred. And they are both emotionally crippled, though in different ways. So that is why their courtship here is going to feel so f*cked up. But this is just how I see them. I mean, if they were ANY LESS clueless about their sexuality, there is no way they would both still be virgins given the lives they have led.

-xXx-

Naruto stood staring at the door that Sasuke had just exited for several minutes. It was the first time since Sasuke had been back in the village that he had come to his house. Evidently _broken into_ his house. Somehow, that sent a dark thrill down Naruto's spine. The fact that Sasuke had come, not only without Naruto asking him to do so, but that Sasuke had been so intent on coming that he had actually forced his way in illicitly to... see Naruto.

Naruto brushed his fingers again over the place on his chest where Sasuke's fingers had rested. Somehow, instead of dissipating, the residual heat from the touch seemed to grow.

He closed his eyes and briefly recalled the cold perfection of Sasuke's face staring down at Naruto's chest when he had awoken at the unfamiliar sensation of someone touching his body while he slept. Normally, Naruto would have roused at the slightest sound or sense of an unfamiliar chakra source entering his home, but he had been utterly exhausted and evidently not heard Sasuke enter. _Though Sasuke's chakra signature was not unfamiliar._ And no matter how much history had tried to teach him otherwise, Naruto never was able to really consider Sasuke an enemy. More like... an incredibly dangerous and unpredictable friend.

Considering Sasuke's skills, it was possible Naruto wouldn't have woken even if he had not been so exhausted. And somehow that thought sent another chill of almost... _anticipation_ through Naruto. He didn't gloss over Sasuke's dark side like so many of his fangirls did. He knew that Sasuke was capable of cruelty and tremendous violence. He didn't try to deny that, or make it out to be somehow untrue. Because he understood the reasons behind it, and he found it somehow... compelling. He had always had a deep fascination with Sasuke, what he did and why he did it. It was, in part, the darkness within Sasuke that drew Naruto.

And he knew that on some level, Sasuke had always known this. Where Sasuke would deride Sakura and other of his fangirls saying that they liked him only for the shallowest of reasons, Sasuke had never made that claim about Naruto. He knew that Naruto's friendship was not based on looks or prestige. Naruto didn't try to make Sasuke something that he wasn't. Not really. Not entirely.

Because Naruto understood all too well how close he had come at one point to giving in to that same darkness that was inside himself. But his desire to win Sasuke's acknowledgement had somehow replaced his desire to act on the darkness that had grown inside him from the callous treatment of the village. Sasuke had kept Naruto from giving in to his darkness by giving him something he had wanted to pursue even more than revenge.

And part of what drove Naruto now was the fact that he had not been able to return the favor. Sasuke had chosen revenge over him.

But Naruto still felt the pull he had always felt towards Sasuke. It wasn't his looks, but it was his intensity, his brokenness, his strength.

 _Though_... Naruto opened his eyes, surprised to realize he was slightly hard, skin still tingling from where Sasuke had touched his naked chest. ... _though he had to admit Sasuke's looks were compelling, too. There was something about the ruthless beauty of the man, so cold and hard, yet almost... delicate... in his perfection._ It was this dichotomy perhaps that was part of the overall mystique of Sasuke. So dangerous and powerful. But with a face almost ethereal in beauty.

Naruto shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking about? Sasuke had come into his bedroom, and could probably have killed him in his sleep. Instead of worrying about that, Naruto was mooning over his pretty face and getting hard like a girl. Well... not like... a girl since he was... hard.

Completely annoyed with himself, Naruto decided to write the whole thing off to surprise and morning wood. He couldn't possibly deal with anything else. All other options just made everything infinitely more complicated than he was prepared to deal with.

. . . . .

Naruto arrived thirty minutes late to Tsunade's office, and found her tapping her fingers in annoyance on her desk at his tardiness.

"I was wondering if Sasuke had trapped you in a genjutsu when you went to see him. But evidently you survived your first visit," the Hokage said, her eyes assessing his complete health. Everyone else who had attempted to visit the last remaining Uchiha had come away with not insignificant damage to their person. Naruto had not, and Tsunade began to realize that there could be merit in Kakashi's idea.

Naruto shifted on his feet. "No, he was fine. A little out of it, but..."

"Tell me exactly what happened, and what you did. We need to keep track of his mental health, and right now you are the only one who can witness it without setting him off."

Naruto was torn between worry that Tsunade evidently felt Sasuke was such a risk that this type of monitoring was required, and... pride?... that he was the only one Sasuke would allow to do so. Not Sakura. Not Kakashi. _NOT_ _Sakura_. Somehow that... pleased him tremendously. He pushed the slightly selfish thought down, feeling a little guilty. He knew how desperately Sakura wanted to be the one to 'be there' for Sasuke. _Though she was ready enough to give up on him after he joined Akatsuki and attacked the Kage summit._ Naruto realized Tsunade was losing patience with him again, and refocused.

"Well, when I got there he was just... sitting at his kitchen table," Naruto paused, not really want to rat Sasuke out by saying that he had been drunk off his ass. Though given Tsunade's own weakness, he suspected she would be more sympathetic than not.

"And what was his condition?" she pressed.

"Well, he had been... drinking a bit, I guess," Naruto mumbled, then rallied. "But he was still totally in control. He threw a cup right at my head and it would have hit me dead on if I hadn't dodged."

Naruto paused, realizing that this might not actually be a point in Sasuke's favor when Tsunade's eyes narrowed.

"So he was basically drunk off his ass and attacked you," Tsunade said, her voice hard.

"No! I mean, he knew I could dodge it. Seriously, Tsunade, just flicking a cup at me is hardly an attack. Especially coming from Sasuke. When he attacks, it's like... not subtle."

Tsunade's lips twitched, whether from annoyance or amusement, Naruto wasn't sure.

"Ok, brat. So he didn't all-out attack you, but he _was_ drunk."

Naruto fidgeted, but didn't respond.

Tsunade sighed, realizing she wasn't going to get Naruto to admit to Sasuke's state of mind. "Ok, so after he threw the cup at you, what happened?"

Naruto perked up, slightly more confident at this part of his report. "I made a couple of clones, and cleaned up his place and helped him take a bath."

This time Tsunade blinked. "You... _bathed_ him?" Kakashi was much more correct than she could ever have hoped. She bit the inside of her lip to keep a snicker from bubbling out at the _earnest_ look on Naruto's face. Like this was perfectly normal. Living so long with Jiraya, she was surprised that Naruto had a shred of innocence left, but she supposed there was a difference between hearing (or reading) about something and actually experiencing it. Her guess was that Naruto had been so scarred by the long-time rejection of the village that he had been afraid to let anyone get _that_ close to him, despite numerous people clearly being more than willing. Part of the price of having a monster living inside you. Again, Tsunade found herself cursing the short-sightedness of the Third Hokage.

Naruto nodded. "One of my clones cleaned up his bedroom and changed the sheets, another cleaned up the kitchen, and I helped him into the tub."

"And he... was conscious? He let you?"

Naruto shrugged. "He just looked at me and... told me to fuck off and get out. Then I left." Naruto decided it best not to mention Sasuke had activated the Sharingan. He hadn't attacked with it, so it didn't really count.

"And then he came to my apartment this morning to see me."

Had Tsunade not already been slightly overwhelmed by the idea of the little Uchiha allowing someone to help him bathe, she would have shown more surprise at the prickly recluse actually bothering to seek anyone out.

"And what did he want to know?"

"Just why I had been there to see him... why I had helped him."

Tsunade's breath caught. "And what did you tell him, Gaki?"

"That... you had ordered me to, to be sure he wasn't a safety risk to himself or the village."

 _Damn_. Tsunade thought. "Baka. You should have told him the truth."

Naruto scowled, still having the niggling feeling himself that he had messed that up that morning. "It WAS the truth, baa-chan. I would not have gone to his place if you hadn't told me to."

That was at least partially true. If Tsunade had not told Naruto that Sasuke was becoming unstable... well... MORE unstable, he would not have gone. But if she had simply told Naruto that Sasuke needed his help, but not ordered him to go, would he still have gone? Naruto shifted, the answer coming immediately to his mind. Yes. Yes and goddamn himself a thousand times for being an idiot, but yes. He would always go if Sasuke needed him, even if the asshole never actually wanted his help.

Tsunade was watching the flicker of emotions play over Naruto's ever expressive face, and realized that she didn't need to tell the boy the truth. He clearly already realized it, but didn't like it. Well, that was fine. Neither did she. She had hoped Naruto would find happiness with Hinata, or one of the villagers who would support him and show him kindness for the years of neglect and abuse he had suffered. But somehow, Naruto had long ago chosen a boy who was possibly not capable of giving him that, but needed Naruto more than anyone.

She sighed. These sorts of things weren't up to her anyway. They days of forced marriage to breed stronger bloodlines were faded. And in her heart, all she wanted was for Naruto to find happiness, in a way that Dan and Nawaki should have, but had been denied. It was this one final mission that kept her feeling bound here. The war was over, she had trained her successors. Naruto would be the next Hokage, and Sakura had learned all her medical arts. But this one last thing, finally to have someone she cared deeply for find happiness... this she needed in order to feel complete.

And if that meant letting the Uchiha claim Naruto's heart, then she would just have to allow it, though everything inside her screamed for Naruto to have chosen differently. Even the Kazekage would have been better, though he had his own tortured past, and it would have complicated Naruto's succession as Hokage.

"Naruto. Sasuke has completely detached himself from every contact in his life, with the possible exception of you. If you tell him you have no interest in him except in following my orders, what do you think he will do with that final bond? You are the only one he will talk to."

"Hmmm," Naruto hummed a bit noncommittally, feeling guilty. "He didn't talk much, but... I guess I'll... not make it clear that it isn't that I don't want to help him. And he wasn't drunk this morning. He seemed his usual self." Naruto stopped at that. Honestly, the way Sasuke had stared at him had NOT really seemed like his normal self. But it hadn't seemed crazy either. Or particularly dangerous. Just... intense.

"Well, I think it is worth proceeding with the plan. I am going to instruct you on some basic techniques. I want you to go over to his house today and discuss it with him. I don't think he will simply allow you to touch him without some sort of explanation. But even if he disagrees with this approach, just having some sort of connection with someone will help. Let him set the pace for how he wants to interact, and how he wants to proceed, unless he refuses to allow you in altogether."

"Didn't the people who tried this before ever explain anything to him?" Naruto said incredulously. Surely no one was that stupid to try to corner Sasuke in his home and start groping him.

"It never got that far," Tsunade said drily. "Generally they didn't make it through the front door."

Naruto shrugged, not really surprised. Even before Sasuke was crazy, he was not exactly a friendly guy.

"Ok, so what exactly am I supposed to do?"

Tsunade pulled out a diagram of the human body. "You are already familiar with the concept of pressure points. There are three kind: muscular, nerve, and chakra. In combat, targeting nerve or chakra pressure points are the most effective, though even muscular ones can do damage, particularly the heart and diaphragm. It is similar in this case. Specialists in massage therapy will target points where you have both nerve and muscular pressure points in the same location, such as the arch of the foot, the back of the knees, the base of the neck. There are eleven of these spots, circled here in red." Naruto accepted the diagram that Tsunade gave him, glancing at where they were, but not really needing to. These were in general the places he was already trained to target his Taijutsu attacks.

"Ok. So I know where these spots are already," Naruto said. "But... I'm assuming I don't try to hit him there, so what I just... rub his foot?"

Tsunade glared. "Not 'rub'. You use your thumb or heel of your hand to press in small circular motions. You need to activate the nerve and muscle node to release the endorphins and cause the vascular response, not just apply friction to the skin. There are various techniques for doing this, but the basic idea is don't press so hard that it bruises, and don't press so lightly that you don't do anything."

Naruto looked at the diagram again, trying to imagine himself actually doing this to Sasuke. He really couldn't. The foot, the knee, the neck, below the shoulder blade, the groin... Naruto choked slightly and looked a bit frantically at Tsunade. "I don't have to do _all_ of these, right?"

She managed not to laugh when she saw that Naruto had finally noticed where they all were. "No, Baka. Just agree to try one or two, and we can see if there is any effect. Let Sasuke decide what he's comfortable with. With most patients, the endorphins help decrease the effects of the depression, and the increase in vascular flow to the muscles helps decrease some of the effects of anxiety. But as I've explained, due to the blood limit characteristics of the Sharingan, the brain chemistry of the Uchiha clan is not the same. We don't actually know what will work and what won't. This might have no effect at all, but it is safer to start here while we do more research before we try synthetic chemicals. And who knows. Maybe just having someone to talk to will help. There will be no silver bullet for mental disorders, even inpatients without the complication of the sharingan. All we are trying to do is get just a bit more control of the situation. In the end, it will be up to Sasuke to find himself out of the emotional hole he has dug."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "This doesn't sound very scientific. But I'll talk to Sasuke. See what he thinks about all this."

Tsunade shrugged. "Just remember. If he gets any more out of control, we will have to imprison him. He can't choose to just do nothing and continue on this downward spiral. He is simply too dangerous to be left alone."

Naruto sighed and nodded.

"Oh, and Baa-chan... you can tell Kakashi that the next time he wants to know what is happening, he can just stay in the room like a normal person. I could sense his chakra since I walked in here."

With that Naruto left. Kakashi appeared in a poof of mist. "Well, he's definitely gotten better at being able to sense me," the silver-haired man said, smirking beneath his mask.

Tsunade looked at him for a minute. "Have you been monitoring the Uchiha?"

"As much as I can, but I can't get close. I can tell you that he activated his chakra, probably his sharingan, last night when Naruto was there. But there were no attacks. After Naruto left, Sasuke slept longer than he has since he returned to the village. It's baby steps, but it's a good sign."

Tsunade nodded. Then sighed as she saw the mountain of paperwork waiting for her on her desk.

"Shizune! I need sake!" she bellowed.

Kakashi simply pulled his little orange book from his pocket and puffed away for some privacy.

Everyone had their vices.

-xXx-

Naruto made his way through the village. He didn't really know how to feel about this. Part of him reveled in the fact that Sasuke appeared to finally need him, even if the bastard hadn't admitted it yet. Tsunade had tried to send other people. Normal, more qualified people. And they had all failed. But - at least so far - Naruto hadn't failed. That had to mean something, didn't it?

Lost in thought, Naruto didn't hear his name being called until he felt a strong hand fall on his shoulder.

"Naruto!"

He snapped his head up to see a familiar pair of green eyes, with slightly singed pink hair. Sakura's left arm was still in a sling, but other than that she seemed fine.

"Hey, Sakura-chan. I heard about what happened. Are you alright?"

To his surprise, she blushed. "Yeah. I'm fine. I guess I got... a little carried away."

Naruto _really_ wanted to ask what she had done, but her embarrassed expression made him back off. He knew her feelings for Sasuke made her do dumb things. In that one way, at least, perhaps they were similar.

"I just wanted to say that... I hope you are able to help him. I realized that I just... I will never be able to reach him. I just don't really understand him. But I think maybe you do. Just be careful." With that, she gave him a slightly awkward hug (due to her arm being in a sling).

"Thanks," Naruto said, scratching his head somewhat awkwardly. It felt like Sakura was giving him her blessing for something, but that was silly, because all he was doing was trying to implement a treatment that Tsunade had ordered. "Well, I need to get going. Tsunade gave me instructions for what try next so..."

For some reason, Sakura's blush intensified. She didn't meet his gaze but just nodded her head. "Ok, well... keep me posted on how things... go."

She turned and walked briskly away, her face burning. _I will never understand what makes girls blush,_ Naruto decided. But he didn't have the mental energy to spend on that today. He turned his feet toward the Uchiha Clan grounds.

. . . . .

When he reached Sasuke's house, he found the door locked. Naruto knocked. "Bastard. You home?"

"No," came the sarcastic but somehow amused reply.

"Ok, well, since you're not home, can I come in and rob you?" Naruto said, his mood lifting at the hint of amusement he had heard in the smooth voice. It had been years since he had heard Sasuke say something that sounded like a joke. Even a single-syllable one.

"If you can get in without blowing yourself up, be my guest," Sasuke's rich, disembodied voice floated out. There was something about his voice that seemed a little strange to Naruto. It carried none of the tension and anger that he was used to hearing.

Taking Sasuke's warning at face value, Naruto scanned the door and front window for traps and quickly disabled them. Not wanting to break the lock on Sasuke's front door, Naruto instead just shoved the window open and climbed in.

"If you're going to let me in, you might as well give me a key so I don't have to break your lock or climb in a window when you can't be bothered to get your lazy ass up off the floor," Naruto grumbled, looking at Sasuke lounging on a futon on the floor of his living room, surrounded by a series of cushions.

Naruto was relieved to see no sign of the sake bottles... no scent of alcohol. There was a faint trace of a heavy, sweet scent that Naruto didn't recognize, but assumed to be some sort of incense.

Naruto looked at Sasuke's face and felt... almost shock. Sasuke was reclined back on a folded futon with red and black cushions. His shirt was unzipped midway down his chest, and a light sheen of sweat glistened on his skin. Sasuke's face was relaxed, open, almost... happy-looking. Naruto had never seen Sasuke look this unguarded, even in their youth.

"Are you... you look really happy today," Naruto said cautiously, not really sure what else to say. Or what to make of the mood Sasuke seemed to be in.

Sasuke smiled a slow, lopsided grin that caused Naruto's stomach to do a slow flip.

"I feel _really_ good right now," Sasuke said, letting his head fall back and his eyes drift closed.

Naruto felt his hands break out in a sweat at the sight. Sasuke looked... erotic.

Naruto swallowed, feeling heat pool into his groin at the sight. _Oh, no. No, no, no, no... I can NOT be feeling this way about him. Not him. Not this._

In the recesses of his mind, he though he heard a familiar mocking chuckle from Kurama, but Naruto wasn't sure if it was just his imagination or if the wild spike of what Naruto was quite sure was lust had caused the ancient being to stir.

"Are you... were you drinking this morning?" Naruto asked, trying to make some sort of sense of what was going on.

Sasuke's eyes opened, and his gaze latched on Naruto. "You look nervous, Dobe." There was a lazy, mocking tone to Sasuke's voice that did nothing to reduce the heat Naruto felt. But something was off about Sasuke. He didn't look drunk like last night but he seemed... different.

"Answer the question, Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice taking on an edge. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and was used to giving commands.

"Nope. I haven't had anything to drink since you stripped me and put me in the tub," Sasuke said.

 _'Nope'? Did Sasuke just say 'nope'? Sasuke never says 'nope'._ Naruto licked his lips in nervousness. Sasuke's eyes followed the motion.

"So you came back again," Sasuke said, his eyes still focused on Naruto's mouth.

"Um... yeah. Tsunade -" Naruto paused as he saw Sasuke frown. "- Tsunade had some ideas of how I could... help you..."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his face lost some of the softness that had been there before. "I don't need your help, Dobe."

"I... Sasuke, she said that if you don't stabilize yourself, you're going to end up in prison. They can't handle someone like you in the hospital. We need to at least try this," Naruto said, flailing his hands slightly as though that could explain what he was trying to talk about.

Rather than being annoyed as Naruto had expected, Sasuke snickered a little. "You look so funny when you wave your arms like that. Like you're still twelve or something."

Naruto couldn't decide if he should be angry at what Sasuke said, or freaked out at how completely different Sasuke was acting compared to the previous night.

"Why are you still just standing there. Come, sit down if you have to talk at me. It's giving me a neck-ache looking up at you," Sasuke said, shifting his legs to make space for Naruto on the futon. Naruto looked at the empty futon on the other side of the room, but decided to take Sasuke's invitation to sit next to him, as unexpected as that was. If Naruto was supposed to actually touch him, it would be easier to do if he wasn't sitting across the room.

Once Naruto sat, Sasuke lounged back again, his knee brushing against Naruto's sending another series of electric-like shocks through the blond's nervous system. This time Naruto was not able to try to fool himself by thinking it had anything at all to do with chidori. Naruto tried hard to ignore the way Sasuke seemed to be so comfortable, almost _inviting_ the physical contact. After all, wasn't that the whole point of this?

Up close, he could smell the residual scent of Sasuke's sandalwood soap, as well as the slight undertone of his sweat. Somehow the combination of the two made it hard to concentrate.

"So what is this great plan that Tsunade has forced you into," Sasuke asked, his eyes half-lidded, almost sleepy looking, but the dark gaze still penetrating as he looked at Naruto.

"She's not..." Naruto felt his nervousness kick back in under the gaze. "She's not forcing me. I want to help you."

Sasuke closed his eyes and laughed softly, his voice dripping scorn. "Aren't you the good little boy? Always wanting to _save_ everyone. Always trying to _help_ everyone. It's just one more way you can show us all how much fucking _better_ you are than everyone else, isn't it Naruto?"

"You know what? Fuck you, Sasuke. Just fuck you!" Naruto stood abruptly, and felt himself snap.

"If anyone thought they were better than everyone else, it's always been you. You fucking _asshole._ You just _had_ to try to take on your stupid plan of revenge on your own. Kakashi, Sakura and I were just dead weight to you. No one in the village was fucking _good enough_ to train the precious last Uchiha. So you went off to live with some totally psycho pedophile who probably jacked off while thinking about you every night and you thought it was all just fucking _perfect_ to live in some shitty cave with snakes and fucking _Kabuto,_ don't even get me started with everything that is wrong with _that_ guy. Then finally, _finally_ you kill the snake bastard, and instead of coming back home and asking for help or even just coming home to help _us_ because fucking _Pein_ was leveling Konoha to the _ground_ , you just went off and found some complete _strangers_ to be your new team instead. Because evidently, even random, Snake lackeys were somehow more trustworthy and more valuable in your mind than Sakura or Kakashi or _me_. We still weren't good enough. I took out all five Peins, which even _Jiraya_ couldn't do, and I still wasn't fucking _good enough_ for you to even _ask_ to be on your stupid fucking kill Itachi team? Fuck you. Asuma died, Jiraya died, even Kakashi died for a while, and you were nowhere to help. You didn't give two shits about us. You'll ask for anyone's help but mine. Fuck, you even raised _Orochimaru_ from the _dead_ to help you rather than ask me. I was good enough for Itachi to ask for my help. But not you. Nevermind that you'd known me a hundred times better, and that I saved your ass twice in battles you were losing. What the _fuck,_ Sasuke? Why am I never good enough for you!"

Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes.

"Are you just about done?"

Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment.

"Then get the fuck out of my house."

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	4. Realizaton

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy)** language, angst, mental illness, drug use, thoughts of suicide.

 **Author's note** \- Oh, god. I just read Chapter 698 and I am just... soo... happy... I can't... I am feeling sweetness (very rare for me). But it won't be in this chapter yet, because of how I started the story. BUT, my goal is now for some Sasuke and Naruto sweetness at some point to happen. Because Kishi is my hero again.

-xXx-

_Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes._

_"Are you just about done?"_

_Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment._

_"Then get the fuck out of my house."_

Sasuke didn't need to open his eyes to feel the heavy tension in the air. His lips twitched up at the corners as he imagined the outburst that he was sure would come and a thrum of what could only be described as anticipation surged through him.

It was the most alive he'd felt in months.

Three months, to be exact. Since he had last faced Naruto in battle.

The silence stretched.

Sasuke opened his eyes as he heard his front door slam shut. The sound seemed to echo hollowly through his empty house.

He lay there, unmoving, waiting to see if the blond would turn around and come back to finish their fight the way they always used to... through hand-to-hand combat. But Sasuke could feel Naruto's chakra moving away from his home. Without hesitation. Without turning back.

All the life he had felt surge through him at Naruto's presence seemed to drain away again, leaving him hollow and empty.

He had expected Naruto to attack him like he used to when they were kids and Sasuke would say something to piss Naruto off. But the shinobi who would be the next Hokage had evidently learned some restraint in the years Sasuke had been gone.

He didn't understand why he felt... _disappointed_ that Naruto had been able to restrain his temper. It implied that the blond had grown up some, which Sasuke supposed shouldn't be surprising given the events of the past several years. But somehow, it annoyed Sasuke. Naruto was not supposed to change. Naruto was supposed to be the one thing that remained constant in Sasuke's world. Naruto was not supposed to do something like grow up and learn restraint.

But even worse was the possibility that Naruto simply didn't care enough about Sasuke anymore to make it worth fighting about.

A strange feeling of emptiness washed over him, and Sasuke closed his eyes against it. Had it finally happened? Sasuke had always wondered at what point Naruto would give up on him. Naruto's steadfast belief in him had defied all logic. Why had Naruto stood by him when everyone else had turned away? Sasuke had never understood it. He knew better than anyone that he had never deserved the loyalty of the only person he had ever considered his friend.

He had done nothing to preserve it, and many things to try to shatter it. It was the final string that held Sasuke here. Had he finally severed it?

Sasuke felt annoyed that the drug was starting to wear off, making it harder to ignore his thoughts. He had been riding his high, lost in its artificial bliss until Naruto had shown up and broken the bubble. He knew he had established a rule for himself that he only would use the opium once every other day. But this one didn't really count, because it had been interrupted. Maybe… Sasuke glanced towards the kitchen where the jar sat innocently on his countertop. It wouldn't really be breaking the rule, since he allowed himself one _complete_ use of the drug, and this use had not really been _complete_.

He raked his fingers through his hair, slowly getting to his feet and walking over to the kitchen. He pulled out the silver plate and stared at it for a few moments.

Naruto's words rang in Sasuke's ears. He didn't want to talk about those things. About his decision to leave. His time with Orochimaru. His absence during the battle with Pein. Naruto's relationship with Itachi.

He didn't want to _think_ about those things. Sasuke's hand fisted on the counter.

Naruto accused Sasuke of not thinking anyone had been good enough in the village to train him. He wasn't wrong. Orochimaru had attacked the village and killed the Third Hokage, who was supposed to have been the strongest ninja in the village. Itachi had come and dropped Kakashi to the ground in less than a minute.

If Naruto didn't realize that Sasuke hadn't had a choice, then he wasn't going to bother to explain it to him. No one in the village had been strong enough.

Especially not Sasuke.

So he had gone to Orochimaru, who had already proven himself stronger than the Hokage and wouldn't shy away from taking unconventional paths to building power in others. It had been Sasuke's only choice at the time if he was going to have any chance of becoming strong enough fast enough. And the speed at which Sasuke gained his strength had become critical. When Itachi had nearly taken Naruto, Sasuke had realized he could not wait until he grew up to take Itachi on. Not unless he wanted to lose the few remaining things that mattered to him. He could not just stand there and watch it happen again. He wouldn't survive it.

So he had left.

And then he had managed to kill Orochimaru, but he had known even at the time that Itachi was stronger than Orochimaru. It was why Orochimaru had given up on trying to take Itachi's body and focused on Sasuke's instead. Defeating Orochimaru was no guarantee that Sasuke would be able to take down Itachi. How could Naruto have realistically expected Sasuke to come back and put them all at risk AGAIN by involving them in his search for Itachi when he didn't know if he was strong enough yet? The original reason Sasuke had left still stood. He was not going to watch Itachi kill the few people left that Sasuke cared about. And he definitely was not going to be the one who put them at risk in the first place by dragging them directly into Itachi's path in Sasuke's quest for revenge. Not to mention it would basically _hand_ the Akatsuki the nine tails. No. That went against everything that Sasuke had been trying to accomplish.

Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo had been under Orochimaru's control. Sasuke had freed them, putting them in his debt. And he knew they would obey him when he said he wanted to face Itachi alone, where Naruto definitely would not. If Sasuke had failed to be sufficiently strong when the time came to face Itachi, the only one who would have died was him.

If he had sought Naruto's help, and Naruto had accompanied him, then failure on Sasuke's part would cost them both their lives.

It had panicked Sasuke when Naruto kept chasing him. Following him everywhere. What if Naruto followed Sasuke to Itachi, and Itachi killed him? Why couldn't that idiot realize that Sasuke had to do this alone? Naruto so reckless… throwing himself in the path of every danger that he came across. Sasuke had done everything he could to drive Naruto away from him, and break their bond to prevent that from happening.

Of course, Sasuke admitted now that Naruto had become much stronger than he had realized. When he had last seen the blond at Orochimaru's compound, Naruto had been weakened from his battle with Orochimaru earlier. He had not seemed very strong at the time, and Sasuke had viewed this as validation in a sense of his own decision to leave the village and become stronger under Orochimaru. Naruto had stayed behind, and his progresses had seemed to slow compared to Sasuke's own.

He now knew that he had been mistaken on that count. He remembered the shock he had felt the first time he had seen Naruto use the Kyuubi's full power in battle. And when his childhood rival had been able to combine that with his sage power, surpassing even Jiraya and rivaling Hashirama…

It bothered Sasuke, in a way, that Naruto had become so strong. Stronger even that Sasuke, but without having to walk away from everything to do so.

Sasuke had given up everything, had isolated himself, and lived with monsters to force himself to become stronger. It had been lonely. Frightening. Painful. But he had thought it was the only way.

But Naruto had become strong without ever leaving the protection of the village. He had travelled with Jiraya, but with the village's blessing. Naruto had had to give up nothing, and still managed to become Sasuke's equal.

Part of Sasuke had been bitter at that realization. But part of him had also known that his decision to leave, his decision to train ruthlessly under Orochimaru, had pushed not only himself, but also his childhood rival.

Because Naruto hadn't been training to surpass Kakashi. He had been training to surpass Sasuke. And they both knew it. They both felt it.

Maybe Sasuke's leaving had been the right decision after all. It had propelled them both farther, faster than what they ever could have achieved if they he had stayed and they had continued training under Kakashi.

But it didn't mean Sasuke had no regrets. It didn't mean he felt no bitterness now that it was over.

Sasuke's stomach tightened at the remembered anguish in Naruto's voice as he'd vented just before he had left. Sasuke had known that Naruto had taken his leaving the village as a rejection of his friendship. Of their bond. And he had allowed Naruto to think that, hoping it would keep Naruto from following him in his pursuit of Itachi.

Naruto had always felt inferior to everyone, especially to Sasuke. Despite the fact that Naruto was already stronger than Sasuke when Sasuke had left, Naruto didn't see it. Because Sasuke had not acknowledged it.

So of course he would take Sasuke's actions that way. But the point was, Naruto was at least alive and _able_ to still feel things, even if what he was feeling toward Sasuke was anger and hurt. It was better than just being dead. And Sasuke knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that Naruto would have been dead if Sasuke had stayed in the village. And Naruto would never have pushed himself to become as strong as he was now.

It had been the right choice.

Sasuke's hand rested on the lid of the jar with the sticky black paste. He slowly turned the lid, deciding he was tired of thinking so much today.

He understood completely how Itachi had felt with the choices he had made. All of them, including the choice to die.

Itachi had been dying anyway, from whatever illness he had. Though Sasuke suspected that even if there had been a treatment for Itachi's illness, his brother would not have sought it out. But it wasn't to avoid a lingering, painful death that had caused Itachi to allow Sasuke to kill him. Looking back on the battle, it was clear that Itachi had done exactly that... _allowed_ Sasuke to kill him. Itachi had only wanted to be sure he damaged Sasuke enough to draw out Orochimaru from the curse mark and kill Orochimaru's essence. But he had been careful not to kill Sasuke, even though he could have at the end.

And Sasuke understood finally what Itachi had really wanted. He wanted his suffering to end. He wanted to finally be freed of the unbearably heavy press of the terrible memories and choices he had to live with. Freed from the miserable life he had been allotted, forced to commit acts that went against the very core of his nature, killing people he held dear, exiled from everyone else who mattered to him. Laden with the horrible memory of killing their parents and kin, and torturing his little brother and bearing Sasuke's hatred, when all he really had wanted to do was protect him and the village. Quite simply, Itachi had wanted to die.

He had entrusted Sasuke with the taking of his life, to bring at least one final moment of closeness with him, and prevent any further cycle of revenge. And now it was Sasuke who was left with the burden. Sasuke had hoped at the very end the final battle with Naruto might bring a similar closure for himself, but it hadn't worked out that way. Naruto had not killed him. Why did Sasuke need to be stronger than Itachi and continue living? What did it even matter now, when he had no purpose, nothing left to achieve? And now, finally, no bonds to sustain him?

Sasuke was about to lift the lid of the jar when he felt an intense, angry flare of the familiar signature of Naruto's chakra. It was coming from one of the sparring fields near Sasuke's home.

Evidently the blond shinobi wasn't as good at controlling his temper as he had been pretending. He hadn't been complacent with Sasuke's response to him at all. Sasuke felt almost relief wash over him. He tightened the cap back on the jar, leaving it untouched on his counter.

Sasuke didn't know if he was technically allowed on the training fields as he was now officially classified as a civilian, but he decided he didn't care. Considering all the rules he had broken in the village in his past, this minor infraction wouldn't even register on the scales.

-xXX-

Naruto sat on the training field, his head in his hands.

He had walked there immediately after leaving Sasuke's home, knowing that he was too angry to risk running into anyone right then.

He wove the hand signs and three shadow clones appeared. Naruto's emotions were too churned up to allow him to go into sage mode, so he simply flooded himself with chakra and released rasengan after rasengan into the hapless forest. It did nothing to sate his need for physical fighting, though, so he created more clones and fought hand-to-hand, letting his anger and frustration vent with every punch and kick that he landed.

No one could make him as _angry_ as Sasuke could. Naruto wanted to scream and rage and take the forest out in his frustration. He had been an inch away from attacking Sasuke in his home, despite being sent there to heal him, not attack him. The way the arrogant bastard had just _lay_ there and didn't even bother to fucking _look_ at him. Why could Sasuke never just _look_ at him? Why did Sasuke never _see_ him?

Naruto stood panting after the last clone was dispatched. The physical release left him feeling drained, but not better.

As his anger had started to ebb, he felt it shift slowly to anguish and something more akin to longing. Before Sasuke had left the village, he had at least looked at him. Naruto had mattered, if only a little. But he had mattered, though Sasuke even as a child had not let his guard down enough to really let Naruto in.

Naruto thought again of how Sasuke had looked reclining on his futon, his toned chest mostly bared and the cords in his pale neck visible as he had tilted his head back. Sasuke's perfect face, so cold and hard. But somehow - today- it had not been that hard. And it had set off a longing in Naruto, wanting to touch that softer side somehow. Wanting it to be because of him that Sasuke had somehow finally seemed less cold.

But it wasn't, of course. Whatever it was that Sasuke had been thinking of that had relaxed him before Naruto got there clearly had nothing to do with Naruto.

Sasuke didn't give a fuck. Naruto probably didn't even register on his radar as anything other than the ninja who had finally brought him down. But nothing more. Nothing like what Naruto felt for Sasuke.

Naruto sat down dejectedly on the stump of a fallen tree, remembering his own reaction to seeing Sasuke today after their exchange this morning. He laughed hollowly.

Because he finally knew. He finally _knew_ the real reason he had been chasing after Sasuke all these years. And everyone who had ever called Naruto an idiot had been absolutely fucking _right._

Naruto was in love with Sasuke.

Not the brotherly kind of love. Oh, no. Naruto could no longer fool himself into thinking that was what he felt for Sasuke. No. He had to go and feel the: 'my soul is being devoured by yours' kind of love. The 'I want to get naked with you on in the shower, the bedroom, the kitchen, the training field' kind of love.

And it was almost funny, because while Naruto was going through this major self-revelation of something he was now pretty sure had started when he was twelve, Sasuke was probably napping on his damn futon, as unaware of Naruto as ever.

And why should Naruto have expected differently? Sasuke had never, ever made it seem like they were anything other than reluctant teammates and later, unequal rivals.

Naruto drew a shuddering breath as he thought back. That actually wasn't entirely true. Sasuke had... shown... some... caring. Not a lot. Nothing overt. As teammates, they had both fought and nearly died to protect each other. But they had also done that for Sakura and Kakashi. That was part of being teammates in a world where you faced death frequently.

But there had been times when Sasuke had known Naruto was frustrated with his own failings or hurt by the callous treatment of others, and Sasuke had prodded him along. Harshly, but still. He had cared enough to do it. And that was something Sasuke _hadn't_ done for Sakura. Or anyone else that Naruto had ever seen.

And in their first Valley of the End battle... Naruto had been unconscious at the end. Sasuke had won, and could have killed him. Sasuke might call it a whim, but Naruto knew it was more than that. He remembered what they had said while they fought and the anguish that had shown on Sasuke's face during the battle. Sasuke liked to pretend it had been all cold and calculated, but Naruto knew better. They both did. Naruto was apparently the only one who would actually admit it, though.

But it didn't matter what had happened in the past. Sasuke seemed to feel nothing now.

And Naruto needed to figure out what to do with his own feelings, now that he had finally recognized them for what they were. How he could have mistaken them for anything else was, in retrospect, a little baffling. He had been so single-mindedly focused on Sasuke for so long. What other explanation could there possibly be?

He had kept telling himself he had been in love with Sakura, but when she had come and basically offered herself to him, all he had felt was disappointment and mild revulsion. She was supposed to love Sasuke. Not Naruto. And when she had hugged him, a wave of anger had washed over him. Not lust. _How dare she betray their teammate? How dare she give up on Sasuke?_

Naruto realized that it had been convenient to 'love' Sakura. Most of the boys in the academy had a crush on her, so Naruto had just followed along. It was part of his goal of becoming accepted by the village and fitting in, finally. If he could get the attention of the most popular girl, then wouldn't that mean he had partially achieved that? And if that girl had to choose between him and Sasuke, then that would have meant Naruto would have won at something over his rival.

And somehow that last point had been the point that had really driven him in his pursuit of Sakura, if he were brutally honest with himself. It wasn't something he was proud of. But he had wanted Sakura to want him, because then it would mean he was better than Sasuke in some way. But when it had actually seemed to _happen_ , all he had felt was anger. Not attraction, nor victory.

Because in reality, he had no desire to be with Sakura.

It had always been Sasuke.

Naruto didn't know if he felt better or worse with the knowledge. It certainly explained things. Like how he never seriously pursued a girl or anyone else other than Sasuke.

But it somehow made his whole effort to bring Sasuke back to the village feel less noble. Because he knew now that he had in fact _not_ been trying to bring Sasuke back based on some altruistic notion of returning a damaged child of the village to his home, or even more specifically taking care of a teammate who had strayed.

No.

Naruto had wanted to bring Sasuke back to _him_. Because he... _wanted_ Sasuke. Naruto felt the truth of those words resonate through his core. Yes. He wanted Sasuke. He wanted him in every sense of that word. He wanted his attention. His respect. His friendship. His trust. His body. His soul.

All of it.

Every last facet that was Sasuke, Naruto wanted it for himself. With an intensity that was actually a little bit frightening.

The idea of possessing Sasuke flooded through him, giving him a heady rush.

Naruto tamped down viciously on his emotions. He had to get control of himself. Just because Naruto had finally realized that he wanted Sasuke did not mean that Sasuke would ever want him back. In fact, everything that Naruto knew about Sasuke would indicate that the man was completely antisocial and asexual. Sasuke just didn't seem to need or want anyone at all on any level, except maybe Itachi. Any companionship he had sought beyond that in the past was only what was required out of necessity as a ninja.

 _But Sasuke needs you now_. Naruto drew back from the thought as though burned. There was something seductive and... wrong... about feeling this way towards Sasuke when he was so broken and... Naruto would have used the word 'vulnerable', but somehow that just didn't fit with Sasuke. But still, Naruto would have to be careful to not take advantage of the situation. Whatever he had done in the past, he could honestly say he had thought at the time he was doing it for noble reasons. Now that he understood his true motivation, however, he would have to tread more carefully. He was no longer a child.

He thought briefly about telling Tsunade and asking to be removed from the assignment, but he knew that they would never have come to him if it hadn't been the last resort. In order to help Sasuke, Naruto wasn't being sent on missions unless absolutely necessary, which cost the village money. And Naruto was probably the last person Tsunade would call in a medical situation, being more of a bull in a china shop most of the time with stuff like that.

No, this was clearly the only option Tsunade had been able to come up with, and Naruto wouldn't let Sasuke lose it and end up in jail just because Naruto couldn't handle his emotions. Whatever Naruto felt, it didn't change the reality of their relationship nor what his purpose was in spending time with Sasuke at this point.

He needed to do what Tsunade asked him to do, and give Sasuke time to recover. If at some later point Sasuke became interested in dating someone... then... Naruto could get in line with everyone else and see if he could make the cut.

He had watch Sakura throw herself at Sasuke for years. He would not infringe on Sasuke's life in that way. Nor would he humiliate himself by being purposely dense about Sasuke's need for companionship. It was bad enough Naruto had literally chased Sasuke all over the Fire Country for as many years as he had. He would be there for his friend in the way that Tsunade has asked him. But he would not push for more without some indication that Sasuke would welcome it.

Naruto stood as he took in the devastation he had wrought on the landscape of the training grounds.

And he sensed a familiar chakra approaching him, and his stomach clenched viciously in both anticipation and dread.

_Sasuke._

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	5. Spar

**Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy)** language, sparring, sexual thoughts, masturbation. 17+

 **Author's note** \- Sorry. I know the sex is taking a long time to come (for me, too!) but... I just... this is what they do. In my head. Thanks to Theehotnerd for chatting with me a bit about this scene and keeping me from giving up. I am sort of just... rolling around in emotions in this fic. Because the manga is messing with my head, since it didn't give me resolution on a few key emotional things like Itachi and other things, so... anyway, I'll stop talking now. The good news is that I now have a clearer idea of what I need this fic to deliver to me. So that means I am going to finish it for sure now. I think.

-xXx-

Naruto looked up as Sasuke entered the clearing. The mere sight of Sasuke - the way he moved, the way he looked - pulled viscerally at Naruto. It always had. But now it was colored by Naruto's new awareness of the true nature of his feelings. The awareness of the other's body took on a new purpose, a new meaning. Naruto forced back a shudder at the fleeting thought that they were alone in the wooded part of the training field.

Naruto tamped the seductive thought down, knowing it served no purpose. And was potentially dangerous, should they be detected by the man looking at him with amused black eyes. After all, Sasuke had beheaded the last man to make overt sexual advances toward him. And though he had chosen to revive him later, it wasn't exactly encouragement for anyone else to casually give it a try.

Sasuke stood with his legs slightly apart, surveying the wreckage Naruto had unleashed on the training grounds. He was dressed in his usual garb, dark blue pants and loose white shirt tied with his purple obi. All clean, thanks to Naruto. He smirked at the tangible evidence that Naruto was not a controlled as he had tried to appear at his house.

"Here I thought you had become all grown up," Sasuke said, not bothering to hide the fact that he was pleased by the evidence that this was not true. The idea of a coolly controlled Naruto had not sat well with him.

He noticed that Naruto's gaze on him seemed unusually intense. Sasuke was used to the way that those blue eyes always followed him wherever he went, starting from the very first day they had met as children. But now, there was something darker in the gaze that hadn't been there before.

Naruto blinked and his eyes cleared, but the residual feel of that look had set Sasuke's blood thrumming in anticipation. He had come to spar, and Naruto seemed already primed for it.

"I just needed to blow off some steam," Naruto's voice sounded forcedly nonchalant. "My immunity to asshole has weakened since you've been gone from the village for so long."

Sasuke smirked, feeling a surge of pleasure at the knowledge that he was responsible for making Naruto's composure crack. This was what he had come here for. The familiar feel and rhythm of their taunting. The way Naruto's eyes were tracking his every movement. Somehow, the slight, lingering haziness from the opium made him feel the coil of power that much more acutely as he realized that time had not erased Naruto's fixation on him. Naruto might have won their last battle, but the blond still craved Sasuke's attention and recognition, just as he always had.

"The Hero of Konoha" still needed approval from the nuke nin that half the village despised. That knowledge flooded through Sasuke, making his blood heat and somehow pool low in his belly.

Sasuke didn't want to talk anymore. His body had been sedentary for too many weeks, and suddenly he felt like he had a nearly infinite amount of energy that needed to be burned off. He flexed his knees slightly into a ready stance, knowing Naruto would respond. "I'd be more than happy to help you with that," Sasuke said.

Naruto forced his mind back from where it had instantly gone when those words had left Sasuke's lips. He swallowed convulsively, mentally cursing Jiraya for giving him so much mental imagery to fuel his wayward thoughts.

Sasuke noticed the slight widening of Naruto's eyes at his words, and the way the blond's adams apple bobbed harshly in his throat. _Is_ _Naruto... nervous?_

'Nervous' had never been a response Naruto had exhibited when he had been challenged to spar, and Sasuke doubted it would be now. He narrowed his eyes, examining Naruto's body language more closely. _No. Not nervous. But definitely... tense_. Not sure what was going through Naruto's mind, Sasuke somewhat mockingly making the two-fingered seal of confrontation from their academy days, signaling his intent to spar.

Naruto snorted out a laugh, giving Sasuke a middle-fingered version of the sign before hesitating, then giving the proper one, a strange feeling of nostalgia washing through him for the children they had been.

"We can't use chakra, though. If you activate your Sharingan, Anbu will probably come. My guess is that at least Kakashi is keeping an eye on your chakra levels, just in case you go off on another drunken rampage on someone," Naruto was only half-joking. Sasuke was still on probation and not technically supposed to even be on the sparring fields. But that was irrelevant to the two shinobi. The pull was just too strong. Their friendship and rivalry had been born on the training fields.

At a certain level, it simply came down to the fact that they were ninjas. They _liked_ the feel of the fight that taijutsu provided. The adrenaline rush. The feel of pushing your body to its physical limit. The intimacy of the contact with your sparring partner.

This was how they had always communicated best. It was at the core of their bond.

Now, finally, they were here again on a field they had trained together as children. They were older now. Deadlier. But still, on some level, the same two children who had had only each other so many years ago.

They circled each other slowly, both savoring the feeling of anticipation of what was about to happen.

Sasuke's expression was one of almost boredom. Except for his eyes. They glinted with a level of anticipation that echoed Naruto's own. Naruto grinned.

And then Sasuke was in motion, his movement so fluid it could be called graceful if every action didn't carry the threat of death.

Naruto's body was already responding, blocking, and counter-attacking. He wondered, before a side-kick to his head required his attention, how many of Sasuke's opponents had simply been too mesmerized by the man's lethally fluid beauty to bother getting out of his way.

The world had narrowed down to the two of them as they faced off. The practiced precision of their movements making it seem almost like they were dancing, except when a tree branch would explode into splinters as one of them successfully dodged a blow from the other. Sasuke felt himself relaxing into the familiar feel of sparring with Naruto. It had been years since he had faced an opponent that he had truly been able to trust would not actually try to kill him at some point during the spar. Possibly more a statement of Sasuke's lack of ability to trust anyone than any real deception on their part, but true nonetheless.

But it was different with Naruto.

It had always been different with Naruto.

Sasuke's thoughts were disrupted as a kick from Naruto nearly swept his legs out from under him, forcing Sasuke to flip backwards out of the way. Naruto's eyes gleamed at the temporary retreat. If Sasuke were capable of it, he would have grinned, despite the fact that he had been forced to cede ground. He loved that Naruto could push him like this. He loved the total focus that was required for him to avoid getting slammed into the ground. He wondered what it would be like to spar with Naruto when he was in full tailed-beast mode. The thought of all that power facing off against him again sent another spike of heat through his body. It was almost worth trying to get Tsunade to accept him just for the chance to spar full out with Naruto again. As friends, rather than enemies.

Sasuke could almost hear the pulse in Naruto's throat as he closed distance. Without even seeing Naruto move, he could sense the circular block that was coming, knowing that a counter to his back would follow. No matter how much time had passed, this link never seemed to fade. Their ability to read each other's intent and actions. It had been surprising at how easily it had slid back into place during their battle together against Obito and the Ten Tails. The had fought instinctively as partners, just as they had years ago. Bfore Sasuke had left.

Sasuke was gratified to see that he still had a slight edge on Naruto in terms of speed as he shifted his attack mid-strike to block Naruto's. Their bodies were briefly locked flush together, and Sasuke saw Naruto's eyes dilate slightly as the blond drew another shuddering breath.

Taking it for the opening that it was, Sasuke rapidly straightened his arms, providing just enough space between them for him to step back and send a side trust kick directly towards Naruto's solar plexus.

Naruto's eyes snapped back to focus an instant before the blow hit, and he was able to fall back enough to make the strike simply wind him slightly rather than dropping him to the ground.

They didn't hold back or go easy on each other. The refusal to lose to each other still burned strong. Sasuke had ceded defeat the last time they had fought. He had no plans to do so today.

. . . . . .

Naruto bit back a curse as he felt Sasuke's foot connect with his stomach. Luckily, he had enough backward momentum going that it didn't do much damage. But it had made him retreat, meaning that they were now even again with sparring if one was keeping score. Which, of course, they were.

When Sasuke had countered his attack and put them into a temporary deadlock, Naruto had allowed himself to be distracted. Why had he never noticed before how the arch of Sasuke's neck right below the ear was so appealing? He had felt an almost uncontrollable urge to bring his face just the slightest bit forward and brush his cheek across that spot. The thought had just entered his head when Sasuke had shifted his stance and nearly drove a foot through Naruto's chest.

Sasuke was a lethal opponent and Naruto knew better than to lounge around daydreaming when they sparred, or Sasuke would hand him his ass. Naruto might have won the last time, but there was no guarantee he would win again today. He smirked slightly at the thought of what Tsunade would likely have to say about all this. He knew this was not exactly what she had in mind when she had sent Naruto to interact with Sasuke. But Naruto knew that - whatever their differences might be - Sasuke was like Naruto in at least this one thing. There was nothing that Sasuke or Naruto understood better than fighting.

Naruto felt the familiar, heady rush that sparring with Sasuke had always brought him. As a child, he had hungered for the Uchiha's attention. The only time he knew he truly held it had been when they sparred. The complete focus Sasuke had always given any form of battle ensured this, but somehow Naruto had always felt it was even more intense when it was the two of them. Their eyes locked on each other. Their bodies tuned to even the tiniest tensing of a limb of the other.

Jiraya had once told Naruto that sparring with someone who was your equal was just as intimate as sex.

Naruto felt that thought snake through his consciousness and threaten his focus again, but he blew out a breath and attacked instead, combining a leg sweep with a spinning back kick, just missing connecting with Sasuke's hip.

He reveled in the feel of Sasuke's eyes on him. Not burning with insanity or the desire to kill him. Not anymore. They held the look that Naruto had hungered for during those years after Sasuke had left the village. The arrogant, focused look that Sasuke would get when a match between them was going well, challenging him. Pushing him.

It had always been when Naruto thought Sasuke was the closest that the Uchiha could ever get to being actually happy.

It made Naruto's grin reappear to see that look on Sasuke's face again after so long. And oddly made his throat tighten as well. He had longed for this. Longed for Sasuke.

. . . .

The cry of a hawk caused Naruto and Sasuke to both look up out of habit, halting their spar. Tsunade was summoning Naruto.

Naruto frowned, seeing Sasuke's face shift instantly back from the slight pleasure that had been showing to the cold, emotionless mask he always wore. The slight flush on Sasuke's cheeks from their exertions would take longer to fade, but Naruto was bothered more than he was able to understand by the return of the mask. Naruto watched a bead of sweat trickle down Sasuke's throat into the hollow at the base of his neck.

He wrenched his gaze away, earning a coolly raised brow from his old teammate.

"I have to go," Naruto said pointlessly. Sasuke already knew this. It hadn't been so long that he'd forgotten the sign when someone was summoned.

Sasuke waited while Naruto grabbed the anbu vest he had removed when he had begun sparring with his clones earlier that day.

"I'll come by after I find out what she wants. I can... cook dinner or something?"

Sasuke shrugged, already turning back towards the village. "Whatever."

Sasuke did not look back as he made his way back to the Uchiha grounds.

Naruto watched him leave, too many emotions swirling around inside him to be able to express any of them.

The hawk cried again, and Naruto threw it a glare. "Alright! I'm coming, already."

-xXx-

Naruto arrived at Tsunade's office, feeling irritated. He felt as though she had interrupted something... important.

"Naruto," Tsunade said, her tone indicating that this had not been a frivolous summons. "I know I had told you that I did not want you taking on any more missions while you were working with Sasuke, but we received information today that must be acted on immediately."

She handed Naruto a scroll in Sai's precise handwriting that gave detailed information on a hideout that Danzo had used for only his top advisors. If anything were to contain detailed information about his role in Itachi's actions, it would be located here.

"I knew that you would want to be involved personally in any possible retrieval effort. Sai and his team will meet you at this location. If you leave now, you should be there by nightfall. You will be gone three days maximum."

Naruto slipped the paper into his pack. He hadn't spoken of Itachi to Sasuke. Of that fact that many of his missions since the end of the war had been to dig up the buried skeletons that the Council had tried to hide. Gaara was doing the same in Suna. The findings so far had been... beyond what even Sasuke likely had thought they had been capable of. Naruto would be Hokage. And he would make good on his promise to make sure that something like the Uchiha massacre could never happen again.

But the Council had had its teeth into many people, and there were very few people that Naruto or Tsunade would trust to collect documentation without altering or destroying it. It was ironic that Sai, who had originally been Root, was one of the few. But his word would be doubted by some, given his former affiliation, so Naruto knew that he would have to go. Kakashi had been sent on a mission just before Tsunade had received word from Sai, which left only Naruto. It was critical that no one else know anything about what they were trying to do. Too many people had a vested interest in letting old bones lie.

But of anything that Naruto could imagine could do something to heal Sasuke, clearing Itachi was the one thing that probably still mattered to him. The council had been killed before there could be any investigation or trial. Itachi's name was still not on the memorial stone.

It was small. It wouldn't undo the horrendous damage that had been done. But it was one thing that Naruto knew he needed to see done. For Sasuke. And for Itachi. Naruto would make at least this one small thing right.

Naruto nodded tersely to Tsunade, already listing out in his head the few things he would need to do and pack before he left.

-xXx-

Sasuke was seated at his kitchen table. He had returned from sparring feeling oddly revitalized. He had showered and changed, feeling almost... anticipation at the thought of Naruto coming to his house again.

He hadn't so much as glanced at the jar of sticky black paste that was sitting innocuously on his counter. In all honesty he had completely forgotten about it as he rummaged through his cupboards to see what he had that they could cook, ignoring the numerous bottles of sake that were also stored there. He felt no need for it tonight.

He could feel Naruto approaching his home and he looked expectantly toward the door. Naruto knocked and Sasuke leaned back against the kitchen counter, deciding the blond could determine on his own whether the door was trapped or not.

"It's unlocked," Sasuke said, purposely ambiguous about where or not there were additional barriers to entry.

There was a pause as Naruto likely checked for traps before the door was opened. Naruto was dressed in full anbu gear, his mask pushed up onto the top of his head, revealing his face.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto began, scratching the back of his head. "Uh... I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I won't be able to make dinner for you tonight. Something... came up, and I have a mission that can't be assigned to someone else."

Sasuke let none of the strange disappointment he felt show on his face. "You're going alone?"

Naruto hesitated, then shook his head. He supposed it was safe enough to at least tell Sasuke this much. "I'm meeting Sai and his team. I should be back within three days. Rain-check on dinner?"

Sasuke walked over to the counter where he had set and onion and some ginger out. He picked them up and returned them to the basket in the base of his pantry. "Don't you need to be going then?" His voice was inflectionless.

"Sasuke..." Naruto said, blowing out a breath. He could tell the man was... unhappy. "I have to do this."

"No one is disagreeing. You should get going."

Naruto looked at Sasuke's eyes, noticing that the energy that they had held when he first arrived was now gone. They appeared dead - like they had that first night that Naruto had come to Sasuke's home.

"Just... I'll be back soon, and I'll come here as soon as I get back."

Sasuke said nothing, and Naruto - knowing he had to hurry if he was going to meet up with Sai before anyone entered the hideout - sighed before sliding his mask in place and turning back towards the door.

. . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke turned back to the pantry, taking out one of the many sake bottles he kept there. He no longer felt like cooking.

He poured himself a glass of sake, swallowing it without even tasting it before pouring himself another. Experience had taught him that it would take at least six glasses before his mind was numb enough that he would stop thinking.

He wondered what Naruto's mission was. The war was over... shouldn't that mean there weren't dangerous missions anymore that required Naruto's skills?

Of course, Sasuke wasn't naïve enough to believe that war ever brought peace. It simply suppressed violence for a bit, until people had licked their wounds enough to try again.

And Sai. Sasuke swallowed his second glass. He really didn't like Sai, he thought, as he poured himself another glass. He didn't know exactly what it was about the guy that bugged him. Other than the fact that he was obviously Sasuke's replacement on Team 7.

He wondered if he had replaced Sasuke in Naruto's eyes or not.

Sasuke swallowed his third glass, leaning back in his chair now as the familiar buzz set in.

Naruto's eyes.

He wondered if Naruto's eyes followed Sai the way that they had always followed Sasuke.

Sasuke poured his fourth glass with more violence than was necessary, spilling some.

No, he really didn't like Sai.

If Sasuke hadn't left, _he_ would be the one that Naruto was going on the mission to meet.

Sasuke closed his eyes, knowing that the alcohol and the memories that sparring with Naruto on the old training grounds had dredged up were muddling his thoughts.

His pale, slender fingers turned the small, flat sake cup before picking it up and pouring its contents through his parted lips.

The anger that usually kept him from sleep was a stale, bitter anger against Danzo, the council, Madara, Itachi and Sasuke's own choices - things that he could no longer do anything about.

The anger he felt this evening about the thought of Naruto on a mission with Sai was sharp and fresh. Cleaner, somehow. And it didn't make him feel as impotent as the older angers.

Sasuke grabbed a fresh bottle of sake and took it to his living room stumbling once before settling back on his futon before pouring himself another glass. His sixth? No, his fifth. Two more to go before he would be able to drift.

He drank the glass, letting his mind go where it wanted. He already could feel the room spinning.

Sparring with Naruto had brought back so many memories he had tried to bury. Having someone he trusted to train with. The feeling of being pushed to his limits, having someone challenge him without trying to destroy him. Someone who would both make him stronger but also have his back if he faltered. It was that safety net that Sasuke had feared the most. Feared that having it would make him weak.

Would it have?

He didn't know.

But more than anything, he had forgotten how it felt to have Naruto's eyes follow him like that. Not because they were locked in a battle trying to kill each other.

Of course he'd pay attention then.

But it was different. When they sparred. Even before they sparred.

When Sasuke had first entered the clearing.

Naruto's eyes had been... so _blue_. So focused on Sasuke... on everything about him. Sasuke poured his sixth glass, missing part of the glass but still managing to fill it to the brim.

Sasuke remembered the look in Naruto's eyes when they had been locked together briefly during their spar. They had darkened, the pupils dilating. There was a dark intensity in Naruto's look that was... different... from the way he had looked at him before. And it had pulled at Sasuke differently.

Sasuke sipped from his glass, feeling the same heat in his lower stomach that he had felt when they had been sparring. He closed his eyes, remembering the heat of Naruto's body as they had been pressed against each other, the raw power of the blond's body that he was able to feel thrumming against his.

Without thinking, his hand slid down over the fabric of his trousers, closing around the erection that had formed there.

Sasuke set his glass down, only half finished as he watched the sight of his own fingers slowly pumping up and down his clothed erection.

He had masturbated before. He had already left the village when he'd had his first wet dream. It had been embarrassing and annoying. But there had been a wealth of medical books in Orochimaru's hideouts. Sasuke had quickly learned that wet dreams were simply the male body's way of getting rid of sperm that had built up before they degraded and became ineffective. As long as a male ejaculated weekly, wet dreams would be minimized or even nonexistent.

Sasuke had masturbated, not thinking of anything at all, simply one of his bodily functions that had to be attended to in order to avoid annoyingly sticky mornings and disturbing, shadowy dreams. It brought him only minimal pleasure, certainly not anything worth repeating with more frequency than was necessary.

But he had never gotten hard thinking about a specific person.

Sasuke leaned back, experimentally stroking his shaft while keeping the image of Naruto's face in his mind.

He felt his cock harden further, and a rush of heat spiked through his body unexpectedly.

" _Nnnngggggg,"_ he breathed out, gasping at the unfamiliar intensity of the pleasure. He untied the cloth around his waist and ties of his pants, then pulled out his cock.

This was completely different from the mechanical sessions he had done in the past.

Sasuke felt sweat break out on his upper lip as his body temperature rose. He lifted his hips and pushed his pants down to his knees, kicking them off, allowing complete access to his shaft. He spread his legs and leaned back, closing his eyes as his hand gripped his cock, the sensation even stronger now that the skin of his palm was sliding directly against dick.

He focused on the way Naruto's eyes had drifted to his throat, then locked back with his own gaze. His hand moved faster as he remembered the heat and scent of Naruto when they had been sparring, the way his muscles had moved beneath the tan skin that had been slickened with sweat.

He focused then on Naruto's mouth, the look of the pink lips, the way the moved when he laughed. Sasuke's dick was now dripping precum, the moisture slickening his hand. He imagined, instead, that the moisture came from Naruto's mouth, as Sasuke thrust into the open pink lips and...

" _Ahhnn, fuck!_ " Sasuke came, shooting ribbons of cum, his stomach muscles clenching and shuddering with the force of his orgasm.

He lay back, panting, his mind hazy from the alcohol and the aftermath of his climax.

After several minutes, Sasuke stretched over and grabbed a tissue from the small table by the futon.

_What the hell?_

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	6. Shower

xXx-

Naruto relaxed fractionally when the gates of Konoha came into view. He hadn't slept since he left the village. Tsunade had impressed upon him that the subversive reach of the council had been broad and deep, and there were many people who would not be happy to have their secrets brought to the light of day.

Naruto had been in sage mode the entire mission, both to be able to detect if there were a traitor in their midst and also to provide early warning if someone was approaching their location. Even with their chakra concealed, Naruto would be able to sense them coming as long as he was in sage mode.

Every trip he had made tracking down council business had been like this. He would return home and sleep for almost twenty-four hours, then be fine. But first he needed to deliver what he had found to Tsunade. Because _finally_ he had actually found something. All the other locations they had learned of they had arrived too late, finding the places gutted and everything burned. But this one… this one had been left intact. Naruto wasn't sure if it was because the only people who had known about it were dead, or if the location was viewed as well-guarded enough to be considered 'safe'. Naruto had met up with Sai and his team and had spent the first twenty-four hours removing tags, seals, and other traps that were meant to destroy the contents of the library and files if anyone tried to get in.

Danzo had been a paranoid bastard, but Sai was highly skilled and had paid attention during his years in Root. He knew exactly what to look for. There had only been one or two surprises that might have been nasty, but luckily there had been chakra-embedded in the seals and Naruto had been able to detect them in sage mode.

Sai and his team would spend the next week finishing up going through the materials, but Naruto had wanted to return immediately to show Tsunade what they had found so far. There was clear documentation that Danzo had given the order for the Uchiha Clan massacre. And the council had approved.

Itachi had been following orders, and there was no refuting that now.

Tsunade would have to act. She had given her word that if there were hard evidence found about what Danzo had done, Itachi would be cleared and his name added to the memorial stone. Especially after the help he gave during the war, releasing the Edo Tensei jutsu, the man deserved at least that much. In Naruto's mind, Itachi would have been cleared already had he been alive to request it. With Sasuke being on probation and regarded so hostilely by many of the village, Naruto knew it would fall to him to be the one to clear Itachi's name. And hopefully clear some of the anger directed at Sasuke as well. Because there was also no doubt that if the council had not given the order to have Sasuke's family massacred, Sasuke would never have turned into the criminal he had become. If Naruto could get the village to accept that Itachi had acted under the council's orders, then they would have to also accept that the blame for many of Sasuke's actions could also be laid at the council's feet.

Naruto nodded to Raidou and Genma at the gate, not stopping to chat like he otherwise might.

He was excited that he now held documents that would start that process in motion. But it was the other set of documents in Naruto's pack that were going to be the problem. The documents that were the first of many that Sai would come back with.

Documents that laid out who the council's main supporters were, and what other things they had done in the name of 'preserving peace'. If Tsunade had though the council's reach was broad before, she was in for a hell of a surprise when she realized just how deep it really was.

-xXx-

Sasuke lay naked and spent on his bed, tangled in dirty crimson sheets. The past couple of days were a bit of a blur for him. His discovery of his latent sexual desires had been almost overwhelming. The intensity with which those feelings had seared through him had left him almost weak.

For some reason, the lust he had felt was somehow fueled by the anger that had blossomed when he had learned that Naruto had gone on a mission with Sai.

The lust he was beginning to understand, but the anger was more concerning to him. Part of his anger he recognized was pride. The fact that Tsunade evidently still had S-rank missions that required the skills of two fairly high level Shinobi (not that Sai was in his or Naruto's league, but the pale boy did seem to have some skills with seals and things), but she still refused to even consider asking Sasuke for anything.

Not that he didn't understand her reasoning. He had been a traitor to the village for years, after all. But it still rankled.

But there was more to it than that.

Sasuke wasn't the best at introspection, but even he would acknowledge that a much larger part of his anger had been the way Naruto had spoken Sai's name, complete trust and respect coloring his voice.

Naruto liked going on missions with Sai.

Sasuke thought back to the missions that he and Naruto had gone on together as children. The intense bonding that had occurred through having each other's backs through life-and-death situations. The way one grows to know ones teammate through the hours spent travelling together. Eating together. Sleeping next to each other.

Sasuke's hand fisted at the thought.

Sleeping together at this age could entail different things than it had for him and Naruto when they were young. Sasuke had never had any interest in sex before. He had been too focused on trying to erase the nightmares from his mind that Itachi had implanted, and focusing on killing first Orochimaru then Itachi and finally Danzo while trying to avoid getting killed himself.

Nothing else had mattered to him.

But now…. Sasuke lay back against the pillows of his bed, and took another drink from the sake bottle that was on his nightstand. His thoughts were disrupted when he faintly registered a familiar chakra some distance away.

Naruto was back in the village.

He hoped Naruto was still a ninja of his word. He had promised he'd come to Sasuke's house as soon as he finished his mission.

-xXx-

Naruto felt nearly delirious with the need for sleep when he left Tsunade's office. Her eyes had widened, then hardened when she had read the contents of the documents he had brought her. He had taken the most damning ones, but he assured her that Sai and his team had others as well.

The documents were placed in the most heavily warded and guarded vault in Konoha. No one but a Hokage could open it.

She had given her word that she would begin the process of clearing Itachi now. It was made complicated by the fact that the people who were complicit with the council and Danzo would be made aware that they were at risk once Itachi's name was cleared. So Naruto had reluctantly agreed to wait until Sai and his team had cleared the last hideout before they would begin the process, to ensure that council allies didn't attack his team and try to prevent the rest of the evidence of their activities from being brought to light. Tsunade had said that - given the extent of the situation - they might even have to wait until key arrests were made, lest some of the guilty parties simply vanish before they could be apprehended. Most had the money and resources to do so.

Naruto had nodded wearily at that, hating it but understanding the reasons. He had gotten what he wanted, even if it would be delivered more slowly than he had hoped.

When he had asked if he could tell Sasuke, Tsunade had hesitated, but eventually said no. Sasuke was simply too unstable, and who knew what he might do or say about the matter if he lost control while drunk?

Naruto hadn't agreed. Had said nothing at all. Tsunade had noted the silence but didn't push. In the end, she would trust Naruto's judgement. He would be the next Hokage. And no one knew the Uchiha better than the man standing before her.

She had dismissed him, telling him to go home and sleep then report back the next morning to discuss the situation further.

Naruto was brought out of his thoughts when he reached the desolation of the Uchiha Clan grounds.

Before he could sleep, he had promised he'd go see Sasuke. It was eleven o'clock in the morning, but he had no idea if the nin would be up yet or not. It probably depended on whether or not he'd been drinking the night before. Naruto shifted uncomfortably at the thought.

Seeing Sasuke drunk was…

Naruto blew out a breath. He would not take advantage of the situation. Just because his feelings had changed about Sasuke, it did not give him the right to do anything about it when Sasuke was in that condition.

Naruto knocked on the door, but didn't hear a response. He checked but found no new tags or seals on the door, so he slowly opened it and went inside.

The kitchen looked fairly clean, but walking further into the house Naruto saw empty bottles of sake, and a misplaced jar of some sort of spice paste that Naruto didn't recognize in Sasuke's livingroom.

"Sasuke, you bastard! I'm not your fucking maid. Get your ass out here and help me clean up!"

Naruto heard a slight laugh coming from Sasuke's bedroom, but no sound of Sasuke actually coming out to help. Too tired to deal with cleaning up Sasuke's shit right now, Naruto headed into Sasuke's bedroom.

The scent of sex hit his senses like a ton of bricks. Naruto had always had a heightened sense of smell, though not as developed as the Inuzuka clan. Whether it was from the Kyuubi or simply a trait of his ancestors he wasn't sure. But at that moment he wished more than anything that he didn't know what Sasuke had evidently been doing while Naruto had been off clearing Itachi's name.

Though even without the scent, there was no mistaking the disheveled state Sasuke was in nor the telltale stains on his sheets. Naruto felt a bitter jealousy swirl through him. He closed his eyes and drew a breath, trying to hold back the mental images that the scent evoked in him. The empty sake bottles on his nightstand explained why Sasuke was simply lounging back against the pillows, his cheeks slightly flushed, and eyes amused and heavy lidded.

Naruto forced himself to not think about Sasuke drinking and fucking someone in those crimson sheets. And he tried not to wonder who it was. He dug his nails into his palms, knowing he had no right to be angry or jealous. Sasuke could have sex with whomever he wanted. There was no relationship between Naruto and Sasuke… there was barely a friendship. And Tsunade had hinted at one point that sex would actually be good for Sasuke, but he just didn't seem to be interested. Evidently that had now changed. Jealousy ate into Naruto at the thought.

The red bedsheet barely covered Sasuke's thighs and groin, but most of his torso and lower legs were bare, leaving Naruto with no misunderstanding that he was naked beneath the sheet.

"It stinks in here. Go wash yourself off. I'll clean the sheets." More than anything, Naruto just wanted to erase the presence of whomever had shared Sasuke's bed. He wanted to burn the sheets, not wash them.

Sasuke snickered and Naruto realized the man was still drunk. "I would have thought traveling with Jiraya for so long would have made you less of a prude, Dobe," Sasuke taunted.

Naruto felt an almost uncontrollable urge to grab Sasuke by the shoulders and shake him. Sasuke was supposed to be untouchable. The evidence that someone had been touching him seemed to burn Naruto's soul.

He turned and headed towards the bathroom before he did something he'd regret. "I'll get the shower going. Get your ass out of bed and into the shower, or so help me Sasuke I'll drag you there naked and throw you in. We're cleaning this room now."

Sasuke lay back, feeling the room pleasantly spinning. Naruto was really angry. Sasuke wasn't sure why, but it made him incredibly happy. He heard the sound of his shower being turned on.

Truth be told, he wouldn't mind a shower. Being covered in his own cum was not entirely pleasant. He stretched his arms over his head, pressing them against the wall and arching his back slightly to relieve the aches in his muscles.

He opened his eyes to find Naruto's hooded gaze fixed on him. There was that same dark look that Sasuke had noticed when they were sparring. He felt the same coil of anticipation swirl through him as he felt before battle. Beneath the sheets, he felt his groin stir.

The idea of fighting and fucking seemed to bring the same heat to his body and focus to his mind. Sasuke didn't let his mind linger on whether that thought should be disturbing.

He locked his gaze on Naruto, feeling an almost primal surge of heat at the intensity of the blue depths. Wanting to see more of Naruto's reaction, Sasuke casually pushed the sheet aside and stood, flaunting his nudity, his movements surprisingly fluid despite the spinning of the room.

He saw Naruto's eyes drop to his half-hardened cock. The slow blush that spread across Naruto's cheekbones seemed to drive an answering heat in his own blood. His brain, fogged by the alcohol, reveled in the anger and hunger that seared out of Naruto's eyes. Sasuke wanted more of it. .

It was the first thing that Sasuke had truly wanted in months. He saw no reason not to pursue it.

"Go wash off," Naruto said, ripping his gaze from Sasuke and turning back to the hallway.

Sasuke felt his lips twitch. He let his gaze slide down Naruto's back to his ass, covered in the dirty Anbu uniform.

He followed Naruto out, only weaving slightly. He didn't want Naruto to walk away yet. And he had always been able to find the right buttons to push on Naruto to make him engage. "Since when did you become Anbu? I didn't even know you'd made it past Genin."

As Sasuke had hoped, Naruto turned to look at him before quickly snapping his head back to look somewhere else. Sasuke walked into the bathroom and stepped into the running shower. He didn't bother pulling the shower curtain closed, not caring if some of the spray wet the tiled floor of his bathroom.

"Well?" Sasuke prodded tersely.

Naruto huffed, but walked into the bathroom just far enough for them to be able to talk. Sasuke hid his smirk by leaning forward slightly and letting the water pull his hair over his face.

"I only wear Anbu gear when I go on missions that require it. I'm not technically part of Anbu, but Baa-chan decided that my performance during the war pretty much surpassed any of the tests she would have had. I don't know what my official rank is. In a couple of years it won't matter anyway."

"Because you'll be Hokage," Sasuke supplied, reaching for the cake of soap and applying some liberally to the washcloth that Naruto had thoughtfully set out on the ledge of the shower area when he turned the water on for him. His head was still slightly spinning, but not enough that he would lose his balance. After all his years of training, he had found he was able to keep his balance unless he was literally passing out.

Sasuke set the soap down and began washing himself with the lathered cloth. The way Naruto's eyes followed the motion of the cloth over his neck and collarbone sent a spike of heat through him. Sasuke felt the room tilt slightly as the alcohol in his blood seemed to pulse with the heat from Naruto's eyes.

Sasuke leaned back into the corner of the shower stall, spreading his legs slightly to gain a stronger foothold as he let the washcloth slide over his pecs and abs, washing away the evidence of his first self-exploration of his sexuality.

As his hand slid lower, he realized that sex was definitely more intense as a two-person sport, even if one of them was just watching. Sasuke felt his shaft harden under Naruto's gaze. He took the washcloth, sliding it around his erection, not bothering to disguise the pumping motion of his hand.

Naruto jerked his gaze away, turning his back on Sasuke with a strangled noise. "The fuck, Teme! Don't do that shit in front of me. I know you've been living alone for a long time, but _shit_!"

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the shower wall, laughing slightly at the near panicked sound in Naruto's voice. The steam from the water was swirling through the bathroom, making his breath feel slightly labored.

Sasuke heard a small groan and realized it was from his own throat. He opened his eyes just enough to take in the rigid posture of his former teammate, the visual stimulus adding even more tension to his already aching cock.

He wanted more… somehow the cloth alone was not giving him what he needed.

"So who…" Naruto cut himself off, not able to actually ask the question of who Sasuke had finally allowed in his bed. Naruto decided he probably didn't really want to know. The sound of Sasuke's labored breathing was making Naruto start to lose his mind. He was so close. All Naruto would have to do was take two steps and he'd be able to...

 _Get out, get out, get out, get out_. The warning chanted in Naruto's brain. He couldn't withstand this. He was going to break any second and… he drew a breath. "You… finish up there. I'm going to go change your sheets."

"Ung, _Naruto_ ," Sasuke's voice was slightly hoarse. He let the washcloth fall to the floor of the shower with a wet sound, his bare hand continuing to work his erection.

Naruto's head had turned back to look at Sasuke when the man had said his name. Naruto never knew his dick could get instantly hard, but intense straining of his pants assured him that he had somehow managed it. And if he kept watching, he was pretty sure he was going to cum. The sight of Sasuke's hand on his engorged shaft, looking at him with heavy lidded eyes was by far the most erotic thing he had ever seen. And given the number of years that Naruto had spent traveling with Jiraya, that was really saying something.

Naruto stumbled backward, unable to turn his gaze away but knowing he had to stop himself from watching. If Sasuke were sober, none of this would be happening. Naruto quickly made a shadow clone to go and change the sheets while he turned to go to empty the living room of the empty sake bottles that had put Sasuke in this state to begin with.

"Wait…" Sasuke panted. "Stay…"

Naruto could hear the slight slurring of Sasuke's words, another reminder of exactly why he needed to get the fuck out of there.

" _Naruto_ …"

There was a pleading tone that he had never even imagined could come out of Sasuke's mouth and it froze Naruto in his tracks. He felt his body turning back to look even though his brain was screaming at him not to. Sasuke was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, head back and fisting his cock. The sight was like a punch in the gut to Naruto. His breath was expelled in a rush and his knees almost buckled under the crushing weight of desire that burned through his system.

Sasuke opened his eyes and his hooded gaze was locked on Naruto's, asking him to do something that Naruto knew he should not do.

He took a single step back into the bathroom, unable to stop himself.

"Sasuke," Naruto knew that his voice sounded almost like a whimper but he couldn't get control of his vocal cords. "You don't want this. You're just…"

Sasuke smirked, slowing the motion of his hand almost to a stop as he lifted his heavy dick up and ran his fingers lightly over the head. "I think it's more than clear that I do want this, Usuratonkachi. Isn't this what you came here to do in the first place?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"This is what Tsunade told you to do. That's what Sakura said when she tried it."

Naruto could barely hear the words that Sasuke was saying as he tracked the lazy movements of the pale hand over the angry, red cock. The sly voice in Naruto's head told him that Sasuke was right… this could absolutely be considered doing what Tsunade had said. As long as they didn't actually…

Naruto didn't realize that he had already closed the distance to the edge of the shower stall. Sasuke's hand flashed out and fisted into Naruto's hair, dragging him fully clothed into the hot stream of the shower, while Sasuke's other arm snaked around Naruto's waist, sliding their bodies fully flush.

The blatant aggression and flash of pain at Sasuke's roughness caused Naruto's brain to completely cease functioning. He slid his hands up over Sasuke's shoulders into his hair, crushing their mouths together. Neither of them had any experience kissing, except for their accidental kisses years ago. But they both had plenty of practice in aggression and coordinating their body movements, and it wasn't long before their tongues were thrusting against each other, tracing along the other's teeth, mouths sucking and biting.

Sasuke thrust his hips up against Naruto's, desperate to relieve the almost unbearable pressure that was building between his thighs.

"Sasuke, let me…" Naruto broke from their kiss, ignoring the sound of protest from Sasuke as he slid down the other's naked body and knelt, his face now directly in front of Sasuke's dripping cock.

At that moment, Naruto wanted to simply strip off his clothes and drive into Sasuke more than he had ever wanted anything before in his life. But he knew that he was not here for his own pleasure. Sasuke needed contact, and he needed release. And that was what Naruto would give him. He had read and seen the basic act of oral sex enough times to know that it would bring more pleasure than his hand would.

Ignoring the unpleasant sensation of his sodden clothes restricting his movements, Naruto wrapped his fingers over Sasuke's, enclosing Sasuke's shaft with their combined hands and slowing the frantic motion of the pale hand.

"Shhh…" Naruto said as Sasuke choked out another sound of need. Naruto twisted his hand around the base of Sasuke's cock as he brought his face forward and gently, almost lovingly, nuzzled the erection and drawing in a deep breath, memorizing Sasuke's unique scent, feeling it imprint on his brain in a way that was almost frightening.

" _Ngh_ ," Sasuke arched his hips forward, pressing his cock forcefully against Naruto's face.

Naruto wanted to unzip his own pants and release his painfully hard erection, but forced himself to only focus on Sasuke.

The shower had already wet their bodies, so Naruto had no problem pulling Sasuke's slickened erection into his mouth.

"Oh, god, _fuck_!" Sasuke groaned.

Naruto shuddered at the sound that was ripped from Sasuke's throat. Knowing that it was him who was driving Sasuke to lose control in a way Naruto had never imagined Sasuke even could.

Sasuke found himself panting and cursing at the unfamiliar sensation of someone else touching his shaft… and the knowledge that it was Naruto kneeling between his legs doing this to him. His earlier self-ministrations paled in comparison to what he was feeling now. He vaguely understood now what everyone was always talking about when they went on and on about getting a blow job, but any ability to think further was stripped away as Naruto started to suck.

Naruto drew on everything he'd ever read or been told as Jiraya's disciple. If he was going to do this, he would do it with all possible skill. Uzumaki Naruto never did things halfway. He worked the base of Sasuke's erection with his hand while he used his tongue to trace along the underside of the ridge of the head. The sharp hiss of breath from Sasuke when Naruto dipped his tongue into the slit at the tip made Naruto chuckle. The vibrations of the sound traveled up Sasuke's cock, making him thrust more forcefully into Naruto's mouth.

Naruto's hands quickly gripped Sasuke's hips as he tried to slow their motion, forcing his throat to relax and thanking his voracious eating habits for having dulled his gag reflex from years of downing ramen as fast as humanly possible.

Sasuke's whole body was shaking, pale hands now splayed out against the tile wall as though to keep himself from sliding down.

Remembering one of the things he had read that always seemed to be rather unbelievable as a pleasure source, Naruto removed one of his hands from Sasuke's hips. Sasuke's legs were helpfully braced wide, allowing Naruto to first take Sasuke's balls and roll them slightly before taking two of his fingers and sliding them further back, massaging first the sensitive area between his balls and his ass. He thought about continuing further back, but Sasuke's hands had shifted again, nearly pulling out Naruto's hair in their sudden vice grip.

" _Aghn_ , Naruto!" and Sasuke was cumming, leg's braced wide and head thrown back, his whole body arched in pleasure. Naruto choked slightly at the unexpected rush of Sasuke's seed into his throat, but he kept sucking and swallowing until the last tremor was finished. Sasuke's knees gave way and he slid to the floor of the shower, looking dazed..

Naruto looked down at where Sasuke lay panting, black eyes glazed with satiated lust. Naruto's hand shook, and it took every ounce of willpower that Naruto had to simply turn off the water and throw Sasuke a towel. And step back.

Sasuke lazily arched a brow at him. "You're still hard."

Of course Sasuke would notice. "Yeah. And you're still drunk. I haven't slept in three days. I'm going home to shower and sleep."

"You could do both of those things here."

Naruto wondered if Sasuke really had no idea of how much effort it was taking Naruto to hold himself back right now. His whole body was literally shaking with repressed need. "No. I really couldn't."

With that, Naruto turned, still dripping wet, and headed back to his apartment. He dispelled his clone and was glad to know that at least Sasuke would have clean sheets. There was no way he could go back there to finish cleaning up.

-xXx-

**to be continued…**

note: since there is some confusion on this, Naruto can smell sex (= scent of arousal and cum in the room) but he isn't like Kiba where he can identify an certain individual's scent. Like... normal people can smell sex but not know which two people were fucking. He just is more sensitive to the scent.


	7. Sober

-xXx-

Naruto stood in the freezing shower and tried to shut his brain off. He supposed he should consider himself lucky that he never caught colds, given that he had walked home soaking wet in the cool air and now was taking a cold shower on top of it. Unconsciously he flexed the fingers of his right hand, feeling them go slightly numb. Probably with cold.

The cold wasn't helping. Nothing was helping.

He couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened in Sasuke's shower. It wasn't like he'd never fantasized about someone before. Being the proofreader - and sometimes even ghostwriter - for Ero Senin's porn gave him ample knowledge of almost every sex act imaginable. Jiraya hadn't been a Sanin for nothing. Naruto knew just what to do with tongue and teeth and lips and hips to give proper appreciation to most parts of a human body. Just because he'd never actually _done_ any of it in reality didn't mean he wasn't well-versed in the theory. So of course he had fantasized about things, occasionally. He was a teenage boy.

A few times, he had thought of Sakura. But somehow those imaginings always ended abruptly with images of her punching him in the head and screeching at him, destroying any sort of sexual arousal about the whole scenario.

But it was so different with Sasuke. Instead of just imagining it, Naruto now actually had some real life visuals to replay in his mind. And holy shit, he couldn't seem to turn them off. He felt like every synapse in his brain had been reprogrammed to just store images of Sasuke naked in the shower. The way the water had clung to his skin. The way his lips had parted slightly as he panted. The way his eyes had looked both dangerous and aroused at the same time.

Naruto felt his cock strain further at just the thought and cursed.

Hell, even the thought of Sasuke possibly taking a swing at him while Naruto pressed him up against the shower wall made Naruto's cock leak. Naruto thumped his forehead against the shower tiles and groaned. His body was shivering from the cold, but his hard-on showing no signs of dissipating.

Giving up on getting rid of his erection by freezing it, he turned the shower temperature back up and grabbed the soap. He braced his legs slightly further apart and leaned back against the tiles as his hand closed over his erection. He realized he was standing in roughly the same position Sasuke had been. As though their positions were now reversed. And that though triggered a mental image of Sasuke kneeling on his shower floor with his lips around Naruto's cock, which sent Naruto into an instant climax.

 _"Fffuuuuccckkk_!" Naruto gasped.

Now he had a new mental image that was seared into his brain. He had solved one problem, but had definitely created another. And the worst of it was that when Sasuke sobered up, he might not even remember that anything had happened at all. Or he might remember it, and be pissed as hell that Naruto had not just left when he found Sasuke drunk and naked in his bed. And honestly, Naruto couldn't blame him. He had never felt so angry at himself. But goddammit! He had tried. But he was only human, and he just… Sasuke was so...

Naruto sighed in frustration.

He was so tired and overwhelmed at the moment he was not able to even begin to sort out what he was going to do the next time he saw Sasuke - assuming the man didn't simply chidori him for taking advantage of him while he was drunk. Naruto toweled himself off roughly and pulled on a pair of orange boxers, then crossed to his bed and flopped down on it, dragging the sheet over his body but too tired to go find the blanket that he must have kicked on the floor at some point.

He was asleep within seconds

-xXx-

Sasuke had lay in the shower after Naruto had left simply letting his body ride the slowing ebbing wave of his climax high. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt this satisfied or relaxed. His mind was still hazed with pleasure and he saw no reason to cut it short by moving or thinking.

Even the drugs hadn't made him feel this good.

When he finally started to shiver from cold, he stood and grabbed a towel. He rubbed it through his hair first, then wiped the water from his arms and chest. He sucked a breath in through his teeth as he ran the soft towel over his groin which was still sensitized from Naruto's ministrations. The sensation brought back vivid memories of exactly what had just transpired in his shower.

The force of his orgasm had taken him by surprise... the extreme pleasure something he had never experienced before. Just the memory of Naruto's mouth and hands on him made his blood heat again and his groin stirred slightly. He wanted it to happen again. It was the first thing he could honestly say he wanted since the ending of the war. Since probably much longer than that. He hadn't let himself want anything pleasurable since he had stood there, shaking and crying while his brother forced the memories into his mind about his clan's death. At that moment, Sasuke had felt that everything except vengeance inside of him had died.

When Naruto had walked into Sasuke's bedroom and the clear blue eyes had darkened with anger and lust, Sasuke had wanted something to happen. All residual thoughts of Itachi, the council, his clan, everything had been pushed aside in that single moment. Sasuke had simply wanted Naruto to keep watching him. The focus he had always found soothing as a child had grown somehow darker, more potent… stronger.

And when Naruto had finally crossed the small bathroom to be within his reach, Sasuke had not hesitated. His body had known what it wanted, and his mind had been compliant, watching almost passively as he had grabbed Naruto and dragged his body against his own under the stream of the shower and kissed him.

Sasuke rubbed his thumb harshly across his lips as his mind recreated that first moment of contact. He had had no idea that the experience would have been so intense, but now that he did…

He was not going to back away from it. Not from the first thing that had made him actually _feel_ something other than hatred or the adrenaline rush of battle. He hadn't really thought there was any other emotion left inside him. He still wasn't sure that there was enough left to mean anything. But this was a start. It was something.

Sasuke hung his towel on the hook in his bathroom and walked naked to his bedroom. He pulled on a pair of soft, cotton pants then lay down on the fresh sheets that he assumed one of Naruto's clones had thoughtfully changed for him. _Or not so thoughtfully,_ Sasuke thought with some amusement, recalling the jealous anger Naruto had expressed at finding Sasuke in cum-soaked sheets in his bedroom.

He remembered his own reaction to that anger. It had made Sasuke feel… powerful. Aggressive. He had _wanted_ Naruto to want him in that moment. And to his surprise, Naruto had. He wondered if it really should have been that much of a surprise, but that would be a thought to pursue later, when his mind was clear from drink and sex.

Even without the sharingan, Sasuke possessed a nearly photographic memory. He assumed it was due to the increased genetic link between the eyes and the brain of most Uchihas. It served at times as both a blessing and a curse. It was easy to replay your actions and their consequences over and over in your mind with perfect clarity when your brain automatically recorded every detail.

Sasuke could remember the way Naruto's pupils had dilated when he had watched him masturbate in the shower, just as they had when they had been locked together on the battlefield. Sasuke recognized that look now. It was one he had seen on countless others, but never on Naruto. It was lust.

Naruto's nostrils had flared just slightly as though he had been trying to draw in more of Sasuke's scent.

And he had felt the shudders in Naruto's body as they had kissed in his shower. The tremors that had wracked Naruto's body when he had knelt between Sasuke's thighs and sucked his dick.

Sasuke shifted on the bed, his fingers fisting into the sheets. The exchange in the shower had been a bit one-sided. Sasuke definitely wanted to even the score.

The dark look Naruto had sent him when he had said he had to leave… was more than friendship.

In at least that moment, Naruto had wanted him. And potentially had wanted him when they had sparred earlier, though Sasuke could not be sure. The lust for battle and the lust for sex were similar, at least to Sasuke. And in their case, perhaps combined. The thought of what that could translate to had Sasuke's hips flexing slightly. He slid his hand down to the edge of his pants, but not inside.

He'd experimented fully with masturbation. He knew now it was a pale comparison to what could be. And he had never been willing to settle for second best in anything.

Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance that Naruto had gone home. He knew that the blond shinobi had been tired. The lines of fatigue had been etched on his face. But he also knew that tiredness had not been the reason Naruto had all but run from Sasuke's home.

Sasuke smiled cynically. Naruto had left because he was still trying to be a 'good friend'. He assumed that just because Sasuke had been drinking he didn't know what he wanted. Which was bullshit. Sasuke knew exactly what he wanted now.

And he also knew that Naruto wanted it, too. Or at least had wanted it this morning. But in order for that to happen, he needed to break Naruto from his mantra of 'just friends'. It had never really rung true, anyway. Sasuke had always been dissatisfied with Naruto's weak explanations for his fixation on Sasuke. He had seen Naruto's other friendships, and they didn't go as far or as deep. Naruto had been willing to go against all his friends to come after Sasuke again and again, even fight them if it meant preventing them from trying to kill Sasuke.

But Naruto had never really been able to explain why he wouldn't give up on Sasuke. Everyone else had given up on him. Everyone.

Even himself.

It had bothered Sasuke that he never could find a believable reason for Naruto to pursue him so relentlessly. Friendship? No. Friendship was not enough. But what had just happened was clearly more than friendship. Sasuke had seen the stark lust and worship in Naruto's eyes as he had watched Sasuke in the shower, and had felt the possessiveness in the blond's gaze. Seen a glimpse of a darker side to Naruto's obsession for him that he had not seen or at least not recognized before.

Sasuke shifted his legs slightly wider apart at the thought, feeling a smug sense of power at knowing that the man who would be Hokage, the man people now spoke of as this pure sort of savior to the village, wanted _him_. Had dropped to his knees and sucked Sasuke's cock like it was the only source of water and he was dying of thirst.

And that alone was revenge against the village of a sort. They had all tried to turn Naruto against him. Sasuke laughed darkly. But they had no idea of what the bond really was between the two boys. But Sasuke finally did. He finally understood.

He was not unfamiliar with people wanting to possess him sexually. He had been the object of obsessive desires from both men and women since he could remember. But it had never been reciprocated. Never triggered and equal sense of possessiveness in return.

Sasuke had no trouble acknowledging that what he felt was definitely possessiveness towards Naruto. The idea of Naruto with anyone else in that way made Sasuke's sharingan activate. He had no idea if Naruto were sexually experienced. Or potentially even in some sort of relationship, though he guessed Sakura would have told him if he were.

But from what Sasuke knew of Naruto, he doubted that Naruto had ever had a serious relationship. Sasuke drew a slow breath. Naruto was too damaged. Like him. Neither one was really able to let someone else in. Not that close. Naruto had lived years of growing up knowing his body was the only barrier between the village and a demon that had wanted to destroy it.

He was used to being hated for what was inside him, and had grown up not knowing the reason for the hatred, having every effort at reaching out to people be rebuffed harshly with scorn and derision. It would be hard for Naruto to make any sort of move to try to have a relationship outside of the normal teammate interactions.

Sasuke felt the old anger surge back up as he thought of what the village that Naruto always fought so hard to protect had done to their 'hero' as a child. How quickly they had all been willing to pretend like it had never happened and just move on, allowing Naruto to put himself at risk for their safety again and again. And Naruto always did so without hesitation. Never called them to account for what they had done.

Sasuke wasn't sure he could ever be that forgiving. Or, to be perfectly accurate, he was completely sure that he could never be that forgiving. Many of the village hated him for what he had done. And hated his brother and their whole clan because of the lies that they had been fed. Sasuke viewed the villagers with complete contempt for their seemingly endless ability to hate without reasoning, and never face the consequences. Mindless sheep.

He wasn't here for them. They didn't matter.

He had come back to Konoha because Naruto had made him. And he had stayed because he hadn't found anything to make the effort of leaving worth it. He was an infamous S-ranked criminal. His looks were easily recognizable, making living in another village no better than the one that he currently resided in. And this village had the one person that Sasuke found any value in.

The one person who had ever understood him, even slightly. More perhaps than even Itachi had been able to, in the end.

Naruto had said he had left because Sasuke was drunk. That was easily fixable. Sasuke knew that Naruto had not been kidding when he had said he was going to go and sleep. There was no sense in rushing things. Sasuke would sleep it off. Then go find Naruto.

There were things he needed to discuss with his 'best friend'.

**-xXx-**

Naruto lay in his bed. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, but something had woken him up. His right arm now felt completely numb. He must have slept on it funny.

He opened his eyes to see Sasuke leaning against the wall watching him, face unreadable. Naruto searched to find any sign of anger. Clearly the fact that Sasuke was in his apartment again meant that Sasuke remembered at least part of what had happened. Naruto wasn't sure if that would end up being a good thing or a bad thing. But Sasuke's face already looked less drawn… his eyes less dead than what Naruto had seen in years. Maybe there was something to what Tsunade had said after all. Not able to bear the silence anymore, Naruto broke it.

"This is becoming a habit. You showing up in my bedroom and being creepy while I sleep," Naruto said, trying to make a joke. He was not awake enough to handle this confrontation. If it was going to be a confrontation. He still couldn't tell.

Sasuke stood there looking like it was the most natural place for him to be, standing fully clothed in Naruto's bedroom while Naruto was once again in just his boxers.

"You came to my bed, so I figured it was fine if I came to yours."

Naruto couldn't help the heat he felt flame up along his neck and cheekbones at Sasuke's words. He couldn't have meant it the way it sounded but Naruto couldn't help the choking cough that emerged from his throat.

He caught a slight gleam of amusement in the black gaze, which was disconcertingly awake and alert, unlike what Naruto felt like. Clearly, Sasuke had sobered up. And wanted to talk.

Naruto flexed his fingers on his right hand again as he sat up, annoyed that it was still stinging numbly.

"Did you injure your hand?" Sasuke asked, as always able to read even a subtle show of weakness in a potential opponent.

Naruto scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "Just slept funny."

Sasuke blew out a derisive breath.

"What, like you are such a perfect fucking ninja you never sleep funny?" Naruto asked feeling slightly annoyed. Sasuke was always able to get him feeling like they were competing. Evidently even with sleep positions.

Sasuke just arched a brow, then levered himself away from the wall and walked into the small kitchen area. Naruto stared blankly after him, hearing water running. Was Sasuke… staying for… Naruto glanced at the clock in his room and saw it was around midnight. … dinner? Naruto had slept for twelve hours. Now his sleep schedule would be all fucked up because Sasuke had woken him up rather than letting him sleep until dawn as Naruto had planned. Which begged the question of why Sasuke was here, casually doing something in Naruto's kitchen in the middle of the night.

The sound of the water running made Naruto realize that he had matters of a personal nature to attend to. He walked to the bathroom, grabbing a T-shirt and sweatpants as he went. Had Sasuke given him privacy because he knew Naruto needed to…

No. He wasn't going to sit around wondering if Sasuke could tell when he needed to take a piss. Fuck, he wasn't even really awake yet. He relieved himself then washed his hands, splashing some cold water on his face and hoping his brain would wake up.

Sasuke was in his apartment and Naruto had no idea why or what to expect. But he figured clothing was always a good thing, so he pulled on his shirt and pants and padded barefoot out to the kitchen to find Sasuke cooking some rice on the single burner stove.

"So after your old place got leveled by Pein, you didn't want to upgrade?" Sasuke asked casually as he put the lid on the only pot Naruto owned.

Naruto shrugged. "It's not like I do a lot of entertaining. I'm hardly home anyway, and when I am it's just me. All I do here is sleep. It seemed a waste to get a bigger place."

Sasuke nodded as he rummaged through the cupboards.

"Um… are you cooking me dinner?"

Sasuke shot him a hard look. "You cleaned up my place twice. I figured I can make you a meal when I know you didn't eat all day."

Naruto's mind raced. Should he bring up what had happened in Sasuke's shower that morning? What did Sasuke even remember? He didn't seem angry. He didn't seem… Naruto fought the urge to smash his head into the table. He had no idea what he was supposed to say right now.

He looked up to see Sasuke observing him with some amusement. Naruto's eyes immediately narrowed as all nervousness fled. _Fucking Uchiha._

"Was it because of what Tsunade told you to do?" Sasuke asked abruptly, his voice definitely less casual than when he had asked about Naruto's apartment.

Naruto froze. He knew that he needed to answer this question carefully. Sasuke's expression gave nothing away about what he thought about the situation. Was he angry? Disgusted? Curious?

Naruto took a slow breath, pouring himself a glass of water to give himself something to do. "You mean… this morning when…"

"When you gave me head in my shower. Yes."

Naruto managed to not drop the glass. Just barely. "I…" Naruto looked at Sasuke's face, frantically searching for what he should say that would not end in Sasuke activating the sharingan or trying to behead him. "Sasuke, I just… you looked… and I…"

"Did you do it because Tsunade told you to," Sasuke repeated, taking a step closer, his voice hardening.

Naruto felt pinned by the intensity in Sasuke's eyes. He gave the only answer he could. "No."

Sasuke slowly closed the distance, not breaking eye contact. He reached out, brushing his fingers against Naruto's as he took the glass from the nerveless tan fingers and set it on the kitchen table. "Good," Sasuke said, his voice low as he slid a hand around the back of Naruto's neck and slowly drawing him forward until their lips brushed against each other.

Naruto could smell the mint of Sasuke's breath, and no trace of alcohol. He briefly wondered if he were still asleep or had somehow managed to trap himself in a genjustu because he was pretty sure that this was not possible. But Sasuke's lips came down with more force, and Naruto found himself pulling Sasuke closer and deepening the kiss.

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed out, something between a question and a prayer.

Sasuke simply pulled Naruto's mouth back against his, opening their mouths even wider. He didn't want to talk about what was happening. He wanted the escalation that had happened before that had wiped his mind clean. He had woken up alone in his bed, hung over again. But unlike every other morning since he had arrived back in Konoha, he had something he wanted to accomplish when he woke up. He wanted to find Naruto, and see how much of what he had felt had been amplified by the alcohol and how much was real. And he had wanted to know if Naruto had done it because he had to, or because he wanted to.

When he felt Naruto's hands dig into his hips, felt the heat that flooded through his blood, his growing erection pressing against an answering hardness in Naruto, he knew the answer to both questions.

His mind went blissfully blank except for the feel of the burning points of contact between his body and Naruto's. It was better than alcohol or the opium when he was with Naruto like this. He breathed out a shaky breath as Naruto's hands slid up over his back, fisting into his shirt and tugging it slightly before stopping. He could feel a tremor run through Naruto's arms, and realized that the blond was trying to hold himself back.

Sasuke lifted his mouth from Naruto's breaking their kiss, and looked down into blue eyes that looked back at him almost desperate with desire.

"You said you stopped last time because I was drunk," Sasuke said, running his thumb down the front of Naruto's T-shirt until it reached the hem. He slid his fingers under the edge, letting the tips of his fingers brush against the flat, taut stomach beneath it. He felt the muscles clench beneath his touch.

"I'm clearly sober. So why are you holding back?" Sasuke persisted, slowly sliding one hand up over Naruto's chest, wondering why it felt so good to touch another person in this way. It was just skin and bone and muscle, but…

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath as Sasuke's fingertips happened to brush across his nipple. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the sound, and he repeated the motion with more force.

"Fuck, Sasuke," Naruto said, banging his head back against the wall as he tried to get his brain to engage.

Sasuke smirked, this time using his calloused thumb to rub against the nub, then rolled it between his fingers. A male nipple was not something he had ever considered as an object of interest in the past. It served no purpose in terms of a reproductive function. But watching Naruto bite his lip and choke back a groan at his touch made him suddenly very interested in what other touches to that part of Naruto's body would do.

He roughly grabbed the bottom of Naruto's shirt and yanked it off him. Naruto stood there for a moment, letting Sasuke look at him. Naruto wanted to remove Sasuke's clothing as well, but he wasn't really sure what Sasuke wanted or how far he wanted things to go. And he knew without a doubt that if Sasuke started taking his clothing off, there was no way in hell Naruto would be able to stop.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began again, wanting to find some way of asking what Sasuke really wanted with all this. He remembered Tsunade's words to let Sasuke set the pace, and determine what he was comfortable with. Naruto was pretty sure this wasn't what she'd had in mind, but he thought the advice was good nonetheless. He didn't know what Sasuke needed. But he knew that he would be whatever it was. Whatever Sasuke needed.

"No talking," Sasuke said, moving closer again, rubbing his thumbs of both of Naruto's nipples simultaneously, watching them harden and redden with the abrasion. "Sensitive," he murmured, almost as though noting it to himself.

"No shit," Naruto gritted out, letting his head fall back slightly as Sasuke bent down and experimentally swirled his tongue over one of the reddened nubs.

"Fuck!" Naruto said, his back arching somewhat.

Sasuke snickered. " _Very_ sensitive. Just like a girl."

Naruto glared, already feeling the competitive streak that Sasuke always brought out in him rearing up. He grabbed Sasuke by his shirt, jerking the already gaping garment the rest of the way open and peeling it down off his shoulders before shoving Sasuke back into the small bedroom.

"What would know about girls' nipples anyway?" Naruto growled.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but allowed Naruto to push him down on the bed. "Probably about as much as you," Sasuke retorted.

Naruto paused in the act of pulling Sasuke's shirt out of his purple obi to look at him, amusement and challenge lighting his eyes. "Oh, really?"

Naruto bent his head down to where Sasuke's nipple had been bared, throwing the shirt off to the side. He gave a slow lick with the flat of his tongue, then swirled around it with the tip before grazing his teeth along the sensitized flesh.

Sasuke's dark eyes were fixed on the motion of Naruto's tongue over his flesh, and he remembered earlier that morning that Naruto seemed to know some very specific things to do with his tongue and teeth that felt amazingly good. He narrowed his eyes. The actions of Naruto's tongue spoke of practice.

Sasuke's hand reached out and fisted into Naruto's hair, jerking him back from what he had been doing despite the pleasure it had been bringing him.

"The fuck?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke warily. Had Sasuke decided he didn't want this after all? Naruto didn't think there was enough cold water in all of Konoha to kill his erection at this point.

"Who?" Sasuke bit out.

"What?" Naruto asked, struggling to get his brain to try to figure out what Sasuke was asking.

"You said you knew more."

Naruto knew he shouldn't feel as much pleasure as he did at the look of possessiveness that flashed in Sasuke's eyes. He grinned, and he thought he briefly saw a flash of red in Sasuke's dark eyes. "Do you have any idea how much porn I read under Ero Senin?"

Sasuke took in the full implication of what Naruto was saying. "So, you've never…" Sasuke let the question trail off.

"No," Naruto said, blushing a bit but trying not to be embarrassed.

Sasuke's smirk reemerged briefly as he released his death grip on Naruto's hair, but kept his hand behind Naruto's head and slowly pulled him down into a kiss.

"Neither have I."

Naruto's head jerked back as looked at Sasuke. "But… last night… I saw your bed."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but a slight blush dusted his cheeks. "I thought you said you'd traveled with Jiraya. Surely you can figure it out, Dobe."

Naruto thought about what he had seen, and his eyes widened before he burst out laughing. "Holy shit, Sasuke. I've definitely jacked off in my time but… damn, that's hard core."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes again, his fingers tightening back in Naruto's hair as he dragged the blond in for another kiss, this one much less gentle. Naruto didn't even bother to resist. Instead, he focused on trying to remember everything Jiraya had ever written about what felt good, and how to make your partner scream with pleasure. He pressed his thumbs into the dips just above Sasuke's hip bones as he slowly rocked their hips together.

Both boys gasped at the sensation. Sasuke was nothing if not a fast learner, and he picked up the pace and force rapidly until they were both almost ready to cum. Naruto gasped, not wanting it to end so quickly, and gripped Sasuke's hips harshly to stop the motion.

Sasuke made a frustrated sound, but stopped as soon as he felt Naruto's hands fumbling with the knot on his obi. Definitely in agreement that less clothing would be a good idea that this point, he rapidly undid the drawstring of Naruto's sweat pants.

"Fuck," Naruto cursed has he continued to struggle with the knot at Sasuke's waist.

At first Sasuke assumed it was just nerves that was making Naruto slightly uncoordinated, but as he looked down to where Naruto's hands were fumbling with his belt, he realized that something was not right.

Without thinking, he activated his sharingan to observe Naruto's hand. "Naruto… what the fuck did you do to your hand?"

For the first time, Naruto looked at the hand that had been bothering him since he came back from his mission. He could see the faint discoloration of the flesh there. And he remembered the seal that Danzo had left that he had thought he had successfully disarmed.

Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the hospital."

Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."

Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."

-xXx-

_to be continued…_


	8. Missions

**Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy),** drug abuse, mental illness

 **Author's note:** Thank you to CapturedByNoodles and WordWriter for their advice and encouragement on this chapter. Love you ladies!

-xXx-

_Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the hospital."_

_Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."_

_Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."_

Naruto hesitated. There would be no way to conceal what the nature of his injury was if Sasuke came with him. And Sasuke was smart enough that he would be able to quickly connect the dots and know what Naruto was up to.

Naruto walked to the kitchen and picked up his shirt, slowly pulling it on. He could feel Sasuke's gaze on his back the entire time, and knew that his hesitation and silence had been duly noted.

"Ok. Let's go then," Naruto said, turning to look directly at Sasuke.

Naruto saw some of the tension leave Sasuke's shoulders at his words. He had clearly been braced for rejection and dismissal. Naruto gave him a lopsided smile. He had always put his faith in Sasuke. He was too old to change that now. Though he wasn't looking forward to Tsunade's reaction when he showed up with Sasuke.

But he was rewarded by the smallest twitch of Sasuke's lips in return before he turned and pulled the rice from the stove before it burned. They made their way silently through the dark streets of Konoha to the Hokage's Tower.

-xXx-

Naruto signaled to the Anbu guards at the entrance as they approached. "We're here to see Baa-chan," he said flatly. The men were used to Naruto having basically free access to the Tower given Tsunade had been apprenticing him for taking over the Hokage duties, but they tensed as they saw who was accompanying him.

"We received no permission from Tsunade-sama that she would be receiving visitors tonight," the man said, his gaze fixed coldly on Sasuke.

Naruto felt himself bristling at the hostile looks both Anbu were giving his friend. He understood their reasons. But he didn't like it. It reminded him so much of the same hostile, dead way that people used to look at him as a child. The fear of something dangerous twisted into hatred by lack of understanding.

Sasuke simply ignored it, staring straight ahead. Clearly, this was not surprising or new to him. Naruto took a breath, and pasted on a smile that probably only Sasuke was able to recognize as fake. "Well, if _you_ want to go wake Baa-chan up and ask her, then we can just wait here until you get back. But we have critical information that she needs to know, and I'm not going to have my ass handed to me for waiting until morning to tell her. So it's your choice. Either you wake her up, or we will."

Despite being Anbu, the two men flinched slightly. No one in their right mind woke the Godaime Hokage up after she'd gone to sleep unless the village was literally under attack. The guards glanced at each other, then stepped back to allow Naruto and Sasuke to pass.

Naruto smirked. "That's what I thought."

Between the Fifth Hokage and the man who would be the Sixth, the guards figured the Uchiha traitor would be contained even if he tried something. But one of the guards still escorted the pair until they reached her chambers.

-xXx-

Naruto and Sasuke paused outside the elaborately paneled wooden doors. It was one of the few buildings in Konoha that had been built to look exactly the same as the original had before Nagato had destroyed the village. Naruto looked back at Sasuke. "Ah.. you might want to stand back a bit. Let me be the one she sees when she first opens the door."

Sasuke hesitated, then stepped back. Naruto blew out a breath and banged on the door with full force. "Oi! Baa-chan!"

The Anbu guard vanished in a puff of smoke, not wanting to be in line of fire when she came to the door. Ideally he didn't want to even be in the building.

Naruto continued to bang for almost a minute before the door was flung open, and a slightly disheveled Tsunade stood there, glaring at him. She wore a thin nightgown and robe that probably would have sent Jiraya into a fatal nosebleed if he had been around to see it. The fleeting thought sent a pang of sadness through Naruto at the same time it brought a slight smile to his lips.

"Unless you tell me that Pein has been resurrected and is about to flatten the village again, you'd better start running, brat."

"Baa-chan," Naruto said, raising his hands in supplication as she raised her finger threateningly. "I think I might not have disarmed one of the seals as well as I thought."

Sasuke's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed at this, at the same time Tsunade's hand froze and a look of concern crossed her face.

"Come in. The guards are not able to monitor conversation there." She turned to head back into her room and caught sight of Sasuke. "Naruto…" she said warningly.

"He was the one who noticed the problem with my hand," Naruto said, mentally digging his heels in if Tsunade were going to ask Sasuke to leave.

"Is that why he activated his sharingan?"

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance at the news that she had been informed about that. Hopefully, whichever Anbu had been following Sasuke had simply noticed the chakra activation, and weren't close enough to know what else had been going on in Naruto's apartment.

"Yes," Naruto said. "Are we going to discuss this in the hallway?"

Tsunade sighed, turning and walking into her room, allowing Naruto and Sasuke to follow. Sasuke carefully closed the doors behind them. "Brat, you always make things more complicated. But fine. Did you tell him how you got the injury?"

"No," Naruto said, his voice expressionless. "You ordered me not to." He felt Sasuke's intense gaze on him as he stood facing Tsunade.

She snorted. "So instead of telling him, you just brought him along so he can figure it out himself. At some point we need to have a discussion about following the spirit of the order, not just the letter." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Tsunade stopped him. "I let him in, didn't I? Give me your hand, then, brat. Let me see what's happening."

Tsunade ran her hands over Naruto's arm, allowing her chakra to penetrate his flesh as she explored the nature of his wound. She gasped and drew her hands back, her eyes widening.

"It's… it's some sort curse seal. It is similar in a way to the reaper seal that the Third used on Orochimaru, but somehow this was embedded in the scroll instead of used by an actual person." She brought her hands back with more caution this time, probing again.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke and could see the gears turning in his friend's head. There were not many shinobi who could use a seal like that. Fewer still who would leave it as a trap in a scroll. Sasuke's face went blank as he began to realize what might have happened.

"Yeah, but… you can you fix it, right?" Naruto asked, trying to sound confident.

"I… am not sure," Tsunade said, still frowning in concentration as she continued to probe the affected area with her chakra. "I'm doing what I can to repair the damage, but I don't know how to stop it entirely. I've never seen anything like this. Kurama's chakra is interfering with the sealing effect… if it weren't, you would have lost the use of your entire arm by now. It looks like it was designed to spread, eventually killing its victim, but luckily it wasn't designed for Jinchuurikis. It wasn't able to progress beyond your hand."

"But… Kurama's chakra will keep that from happening, right?" Naruto said slightly nervously. "I'm not going to lose the use of my hand?"

Tsunade bit her lip, then pulled her hands back. "I need to go and do some research. Damn, Danzo," she cursed under her breath, but not so quietly that the two shinobi in the room did not hear. Naruto looked at Tsunade, realizing the slip was intentional. She wasn't exactly rescinding her order to Naruto not to disclose the mission to Sasuke, but she had effectively just done so herself.

"What can I do?" Naruto asked.

"No missions until this is resolved," Tsunade said firmly. "I'll summon Sai back, but it will take him two days to get back. He knows more about fuijutsu than almost anyone else, and he studied under Danzo. Though..." Tsunade looked balefully at Naruto's arm. "... Danzo always kept his most powerful secrets close to his chest. He was too afraid that he would be betrayed by them in the end. Sai may or may not know anything about this." Tsunade slanted a glance at Sasuke. "You apprenticed under Orochimaru. And you fought and defeated Danzo."

It was said with a mix of respect and condemnation. Sasuke acknowledged both. "I know where most of Orochimaru's research on seals is. It's less than a day's journey from the village. I might be able to find something." The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. Once again, he was leaving the village and seeking out Orochimaru's knowledge because of something Danzo had set in motion. The only difference was that this time, it was with the Hokage's blessing.

"I'm going with you," Naruto said flatly.

Evidently Sasuke wasn't the only one recalling the last time this had happened.

"You're useless if you can't use your hand to make seals," Sasuke said. They had no idea of the rate of acceleration of the cursed seal. Sasuke would prefer that Naruto stay back with Tsunade where she could monitor him. Looking at the blond ninja, though, Sasuke realized that it would be fruitless to argue the point.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and hardened. "I'm still more useful than a nin who just sat around drinking his ass off for three months without training."

Despite the situation, Sasuke felt his lips almost twitch into a smile. Some things never changed. Sasuke implying that he was a better ninja than Naruto in any circumstance would always provoke a reaction. Even with the Hokage's hat all but resting on Naruto's head.

"Tch. Fine. Just don't get in the way," Sasuke said. He glanced over at Tsunade to see her looking at them in amusement.

Her amusement faded, however when she began to speak. "Sasuke. I'm sure you've realized the… delicacy of this situation. There are many people who would not be pleased to learn that Danzo's personal information was being vetted. This is an Anbu mission. There can be no breach of secrecy as to the nature of Naruto's injury or what you are researching. No one can be allowed to find out what about any aspect of this."

Sasuke stood absolutely still, but the air in the Hokage's private chamber crackled with dark anger. Finally, he spoke. "No one knows better than I do the nature of Danzo's dealings, and the danger of revealing them."

Tsunade said nothing, but her eyes softened a bit. It was true. No one in the village had lost more than the boy standing before her to Danzo's agendas and hidden machinations. Whatever else she could say about Sasuke or Itachi, Danzo had been the one to set it all in motion. In the end, the blame lay at the dead man's feet.

She watched the two childhood friends walk out of her office, noting the slightly protective stance Sasuke took behind Naruto when they headed out. She smiled slightly. As bad as the situation was, there appeared to be at least some good that was coming out of it. The rogue nin who had at one point vowed to destroy the village now appeared to be trying to protect the future Hokage.

-xXx-

Naruto and Sasuke walked through the village. They both needed to pack and prepare for the journey to the hideout Sasuke had indicated was the most likely place to find any information on the seal. Tsunade had summoned Shizune, and would be conducting her own search in the Hokage library, though much had been lost in the destruction by Pein.

It was approaching dawn, and some of the shopkeepers were making their way through the streets to get ready for the day. Naruto saw the fearful and sometimes scornful looks that they gave Sasuke. It made him angry, though Sasuke didn't even appear to notice.

They had no idea what Sasuke had been put through 'for the sake of the village'. They had no right to judge him. Naruto felt his fists clench, knowing that there was nothing he could do at the moment, other than what he was already doing. He would make the village understand what had been done to Sasuke. And Itachi. He didn't agree with some of the choices they had made, but when they had been manipulated so ruthlessly since childhood, had they ever really had a chance?

Whatever Naruto would do as Hokage, whatever mistakes he knew he would at times make, he would never hide from things the way the Third had. If a hard decision had to be made, he would make it and accept the consequences directly. Not leave them on the shoulders of orphans to be dealt with later. Looking at the rigid shoulders of his friend, Naruto vowed that with the same fervor he had long ago when he had driven a knife through his hand and promised not to run away from a battle again. They were two vows he would keep even in death.

They parted ways, Sasuke heading off his house on the outskirts of town. Naruto watched his friend go, noting the rigid body posture. He could feel the waves of suppressed anger pumping off his friend, and was surprised that the windows didn't crack as they walked past. Naruto worried about the stony look on Sasuke's face, and was surprised that he had not asked Naruto for more information about the nature of what he had found already on Danzo. Though, Naruto supposed as he watched Sasuke disappear around a corner, the nin had probably already figured most of it out. Naruto turned and headed to his own apartment. He didn't know how Sasuke would react to the information he had found in Danzo's lair. The details of exactly what had been done were even worse than Naruto had imagined before.

He didn't know if the knowledge would bring closure for Sasuke, or break him.

-xXx-

Sasuke walked through the rubble of the old Uchiha district, his eyes unseeing. He was losing control. It had been so hard to not let the memories wash back over him in Tsunade's office when he realized what was going on. But now they were crashing through him. His memories of that night, when his life had shattered. The images that had been recorded by his own eyes. The false memories Itachi had first imprinted in his mind. Then finally, the real ones Itachi had shared at the end. His clan. His parents. His brother.

All dead.

Sasuke felt a wave of nausea wash over him, and realized his hands were shaking slightly. He couldn't control his mind. He couldn't push the images away.

He stumbled up the steps to his house, fumbled with the door. He finally made it inside, closing the door behind him, leaning against it, panting.

Danzo's seal. Naruto had been injured by a seal Danzo had placed to kill the person who touched it. Naruto… had been searching through Danzo's things.

Somewhere outside the village, because Sasuke himself had searched through every piece of rubble that Danzo and the council members had left behind and found nothing.

The mission.

Naruto must have found a hide-out of Danzo's. One that hadn't been destroyed. Naruto's missions, the ones he had been going on over the past three months. Coming home exhausted and chakra depleted. He had been hunting for evidence of something. It didn't take a genius to know what that something likely was. All this time, Naruto must have been looking for proof that Itachi had acted under Danzo's orders. And the council. And if Naruto had touched something that Danzo had deemed important enough to put a seal like that on it…

He had found it.

Sasuke's hands were shaking. He clenched them into fists, feeling his nails cutting into the palms of his hands. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and he stumbled into the bathroom and emptied his stomach.

He brushed his fingers over his eyes, the anguish of the fact that they were all that was left of his brother, of his family, of his clan. The hatred he felt, the rage at the injustice and the deception of it all rose up and choked him. His stomach heaved again.

Naruto had found proof that Danzo had ordered the death of his clan. Proof that Itachi was not the monster that everyone called him.

But it was also proof that Sasuke had killed Itachi… for nothing. His vengeance against Itachi had been a trick. One he should have seen through? One that Danzo had ordered. One that Itachi had wanted as well. To end it.

Sasuke gripped the rim of the basin, wishing he could relive killing Danzo as many times as he had had to relive the horror of the memories of all the things that man had brought down upon him.

His brother had committed that act… for Sasuke. To save him. And Sasuke… had, in turn, killed Itachi for it. Even if it was in the end what Itachi had wanted, had planned… the guilt of it was still crushing.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could close out the images. He needed relief. The burden was too much. He needed the thoughts and memories to stop. Just for a while.

Sasuke stumbled to the kitchen, grabbing the jar that would wipe his mind clean, if only for a bit. Make the shaking stop. Naruto would be by later, and he needed to be back in control.

-xXx-

Naruto didn't know why he felt like he had to hurry, but he threw his pack together as quickly as humanly possible. Something was wrong with Sasuke. He had been able to tell by the emotionless, empty expression on his face when they parted. He was sure that Sasuke must have figured out what Naruto's missions had been about. But he hadn't asked any questions about it.

Naruto had a slightly panicky feeling that Sasuke would leave without him if he had the chance. Not bothering with the streets, Naruto raced along the rooftops to get to Sasuke as quickly as possible.

He knocked on the door, expecting Sasuke to throw him out, or at least yell at him for coming so soon.

He was surprised when he heard Sasuke's voice calmly tell him to come in.

Naruto entered, again having the feeling that something was off with his friend. Less than an hour ago, Sasuke had looked to be almost in shock with what he had found out, his body rigid with tension, his face frozen and hard. But now... he was simply seated at his kitchen table, looking oddly relaxed.

Naruto glanced around the kitchen, but everything seemed in place.

"Uh… Sasuke? Are you… feeling ok?"

Sasuke looked over at him, his eyes half-lidded and almost sleepy looking. "Hn," he said, standing and walking to the living room, clearly expecting Naruto to follow. Used to reading his opponent's body language, Naruto eyed Sasuke's movements. The lethal grace was still there, but somehow it seemed… softened. Slowed.

Naruto frowned slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had just bottled it all back inside him, but that didn't seem quite right either. He seemed to be just honestly… relaxed. There was something about the severity of the mood swing that didn't seem natural. Didn't seem possible.

Sasuke sat back on the folded futon, lounging against the cushions there, his legs spread slightly apart with negligent grace.

Images of the night before shot through Naruto's mind, and he mentally kicked himself. His arm was being slowly consumed by some stupid seal that Danzo had left behind, and his best friend was being forced to confront the event that had destroyed his life. This was not the time to be thinking about sex.

"So are you going to tell me what you found?" Sasuke asked, arching a brow.

Naruto hesitated. He knew that there would be Anbu following them more closely now after they had basically forced themselves into the Hokage tower this morning. Many of the Anbu had expressed concern to both Naruto and Tsunade that Sasuke was too dangerous to be allowed to roam freely in the village.

They couldn't be allowed to hear this conversation. He knew they would report his actions back to Tsunade, but after her actions this morning, he had a feeling that she would understand. Naruto's hands moved stiffly in a set of seals that Tsunade had showed him which ensured that no one could listen in on their conversation. He noted that Sasuke had activated his sharingan when he did it, clearly memorizing the pattern, though Naruto had done it so slowly due to his injured hand that Sasuke probably hadn't needed to.

"I found the order. Signed by Danzo and the council," Naruto said, watching Sasuke closely for his reaction.

Sasuke blinked, and a shudder wracked the pale body. But Sasuke simply nodded.

"And what did the order say?" Sasuke asked, his voice calm. Naruto noticed the pale fingers clench fractionally against the mattress of the futon.

"It said…" Naruto licked his lips nervously, not sure how to say this except to just get it out. He couldn't begin to imagine what was going through Sasuke's head right now. Despite the carefully controlled expression, Naruto could read the swirl of hatred, guilt and anguish in the dark eyes. "It said that they ordered Itachi to carry out a pre-emptive strike against the Uchiha clan. Danzo and the council made the call that a direct negotiation would be too risky, and would tip their hand that they were aware of the plot. They decided not to risk losing the advantage of surprise. They believed..." Naruto trailed off and swallowed, hardly able to force the words out describing what had been done. "... they believed that the Uchiha leaders would never expect them to act without at least attempted negotiations first. They saw this fact as a benefit, as it increased Itachi's chance of success despite the fact that Itachi was already under suspicion by the clan."

Sasuke sat for a moment. "So Danzo and the council didn't even try to negotiate, or mediate, or even just imprison them all."

Naruto met Sasuke's gaze directly. He would not sugar coat this. If he was going to be Hokage, he would start with owning the mistakes of the past, even if they weren't his. "No. And if Itachi had disagreed, they were planning to kill him before he could warn the clan. They agreed that as long as Itachi left the village and no word of the order were ever found out, they would allow a single Uchiha child to live."

Sasuke stared off into the corner of the room. "Me."

Naruto nodded. "Yes."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Sasuke clearly digesting what Naruto had said.

"And Itachi joining the Akatsuki?"

Naruto looked down at his hand, noticing vaguely that it was slightly darker than it was an hour ago despite Tsunade's best efforts. "There was another order, inserting him into the Akatsuki. He reported back, including his own crimes."

Sasuke's head jerked up at that. "There are reports from Itachi?"

Naruto hesitated. "Some." He struggled with how much he should say. Sasuke deserved to know about the information he had found on the Uchiha clan that cleared Itachi. Even if he'd had to go against Tsunade's orders, he would have told his friend.

Naruto could tell that Sasuke wanted to ask to see them. To know what it was his brother had been forced to do. Had been willing to do. Naruto had read them, and it had made his blood run cold. He wanted to protect Sasuke from that knowledge if he could. "Itachi didn't try to cover up his own actions. Danzo had known what it would take for Itachi to be a respected enough member of the Akatsuki for Nagato to discuss anything with him."

Sasuke felt bile rise in his throat as the thought of the brother that had not even wanted to kill the wild boar that had been tearing up the crops when he was a child. Even the drugs weren't able to keep his mind from spiraling down into his memories again.

Naruto saw the desolate expression on Sasuke's face. It hurt to see Sasuke hurting. Naruto's hand clenched over his stomach, wishing he could do something. But there was nothing to be done. Some wrongs could never be made right.

He thought maybe distracting Sasuke would be the best bet. "It's almost a full day's journey. We should head out soon. Have you had a chance to pack?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment, then stood and moved wordlessly to his bedroom. He pulled out his pack and began neatly folding a change of clothes and a few items that he would need on their short trip.

Naruto sighed. He wished this were easier. He wished he knew the right thing to do. Maybe Sasuke really wasn't up to this. Tsunade had stabilized Naruto's hand, mostly. Maybe Sasuke could just tell him where to go. Though Naruto wasn't the best person for doing research and knowing what books or scrolls would be relevant. Sasuke would probably laugh if Naruto offered to go alone. They both knew that he would be pretty much clueless as to what to look for. Most of what Naruto had learned had been through battle and training, not research.

Naruto watched Sasuke as he searched through a small weapons cabinet by his bed. He could see the pale hands shake slightly. This wasn't right. He wouldn't make Sasuke do this. "Actually, Sasuke, I just realized that - if you tell me where to go - I can just have Tsunade send a message for Sai to meet me there directly. You wouldn't need to make the trip right now. Danzo taught Sai a lot of the fuijutsu he knew, and Sai did a bunch research on his own as well. He could help me figure out if Orochimaru has anything that could help."

Sasuke's hands stilled on the set of shuriken he was about to place in his pack. A mental image of Naruto sucking Sai off flashed through his mind. The anger that spiked through him at that visual pushed the anguish aside temporarily. He turned slowly to look at Naruto, trying to decide whether his katana was close enough to use, or if he should just fireball Naruto's ass. Luckily for Naruto, the blond's expression was as transparent as always, blue eyes looking at Sasuke full of worry and sympathy. The sympathy part had Sasuke wanting to reach for the handle of his katana again, but he suddenly realized he had a much better idea.

He needed to block out the things he was feeling. He had been struggling to keep his emotions under control. Usually the drugs wiped his mind clean. But this time the memories were just too strong. He needed something that could make him forget. Casually, Sasuke closed his pack and set it on the floor, then leaned against the wall.

"Well, if you wanted to go to the library at the hideout with Sai, I suppose could use the time go and ask Orochimaru directly. I think I know where he is likely to be these days," Sasuke smirked, already seeing the look of shock on Naruto's face morphing to anger, with an edge of jealousy. "He told me he would always be interested to see me again, regardless of the circumstances."

"W-what?! Sasuke are you out of your fucking mind? That guy has been _literally_ after your body since you were twelve years old. Did you _see_ his tongue hanging out when he watched you during the battle with Madara and the juubi?"

Sasuke shrugged with a casual grace, already feeling his adrenaline starting to build. Naruto wasn't really that hard to understand, now that Sasuke had realized the nature of Naruto's obsession with him. He knew what Naruto wanted from him now. It was convenient, because Sasuke wanted the same thing. All he needed to do was to push Naruto to act on the darker side of his obsession. The side that had always been there, but had been disguised and friendship and team loyalty. Sasuke was drawn by the darkness he read easily in Naruto's eyes now. How had it taken him so long to recognize it?

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, noticing how Naruto's gaze slid down his bared neck at the motion. "So? Lots of people have wanted me, Naruto. Even you, evidently. Orochimaru is a powerful ally to have. If I ask him, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help."

Naruto felt anger surge through him. Sasuke was comparing him to Orochimaru now?

Before he even knew what he was doing, Naruto was across the room, his hand lashing out and slamming Sasuke back against the wall. "I am nothing like Orochimaru, you asshole. And you are _not_ going to go to him again, Sasuke. Just because he helped us during the war to save his own skin doesn't mean he won't jump that the chance to take yours if you give him an opportunity," Naruto leaned in, letting his words brush against Sasuke's ear. "I'm not weak like I was the first time you left, Sasuke. I can keep you from going this time."

Sasuke felt a dark surge of lust and triumph as Naruto pinned him against the wall, blue eyes darkened with possessive anger. Sasuke glanced down to where his own kunai was pressed against Naruto's throat, and ran his tongue along his lower lip in anticipation.

"What's the matter, Naruto. Weren't you just saying you'd rather go with Sai, anyway?"

Naruto's fingers flexed convulsively around Sasuke's biceps, realizing that he'd been played. He felt Sasuke press his blade against his throat, and his cock surged to life. He laughed darkly at his own weakness. It really shouldn't surprise him that the threat of violence from Sasuke turned him on. "You're really a bastard, you know that, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't bother replying. He fisted his free hand into Naruto's hair, bringing their mouths together. He needed this. The heat between them that could burn away all thoughts of pasts or futures.

For one moment, Naruto was still against him, and Sasuke feared that Naruto would pull away. He groaned in relief a second later as he felt a shudder run through Naruto before the blond was driving a leg between Sasuke's thighs and kissing him back as though the fate of the village hung in the balance.

Sasuke threw the kunai knife to the side, ignoring the ‘thunk’ as it embedded into the side of his weapons chest. **  
**

-xXx-

_to be continued…_

**NOTE:** If you found the sex in Deception 'too rough' please stop reading this fic now. Don't read the next chapter then complain about it. These are two mentally unstable ninjas (killers), one of whom is angry and the other of whom is high. If this isn't your thing then PLEASE STOP READING this story.


	9. First times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to WordWriter for beta-ing this chapter. And for telling me when to stop my endless rewriting of this scene LOL.

**Author's note: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) Lemon this chapter.** This turned out differently than I thought it was going to, but Naruto is so completely in love with Sasuke that he… cherishes him, I guess you'd say. This story will have both NaruSasu and SasuNaru in it, which to me seems obvious, but for those of you who angst about those things, feel free to skip. But please don't tell me how to write them having sex, because it will annoy me.

-xXx-

_Sasuke didn't bother replying. He fisted his free hand into Naruto's hair, bringing their mouths together. He needed this. The heat between them that could burn away all thoughts of pasts or futures._

_For one moment, Naruto was still, and Sasuke feared that Naruto would pull away. He groaned in relief a second later when he felt a shudder run through Naruto before the blond drove a leg between Sasuke's thighs and kissed him back as though the fate of the village hung in the balance._

_Sasuke threw the kunai knife to the side, ignoring the 'thunk' as it embedded into the side of his weapons chest._

Naruto drove his thumbs into the hinge of Sasuke's jaw, forcing his mouth wider as their teeth clicked together. The mention of Orochimaru had dredged up so much old anger, hurt, and jealousy from when Sasuke had left the village so many years ago. Naruto had fought so hard, chased him for so long. Having Sasuke here, in his grasp, almost overwhelmed Naruto. He drove his tongue in further, tasting Sasuke's mouth, breathing in the scent of him, shuddering at the fierce feeling of possessiveness that had overcome him. He felt like he was drowning and dying of thirst all at the same time. His hands slid down the pale column of Sasuke's neck and gripped harshly at the shoulders, pinning him harder back against the wall and drawing a low sound from deep in Sasuke's throat.

Naruto knew he'd always walked the sharp edge of a precipice when it came to his obsession with Sasuke. But he'd never felt the danger of it pulling at his sanity as strongly he did now. If Sasuke left to go to Orochimaru again after this…. a darkness bubbled in Naruto. His chakra surged before he was able to suppress it, a blend of both his own and the dormant Kurama's. Dark eyes flared open at his chakra surge, watching him with a combination of lust and wariness. How many nights had he seen those eyes in his dreams? Looking at him with mocking contempt. It was that look that had always driven him on. But there was no contempt in Sasuke's eyes now.

The pupils were dilated, eyes heavy lidded. They seemed unfocused and unguarded. The lust in those eyes grew as Sasuke sensed the flood of power through Naruto. But then the eyes turned, looking at Naruto's hand. Sasuke gripped Naruto's wrist, slowly pulling it away from his shoulder.

Naruto realized his hand was burning from the surge in his chakra. He hadn't noticed it earlier. Sasuke's eyes swirled red as he examined the tan hand he held.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began, not sure what he wanted to say.

"Your hand," Sasuke said, his eyes returning to black, looking a bit unfocused. "We need to get going."

"No," Naruto stated, reversing the grip on his injured hand so that now it gripped Sasuke's wrist with surprising strength. He was not walking away again. Tsunade had said she had been able to basically stop the spread of the seal. There was no urgency anymore. And Naruto had received new orders just before he'd left to come to see Sasuke. "Tsunade sent a note telling me to wait until Kakashi returned from his mission this morning. She wanted him to see it before we left, in case he had encountered something like it before."

Sasuke tightened his grip into Naruto's hair, but he remained still. Their eyes locked, Naruto reading Sasuke's skepticism of Naruto's words, but also Sasuke's pulsing desire to continue.

"It's ok," Naruto breathed, releasing his chakra and slowly leaning forward and brushing his lips back against Sasuke's. His hands shook, but it wasn't because of the seal that had damaged them.

Sasuke nodded slightly. He let his head fall back, savoring, for just a moment, the feel of Naruto's body pressed against his. The heat and anticipation was thick in the air between them. He almost smirked as he felt way Naruto' hands trembled.

Naruto seemed to be waiting for permission. How predictable. Sasuke felt no such compunction. With a harsh jerk, Sasuke crushed their mouths back together, reveling in the almost instantaneous feel of being devoured. Their tongues slid against each other, their aggression making up for any lack of experience.

He lifted his head, smiling darkly as he felt Naruto lean in trying to recapture his mouth. "Then don't stop," Sasuke stated.

How was it that three simple words could have such an effect on Naruto? How could it be that Sasuke's utterance of those small words erased all the warnings and fear that Naruto's brain had been trying to give him about diving in too fast, too deep? He felt himself slipping over the edge, and he knew that once he crossed this line, there would be no going back. But it was too late to matter.

There had been no declarations between them. And although Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't enter into any sort of physical intimacy lightly, he really had no idea what Sasuke wanted from him beyond this moment. All he knew for sure was that this man had the power to break him. And Naruto knew from bitter experience that it was a power that Sasuke was fully capable of wielding.

But as Sasuke's fingers dug harshly into Naruto's hips, pulling their bodies closer, Naruto knew there would be no holding back. Sasuke had owned Naruto's soul since he was twelve. No amount of time or number of battles between them had done anything to loosen that grasp.

Sasuke's tongue thrust forcefully into Naruto's mouth and he could feel the rapid pulse of Sasuke's heart as their bodies pressed together.

Naruto could feel the hard evidence of Sasuke's desire pressing against his own. He arched his head back and groaned at the feel of it. Sasuke wanted him. Wanted _him._ Even if it didn't mean to Sasuke what it meant to Naruto, he knew it wasn't just casual. Sasuke had told him that there had never been anyone else. And it certainly wasn't from lack of offers. It had to mean something. Even if Sasuke just needed someone to help him forget the terrible memories that the revelation of Danzo's files had dredged up, Naruto had been the one Sasuke had turned to.

And that in and of itself was a declaration, wasn't it? When had Sasuke ever asked him for anything? Asked anyone? If Naruto ended up smeared in the dirt at the end, he was willing to pay that price.

Naruto slid his hands from Sasuke's arms down to the lean hips, gripping them and pulling Sasuke closer, sliding him along the hard muscle of his thigh. He heard a low sound from deep in Sasuke's throat, and any ability he had to analyze what they were about to do vanished. He pulled away from their harsh kiss to trail his mouth in sucking kisses along the pale column of flesh that was creating the incredibly sexy sounds.

"Yessss," Sasuke hissed. He arched his neck back, allowing Naruto better access. He needed Naruto to keep going, to keep escalating this thing between them. It would be easier to get this from someone who wouldn't care, who would just be flattered that Sasuke allowed them to touch him. But Sasuke would never permit himself to be this unguarded with anyone else. Would never let his mind to truly let go with anyone other than Naruto.

He felt Naruto's tongue swirl in the hollow of his throat, just above his jugular. Sasuke shuddered at the hot, wet touch over a spot that was so vulnerable to attacks, where the smallest cut could bring almost immediate death. Allowing someone to touch him there went against every instinct he'd drilled into himself over the past ten years, but somehow made his cock harden further to feel Naruto's tongue there.

There was no one else he would ever trust enough to allow to touch him in this way. It would only ever be Naruto. The haze of the opium made it easier for Sasuke to do what he wanted. The feel of Naruto's lips on his skin drove out all thoughts of Danzo, Itachi... all the memories he had been running from. This was what Sasuke needed.

Just this.

He wanted more, needed there to be no space for thinking or analyzing what was happening. How long had it been since he had truly let himself go? He wasn't sure he ever really had. But he could with Naruto… the only one who understood his darkness, but cared for him anyway. Even when Sasuke no longer cared for himself.

"Fuck," Sasuke cursed, gripping Naruto's shirt and shoving it roughly up over his head. His brain was still too active. He needed to shut it down completely. He felt Naruto's hands mimic his own, unzipping his grey shirt and tossing it to the side. The hot slide of their bare chests against each other drew a ragged breath from both of them, the slight sheen of sweat causing their skin to stick and a slight suction to pull where their hard chests pressed together.

Sasuke dragged Naruto's face back up to his, pulling their mouths together and learning the play of tongues and teeth until they were both sweating and panting, their erections straining against the confines of their pants.

Annoyed with the painful pressure, Sasuke reached between them and tugged his obi off, throwing it aside. He quickly untied the drawstring of his trousers without breaking their kiss. Tan thumbs hooked into the waistband of Sasuke's pants, and made one slow, teasing circle over the smooth, pale skin in the slight dip just above the hip bones before tugging the fabric down, freeing Sasuke's erection. Sasuke closed his eyes and hissed as the cool air of the room hit his overheated flesh.

Naruto lifted his head, looking first at Sasuke's red, slightly swollen lips before allowing his gaze to trail down over the now naked length of Sasuke's body. Naruto swallowed at the perfection of the man. The porcelain skin was somehow made even more beautiful by a few thin, white scars that showed just how dangerous the owner of the skin was.

Naruto traced a finger over a small scar over one of Sasuke's ribs, noticing the way the muscles tightened beneath the touch. He felt the dark eyes on him as he slowly let his fingers trail along the hard, defined plain of Sasuke's abs to the organ that stood at rampant attention between the pale, hard-muscled thighs.

Sasuke let his eyes fall closed again as Naruto's fingers curled around his shaft. He pressed back harder against the wall, gripping it with his fingers as his mind was finally wiped clean of all thought into perfect blankness. He felt the heat of Naruto's breath ghost across his cheeks before warm lips brushed a feather-light kiss over each eyelid, as though forgiving him for the eyes that lay beneath them.

Sasuke's throat closed up, emotion swamping him. He didn't want this. It was too much. He didn't want 'gentle'. 'Gentle' made him feel too many things he was not prepared to feel.

"Naruto," he rasped, tugging the blond ninja by his waistband and almost hurling him onto the bed. Naruto's eyes narrowed as he fell back against the blood red sheets, watching as Sasuke stalked towards him with a fluid, predatory grace. "I don't want it slow," Sasuke said.

"Ok, then," Naruto said, his mouth feeling suddenly dry. But he knew Sasuke well enough to know what he was asking for.

Sasuke reached the edge of the bed. Naruto's hand shot out, wrapping around Sasuke's forearm as his leg hooked behind the Uchiha's knee, dropping Sasuke to the bed next to him. Naruto straddled him, watching the expression on Sasuke's face closely to be sure he was reading him correctly. He would give Sasuke whatever he needed. There was not a flicker of hesitation in Sasuke's dark gaze as he reached a pale hand and curled it around the back of Naruto's neck, tugging him down into another fierce kiss.

Tenderness would break him. Sasuke wanted ferocity, and an intensity that left no room for thought. The more familiar feel of power and aggression. He gripped Naruto's hips and rocked against them, his fingers biting into the flesh beneath Naruto's pants. Frustrated with the fabric, Sasuke's fingers slipped deftly under the waistband and unfastened them, jerking them down, tearing them in his haste while Naruto helpfully lifted his hips then kicked them aside.

As soon as his body was free of them, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrists and pinned them over the brunette's head, leaning forward for leverage to hold him down. "You're sure?" Naruto asked, locking his gaze to Sasuke's.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, annoyed that Naruto was in enough control to be able to voice the question. He didn't want either of them to be in control or thinking at this point. "Do I look unsure to you?" Sasuke gritted out, thrusting up against Naruto before sharply twisting his arms, breaking free of Naruto's grip and dragging the blond down so their bodies were flush together. "Stop stalling. Unless you're _scared_ ," Sasuke let his lips twist around the last word. How many times in their youth had they used that taunt?

Naruto smirked. Actually, Sasuke wasn't far off the mark, but Naruto would never admit that. So instead, he tightened his grip around Sasuke's pale wrists and lowered his head. He closed his teeth over one of Sasuke's nipples before laving it with his tongue to sooth away the pinch before repeating it again. He rocked his hips in a slow motion, providing just enough friction against their groins to let the tension build, but nowhere near enough to actually make either of them cum.

In the back of his mind, he thanked Jiraiya and his perverted writings.

Sasuke arched beneath him, increasing the pressure and speed of their thrusting. Hadn't he just said he didn't want to go slow?

Naruto released Sasuke's wrists to grip his hips, slowing the movement and earning a warning growl from Sasuke. "It's better with some build-up, I promise," Naruto said grinning at Sasuke's slightly annoyed expression.

Sasuke's hands found purchase in the blond locks again as Naruto slid down, sucking a slow trail of hickies from Sasuke's right pectoral down to just above his left hip bone. The paleness of Sasuke's flesh made the marks clearly visible and Naruto felt a surge of possessiveness at the visible proof of his presence on Sasuke's body. Deep in the recesses of his mind, he could swear he heard Kurama purr in approval. Though it might just be his own animalistic thoughts asserting themselves.

He wrapped his hand around Sasuke's leaking shaft, brushing the thumb softly against the tip several times until Sasuke was panting and arching up, desperate for harder stimulation.

"Fuck, Naruto! Hurry up!" Sasuke growled, his eyes narrowing as he heard Naruto's snicker.

"Alright, alright!" Naruto said, still smirking, though his cock had jumped at Sasuke's demanding tone. He figured he had less than a minute before Sasuke decided to completely take over and drive things at his own, much faster pace. He was actually a bit surprised that it hadn't happened already. But given what Naruto suspected Sasuke actually knew about sex, he was pretty sure it was in both their best interests if Naruto took the lead the first time. Kurama's chakra still would heal him, but Naruto wasn't really looking forward to being ripped in half if he could avoid it.

"Do you have any lube? Lotion?" At Sasuke's blank look, Naruto was glad he'd made the call he had. Jiraiya had written about anal sex a few times. Lube was the number one factor in 'partner satisfaction'.

Sasuke reached up and grabbed a small jar off his night stand. "It's salve, but that should work, right?"

Naruto opened the jar and looked at the thick, creamy gel. "Yeah, this'll do," he said smearing some on his fingers and cock before turning back to Sasuke. Naruto almost asked again if Sasuke was sure, but Sasuke's eyes had narrowed dangerously again. Naruto knew he'd better hurry up and get on with it.

Deciding Sasuke needed to be distracted if Naruto were going to do this right, he took one of his lubed hands and slowly pumped Sasuke's erection. The viscous gel reduced the friction, but created a suction from the contact that had Sasuke arching back again.

Naruto watched as Sasuke's fingers dug into the sheets and felt a drop of precum drip from his own cock at the sight. Sweat glistened over the white skin and the ruthlessly toned muscles pulled beneath it, making Sasuke look more like a living sculpture rather than a mere mortal.

"See?" Naruto breathed. "Better with the lube, yeah?"

Naruto rolled Sasuke's balls, pulling them slightly before sliding his hand back along the shaft. Sasuke didn't bother to reply beyond a groan of pleasure, but Naruto felt sure his point was made.

Naruto drew a shuddering breath, then - keeping one hand busy on Sasuke's cock - he lifted the pale hips slightly so they rested on Naruto's knees. With his lubed hand, he reached back and slowly brushed a slick finger against Sasuke's entrance, pressing gently but with enough force that Sasuke would know it was there.

When there was no rejection of this touch, Naruto slowly increased the pressure until the finger penetrated. Sasuke's eyes opened, and Naruto picked up the pace with the hand stroking Sasuke's erection and running his thumb over the slit, feeling the moisture that was still forming there.

Sasuke wasn't uneducated. He knew what the questing finger was indicating. He decided that the fact that Naruto had thought to ask for lube meant he likely knew what he was doing, so Sasuke simply lifted his hips and thrust more forcefully into Naruto's stroking palm. If he decided he didn't like the sensation, he would simply reverse their positions.

Naruto blew out a slightly nervous breath at the implied permission, wanting to make this good for Sasuke. The Uchiha seemed uncharacteristically relaxed. Naruto looked into the black eyes, noticing they were still slightly unfocused and glazed. With lust? Naruto assumed so, glad that Sasuke was so relaxed since it would make this part easier. He quickly slid his finger in deeper, angling to find the spot he knew should be located just about….

" _Ahn,_ fuck!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist, preventing him from withdrawing his hand. "Again," he said tersely.

Naruto smirked, his own cock leaking profusely at the flush of lust spreading across Sasuke's cheek bones as Naruto repeated the movement with his finger, watching the hard muscles of Sasuke's body clench in pleasure. Naruto didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hold back, but he knew he had to get this right. He inserted another finger before brushing against that spot again, using one knuckle, then a second to stretch the tight ring of muscle. He repeated this over and over until they were both shaking and sweating, his hand pumping at a harsh pace on Sasuke's cock.

He saw the muscles in Sasuke's abs clench and thought he was going to cum, but instead Sasuke jerked Naruto's hand that had been delving deeply into him, hissing at the abrupt exit and wrapped his hand around Naruto's cock, tugging him forward. "No more waiting. Fuck me now, or I will fuck you."

Naruto was pretty sure he lost a good number of brain cells as his blood surged through him at those words. Not needing to be told twice, he hitched Sasuke's knees over his shoulders and lined himself up, slowly thrusting in. When he was fully seated, they both shuddered at the level of intimacy of the sensation, so new to both of them. The feeling of being physically joined with another person was almost overwhelmingly foreign to two people who had been so alone for so much of their lives. Wide blue eyes locked on black they both held still. Their surroundings receded as their breathing locked for an instant.

Naruto felt almost helpless under the emotions that poured through him. Not knowing how else to express it, he slowly began moving, thrusting in and out as Sasuke gripped him, feeling the heat and friction where their bodies connected.

He felt Sasuke's fingers clench around his forearms, and remembered to shift the angle of his thrusts until he found the right spot.

"Fuck, yes!" Sasuke said, his face twisting in blind pleasure as Naruto picked up the speed and power of his thrusts, aiming over and over for the spot that made Sasuke's back arch in pleasure. Sasuke lifted his hips to meet him, fisting his fingers painfully in Naruto's hair and drawing their mouths together harshly before he flipped Naruto over and pinned him to the bed, straddling him.

Naruto gasped at the deeper penetration, and Sasuke smirked as he slowly rolled his hips. Naruto's eyes drifted closed and he thrust up as Sasuke shifted, their bodies moving fiercely together, the harsh rhythm and brutality of their pace befitting with who they were.

Naruto felt as though his soul was being set on fire, his whole being lit up with a consuming need to be bound to this person he had chased for so long. He watched Sasuke's face as he approached his climax, the dark eyes hooded and glazed, looking down at him.

Naruto thrust in further, watching Sasuke's body arch up, the muscles in the pale stomach and arms clenching. He never knew he could feel anything like this. Never knew how different it would feel to be joined with someone in such a primal way. He couldn't take his eyes from the way Sasuke was moving above him… so beautiful… so deadly. And so damaged. Naruto felt his throat close up momentarily, but it wasn't enough to prevent the words that were tumbling from his lips. Words that he knew he should not be saying.

"Oh, god, Sasuke. I... I've always…."

Naruto's clenched his jaw closed to keep the confession from spilling out. Sasuke was cumming, arching back as ribbons of cum streamed between them.

Naruto felt Sasuke clench around him and lost all control, thrusting upwards harshly into Sasuke until he felt his entire body lock in a shuddering orgasm. He gasped, his eyes going wide, locking on Sasuke's as the last spasms of ecstasy twisted through them. Sasuke collapsed to the side next to Naruto.

Neither spoke, the intensity and vulnerability too great at the moment. But their gazes held, filled with awe and fear and possibly hope. Something had shifted irrevocably between them, but it was as yet unarticulated and undefined.

Slowly, Sasuke ran his hand along Naruto's damaged arm, a small frown marring his flawless features. "We will wait one more hour for Kakashi. If he doesn't show by then, we'll leave him a note with directions and meet him at the hideout."

Naruto sensed the underlying worry behind Sasuke's words, and the sound of it rubbed against Naruto's already raw emotions. There had been so many times when he'd be injured so much worse, and there had been no one there to care. And now… it was Sasuke. Here. Worried about him.

Afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he wasn't careful, Naruto closed his eyes for a few minutes, getting himself under control. He could feel the weight of Sasuke's observing gaze, and could only hope that the astute eyes didn't see too much.

When he finally felt he had himself under control, he opened his eyes and turned his head to face Sasuke, smoothing a hand along Sasuke's hip.

"Well, of all the times we've been waiting on Kakashi, I have to say this was the best," Naruto said, allowing a cheeky grin to form.

"Pffftt, Usuratonkachi," Sasuke said, rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling, a small smile playing on his lips.

-xXx-

Kakashi arrived just as they were heading out. The older ninja paused, noting the way Sasuke stood protectively close as Kakashi examined Naruto's hand, but he did not comment on it.  He agreed with Tsunade that he had not seen anything like it before.

Sasuke and Naruto took their leave, while Kakashi went to report to Tsunade.

As the two ninjas walked to the village gates, Sasuke noticed the looks that people now cast at Naruto as he passed by. The blond appeared unaware of them, but Sasuke was struck by the change in types of stares the kyuubi vessel now received. Where before the looks had been filled with loathing and fear, many now eyed Naruto with open admiration and lust.

Sasuke sneered. Evidently they finally had deemed Naruto 'safe'. Now that he had fought their battles for them without ever calling them to account for their prior actions. But Naruto never once glanced back at them, his attention focused on Sasuke. Sasuke smirked, reveling in the knowledge that the blue eyes still followed only him. Though now, those same blue eyes contained a dark heat that Sasuke knew was answered back with his own gaze. He had always been possessive of Naruto's attention, but now...

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at man who's gaze followed Naruto's ass a bit too closely. The man felt the weight of Sasuke's glare, his eyes widening in fright as he realized just _whose_ eyes were glaring at him. The man quickly dropped his gaze and turned abruptly down a different street, out of range of the legendarily lethal Uchiha eyes. Sasuke felt a flash of amusement at the sight of the fleeing man. Perhaps there was something to be said for having the villagers terrified of him after all. Naruto continued on, oblivious to the entire exchange. Sasuke wondered if Naruto had just trained himself to ignore the looks he received from people due to his childhood experiences, or if Naruto truly was that oblivious. Somehow, both notions make Sasuke feel protective of the blond.

Sasuke let his gaze fall to Naruto's hand, noticing the fingers flexing slowly as if to dispel a slight numbness. He felt his jaw clench. He was going to reverse whatever seal Danzo had unleashed on Naruto. Sasuke was not going to let that dead man take anything more from him. Especially not Naruto.

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	10. Orochimaru's Library

**Summary:** The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Author's note:** Thank you to the lovely WordWriter for reading this through for me and bouncing ideas around. *hugs*

-xXx-

Naruto and Sasuke passed through the gates of Konoha and immediately set off through the trees. Sasuke took the lead, as he knew the location of the hideout. Naruto felt his eyes drift again and again to the form of his former teammate as they leapt from branch to branch with fluid grace. So many times in his youth he had trailed behind Sasuke, watching him. Studying him. Wanting him to notice Naruto as well. There was less innocence in the way his eyes followed the smooth movements of the man before him now, however. The fascination that Naruto had always had for the way that every move Sasuke made, even casual ones, seemed to be executed with ruthless precision had now twisted into a hunger to see him as he had been this morning. Back arched in pleasure, his usually expressionless face flushed and raw with lust.

Naruto's chakra flared again briefly, causing him to launch off a branch with more force than necessary, leaving a shattered limb in his wake. He saw Sasuke's head turn slightly in reprimand at the sound of the branch snapping, but then the nin was pushing on again toward their destination.

Naruto flushed and forced himself to reign his thoughts in. They hadn't spoken of the morning's events after they had showered and dressed for the mission. It hadn't been awkward, as both had found it easy to simply discuss the tactical logistics of getting to Orochimaru's. They were experienced ninjas, and mission tactics were familiar and safe to focus on. They both felt a slight nostalgia at planning the minor mission together. Naruto in particular felt his old desire to have Sasuke back not just in the village, but as a fellow Konoha ninja and teammate surge back. He had missed this. The way that Sasuke's brow creased slightly as he thought through options. The way he used so few words but still got his point across succinctly. Just the solid, intense presence of him. Naruto had missed it all so much, and having it briefly again only made him want it more.

He wanted everything more. More of Sasuke in his life on all levels. As a friend, as a teammate, as a partner. As a lover.

But he didn't know what he should do about it. Naruto knew that Sasuke would not appreciate a lengthy, drawn-out discussion on 'feelings'. It would probably send Sasuke fleeing the village faster than a warrant for his capture and immediate beheading would have. But Naruto also didn't want Sasuke to think there had been anything casual about what had happened between them that morning. At least… on Naruto's side, it hadn't been casual. He still had no idea what Sasuke thought about the whole thing. And honestly, it was making him a little bit crazy.

He didn't want to pretend to be 'just friends'. But Sasuke had barely been able to handle acknowledging a rudimentary friendship or bond of rivalry between them. This was… so much more than that. If Naruto pushed too hard, he knew he could end up with nothing.

He shook his head to clear it, weaving hand signs and sending two clones back to check to see if they were being followed. He'd been letting his attention drift, and that could be dangerous... especially since he wasn't sure how he'd do in a real fight if one came up with his hand not responding properly.

He wondered if Kakashi or an Anbu squad were following them. They had left the village with the Hokage's permission, but Sasuke was still officially under surveillance until they decided what to do with him. Once they were a bit further away from the village, Naruto would go into sage mode to be sure that they were not surprised by anyone. There was a small chance that someone could have pieced together his late night trip to see the Hokage and the presence of Sasuke with his research on Danzo. There wasn't much outside of clearing Itachi's name or seeing Danzo and the council's activities brought to light that Sasuke would be likely to take interest in. Naruto knew they had to be careful.

. . . . . .

They stopped for lunch after traveling for about three more hours. Both were used to eating quickly and in silence while on missions, so neither attempted conversation nor were bothered by the lack of it.

Naruto finished quickly and immediately stilled himself, closing his eyes and focusing on drawing in nature energy. He wouldn't need to remain in sage mode the entire journey, but he at least wanted to check their surroundings to find out if there were being followed by anyone.

Sasuke seemed to understand what Naruto was doing, as he didn't ask any questions and simply watched with mild curiosity as Naruto's lids began to darken to the tell-tale orange that indicated he was entering sage mode. The level of concentration and utter stillness of the usually boisterous and energetic ninja gave Sasuke pause. He had practiced meditation for years, as did all members of the Uchiha clan, and he was able to recognize complete focus when he saw it.

It was not something that he would immediately have thought Naruto would have been capable of doing, but there was no denying it here. In the final battle, Naruto had been in tailed beast mode, making the process go much faster. Evidently with Kurama asleep, he wasn't able (or didn't want to) do that, so he had to rely on the traditional sage method and longer meditation.

Sasuke knew that becoming a sage generally took years, if not decades. Yet somehow, Naruto had managed in under a year. He smirked. It wasn't really surprising, he supposed. When had Naruto ever allowed himself to do anything in a predictable manner?

As Naruto's eyes opened, full of focus and power, Sasuke felt a strange emotion in him that he couldn't really identify. It wasn't fear. It wasn't jealousy. Sasuke didn't deny part of it was lust. Power was something Uchihas were trained to respect. But there was something else mixed with the attraction. It felt almost like… pride. But that made no sense. He had nothing to do with Naruto's training. Though he hadn't heard the full story, he knew that Naruto had begun his training to become a sage after learning of Jiraiya's death. If anyone should feel pride in Naruto's accomplishments, it would be Jiraiya. Still, he wondered how Naruto had accomplished it. It was one of the many things about Naruto's life in his absence that he didn't know.

Sasuke shrugged the thought aside as Naruto finished scanning the area. "We're not being followed… not even by Anbu."

They were both a bit surprised by that. Tsunade must have ordered that they be left alone, which was unexpected.

Naruto turned away, looking in the direction they had been traveling. Being in sage mode made him even more aware of the man accompanying him. He could feel Sasuke's energy, that signature life force that was uniquely his own. He could feel it connect with him, a minute part of it merging with his own energy. Humans were part of nature, and even though he drew in only a tiny amount from Sasuke, he could feel it in every cell of his body.

It didn't help that he could feel Sasuke's emotions as well. He had felt the slight edge of lust that had tinged Sasuke's thoughts as Naruto had entered sage mode. Using it in battle, Naruto had only focused on detecting a general sense of things like the will to kill or cause harm. But evidently, he could sense other emotions as well. Thing like sexual attraction. It was subtle. But it was enough that it set Naruto's already hyper-aware brain into overdrive, remembering the events of the morning together. He wondered briefly what it would be like to have sex with Sasuke while he was in sage mode, to be able to feel the emotions as well as see them in his lover's face. Naruto shivered slightly, his hands breaking out in a sweat at just the thought.

But he had promised himself that he would not push. He would give Sasuke what he needed, and not ask for more. That meant he needed to focus on something other than feel of the heat and life and movements of his traveling companion. He was glad that he hadn't drawn in very much energy. He could already feel the sage mode fading, bringing at least the chance for sanity to come back to him.

"Let's keep going," Naruto said tersely.

Sasuke raised a brow at the tone, but didn't comment. Naruto was usually in a hurry even if there was no need to be. Given that they had no idea what was happening to the blond ninja's arm, he supposed that Naruto had the right to seem tense.

They took off again through the trees. They wouldn't rest again until they reached Orochimaru's lair.

-xXx-

"You're sure, Kakashi?" Tsunade asked, her amber eyes hopeful.

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "I know what sex looks like. Unlike some others I know, I actually try to get a little action every now and then."

Tsunade flicked her pen at him in irritation. He dodged it easily, not surprised when it hit the wall with enough force to actually pass through it, cracks radiating outward from the small hole it had left. He wondered briefly what the annual maintenance bill was for the Hokage tower. It must have tripled since Tsunade had taken up residence.

"You're lucky they didn't catch you spying on them," she said, deciding to ignore his comment.

"They were rather… pre-occupied. I have to say, I'm quite proud that my two star students appear to show excellent skills in _all_ areas."

"Pervert," Tsunade said, though her lips twitched into a smile. "Though I bet Jiraiya had a little something to do with Naruto's skills. After all, he taught you everything you know through those books of his."

"Maa," Kakashi said, his eyes scrunching as he grinned beneath his mask. "I had a few other teachers that were more… hands-on along the way that might have helped."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Well, you got an eye full, it sounds like. Just don't make it a habit of spying on your students having sex."

Kakashi lifted his hands innocently. "I wasn't _spying_. I felt Naruto's chakra surge, and then Sasuke's. I had to go check to see what was happening and make sure they weren't trying to kill each other. Again."

"Hmm," she said skeptically, guessing that Kakashi had his own reasons for wanting to 'check'. "Well, at least we know that things are… progressing. I called off the Anbu squad from following them. If they like to use their chakra while they're going at it, I don't want them getting interrupted because some over-zealous ninja thinks they're trying to kill each other."

"You know, Jiraiya used to say that fighting with a ninja of equal skill is very much like -"

"I _know_ what the old pervert used to say," Tsunade said primly. Then a wicked smile crossed her lips so quickly that Kakashi almost missed it. "Who do you think told him that?"

A thought crossed her mind, and her eyes twinkled mischievously. "So… since you were peeking… who topped?"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I was a bit surprised with that one, actually."

Tsunade's grin turned gloating. "It sounds like I won the bet. The damn kid is the only thing I never seem to lose on. And, of course, I assume you remember the price of our wager."

Kakashi suppressed a groan. Damn Uchiha brat. He sighed. He supposed it served him right for betting on Sasuke over Naruto. You'd think he would have learned by now.

-xXx-

They traveled for another five hours without resting or speaking. Sasuke abruptly motioned with his hand that they were going to stop and landed silently on the ground at what initially looked like just another pile of rocks in the middle of the woods.

"We're here," he said, walking over to one of the boulders and placing his hand over what turned out to be a seal concealed there. A small pulse of chakra had a piece of the rock shifting away, revealing a tunnel that led steeply underground, lit on either side by glowing crystals held in sconces. _Typical Orochimaru decor_ , Naruto thought. What was it with that guy and dark, gloomy caves, anyway?

Something about the small clearing triggered something in Naruto's memory.

"Shit!" Naruto said. "I remember coming here once before, when we were looking for your sorry ass. We couldn't find the entrance anywhere. We spent like three days looking around this place."

Sasuke smirked. "You just didn't know where to look, Dobe."

Naruto grumbled, but followed Sasuke inside. Sasuke paused at another seal, laying his palm over it, and the entrance closed.

"No one's been here recently," Sasuke said complacently. "We won't be disturbed while we're here."

Naruto's scowl deepened at Sasuke's obvious familiarity with the inner workings of the place. Evidently Orochimaru had felt close enough to Sasuke to trust him with things like the secrets of how to enter and exit the compounds.

The thought had Naruto's anger rising. He had been so worried for Sasuke. Even though Sasuke had left willingly, Naruto somehow had thought that Orochimaru had been holding his friend against his will once he had gotten there, doing terrible things to him until he was ready to take over his body. But Sasuke had been… Orochimaru's ally. A trusted confidant, at least on some levels.

Had they been friends? Had Sasuke admired the man as more than a source of power?

Naruto's fists clenched. Orochimaru was back now. _Sasuke_ had brought him back. And he had already talked about going to him again.

"Naruto?" Sasuke had stopped, and was looking at Naruto, his face expressionless.

Naruto tried to calm himself down. What could he say to Sasuke? Sasuke wasn't even officially a Konoha ninja anymore. He could basically do what he wanted now. The big question was: what did Sasuke want? Naruto had no idea.

When Naruto said nothing, Sasuke turned and continued walking down the corridor. This hideout was smaller than the one that he and Team 7 had searched for with Yamato the one time they had actually tracked down Sasuke. There were probably only about a dozen rooms. Without hesitation, Sasuke walked to a door towards the end of the hall and executed a series of complicated hand signs before placing his palm on the door, unlocking it.

The door opened, and Sasuke walked into a large room filled floor to ceiling with books and scrolls. Naruto didn't know much about scholarly things, but he knew that the knowledge in this room was probably worth a small fortune.

"He must have really trusted you," Naruto said, his voice low.

Sasuke stilled, then turned to face him.

"Orochimaru. I mean, the one thing that guy valued was knowledge. He wouldn't share this lightly. My guess is that, aside from Kabuto, you're the only one he gave access to places like this."

Sasuke said nothing for a moment, then shrugged. "Probably."

Naruto didn't know why he suddenly felt like punching Sasuke in the face and crying all at the same time. He had known, on some level, that Sasuke had been willing. Hell, Sasuke had put a hole in his fucking chest to get away from him when he'd gone to Orochimaru. But to see this… to see the _proof_ of how much of a partner Orochimaru had viewed Sasuke, even if in the end Sasuke had beheaded him…

Naruto turned on his heel and walked out of the library. He knew he couldn't actually leave the compound without knowing how to activate the seal, but he couldn't look at Sasuke right then.

He got about halfway down the hall before he stopped and put his fist through the wall. He could feel the shards of rock cutting into his flesh, but he didn't care.

"You're angry," Sasuke said from behind him.

Naruto didn't turn to face him. "Yeah, no fucking shit, Sasuke."

Sasuke eyed him for a moment without saying anything. "Why now?" he asked finally.

Naruto looked at him, not sure he could speak without completely losing it. "Why now? Because I spent years chasing after you, searching for you, trying to keep you from being killed or… or... _worse_. And the whole time, you were playing fucking _house_ with him. You clearly could have left at any time, and… _dammit Sasuke!_ "

Sasuke let out a breath, keeping his eyes warily on Naruto. "You know why I left, Naruto. You _know_. So you know why I couldn't come back."

Naruto swallowed convulsively. Because he _did_ know. But it didn't help. It didn't make the hurt or the anger or the loneliness that he had felt any less.

"I just… I wanted to be the one you turned to for help," Naruto said finally. "I wanted to be there for you. To be strong enough that…"

Sasuke stood there for a moment, letting Naruto flounder, before he finally admitted. "It wasn't about that."

"Bullshit," Naruto said, his voice low and rough with anger. "That's bullshit and you know it. It's always been about power with you."

Sasuke reached down, taking Naruto's wrist and looking at the bloody gashes in his already damaged hand. "You know, if you really don't want this hand, you should just cut it off. It would be much less trouble."

He could see some of the smaller scratches already starting to close. Another demonstration of the Kyuubi's power, even when dormant. But the slight discoloration of the flesh of Naruto's cursed hand seemed darker than when they had left. Sasuke frowned. He wasn't sure if it had been affected by the physical trauma, or Naruto's use of sage mode… or if Tsunade's work was slowly being undone by the seal itself.

Naruto jerked his hand away from Sasuke's grasp and stood. "Let's go see if we can find anything in your library," Naruto said, his voice closed off. "The sooner we do, the sooner we can get back to the village."

Sasuke stood unmoving for a moment before slowly following Naruto back into the library. Naruto appeared to be randomly picking up books and flipping through them before putting them back on the shelf.

"Do you even know what you're looking for?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto didn't look at him. "I'm not a _genius_ like you and Orochimaru, so I'm just looking for anything that talks about seals or has a symbol like the one that activated on Danzo's papers."

Sasuke sighed and walked over to his pack. "Stop. You're bleeding all over the books."

Naruto snapped the book he had been flipping through closed, then put it back on the shelf with slightly more force than was necessary. He drew a deep breath, clearly trying to get a hold of his temper, then walked over to where Sasuke was reached into his pack, pulling out a jar of salve. Naruto eyed the jar, recognizing it immediately, his face flushing slightly. Sasuke just quirked a brow at his reaction, but Naruto could see amusement flicker in the dark depths of Sasuke's gaze.

He grabbed Naruto's wrist and opened the jar with his other hand.

"You don't need to bother," Naruto said gruffly. "It will be healed by morning anyway. I never bother with minor stuff like this."

Sasuke frowned at the words, but finished applying the ointment without comment. He unwound a length of the tape around his wrist, biting it off at the end rather than using his kunai to cut it. "I just don't want you messing up the books," he said finally.

Naruto allowed Sasuke to wind the length of tape around his damaged hand, though the bleeding had already stopped. Surely Sasuke had noticed that? But Naruto decided not to push it. It was… nice to have Sasuke touching him. Even if it was just to protect his precious books.

Sasuke finished wrapping Naruto's hand, but didn't immediately release it. He looked at the bandages for a few moments as though he were working out what to say. But then he jaw clenched, and he stood abruptly without saying anything and headed to a section midway through the room. "All of the information on seals that can inflict chakra damage are in this part of the library."

He began pulling out books from the middle of a large shelf. Some of the books were in languages that Naruto didn't even recognize, but Sasuke appeared to have no trouble reading them.

"You're more powerful than Orochimaru, you know," Sasuke said, not lifting his gaze from the tome he was flipping through.

Naruto blinked, not really sure what Sasuke was getting at.

Sasuke finally looked up at him. "Are you going to help me look through these, or are you just going to stand there?"

Naruto took a few steps forward, pulling books from the same area that were written in a language that he understood. "What am I looking for, exactly?" He scratched the back of his head nervously. He suddenly felt a bit like he'd felt back in the academy and he'd been light years behind Sasuke in everything. Academic research was… definitely not his thing.

"Anything that talks about chakra sealing, or reaper seals. Or seals that contain or weaken bijuu's, since they're chakra beings. They'll all be related," Sasuke said, putting two books back and setting one aside for further research.

-xXx-

Naruto felt something rough and damp against his cheek. He opened his eyes to see that - at some point - he'd fallen asleep on the cold stone floor of Orochimaru's library. And evidently drooled. With an annoyed grunt, he wiped the dampness from his cheek, then rubbed his eyes wearily.

They had been at it for hours before Naruto had finally succumbed to sleep, his poor brain simply unable to deal with the sea of letters and facts and information in book after book. Sasuke was in exactly the same position he had been the last time Naruto had seen him, sitting in a chair at one of the two library desks, piles of books and scrolls on either side of him while he jotted down notes on a piece of parchment. Naruto wasn't sure how long ago he had fallen asleep, but judging by the crick in his neck from sleeping in a strange position, it had been several hours.

Knowing that Sasuke hadn't gotten any more sleep than he had the night before, Naruto levered himself up and walked over to the Uchiha.

"You should sleep," Naruto said softly.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, not looking up.

"There's no rush. Tsunade healed a lot of the damage and stopped the seal from spreading," Naruto said, pulling a chair next to Sasuke and looking over his shoulder to see what the nin was reading. It wasn't a language Naruto recognized.

"Your hand is darker, Naruto. And the discoloration has now reached your wrist. It was only to the heel of your palm when we left the village," Sasuke said, not taking his eyes from the book. "Tsunade has never seen a seal like this. Which means she doesn't actually know what she's doing. Or how much time we have left. The original intent of the seal Danzo placed was to incapacitate and kill anyone who touched it. And Danzo is generally a very thorough man."

Naruto looked down at his hand. Truthfully, it was hurting quite a bit more than it had yesterday when they'd left the village. His whole body was beginning to feel fatigued, and for him, it was a very unusual sensation. He had never tired easily. And Sasuke knew this as well.

"Sasuke -" Naruto began.

"No. I am not going to just sit around and hope she figures it out on her own. I'm not going to let…" Sasuke snapped his mouth closed. "If you're tired, there are bedrooms to the left of this room. They don't require a seal to enter."

"Sasuke," Naruto said again, gently pulling the book from Sasuke's hands. "You need to sleep, too. We'll start fresh in the morning."

Sasuke looked at him, clearly annoyed. "You're going to bother me until I get some sleep, aren't you?"

"Yes," Naruto said, grabbing Sasuke's wrist despite the glare and tugging him up.

"Fine," Sasuke said. They walked to a room that had two twin beds. Sasuke lay down in one, and Naruto in another. Within a few minutes, Naruto was asleep. Sasuke felt a slither of unease at how quickly and deeply Naruto had slid into sleep. He had done missions with Naruto in their youth, and knew that the blond typically took at least thirty minutes to fall asleep, even dropping with exhaustion from a mission. Something was clearly draining his chakra, and Sasuke was pretty sure it was the seal.

He stood, looking down at Naruto's sleeping form. There was no way he was going to sleep before he had gone through every possible scrap of information in the library. He not been able to stop Danzo from killing his clan and destroying his brother. He had found out years too late to do anything other than grieve.

But it was different this time. He would be damned if he let Danzo win.

Sasuke went back to the library, picking up the book he had been reading before Naruto had interrupted him. He tried to focus his mind on the task at hand, but found his thoughts straying to what had been happening between him and Naruto over the past few days.

The intensity of the whole thing had thrown him off completely. He was used to being in control, of knowing what he wanted and pursuing it single mindedly, with complete focus. But he was not in control of this. Whatever ' _this'_ was between him and Naruto. He felt only slightly better knowing that Naruto wasn't either.

The utter fear that had swamped through him when he had seen Naruto slump over while he was reading, thinking for a moment that something had happened with the seal and…

Sasuke drew a breath. He had sworn he would never care for anyone again, would never risk the crushing loss that he had faced as a child. Rationally, he knew he should step back from Naruto. He should help find a cure for whatever it was Danzo had tried to do, and then he should walk away.

Naruto already had his own path that no longer required Sasuke. Naruto would be Hokage. He had the respect of most of the ninjas of Konoha and beyond. He didn't need Sasuke they way he had in his youth. And as for what had happened between them the other day...

Naruto would eventually find someone else for that as well, if Sasuke left. The Hyuuga girl. Or Sai. The level of anger that spiked through him at the thought of Naruto being with either of them in that way left Sasuke's hands shaking, despite the fact that it was the logical choice for both of them.

He re-opened the book, focusing on the words on the page. He couldn't deal with this now. He needed to focus on finding a way to undo Danzo's seal.

He was not going to dwell on why he felt like it was his own life that hung in the balance, rather than Naruto's.

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	11. Worry and discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the lovely WordWriter for reading this and giving input!

**Author’s note:** So… there is an ugly downside to drugs.  Sasuke will begin to find that out in this chapter.

-xXx-

Naruto woke in the small bed, feeling somewhat better than he had earlier.  He didn’t need to roll over to tell that he was alone in the room.  He sighed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and scrubbing his fingers through his hair, trying to stimulate blood flow to his scalp and help him wake up.  He had no idea how long he’d been asleep.  That was unusual for an experience ninja who had to wake at the right time for taking over watch duty or pushing through to arrive at a destination on schedule.  The only other time he had really slept like this was when he had found out about Sasuke…

Naruto shivered, pushing that memory back.  He didn’t want to show it in front of Sasuke, but Naruto was worried.  He never got sick, and he wasn’t used to getting an injury that Kurama couldn’t heal.  He always woke up recovered from whatever had happened.  But this… Naruto examined his hand.  The discoloration seemed to have been pushed back to the heel of his hand, the wrist now looking normal.

Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief.  Maybe when he’d injured himself, Kurama’s chakra had briefly focused on repairing the physical damage rather than fighting the seal, and the seal had spread.  But now that his body was recovered, the bijuu chakra was pushing back against the seal.

Naruto stood and stretched, then placed a hand on the sheets of the bed where Sasuke had slept.  They were completely cold, which meant that Sasuke had been up for some time.   _If he had even slept to begin with._ Naruto frowned, though he did feel something at the knowledge that Sasuke was this concerned for him.  But he didn’t want to add to the things that Sasuke was worrying about… he had wanted to be the one who helped Sasuke, not the other way around.

Naruto walked back to the library, relieved to see that Sasuke had left the door open.

Sasuke looked up from the scroll he was reading as Naruto entered the room.  His eyes swept over the blond quickly, betraying none of the intense relief he felt at seeing the younger ninja awake and alert.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” Naruto asked, his tone slightly accusing.

Sasuke shrugged.  “I never said I was going to,” he said, completely unconcerned.  Deception and misdirection were core tools of a ninja, after all.  It was a skill, not a fault.

Naruto sighed.  “Have you found anything?”  He looked over at the pile of books on the desk where Sasuke was sitting.  It was much smaller than it had been when he had gone to sleep.

Sasuke tapped three tomes.  “The most interesting information is in these.  The first goes into details on how the reaper seal works, though here they refer to it as the ‘dead demon consuming scroll’.  It was invented by the Uzumaki clan, interestingly.  It binds the chakra energy to the spiritual energy of the person wielding it so that the chakra is carried off with the wielder’s departing soul.  It doesn’t seem as though that would work given that Danzo bound it to an inanimate object.”

Naruto nodded.  “I don’t think Danzo actually ever had a soul to begin with, so I’m pretty sure he couldn’t use that one,” Naruto joked.

Sasuke blinked, then his lips twitched as he breathed out a small chuckle, then looking surprised at himself for having done so. It had been… a long time since he’d laughed about anything. Somehow it shouldn’t come as a surprise that it was Naruto who made him react.

“Anyway, this second one describes the technique that Nagato used to draw that tailed beasts into the statue.  Obviously, there is a big difference between the body of the juubi and the size of the chakra in a tailed beast compared to a book and a regular ninja’s chakra, but it lays out the theory of how it would be done.  In order to know if the seal is actually transferring your chakra to the book, we’d have to see the book to know what was happening.”

“Baa-chan has the book,” Naruto said, serious again.  “It’s in the Hokage tower, fully sealed.  It will be safe until we get back.”

Sasuke nodded tiredly.  

“So what about the third book?” Naruto asked.

“The third book talks about seals that actually focus on destroying the chakra pathways, rather than the chakra itself.  The discoloration on your skin is what made me think of this.  If the tissue is actually being damaged, it could be because the seal is destroying the body rather than the chakra.  Either can produce death if the end result is zero chakra.”

Naruto looked down at his hand again, trying to hide his nerves at the options that were being laid out.  “The discoloration subsided a bit while I was sleeping,” Naruto said, showing his hand to Sasuke. “My guess is that Kurama’s chakra is enough to combat whatever is going on as long as it isn’t busy healing other kinds of wounds.”

An irritated look crossed Sasuke’s face.  “Then don’t do stupid things like punch walls, Dobe.”

Naruto felt his temper flare briefly, but then he took in the worried, exhausted look on Sasuke’s face.  “How long did I sleep for, anyway?”

Sasuke shrugged as though the answer didn’t worry him.  “Almost a day.”  Naruto didn’t need to know that Sasuke had checked on him every hour to see if the curse mark was spreading and check his breathing.

“What!?”  Naruto felt a combination of shock and panic.  For him to have been out that long and completely vulnerable to attack was a frightening idea.  Of course… Sasuke had been here.  Would he have protected Naruto if an enemy had come?  After all, it wasn’t that long ago that Sasuke had tried to kill him.  But now… Naruto looked at Sasuke, unaware of just how much vulnerability and uncertainty was showing in his blue eyes.

“I sent a message to Tsunade letting her know that we would likely be another day before heading back so she won’t be expecting us until tomorrow,” Sasuke said calmly.

Naruto turned, pretending to look at the books rather than Sasuke at the moment while he tried to calm himself. He didn’t want to appear weak in front of this man.  “Sorry,” Naruto mumbled.  “I didn’t realize I was… so tired.  You’ve been awake for more than two days.  You rest. I’ll stand guard. When you wake we can talk about how to figure out if one of these curse types is what Danzo used or not.  It will probably be fastest if we take these books back and see if Tsunade has turned up anything.”

“I don’t think we should rest.  We should head back as soon as possible,” Sasuke said, frowning.

“No,” Naruto said firmly.   “My hand is not a hundred percent.  If we engage in a battle, one of us needs to be in fighting condition.  You’re pale and exhausted.  You need to rest before we leave.  We don’t know if any of Danzo’s allies are aware of what we’re doing.  We can’t take chances.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but didn’t disagree.  “Fine.  I’ll sleep for five hours, then we leave.”

Naruto nodded.  “I’ll stand watch.”

“If you want to make yourself useful, you can look through this section,” Sasuke said, indicating two shelves on the other side of the library.  “If there is anything here on repairing chakra pathways, it would be there.”

Naruto nodded, feeling slightly less certain about his ability to do medical research than he was about his ability to stand guard, but if nothing else, it would give him something to do while Sasuke slept.

They quickly ate some of the rations from their packs, then Sasuke headed to the bedroom where Naruto had slept earlier.

-xXx-

Sasuke lay down in the narrow bed, his eyes aching from reading for so many hours on end.  He had always been prone to eye strain, and knew he would likely have headaches for the next day or so from this.  But it was worth it.  He had found at least two solid leads on what the seal likely was.  And once they understood how it worked, they’d be able to find a counter for it.

He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to sleep.  His mind kept traveling back to the previous day, when Naruto had slept so unnaturally quickly and deeply.  He felt the knot of anxiety twist again in his stomach.  Why was he feeling this way about it?  He had barely spoken to Naruto except to threaten to kill him for the better part of five years.  Why this sudden… _worry_?  

He had heard about the battle with Pein.  Sakura was one of many who had told him what had happened. How Naruto had trained and fought… and won.  When the entire village had been defeated, even the Hokage.  Sasuke had met Nagato when he had joined the Akatsuki, and he wasn’t sure he would have won if he had been in Naruto’s place.  Not that he ever would have.  He felt no urge to defend Konoha, knowing its secrets as he now did.  Naruto had experience the dark side of the village much longer than Sasuke had, but somehow was still willing to fight for it.  It was something that Sasuke would never understand, but he could at least respect it.  For consistency if nothing else.

But the point was that Sasuke knew Naruto was strong.  He had allies. Tsunade would probably be able to figure out the same things Sasuke had.  Surely the Hokage library had as much information as Orochimaru’s library did.  Sasuke turned restlessly.  Somehow, he just couldn’t take the chance.

Even with the knowledge he had gleaned, they still needed to go back to Konoha for the actual treatment.  Sasuke was not a medic nin.  He had chakra control, but not at the level required to probe the individual chakra pathways that would be required.  They needed Tsunade.  Drawing in years of mental discipline, Sasuke stilled his movements and slowed his breathing, forcing himself into an uneasy sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

He was cold.  Shivering.  His whole body hurt.  Was he injured?  What had happened? His mind seemed foggy… he couldn’t seem to focus.

Someone was… touching him.  Sasuke’s eyes flared open, Sharingan swirling.

“Whoa, Sasuke! It’s just me,” Naruto said, lifting his hands placatingly from where they had been gently shaking Sasuke’s shoulder.  Sasuke looked at him groggily.  His head was pounding, though he knew he hadn’t been drinking the night before.  Naruto’s blue eyes shone with concern.  “Are you sick?  You’re drenched in sweat and shivering.”

Sasuke looked down at where his body was visibly shaking beneath the thin blanket.  It was freezing in here.  Why was he sweating?  He flinched when he felt a hand touch his brow.  “You might have a low fever, but you look like hell.”

Sasuke’s legs twitched involuntarily, and he shifted them restlessly. “Yeah, you were doing that a lot, too.  Chasing rabbits in your sleep?” Naruto joked half-heartedly, his eyes showing increased concern at Sasuke’s continued silence.

“How long have I been asleep?” Sasuke asked, forcing the words out with significant effort.  What the hell was going on? It felt sort of like he had the flu, but the onset was so much more sudden than usual, and Naruto had said he didn’t feel like he had a high fever…  Sasuke’s brain shied around an idea that was trying to float to the surface, denial shutting it down before his brain could even articulate it.  It could _not_ be that.

“... five hours,” Naruto was saying.

“What?” Sasuke said, forcing himself to focus.

“You’ve been asleep for five hours.  You said you wanted to leave after five hours, so I came to wake you up, but… you were really out of it. I had to shake you.”

Sasuke froze.  Naruto had to _shake_ him?  That was not possible.  After years of living on the run, Sasuke always woke at the slightest disturbance.  What the fuck was going on?  He sat up, forcing his body to obey him and was instantly rewarded with a wave of nausea.  He fought it back.  He knew where some basic medical supplies were, and he slowly pulled himself to his feet, willing his legs to hold him steady despite their aching protests.

Naruto was beside him in an instant, an arm reaching out as though to support Sasuke.  Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, and while he didn’t go so far as to activate the Sharingan, the threat was clear.  Naruto withdrew his hand.

“I’m fine.  I just need to get some medical supplies, then we’ll head out.”

Naruto looked at him skeptically but was wise enough to not speak.  Sasuke walked to the bedroom door, throwing a look over his shoulder at Naruto.  “Are you coming?  I’m not going to wait for you.”

Naruto followed silently, but Sasuke could feel the assessing weight of the blond’s gaze on his back, as though waiting for Sasuke to keel over.  That was not going to happen.

When they reached a door midway down the hall, Sasuke opened it with a simple set of hand seals and stepped inside.  He walked over to a small metal table next to a medical examination table.  He turned to see Naruto’s gaze widening at the sight of the heavy metal shackles on either side of the table, and smirked.  “You can’t be surprised.”

Naruto blinked owlishly, and Sasuke ignored him in favor of opening the drawers of the table to find what he was looking for.  He took out the thermometer, wiping it down with alcohol before putting it in his mouth.  While he was waiting for it to take the reading he rummaged through the shelves.  He hoped Naruto was as ignorant about medicines as he used to be.  His hands were shaking with need now.  He already knew that the thermometer was not likely going to show a fever.  He didn’t have the flu.  He had witnessed the symptoms of withdrawal enough to recognize them in himself, even if at first his brain had rejected the possibility.

Anger simmered through him.  This was not supposed to happen to him.  He wasn’t some uneducated junkie.  He had been careful.  He had been in control.  He never used two days in a row, and he was careful not to use too much.  This shouldn’t be happening.  He smashed his fist down on the shelf, sending several bottles of liquid smashing to the floor.  “Shit!”  

Naruto’s eye widened at the uncharacteristic loss of control by the Uchiha.  Sasuke forced his hands to stillness, trying to regain his usual stoic mask.

It wasn’t here.  Orochimaru had - at various times - used opium derivatives as pain medicine, both for himself and his ‘experiments’.  Sasuke felt an unfamiliar sense of panic set in.  He didn’t have time to deal with withdrawal right now.  They needed to get back to the village before the curse seal spread. Even going hard at full speed, it was almost a day’s journey back to the village.  He didn’t have time for this.  He was furious at himself for allowing this weakness.  For his weakness to be putting Naruto at risk was… unacceptable.  He knew telling Naruto to leave him behind and return without him would be impossible.  Naruto’s reaction when they’d arrived at Orochimaru’s hideout had indicated that Naruto’s possessive need to keep him in the village had only grown.  The thought didn’t anger him the way it did in the past, but he had no time to examine how he felt about that now.

He needed to figure out how to get them back as soon as possible.  He would stop using the drug as soon as this was over. But he knew that withdrawal was going to get much worse before it got better.  He had seen long-term users in Orochimaru’s dungeons (some willing, some unwilling), and only hoped his wouldn’t be that bad.

He looked around the room, knowing that Orochimaru would be annoyed that he was leaving a mess in the lab, but he wasn’t going to stick around and clean it up.  They had to get going before he got worse.

“Let’s go,” Sasuke said tersely, turning and walking back to the bedroom where he had set his katana and pack.  He ignored the way his hand shook when he picked up the katana and slung it over his back.  They didn’t have time for this.

Naruto was hovering, “Why don’t you just sleep some more.  I’m sure you’ll feel better after a little more -”

“We’re leaving.  Hurry up,” Sasuke snapped.  He had to make it back to his house before the withdrawal symptoms got any worse.  Just the thought of breathing in the vaporized drug had him licking his lips, his whole body shaking with need.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something more but was cut off by another glare as Sasuke grabbed his pack and stalked to the library. Naruto followed more slowly, clearly concerned as he watched Sasuke put the three books as well as his notes into his pack.  Naruto hurriedly stuffed everything back in his own pack as Sasuke turned without a word and headed for the exit.  

As soon as they were outside, Sasuke launched himself into the trees, ignoring the pain and cramping of his muscles and the almost uncontrollable shivering of his body.  He could feel Naruto’s worried gaze on him, and it pissed him off.  But not nearly as much as his own weakness did.  This was not supposed to happen.  He never let personal weakness interfere with a mission.  He was not about to start now.

-xXx-

They had only been traveling for about two hours whenSasuke fell to his knees on the forest floor, emptying his stomach, his whole body shaking.  How could this be happening?  He had been so careful.  He hadn’t even been taking it the drug that long.  And he was careful not to use every day.  Why was he this sick?  At this rate they wouldn’t be back to the village for days.  Mentally cursing himself for his weakness, he tried to force himself to stand.  They had to keep going.

He felt Naruto crouch beside him, a warm hand landing gently on his back. “Sasuke, stop.  We need to rest here for a bit.  You’re sick.  You can’t keep pushing yourself.”

Sasuke felt Naruto’s had move soothingly on his back.  “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Sasuke was so angry.  He felt completely out of control.  He had so much adrenaline pumping through him, but with none of the usual accompanying endorphins to take away the edge.  The fact that he knew what was happening in his body chemically didn’t help lessen what he was going through.  Somehow it just made him even angrier.  He was better than this.  He was too smart for this to happen.  A series of tremors wracked his frame.  

He looked up to see Naruto’s face, blue eyes full of hurt, worry, and confusion.  Sasuke clenched his jaw to keep from lashing out at Naruto again.  None of this was the blond’s fault.  Sasuke had done this to himself.  His fingers tensed, digging into the soil beneath him.  He could not let this slow them down.  He would not let his own weakness put Naruto at risk.  

He forced himself to stand, drawing in a deep breath.  “We need to keep going.”

“Sasuke, stop.  Just… stop! You need to rest, we need to get you to the hospital, and -”

“No!” Sasuke felt a flash of panic at the thought of anyone else finding out about his mistake.  It was bad enough that he’d had to admit it to himself.  He would never reveal such a weakness to the idiots at Konoha hospital.

“Sasuke, please…” Naruto’s voice was pleading.  “Don’t do this. We have time.”

Sasuke turned, looking his friend directly in the eye.  “We don’t have time, Naruto.  We may have found out what the seal is doing to you, but we still have to find a way to reverse it.  And I don’t know how long that will take.  We can’t just waste time until I _feel_ better,” Sasuke sneered.

“You can’t keep going like this.  If you pass out, I’ll just have to carry you.  You need medical attention, Sasuke, you need -”

“I’ll be fine as soon as I get back to my house. I have what I need to get better there.”

Naruto blinked.  If it were anyone else, Sasuke would have said that Naruto looked suspicious.  “Medicine?  You knew you were sick when you came?  Fuck, Sasuke, you should have told me!”

Sasuke looked away from the hurt he could feel coming off the blond.  Clearly, Naruto thought that Sasuke hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him what had been going on.  And in a way, he was right.  Sasuke didn’t want to discuss this with anyone.  It was his own business. His own decision.  And he would handle the consequences of his mistake.  

He would go back to his apartment.  He’d take one more dose of the opium to get his body back under control.  He’d use it long enough to see this thing through with Naruto’s hand, then he’d throw the rest of the paste away and never touch it again.  

Sasuke had no patience for addiction.  He would not let something like this control him. It was irritating enough to know that he had miscalculated the amount required for physical addiction.

“Look, we’re not even a quarter of the way home.  You’re clearly getting worse.  We need to get back faster,” Naruto said, half talking to himself.

Sasuke glared.  “That’s why I’m trying to get us moving again, dumbass.”

Naruto licked his lips nervously.  “We could try… I mean, I’ve been practicing…”

“What are you trying to say,” Sasuke said tersely.

“Well, you know that jutsu that the Second and my… dad… used.”

Sasuke noticed the way Naruto’s voice softened when he referred to his father.  Yet another thing that they hadn’t really discussed. “The Hiraishin no jutsu?”

“Yeah… the teleportation thing.  I… well… I’ve been working on it.  And… I think… I figured out how to do it.”

Sasuke frowned skeptically.  There was no halfway with a jutsu that sucked you into another space-time dimension and spat you back out somewhere else.  “You _think_?”

“Well… I mean… I’ve never tried it over long distances, and I only just got it to work once, but… yeah, I think I could get us home.”

“You need to mark your destination with a seal first, remember, idiot?”  Sasuke said, irritated that they were even talking about this when they needed to get going.

“I have a mark in my apartment,” Naruto said.  “And as long as I’m in physical or chakra contact with someone else, I should be able to teleport the both of just, just like… Dad did.”

Sasuke paused, trying to weigh the risks.  Given his worsening physical condition, he was unlikely to be able to keep even a third of the pace they had used on the way out.  That meant it would be a minimum of three days to get back.  Who knows what could happen to Naruto’s hand in the meantime. Not to mention the fact that his own condition was likely to worsen significantly, and he would prefer to go through that in the privacy of his own home.

Naruto could make a clone to carry him, but - even if Sasuke were willing to accept that humiliation, which he wasn’t - chakra use could aggravate the seal in Naruto’s again and they would still be most of a day away.  This method would be practically instantaneous.  If anything happened to the seal, they’d be able to make it to the Hokage tower in minutes.

Of course, if Naruto didn’t know what he was doing with the teleportation jutsu, they could wind up sucked into some random dimension and ripped apart.

“Trust me, Sasuke.  I can do this,” Naruto said his eyes looking earnestly at Sasuke's.

Sasuke tried to remember the last time he had truly trusted someone.  Strangely, it was Naruto’s face that appeared in his mind’s eye. Slowly, Sasuke nodded.  Somehow, he believed him. Had always believed him. “Fine.  Do it.”

Naruto grinned at him.  The next instant they were sucked into nothingness.

-xXx-

The stumbled slightly as they opened their eyes and realized that they were in Naruto’s apartment.  It might not have been quite as smooth as the Fourth, but they had done it.  Naruto’s excited grin made Sasuke’s lips twitch, but before he could smirk in response to his friend’s accomplishment, another wave of nausea wracked him and he only barely made it to the bathroom in time.

“Fuck,” Sasuke muttered, rinsing his mouth in the sink.  He lifted his head to see Naruto’s concerned eyes watching him in the bathroom mirror.

“Let’s get you to your place so you can get your medicine,” Naruto said, stepping back to let Sasuke walk by.  He knew better than to suggest Sasuke go to the hospital after the reaction the nin had the first time he did.

“Take the books to Tsunade,” Sasuke said, reaching in his pack. “I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed.  “Teme.  I’m not letting you walk to your place by yourself when you’re this sick.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.  “Yes, because clearly I have no idea how to take care of myself.  It’s not like I’ve lived on my own since I was six or anything.”

Naruto turned and walked toward the door, grabbing Sasuke’s pack.  “You can stand here and bitch about which of us had the worse childhood, or you can follow me back to your place and take your medicine.”

Naruto walked out the door, knowing that Sasuke would have no choice but to follow.  He needed the medicine.

“I’m beginning to remember why I ran you through with chidori in the first place,” Sasuke said, following.

Naruto laughed.  “You just have a fucked up way of showing affection, bastard.”

Sasuke shot him a look, but didn’t say anything as they made their way to Sasuke’s house.  He knew he should be focusing on how to keep Naruto from finding out what his ‘medicine’ was, but all he could think about was getting it and making the pain stop so they could get Naruto to Tsunade and start work on the seal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke had no idea how he made it the final stretch through the village to get to his house.  Naruto might have been supporting him for part of the way, but Sasuke would not think about that.  He just needed to get the drug.  Once he took it, everything would be fine.  It would just be one or two more times.  He could break this addiction as soon as he needed to.  He would be fine.

He stumbled to the kitchen, throwing open the cupboard, ignoring Naruto’s curious eyes as he pulled the small jar out.  “You can leave now.  I’m fine. Go get the books to Tsunade.”

“What is that?” Naruto asked.  “I thought it was some kind of weird spice.  Does it have to do with your eyes?”

Sasuke ignored him, desperate to just make the shaking and craving stop, annoyed that Naruto made no signs of leaving.

“How long will it take to work?”

“Not long,” Sasuke bit out, his hands shaking as his mind race to come up with some way to distract Naruto.  Naruto might not have seen opium before, but if Sasuke lit it up right in front of the blond he was pretty sure Naruto would figure it out.  “Make yourself some lunch while I rest.  We’ll go in half an hour.”

Naruto looked at him, and for a moment Sasuke thought he had figured it out.  But then Naruto simply turned and began washing his hands.  Sasuke grabbed the metal plate and matches and turned and headed to the bathroom.  It would only take a couple of minutes.  Naruto would be busy in the kitchen.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Naruto looked in the fridge for the ginger, but didn’t see it.  He vaguely remembered Sakura saying that ginger was good for sensitive stomachs, so he wanted to put some ginger in the soup he was making so Sasuke could have some.  He didn’t see it, so he looked in the cupboards, but didn’t see any there, either.

“Sasuke?” he called out but didn’t get a reply.  Concerned, he walked down the hallway and looked in Sasuke’s bedroom, where he had assumed the man had gone to lay down.  It was empty.

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked again. He noticed that the bathroom door was closed, but there was no sound of water running.  Worried that Sasuke might have collapsed before taking his medicine, Naruto opened the bathroom door, his eyes instantly taking in the scene of Sasuke holding the metal plate, the open jar sitting on the ledge of the tub.

The heavy, sweet scent of the opium wafted out to him, and Naruto instantly recognized the scent from some of the previous times he had visited Sasuke.  Sasuke’s eyes had the glazed, languid look that had confused Naruto in the past.

Naruto’s eyes got wider, and Sasuke had to fight the urge to snicker as he leaned back casually against the tub.  He could almost see the gears turning in the Dobe’s brain.  He was feeling good… all the pains and cramps subsiding, the blissful sense of calmness keeping him from being concerned about the potential for Naruto to put two and two together.

“Sasuke what…” Naruto paused, grabbing the jar and looking at it, as though expecting it to tell him what was going on.  

All those times when Sasuke always seemed so oddly relaxed. He was… Including the time just before they had left when they had…

Fury surged up in Naruto, and he threw the jar, shattering it against the tiles of the shower.  “What the _fuck,_ Sasuke!”

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	12. Reactions

**Author's note:** Never go skiing on ice in the dark. No really. Don't. Thanks to WordWriter for reading and advising! Love you, honey.

-xXx-

_Naruto's eyes got wider, and Sasuke had to fight the urge to snicker as he leaned back casually against the tub. He could almost see the gears turning in the Dobe's brain. He was feeling good… all the pains and cramps subsiding, the blissful sense of calmness keeping him from being concerned about the potential for Naruto to put two and two together._

_"Sasuke what…" Naruto paused, grabbing the jar and looking at it, as though expecting it to tell him what was going on._

_All those times when Sasuke always seemed so oddly relaxed. He was… Including the time just before they had left when they had…_

_Fury surged up in Naruto and he threw the jar, shattering it against the tiles of the shower. "What the fuck, Sasuke!"_

Sasuke's hand went up, shielding his face from the tiny shards of glass that ricocheted from the force with which Naruto had shattered the glass jar. He looked at the mess in annoyance, setting down the silver plate and lighter he'd been using. He really didn't want to buy more, but he couldn't exactly take it now that it was mixed with broken glass.

"Don't overreact," Sasuke said, fluidly standing from where he'd been sitting on the edge of the tub and going over to the sink to wash the glass off his hand. He looked at himself in the mirror, checking for glass in his hair and sighing in annoyance when he could see a few shards stuck in the strands.

Naruto wasn't even sure what he felt at that moment… shock? anger? hurt? disappointment? guilt? All of those things, times a thousand flooded through him, amplified even more by Sasuke's apparent disregard for the situation.

"Overreact? _Overreact!?_ I thought you were sick! You were shaking and throwing up and... and I thought you were... and the whole time, you were just _high?_ We were on a mission and you were getting _high?!"_

Sasuke flicked a glance at the furious blond, but then turned and faced the mirror. He noticed there were bits of glass in his shirt, so he pulled it off and shook it out over the sink. "I wasn't getting high. I wouldn't have gotten sick if I was."

Somehow Sasuke's nonchalance over his partial nudity just made Naruto angrier. Part of his anger was directed at himself for his inability to keep his eyes from watching the play of muscles beneath the pale, smooth skin of Sasuke's back when he knew his friend was high. Normally, Sasuke would not disrobe so casually in front of others. "Are you fucking _insane?_ I thought you were supposed to be the smart one! Do you know what this shit does to you?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Probably better than you do, moron. I've actually studied chemistry and the human body. I know what I'm doing," Sasuke said, leaning over the sink so he could rinse the glass out of his hair, cursing when one of the shards cut his finger.

Naruto couldn't help but just gape for a moment at the way Sasuke was completely blowing this off. He gripped the pale ninja's shoulder and spun him around, ignoring the water droplets that flew from Sasuke's hair with the motion.

"Oh, really? You knew what you were doing? So… you planned to be puking your guts out on the forest floor? What was it… overdose? Withdrawal?" Naruto still couldn't get his brain to move past 'shock' and start processing any of this. The way drips of water rolled down Sasuke's neck and slid over his collarbone didn't help, either.

"Tch," Sasuke said, his eyes narrowing. "If it were an overdose, how would taking more of it _help_ , dumbass?"

Anger suddenly won decisively over shock. Before he knew what he was doing, Naruto's chakra was surging and Sasuke was flying back, slamming against the bathroom wall. Several tiles cracked on the impact. If Sasuke's reactions had been any more slowed by the drug, he would have broken some bones, but he had been able to send chakra into his back before he made contact with the wall, hardening his body against the blow. He hadn't been able to dodge or block it, though. Awareness of that fact, and the knowledge that Naruto had possibly done it intentionally to highlight the weakness brought his own anger out.

Sasuke's eyes swirled red and chidori crackled as he drew himself up, facing Naruto. The blond's eyes were wide with shock, whether from his own actions or the fact that Sasuke hadn't been able to dodge the blow, Sasuke wasn't sure.

"Sasuke, goddamit!" Naruto said, completely ignoring the danger that Sasuke now posed, his voice twisted with both anguish and anger. "What were you thinking? Why would you do something like this?"

Sasuke took a step towards the blond, not releasing either the chidori or the sharingan. "You're the one slamming me into walls. Don't pretend to be worried about my health."

"You're supposed to be an S-rank ninja! I shouldn't have been able to…" Naruto cut off as another thought struck him. "Does anyone else know? Does Tsunade know?" If she had known and allowed it to continue, Naruto didn't think he could forgive her.

Sasuke glared at him, then released the chidori, allowing his eyes to return to black as he realized Naruto had expected him to dodge or at least block the blow. He was somewhat surprised that no Anbu had shown up yet given the level of chakra they had both been pulling. But maybe they didn't know they were in the village yet and hadn't been monitoring them. They had bypassed the main gate by teleporting directly to Naruto's apartment. "She's already unhappy that I'm walking around freely. I doubt she'd let that continue if she knew something like this."

Naruto leaned back against the door, briefly closing his eyes. How could Sasuke take such a stupid risk? He could wind up in prison just because of this if they decided it made him too unstable. He remembered what Tsunade had said about the brain chemistry of the Uchiha being different because of the Sharingan blood limit abilities. Naruto's mind edged toward what could have driven Sasuke to do it, but he pulled back from the thought, not wanting to assume he could understand any of the Uchiha's reasoning at this point. "How long?"

Sasuke just looked at him for a moment before speaking. "How long what?"

"Don't play dumb, asshole. Unless smoking that shit makes you stupid as well as slow. How long have you been taking it?"

Sasuke shrugged, feeling annoyed at being called either of those things from Naruto. He turned back to the sink to finish washing the glass out of his hair, taking his time before answering. "It's not your business."

"Not my…!" Naruto surged forward, barely stopping himself from hurling Sasuke into the wall again. Sasuke's body language basically radiated 'fuck you.' And Naruto was really tired of getting that from him. "You _asshole!_ We had sex while you were high! This whole time I was wondering what was going on with you, and you were just…"

Naruto missed the way the muscles in Sasuke's back had tensed at Naruto's words. The dark-haired ninja slowly straightened, shutting the water off before grabbing a towel to dry his hair and turning to look at Naruto.

"So that's what this is all about," he said, rubbing the towel through his hair to dry it. "It's not the fact that I was taking drugs that bothers you. It's the fact that I was high when I fucked you. And now you're _feeling bad_ about it all." Sasuke put a wealth of contempt in that last part.

Naruto didn't know how he wasn't already in tailed beast mode. He wished Kurama were not asleep, because then at least he'd have an excuse for the overwhelming urge he had to rip Sasuke apart. He was shaking with hurt and anger. He forced himself to step back, turning his back on Sasuke and walking out of the bathroom before he did something he'd regret. He always just charged into things headlong and he was pretty sure that wasn't going to work here.

"Fuck you, Sasuke. That's bullshit and you know it. You tell yourself stuff like that because it makes it easier for you to be a bastard and write everybody off. In the end, you just really don't want to deal with someone actually giving a damn about your sorry ass," Naruto said, trying not to lose control of his voice, knowing that Sasuke was intentionally baiting him, but giving in to it anyway. "And for the record, _I_ fucked _you_. Not the other way around."

Naruto's words evoked images of that morning, at the same time the blond's actions now caused Sasuke's own anger to surge. He was tired of Naruto always walking away every time he got mad. They always used to fight it out when they were kids. Naruto had constantly been in Sasuke's face. It had been annoying at times, but Sasuke had always known where he stood with Naruto, which was something he appreciated. There had been no façades, no pretense.

A ninja only turned their back on another ninja if they completely trusted them or completely discounted them. Sasuke was pretty sure the first one could no longer be true, and he sure as fuck was not going to accept the second. Not from Naruto. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was the drugs or his anger that was clouding his mind more at the moment, but the blond hadn't even made it halfway down the hall before he was slammed face first against the wall.

"That's right. You fucked me. Don't get used to it," Sasuke whispered directly into Naruto's ear, feeling his anger taking on a fine edge of lust as he pressed Naruto's body harder into the wall.

A drip of water from Sasuke's hair landed on the back of Naruto's neck, causing the blond to shiver. He could feel Sasuke's hands move to his hips, the pale thumbs slipping into the waistband of his pants. Sasuke pushed his body more firmly against him.

But there was no way Naruto was going to fall for this again.

"I'm not dealing with you when you're high. Go jack off in your bedroom or something," Naruto said, shoving Sasuke back hard. "I have to get to Tsunade. If she didn't sense us teleport into the village, someone probably felt your chakra surge. I'll explain that we were just… testing my hand or something so she can call the Anbu off."

Sasuke stumbled back, torn between anger at Naruto's rebuff and puzzlement at the apparent fact that the blond was planning on covering for him. But Naruto's words reminded him what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. The whole reason he'd taken the opium as soon as he'd gotten back: so his withdrawal symptoms wouldn't slow them down for getting Naruto and the information they'd found to Tsunade.

Sasuke cursed under his breath, annoyed that he'd lost focus. He would never admit it out loud, but Naruto was right. He had made a mistake in thinking he could control the drug. Now it was controlling him, and he wasn't going to let it continue. "Fine. Let's go."

"No, _we_ are not going this time. _I_ am going and _you_ are staying here. And before you say anything, just because I was an idiot and didn't figure out that you were high doesn't mean Tsunade won't recognize it right away. She's not only a doctor, but she also has probably seen a lot of nins on shit from when she was wandering around drinking a path through every gambling establishment in the Fire Country. She'll take one look at your glazed eyes and flushed face and she'll know what you're on. I'm assuming that's not what you want to happen."

Sasuke sneered at him, though he didn't deny his words outright. "You couldn't tell I was high. And you know me better than she does."

A mix of hurt and guilt flashed across Naruto's face before he turned away. "I… knew something was wrong. I mistook it for something else," he said, his voice strangely devoid of emotion. "I'm going. I'll clean up the mess I made in the bathroom."

A clone appeared, giving Sasuke a bleak look before going to the bathroom to clean. Sasuke looked up to see Naruto already at the front door. Empty-handed.

"Tch. Usuratonkachi. Don't forget the books. That was the whole point of this trip in the first place." Sasuke frowned at the expression on Naruto's face, not able to put a name on the emotion he read there.

Naruto glared at him but went back to the kitchen where the packs were.

Sasuke's hands opened, then fisted, then opened again at his sides. "The books are in my pack. My notes are in the front pocket."

"I know. I carried it when you got 'sick', remember?" Naruto said bitterly as he grabbed the pack and headed toward the door.

Sasuke watched him go, annoyed that he was once again being left behind. Effectively removed from the mission. Of course, Naruto was right in that decision. If Sasuke were in charge and one of his nins went into withdrawal, he'd kick him off the mission, too. Likely in a much less friendly way. And it was also true that Tsunade would likely recognize the signs of heroin use immediately. He had been careful to stay away from Kakashi as well, for the same reason.

He wondered why Naruto was so willing to keep his secret, considering everything. And for how long he'd continue to do so.

-xXx-

Naruto leaned against the door outside Sasuke's house. He was relieved that Anbu hadn't come into Sasuke's house when he'd activated the sharingan and chidori. That would have been a mess to explain, with the shattered jar of whatever it was Sasuke had been smoking in plain sight. They likely would have recognized the paste that Naruto had so naively thought was some sort of spice. At least his clone would be making sure that was completely gone before anyone had a chance to look for it.

Naruto blew out a breath. He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He wasn't sure how to handle the situation now that he knew what was going on, but he knew he was not going to let Tsunade find out about it unless it became a danger to Sasuke's health. Too many people in the village were looking for an excuse like this to get the leniency he'd insisted on with regards to Sasuke revoked. As angry and confused as Naruto was about why Sasuke had done it, he wasn't going to let anyone use it as an excuse to get revenge when they didn't understand the situation.

But as far as his own feelings…. Naruto looked down at his shaking hands. He swallowed. How had he not known? How had he not seen? He remembered the day on the sparring fields, when he had first realized what he was feeling towards Sasuke. He sneered, recalling how he'd _sworn_ to himself that he would not take advantage of Sasuke, knowing how damaged he was. Self-loathing snaked through him, and he wondered for one horrifying moment if he possibly had known at some level about Sasuke's addiction and had ignored it because it had gotten him what he wanted.

But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it wasn't true. No matter how much he wanted Sasuke, he would never have taken advantage of that. If anything, it only made it worse. He didn't want Sasuke to have sex with him because he was horny and high. Naruto wondered now if it had even mattered to Sasuke that it had been Naruto, or if Naruto had simply been convenient. The thought twisted in his gut like a knife. Once again, he was proving just how big an idiot he was. You'd think he'd have learned after being rejected and feared his entire lifetime. His skin should be thicker by now. His instincts sharper.

But it had always been different when Sasuke was involved. It seemed like he would never get over the massive blind spot he had with anything associated with his 'best friend'. It wasn't as though Sasuke had ever led him on about any of it. Naruto had fooled himself all on his own.

Sasuke had made absolutely no proclamations of love or even friendship. He had made sure that Naruto wasn't doing anything just because Tsunade had made him, but… there had been nothing more than that spoken between them. Naruto had been the one to invent some deeper meaning to the fact that - at his lowest point - Sasuke had turned to him. He had thought that somehow that was proof that Sasuke trusted him… felt something for him. But if he were just high, then… maybe none of it had meant anything at all. Was that what Sasuke had meant when he said he didn't want it slow? Maybe… it was because it didn't mean anything.

Naruto pushed himself away from the doorframe of Sasuke's house, feeling numb. He was about to step off the porch when he paused. His own hurt feelings weren't what mattered now. He couldn't let it distract him from what he needed to be focusing on.

He thought about how sick Sasuke had been on the way home. And how scared and helpless Naruto had felt when he didn't know what was wrong. He hadn't experienced it personally, but he had heard people talk about withdrawal. Sasuke was far from the only ninja to look to drown memories that made living hard. He didn't know how long until the drugs wore off and the symptoms came back, but he knew that they would definitely return.

He focused a small amount of chakra in his hand, laying his palm carefully along the side of the door. He hoped Sasuke wouldn't notice as he placed the seal that would enable him to teleport back here instantly. He'd tell Tsunade that they had just been testing theories about his hands, and give her the books and Sasuke's notes on what he had figured out. To save time, Naruto teleported to his apartment, which was much closer to the Hokage tower than Sasuke's house was.

When he was done with Tsunade, he was going to come back and have a longer talk with Sasuke. Starting with finding out the name of the person who'd sold Sasuke the drugs.

-xXx-

Sasuke could tell Naruto was standing on his porch for almost a minute after he walked out. But he didn't go after Naruto this time. Naruto needed to get the information to Tsunade as soon as possible. There was no telling when the temporary stalemate between Kurama's chakra and Danzo's seal would end, potentially putting Naruto at risk. He felt a brief flare of Naruto's chakra, but then shortly after that the presence vanished completely. Sasuke smirked, assuming Naruto had used his teleportation jutsu. His latest toy. He wondered briefly if Naruto was going to go crazy with it the way he did the shadow-clone jutsu and the rasengan.

Moderation wasn't exactly in the blond's vocabulary.

He was distracted from his thoughts by Naruto's clone as it walked past him into the bathroom and turned the shower on, rinsing down all traces of the contents of the glass jar. The clone occasionally shot Sasuke a wary glance, as though expecting him to tackle him to the ground and save some of the drug. Sasuke snorted. Like he wanted shit with ground glass in it. Though it would be problematic if he started going into withdrawal before Naruto's hand was healed. He had told himself he wouldn't buy more, but that was before Naruto had smashed the original jar at a time when Sasuke could not afford to be puking his guts out as his body was cut off from the chemical he had thought he had been careful enough to avoid addiction to.

The clone then went around picking up all the glass, cursing under his breath every once in a while when he used too much force and a shard pierced his fingers.

Sasuke hadn't expected Naruto to be happy if he ever found out about the drugs. But the intensity of the blond's reactions went beyond what he'd expected. Why was Naruto so pissed off? Why was it any of his business what Sasuke did or didn't do in the privacy of his own home?

The clone walked past him, taking the small silver plate and throwing it in the garbage. Sasuke frowned as he lounged back against the door to the kitchen, watching the clone who now appeared to be pulling out ingredients and to begin cooking lunch. Presumably for Sasuke. He hoped the clone could cook better than the original.

He glanced at the clock. Naruto should have reached the Hokage by now. They hadn't exactly been in a calm state of mind when Naruto had left, so he hadn't had a chance to tell Naruto exactly where in each book the relevant information was. He eyed the clone for a minute, and decided to kill two birds with one stone.

"Oi," Sasuke said to the clone, who had started to slice some onions. "Come here."

The clone looked at him warily, but walked over anyway. Sasuke smirked. The original would never have been so compliant.

"Pay attention. Tsunade needs to look at pages two ninety-eight to three hundred seven in the green book. Tell her to focus especially on the third paragraph of three hundred three. Can you remember that?" the clone's eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. "Good," Sasuke said and proceeded to give him the details on where to look in the other two books. He made the clone repeat it back to him three times before he was satisfied.

"Oh, and one more thing," Sasuke said.

"What now, asshole?" the clone asked, still annoyed at being drilled on facts like a school child. Maybe he was more like the original than Sasuke had given him credit for.

"I don't need a babysitter." With that, Sasuke took the kunai he'd had in his pack and ran it through the startled clone, dispelling it instantly. He smirked. It was the fastest way to send a message, before the clone forgot all the numbers on his way to the Hokage's office. Not to mention giving himself the satisfaction of dispelling the clone.

Sasuke walked to the kitchen to see what the clone had been starting to cook. He was surprised to see that - alongside the cutting board where he had been slicing onions, the clone had laid out tomatoes, ginger, and eggplant. Sasuke stared at the ingredients for a minute before slowly picking up the abandoned knife and finishing cutting the onion.

He wondered what would happen when Naruto came back. Sasuke knew that there was no way in hell Naruto was going to just let him be over this. He paused, turning off the water that the clone had set to boil to apparently make him some sort of vegetable soup. He had a feeling that - unless Tsunade was able to immediately figure out which of the three mechanisms the seal was using - Naruto wouldn't be gone that long. She would need time to do her own research to try to figure out how to apply what Sasuke had found.

Which meant that - if Sasuke wanted to be sure he didn't go through withdrawal at an inconvenient time - he needed to go now and buy more. Not as much as last time. Just a small amount. Just in case. He frequented the liquor store enough that his presence wouldn't be remarked upon. And his Anbu guard wasn't currently following him, making this much easier than it had been the first time.

He might not even end up using any of it, but he didn't want to be caught by surprise again. There was a good chance that Tsunade would need him to use the sharingan to help narrow down options. He smirked at the thought that the prestigious and ever-reliable Hyuuga clan was evidently not in the loop on Naruto's investigations. She wouldn't want to bring in an outsider, even for the benefit of the byakugan. It must gall her that the rogue ninja knew what her most reputable clan didn't.

His amusement faded at the reminder that Naruto was relying on him, whether the blond admitted it or not. Sasuke turned the knife over in his hand. Naruto had trusted him, telling him things that Tsunade didn't want him to know. Things that even the elite Anbu were not allowed to know. Anbu who had remained loyal to Konoha while Sasuke had abandoned it. Naruto had not seemed to hesitate at all in placing his trust in him again. Sasuke didn't know why, but that single fact seemed incredibly important to him right now. He didn't want to lose Naruto's trust. He had managed to hold onto it somehow with everything that had happened in the past. He wasn't going to lose it now.

He looked down at the cutting board, trying to decide what to do.

-xXx-

Naruto reached the Hokage's office quickly with the shortcut that the transportation jutsu provided him. The guards just nodded him in, and he knocked quickly on her door.

"What!" came the annoyed shout from within. Naruto smiled slightly as he opened the door.

Tsunade's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Well, who would have guessed you would have finally figured out how to actually knock on that door instead of just barging in." Her gaze shifted to the empty doorway behind him. "Where's the Uchiha?"

Naruto looked back, even though he knew Sasuke wouldn't be there. "He… was exhausted after the trip. He only slept like five hours during the whole mission. I left him at his place."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She could tell that Naruto was hiding something, but she had more important things to worry about. She opened her mouth to ask what they found when Naruto was already rushing ahead.

"We were experimenting to see if we could narrow down any of the theories we had. If any of the guards noticed a chakra disturbance at his place, that's probably it was."

Tsunade eyed him suspiciously, but she just nodded her head. Maybe those two had been going at it again and he was afraid of being found out. Or maybe they'd argued. She didn't really care either way. Naruto was standing in front of her, obviously uninjured except for his hand. If Sasuke had meant serious business, there would have been more damage. She motioned to the Anbu guard at the door and sent him out to let the guards know that the situation was under control in case they had been concerned.

"How did you manage to get back into the village without notifying the front gate?" Genma and Raidou had been under strict orders to let her know the instant Naruto returned to the village.

Naruto grinned, and Tsunade already knew that she wasn't going to like the answer. "I learned how to do Dad's transportation jutsu! I teleported us back to my apartment."

Tsunade's eyes widened. "The Hiraishin no Jutsu? Naruto! That jutsu is extremely dangerous! When have you been practicing it?"

Naruto realized belatedly that he probably should have come up with another answer. "Um… between missions? The Second and Dad were so awesome with it in the battle, and…"

Tsunade's eyes softened. Of course. Just like the rasengan, it was a jutsu that the Fourth had been famous for using. Excelling at his father's specialized jutsus was one of Naruto's only ways of actually connecting with a father that had died the day he was born.

But that didn't mean she was going to let him get off without reprimand. She forced her face into a scowl, not wanting him to read any of the understanding in her expression. "Naruto, space-time jutsus are extremely dangerous to practice without supervision. One small mistake and you can wind up materializing in the middle of a mountain and crushed to death. The next time you decide to learn something like this, I want you to inform me so we can arrange for proper supervision."

Naruto decided now wasn't the time to tell her that Kakashi had actually known about it and encouraged him. He wouldn't rat his sensei out. "Ok, Baa-chan," he said with false meekness, hoping to bring the conversation to an end.

Tsunade smirked. "But since you now can be summoned on an instant's notice, I want you to place your seal on my desk. That way you can get her more promptly when I have a job for you."

The gleam in her eye told Naruto that the nature of those jobs was likely to be further punishment for studying the dangerous jutsu without telling her. Likely having to do with the mountain of paperwork typically sitting unattended on her desk.

"But Baa-chan… wouldn't it be better to put it somewhere more permanent? You bust your desk like twice a week."

Naruto once again realized he needed to think before he spoke as he was picking himself up from the far side of the room, rubbing his forehead. He turned behind him to see the dent he had made when he'd flown into the wall. "One of these days I am going to stop letting you do that to me," he grumbled, dusting himself off.

"Hm," she smirked. "Enough playing around. What did you and your Uchiha find?"

Naruto's eyes flickered to hers at the wording she used, but he didn't say anything about it as he pulled out the books and Sasuke's notes from his backpack, handing them to her. Each of the three books was well over six hundred pages long. She looked up at him. "And? What am I supposed to be looking for in these?"

"Well…" Naruto began somewhat fumblingly. "There are three possibilities that Sasuke figured out." He tried to remember the exact wording that Sasuke had used. "Um, the first, has to do with souls, and, uh -"

Naruto's head snapped back as the information from the dispelled clone rushed in. "Fucking bastard," he mumbled under his breath. He couldn't help a small smile, though. Sasuke clearly cared enough about the outcome of this to make sure he got the relevant information to Tsunade as soon as possible. Either that or he'd just really wanted to run Naruto through with his kunai. Both options had likely held merit to the nuke nin.

With the page numbers and a much more articulate description of the findings now fresh in his head, Naruto quickly recited what Sasuke had drilled into his clone before dispelling it.

Tsunade wrote quickly, nodding her head and opening one of the texts to the pages indicated.

"Yes. This is very helpful. I'll have Sai come in and work with Shizune and me on this," she set the book aside, motioning with her elegant (but lethal) fingers for Naruto to come over. He complied, though he kept a wary eye on her fingertips. "I want to check your hand to see if there is any change from the last time."

Naruto dutifully held his hand out, allowing the medic nin to examine it thoroughly.

"It is only slightly progressed from three days ago. I repaired the tissue again. The damage had recurred. I want you and Sasuke to come to my office tomorrow at noon. By then I will have had a chance to read over the materials you sent and compare them with what we found while you were gone. Hopefully we'll be able to make use of his sharingan to try a few things out and see if we can heal your hand, or at least narrow down the options for what the mechanism is."

Naruto nodded, relieved that it looked like they were getting closer to a solution about his hand, but worried about what kind of shape Sasuke would be in tomorrow. He couldn't even use the excuse that Sasuke was sick, because the Hokage would just want to see him even more then.

Tsunade turned her attention back to the book, clearly dismissing him. Naruto decided he needed to get back to Sasuke as soon as possible and try to talk to him about what to do. He had no idea how long the effects of the drug would last, but he really hoped Sasuke wouldn't still be high when he got there.

Tsunade looked up, annoyed to find Naruto still standing there. "Well? Don't you have things to do besides watch me read?"

With a smirk, Naruto activated the transportation jutsu and vanished from the Hokage's office, causing the remaining Anbu guard's eyes to widen in shock.

Tsunade stared at the spot where the blond ninja had been an instant before, a small smile playing about her lips. "Baka," she murmured affectionately, before calling to Shizune to summon Sai and meet her in the Hokage Library.

-xXx-

_to be continued…_


	13. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Mykko_chan for the late-night therapy and hand-holding sessions while I struggled with this part of the story. Love you, babe.

**Author's note** : Ok, so for those of you who saw my updated note on the previous chapter on ff, this part of the story is incredibly painful for me to write and I hadn't expected it to be. Writing this made me think about all the things I could have/should have done to save my friend. It made me realize that I am not as good a friend as Naruto, and my friend was not as strong as Sasuke will be in this story. And that was hard to face. So the next chapter or two will be a little tough on me, instead of being therapeutic as I had hoped. I have to be in a certain headspace to write it and so there might be times when updates are a little delayed like this one was. Real life just really sucks. Fanfic is so much better. It always ends the way I want it to. *sighs*

-xXx-

Naruto teleported himself to his own apartment rather than going directly to Sasuke's. He had no idea if Sasuke had more of the drug in his house, or if the Anbu had had seen anything before Tsunade had called them back. But he needed to get his head on straight and try to figure out what he was going to say to the Uchiha when he got there.

As much as he still felt like hurling his friend into the nearest wall, he knew that wasn't going to help anything. And it wasn't any fun when Sasuke couldn't pound him right back.

He stood in his bedroom, hands on his hips as he considered his options. He needed a shower. And he needed some sleep. But he didn't want to leave Sasuke alone for very long. Sleep was out of the question.

He hadn't really had time to process the fact that Sasuke had been taking drugs as well as drinking. And what that might mean. Sasuke had always been meticulous about his home, appearance, and behavior. He was a man who liked to be in control of himself at all times. Naruto had been shocked to see the state of the Uchiha's home and person the first night he had gone there. But this… the idea that Sasuke would willingly diminish his mental capacities and slow his physical responses, that he would willingly hand over control of himself like shook Naruto to his core.

And while Naruto was still furious that Sasuke would do something like that to himself, the emotion he felt most strongly at the moment was panic. Sasuke would only do this if he had given up on everything else.

Ninjas who used heavy drugs didn't live long. The dulling of the mind and slowing of the reflexes, even if only slight, was a virtual death sentence in their line of work. Sasuke would be aware of this, which made his choice even more of a blow to Naruto.

Sasuke had always been one of the most driven people Naruto had ever known. He had been focused on his goals to the exclusion of almost everything else in his life. Friends, village, health, safety… all were sacrificed on the altar of Sasuke's goal for revenge. He had pushed himself relentlessly, going beyond any reasonable physical and mental limitations. He had honed himself into a nearly perfect, emotionless killing machine. One of the greatest ninjas of their time. And now…

Naruto's hand clenched as he thought about what might really happen to Sasuke. It wasn't just a matter of going to jail. Sasuke was… losing himself. And that terrified Naruto. Because he knew what it felt like to stand on that precipice of loss-of-self and look into that abyss. Iruka, Sasuke, and eventually Kurama had been there when Naruto had had his moments of weakness and helped draw him back. But Sasuke had no one now that Itachi was gone. Except maybe Naruto, but Naruto wasn't really sure how much Sasuke really felt a bond with him anymore.

Naruto drew a shaky breath. Was his friendship with Sasuke strong enough to be able to reach Sasuke? As much as he wanted it to be true, Naruto didn't think so. It hadn't been strong enough to keep Sasuke from leaving the village so many years ago. And if anything, time would only have weakened it. But he had to try. He just didn't know how.

Naruto knew that he wouldn't be ' _the reason Sasuke went on living_.' He was no longer naïve about things like that as he had been when he was a child. Sasuke needed an actual purpose. A tangible goal. Did he still know his friend well enough to help him find something? Would Sasuke even listen?

He honestly didn't know. Mechanically, he walked to the bathroom, quickly peeling off his clothes and wadding them up into a ball to throw into his hamper across the room. He stepped into the shower without bothering to let the water warm up, not wanting to waste any time. He quickly scrubbed the dirt and sweat of their journey from his body as he used the time to gather his thoughts.

He couldn't just go up to Sasuke and tell him that 'drugs are bad' and expect that to have any impact on the Uchiha. Sasuke was smart. He knew the risks of what he was doing, and had still made the decision to take them. And no matter how much Naruto disagreed with that choice, simply re-listing the facts of why drugs were bad or dangerous would do nothing.

The thought of beating some sense into Sasuke wasn't entirely unappealing, but Naruto knew that would only be temporary. No one could watch over Sasuke for the rest of his life and police him. In the end, it would be Sasuke's choice if he got off the drugs or not. What Naruto needed to do was to give Sasuke a good enough reason to quit.

Danzo and the council were dead. Sasuke didn't have any family left to protect or support. He didn't have a village he believed in to defend.

Naruto toweled himself off, not noticing that he had missed some soap on his back in his rush. He dressed quickly, jamming a few pair of spare clothes into his pack.

What would matter enough to Sasuke to make him fight this? What would be enough to make him want to get his shit together again? It was possible that Sasuke really just didn't give enough of a fuck about anyone anymore to fight for anything.

Naruto felt his hands prickle with a cold sweat, and a hollow nausea twist his stomach. He had always viewed Sasuke as his other half. Different sides but of the same coin. What is a coin with only one side?

Naruto felt unbalanced. He had fought so hard to earn the position of Hokage, always assuming that somehow, at the end of it all, Sasuke would be there with him. They would face the challenges of reforming the system together and make sure that what happened to them didn't happen again to anyone else.

What kind of Hokage would he be if he wasn't able to save his best friend? If his vision wasn't enough to convince his most important person to join him? It had always been about Sasuke first. None of it would matter if he lost Sasuke at the end of it all. When Itachi had asked Naruto if he had to choose between Sasuke and the rest of the village, the best Naruto had been able to come up with was 'both'. He couldn't lose either one.

He couldn't. Especially not now, after...

Naruto shut his mind off that line of thinking. He had barely been able to come to terms with the idea of Sasuke being on drugs. The fact that Naruto had fucked him when he was high was something he just didn't know how to process right then. He grabbed his pillow and blanket, rolling them up and stuffing a few changes of clothes into his pack.

Sasuke had always enjoyed his privacy, and Naruto knew he didn't really have any right to do what he was about to do, but that wasn't going to stop him. It had never been about 'rights' or 'permission' between them anyway.

Naruto wasn't naive. He knew that he couldn't _make_ Sasuke quit if the man didn't want to. But he could sure as hell try to convince him. He wouldn't just sit back passively and watch it happen.

He had never been passive about anything that mattered in his life. He was not going to start now.

* * *

Sasuke lounged back on the futon in his living room. He knew he should probably worry about what Naruto was going to do now that he'd found out about the drugs, but that felt like a distant issue for the moment. The opium always made things seem better. At least, while he was on them.

Right now he felt good.

He had purchased a smaller vial of the opium, ignoring the shopkeeper's smug look. The man assumed that Sasuke had already gone through the much larger jar and was about to become a very profitable, long-term customer.

Sasuke knew better. He'd just purchased enough to get him through the next week or two without going into withdrawal. Then he'd quit. He wouldn't let some drug control him.

He must have miscalculated somehow. He'd seen Orochimaru's experiments on opium addiction. And he had been careful to use less than what he'd observed to cause dependency. But the brain chemistry of the sharingan holders had always been different. It had been the one variable he hadn't been able to account for.

Sasuke stretched, laying back on the futon and letting his mind go blissfully blank. He ignored the whisper of doubt as to whether he really wanted to give this feeling up. He'd deal with it later. He was sure he could control it. He'd stop when he needed to. Right now he was simply enjoying the feeling.

His thoughts drifted to Naruto. Despite how angry Naruto had been when he left, Sasuke knew the blond would be back today. Naruto wasn't one to just walk away from something he thought was 'wrong'. And evidently he had decided that Sasuke doing drugs was 'wrong'. Sasuke snickered at the thought.

In many ways, Naruto was still so innocent. He had been so _shocked_ when he'd found out Sasuke had been using. It was somewhat amusing.

Sasuke had lost his innocence long ago. It had been hacked away by Danzo, the Council, Itachi, Orochimaru, and Madara. And of course, the village. Especially the village. He knew he had done things that Naruto would never even consider doing. Sometimes it puzzled Sasuke how Naruto had managed to retain his innocence and optimism in the face of the hatred and abuse the villagers had heaped upon him. It was something Sasuke could never understand. He wasn't sure if it was a strength or a weakness in Naruto. He supposed, in the end, it was both.

But it fascinated him… drew him. The darkness in Sasuke's soul hungered to touch that light. To possess it. But at the same time, he held himself back, knowing that in touching it he would taint it.

As everything in his life that he'd ever touched had been tainted and destroyed.

He didn't want that to happen to Naruto as well.

The thought of something bad happening to Naruto caused frisson of worry to cross his fogged mind. He wondered if the idiot had been able to relay the information that his clone had delivered, or if he'd garbled it all up. Hopefully, Tsunade wouldn't have to dig through all the pages to find what she needed. That would waste time that they didn't really have. Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. _Dobe._

He felt a familiar chakra appear literally on his doorstep, and wondered why it made him smile slightly.

* * *

Naruto stood on the front steps of Sasuke's house. He realized that there was a decent chance that Sasuke would realize he had teleported back here and… marked his house. He fidgeted briefly. The Uchiha's were fairly territorial. Their clan symbol typically decorated most of their belongings, proclaiming their ownership. He wasn't sure what Sasuke's reaction would be to him placing his seal on Sasuke's home.

Drawing a breath, he pushed open the door. Given that he was basically about to move in to Sasuke's house without permission, he figured that the seal was the least of the things Sasuke was about to get pissed at him for.

"Hey," Naruto called into the house, wondering for a moment if Sasuke was even home. "You still here?"

"Hn, Dobe," a lazy voice called from the living room. "Did your clone manage to remember all the information I gave him?"

"Tch. Yeah. Asshole. Tsunade wants us to come down to see her again tomorrow to try a few things out after she reads through what you found," Naruto said, his tone uncertain. He wasn't sure if Sasuke would be in any shape to do so. Setting his bag down, he walked into the living room. He looked at Sasuke for a moment, taking in the relaxed, languid expression on the beautiful face. They way Sasuke's body was sprawled carelessly, as though he were not one of the most highly skilled ninjas in existence. Naruto felt his temper flare at the reminder of what made the nin like this.

Sasuke easily read the flash of anger in Naruto's eyes, and smirked in amusement at it. "Did you come to tell me how _wrong_ it was for me to do it?" Sasuke sneered.

Naruto clenched his fists, but held himself still, reminding himself that he'd already decided that beating Sasuke's high ass into the ground was not the best approach. As temporarily satisfying as it might be.

He took a breath, forcing his fists to unclench, searching for something that would throw Sasuke out of his complacency about the whole thing. "I was just surprised that you would be that stupid. I never thought there would come a day when I was actually smarter than you."

A slight flush of anger appeared along Sasuke's cheekbones, and Naruto knew he'd scored a direct hit. Sasuke might not be vain about his flawless looks, but his pride about his intellect hadn't changed over the years.

"What, you thought you could avoid getting hooked? That's what all junkies think," Naruto imbued that last phrase with all the disdain he could, taunting Sasuke, wanting to break through the drug-induced calm that he hated so much.

"Fuck you," Sasuke turned his head to the side and looking out the window to the empty, rubble-filled streets. "Like you've ever spent any time talking with the kind of nins who use drugs. What would you know about anything?"

Naruto bit his lip, not sure what to say. Sasuke was right. "I know _you_ ," Naruto stated softly, looking at Sasuke's profile as the late afternoon sun streamed in through the window, making Sasuke's black hair look almost blue.

"You always say that," Sasuke murmured, still not looking at Naruto.

Naruto didn't know what to say that he hadn't said already years ago. It was the same argument they'd had many times. Sasuke would say that Naruto couldn't understand how he felt, because Naruto had been alone from the beginning and didn't know what it was like to lose bonds that had been so core to his foundation. It was an impossible argument to win. How do you really _prove_ that you understand someone? That your whole focus for so many years had been studying, watching, and thinking about that person until it felt as though they were a part of you?

Naruto studied Sasuke's perfect profile for a moment, aching with his swirling emotions trapped inside him by lack of any words to express them. He walked over and sat down on the futon next to Sasuke. They looked out the window together for several moments, neither speaking.

"I might not feel everything exactly the same as you, Sasuke. But I have learned about loss. Jiraiya was as close to a father as I will ever have. He trained me. Protected me. He… cared about me. But he went on a mission without telling me what it was. He left me behind, and I had no chance to help, to intervene, to do fucking _anything_. I only found out where he'd gone after he was dead. And I…" Naruto stared down at his hands, remembering the daze he had been in when he heard the news that Jiraiya was dead. Naruto felt his throat close, the memory still raw. "... I didn't know what to do. I was so _angry_ that Baa-chan had let him go. And then I just… was numb. It got so bad that Shikamaru actually came and kicked me in the ass and told me to stop moping around."

Sasuke didn't look at him, but gave a soft snort at the irony of the lazy nin giving a pep talk to anyone.

"He had lost Asuma Sensei, and… he told me that… it was time to stop thinking of myself as the student… as the child… and pass what Jiraiya had taught me onto someone else. That we have learned things that deserve to be passed on, not just… wasted in grief."

Sasuke was silent for so long that Naruto wasn't sure he had even heard him.

"There are two differences between you and me," Sasuke said finally. "Both of you were given the chance to kill the people who were responsible for killing your mentors." Sasuke turned and looked Naruto dead in the eye. "And both of you feel like this village is worth giving a damn about."

He stood and walked over to his bedroom. "You know the way out."

Naruto stared bleakly after his friend, unsure how to reach him. Knowing that his first attempt had failed. "I'm not leaving," Naruto stated quietly. He was sure this would be no surprise to the Uchiha. Sasuke should know better than anyone that Naruto didn't give up.

Sasuke paused, but didn't look back over his shoulder. "Whatever," he closed the bedroom door behind him.

Naruto sighed, leaning back on the futon and scrubbing his hands over his face. He hadn't even gotten a response from Sasuke about Tsunade expecting them to come together to her office the next day.

Maybe Sasuke wouldn't even want to go. If he was even going to be in any shape to do so by then.

* * *

Sasuke closed the door and paused, staring blankly at his bed, carefully not thinking about what had transpired there just a few days ago. He had been a bit annoyed that Naruto had seemed to imply that he was _moping_ , but he wrote that up to the blond not really being all that great with words. He understood what Naruto was trying to do. Trying to show him that he could understand Sasuke, because now he had suffered 'real loss' as well.

Losing a teacher wasn't the same as losing an entire family. But given how few bonds Naruto had and how deeply he had craved them, Sasuke knew it was not an insignificant loss, either. He had heard the news shortly after Jiraiya had died. News of the Sanin's death at the hands of Pein had spread like wildfire through the ninja villages. Sasuke had been surprised to learn of the man's death. Even Itachi had been unsure whether he could defeat the sage, and in Sasuke's mind, there was no one more powerful than his brother.

It had been one of the times when Sasuke had felt an almost visceral pull to go back and see Naruto. He knew that the boy who had craved a bond for so long would feel the loss deeply. But the reasons that had kept him from returning to his friend then were the same that had made him leave in the first place. If anything, they had only grown stronger now that Naruto no longer had the protection of Jiraiya. The Sanin had saved Naruto from Itachi the first time. Now, there was no one strong enough in the village who could save the blond, and Sasuke knew he had to stay away until he had killed Itachi.

But he had thought of his friend. Imagined his grief. Known there would be no one who could truly understand what it felt like to be completely alone. Not like they did. The loneliness of a child is different than that of an adult. It is laced with the fear, the inability to understand the events that had caused it. Loneliness like they had lived through as children ate holes in a person that never really went away.

Even though Sasuke always said that Naruto couldn't understand him, he could admit at least to himself that in many ways, Naruto was the only one would could. When Sasuke had found out that Naruto was the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki, he had realized that they had yet another point in common. They were both viewed by the village as weapons, not children. Him for his sharingan and bloodline, Naruto for being the Kyuubi container. They were not considered human by the village. No one would try to comfort a weapon. So they had been left alone, watched over just enough to be sure they were sufficiently trained to be of use if needed. To be sure the danger they represented was contained. Controlled. Especially Naruto. Sasuke felt his anger at the village surge through the haze of his high as he remembered the sneers and taunts the villagers had hurled at the lonely blond child. How Naruto had acted out, so desperate for any sort of acknowledgement of his existence that he didn't care if it were only anger and fear that he received.

He had been the only one in their class to recognize Naruto's loneliness from the start. Because it was the same as his own.

With the death of Jiraiya, Naruto had learned the feeling of loss, as well. Sasuke had heard the grief and loneliness in Naruto's voice when he had spoken of Jiraiya's. It was a feeling Sasuke knew well. His entire childhood had been bathed in it.

Hearing that emotion in Naruto's voice had brought it back to the surface within Sasuke as well, and he hadn't been able to deal with it. It just made him feel impotent in his anger. He couldn't undo what had been done. And the people who had brought it about were already dead, past his reach for vengeance.

He was left with nothing.

Surprisingly, Naruto hadn't blown up at him for walking away or saying what he had. He supposed that, in a way, Naruto understood Sasuke. Maybe even agreed with him, at least in part. Naruto had not pretended to shed a tear when news that the Council was dead had arrived. And the blond ninja was trying to clear Itachi's name.

Sasuke could hear Naruto moving about in the living room… the muffled sounds of a pack being unzipped. Evidently Naruto hadn't left.

He had noticed the large pack that Naruto had brought. Presumably it meant the man was planning on staying here for several days. Probably to make sure Sasuke didn't take any more opium.

Sasuke knew that it should annoy him that Naruto he had any right to interfere. He should be angry. But somehow… he wasn't. He walked over to the bed and lay down, looking blankly at the ceiling. If anything, he felt… relieved.

He frowned slightly. Why should he be happy that the soon-to-be-Sixth Hokage had decided to take a personal interest in his drug habits? It would only make things harder. Make it more difficult for Sasuke to do what he wanted.

Sasuke paused a bit at the thought. He realized that he didn't really know what he wanted.

But he did know that he was glad Naruto had stayed.

Despite it being the middle of the afternoon, he stripped off his shirt pulling a light sheet over him and going to sleep.

* * *

Naruto checked on Sasuke several times during the evening. He created a clone to keep watch while he slept, both to ensure that Sasuke didn't get sick but also checking periodically for any telltale sign of the heavy, sweat smoke that would indicate Sasuke was trying to use again. He knew it would make him weary the next day, but he wasn't going to take any chances.

He'd have to figure out how to monitor Sasuke while he was at Tsunade's without the Uchiha simply dispatching the clone as he did before. Maybe he'd have it hide on the roof and mask its chakra. But then it wouldn't be able to tell if Sasuke did something. Naruto spent several hours scoping Sasuke's house out, trying to find a hiding place that the clone could use to stay in the house but not be observed.

The bar for a hiding spot that could fool an S-ranked ninja was fairly high, however, and Naruto wasn't able to come up with anything that he thought would last more than three minutes after Sasuke woke up.

He drifted off into a restless sleep, not sure what to do.

* * *

In the morning, Naruto made himself a quick breakfast. He showered and changed, knowing he would be expected at the Hokage's office soon. He was still debating on where to hide the clone and what excuse to give Tsunade about why Sasuke wasn't with him when Sasuke stepped out of his bedroom carrying a change of neatly folded clothes.

"I'm going to shower. We'll leave in ten minutes," Sasuke stated impassively.

Some of Naruto's shock must have shown on his face, because Sasuke frowned slightly. "What? You thought I wouldn't help?"

"Well, you…" Naruto just blinked, not really sure what to say. He hadn't even been sure that Sasuke would have remembered that they were going to meet Tsunade today. The Uchiha hadn't acknowledged it the other day. "... you didn't really say anything yesterday, and you were… pretty out of it, so I just figured…"

Sasuke looked at him a moment, his face its usual expressionless mask but somehow Naruto thought Sasuke was… hurt.

"Tch," Sasuke turned and headed into the bathroom, closing the door with slightly more force than necessary, but not quite slamming it. His black eyes had been sharp and focused, no residual sign of the drug affecting him.

Naruto slowly released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Had he thought Sasuke wouldn't help him? He just… didn't know. Sasuke had been willing to literally run himself until he dropped to get the information from Orochimaru's library for him. No one had _made_ Sasuke do that. Naruto tried to remember if he'd thanked Sasuke for what he did. He'd been so worried when Sasuke was so sick. Then he'd found out about the drugs and…

Naruto walked over to the kitchen and heated up some of the rice porridge he'd made the night before while Sasuke was sleeping. He was pretty sure the other nin hadn't eaten dinner. Naruto would make him eat something before they left.

Sasuke came out of the bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower, a towel around his neck. He was fully dressed, his shirt zipped up completely, but Naruto couldn't help but remember the last time he'd seen Sasuke in the shower. He broke away from the dark gaze and turned back to the stove where the rice porridge he was stirring had begun to steam. He had no right to think about that. Not now that he knew what was happening with his friend. A wave of self-disgust washed over him that he still lusted after his friend even after knowing that Sasuke hadn't been in control of his actions when those things had happened.

"I made some porridge yesterday. You went to sleep without eating," Naruto said, not taking his eyes from the pan. He could feel the intensity of Sasuke's gaze, and for some reason he didn't know how to face it.

"Thank you," Sasuke murmured. He walked over to where the small laundry room was, placing his clothes in the hamper there.

The fact that Sasuke was showering and taking care of his dirty clothes made Naruto feel somehow much calmer. He dished some of the rice for Sasuke, and a smaller bowl for himself to keep the man company. He had eaten his own breakfast earlier, but he always found sharing a meal with someone a comfort. Probably due to the fact that so much of his life had been spent eating alone. Like Sasuke.

The silence between them felt stiff and slightly awkward as Naruto stirred the food in his bowl, not making eye contact.

"Thanks," Naruto said finally, looking up to meet Sasuke's questioning gaze.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "For what?"

Naruto stopped fidgeting with the spoon. "For… for helping me research the seal, even though…" he paused, but didn't break eye contact. "... even though you didn't have to, and had a lot to deal with here. And thanks for going with me this morning."

Naruto could have sworn that a small hint of color etched along Sasuke's cheek bones, but it could have just been the light. "Hn," was the reply.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Of course. "Are you feeling… ok?"

Sasuke nodded. "It had been three days before I got sick last time. I should be fine until the day after tomorrow." Sasuke shrugged, as though the thought of going into withdrawal again was no big deal.

"Ok, well… I'll be here," Naruto stated, half in comfort and half as an assertion, almost daring Sasuke to kick him out or tell him to leave.

Sasuke hesitated, a look of what on anyone else Naruto would have said was uncertainty before the pale hand picked up his spoon. "Hn."

Naruto couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face as he joined Sasuke in eating the rapidly cooling rice.

This time, the silence was comfortable rather than awkward.

-xXx-

_to be continued…_

So next chapter we will find out more about the seal, and what Tsunade wants to try. And Sai will be there.

I know some people might think Naruto is OOC in this chapter because he is not being an idiot with how to handle Sasuke's drug thing (e.g., not threatening him or trying to 'force' him off the drugs). imo I am drawing on the fact that canon!Naruto is able to read people and influence them even in really difficult situations. He seems to be able to say or do something that will cut through the shit and change people. And he knows Sasuke well, so he knows what would be useless to try. In the end, this is the element of Naruto's character that I will draw on in this chapter and the next. So I guess it is not his "IQ" but his "EQ" or whatever.


	14. The seal

**Warning: boy x boy** aggressive kissing, nothing too crazy. Sasuke being slightly unstable and not able to identify emotions properly (if you are shocked then we were not reading the same manga LOL).

 **Author's note** : Thanks to Mykko_Chan for reading this and letting me know where I wasn't being clear, and helping me figure out how to show what I wanted to show here.  *hugs*

**-xXx-**

After putting their bowls in the sink, Naruto turned to Sasuke.

"Ready?"

Sasuke gave him a flat look, as though he had been waiting already for an hour. Annoyed, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm, deciding not to warn him before he teleported them directly to the Hokage's office.

Sasuke managed not to stumble this time, but still leveled a glare at Naruto. A look that was seconded by Tsunade who had been napping at her desk.

"Naruto," she growled. "We have discussed your lack of knocking etiquette. What if I'd had a confidential meeting going on in here?"

"Hey, you're the one who insisted that I leave my mark here so I could come more quickly. Besides, there's nothing confidential about what goes on between you and your sake in here," Naruto said, sounding every bit the brat he had been in his youth. He grinned, unable to hide his pride at finally being able to use the jutsu his father had been famous for.

Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if Naruto started using to teleport between brushing his teeth and going to bed. Naruto's obsession with new jutsus didn't seem to have faded as he aged. Sasuke felt his lips twitch as he remembered what Naruto was like when he'd first learned his 'sexy jutsu'. Then the shadow clone jutsu. Then the rasengan.

Tsunade and Sasuke exchanged a look of mutual amusement at the blond until they remembered that they didn't necessarily like each other, and quickly broke eye contact.

Tsunade schooled her face to sternness, tapping her well-manicured fingernails together.

"Uchiha," she greeted Sasuke formally.

"Hokage-sama," he responded, his words polite, his tone slightly mocking.

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't remark on it. It was time to get down to business.

"Thank you for the books you sent, as well as your notes. It gave us quite a bit to work with. I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that Orochimaru's library is so well-stocked," she said, and for just a moment her face took on a slightly wistful expression that reminded Naruto and Sasuke that - at one point - her relationship with Orochimaru had been like their own. Teammates… childhood friends. Then enemies. Maybe there was a chance they could be friends again, now that things had shifted after the war. But that would be a consideration for another day.

She stood, brushing the shadows of her past aside. "Naruto mentioned that you were fatigued from your journey, so I appreciate your coming here today. We don't have time to approach this problem theoretically, and tampering with seals live is a tricky business. Having the extra insight provided by the Byakugan or the Sharingan will greatly reduce the risks to Naruto. Kakashi is on a mission until tomorrow, and I would prefer not to wait, given the circumstances."

Sasuke bowed his head slightly, acknowledging both the implicit compliment in his abilities as well as his willingness to help.

"Sai and Shizune are waiting for us in the library. We will conduct our experiments there."

Tsunade turned and walked down the hall toward the library, knowing the two ninjas would follow her. She hadn't missed the slight tension in Sasuke's eyes at the mention of Sai's name, and she wondered if there was bad blood between the two. Sai had also seemed underwhelmed when she had informed him that Sasuke would be joining them for the experiments.

Mentally, she shrugged. She had no patience for teenage boys and their pissing contests. She was Hokage and they had better fucking suck it up and do what she said.

* * *

Shizune and Sai looked up from the books they were reading when Naruto, Sasuke and Tsunade entered the room.

"Naruto," Sai stood, his face concerned as he immediately walked over to him, picking up Naruto's arm and examining it. "Tsunade told me what happened. I regret that I was unable to prevent you from being damaged by Danzo's seal. I… I should have -"

Naruto cut him off, noticing the uncharacteristic display of emotion from his friend. "I was the one who set it off, Sai. Neither of us could have avoided it. Luckily Sasuke noticed something was off with my hand. I just thought I'd slept funny on it or something. It probably would have taken me a week on my own to realize it was more serious."

Naruto shot a grin at Sasuke as he said it, and found the man's gaze fixed on Sai, where the older nin was still holding Naruto's arm. Sai looked at Sasuke but didn't acknowledge him in anyway.

Naruto wondered how it was possible for two such emotionless faces to somehow convey both contempt and dislike for each other. He knew that Sai held a bit of a grudge against Sasuke for all the shit Team 7 had gone through trying to bring the missing nin back, but he had no idea why Sasuke seemed to dislike Sai.

Though, there was the fact that the first time they met, Sai was trying to assassinate Sasuke on Danzo's orders. Though Sai _had_ changed his mind before he had actually tried to kill him. At least… Naruto was pretty sure he had. Still, probably not the best way to start a friendship.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the level of tension between Sai and Sasuke. "You will find it an extremely unpleasant experience if I need to separate the two of you," she said tersely as the two dark-haired nins continued to try to outdo each other with expressionless dislike.

Naruto pulled his hand free from Sai's grip and turned to Tsunade, trying to break the tense atmosphere. "So… you said something about experiments that you needed Sasuke's Sharingan for?"

Naruto tried to not notice that Sai and Sasuke were still glaring-not-glaring at each other. Or that Sasuke seemed to be slightly smirking at Naruto's last statement. Seriously, what the hell was with those two?

"Yes. After reading through the books Sasuke found, I agree with his assessment that - of the three options he found - the second two are the most likely. Given that the seal was attached to a book rather than a living person, the Reaper seals would not work. In order to determine which of the other two seal types is in play, we need to examine both Naruto's hand and possibly the book more closely. The Byakugan would be better at actually visualizing the chakra pathways to see how damaged they are, but I don't want to bring anyone else in on this until we are further along in tracking down the other parties."

Sasuke's gaze snapped from Sai to focus on Tsunade at her last comment, missing the mocking look Sai had sent him at the notion that Hyuuga eyes might be better than Uchiha eyes. "There are other parties involved in this that you are tracking down?"

Naruto's eyes widened at he looked at Tsunade. Of all the things she would let slip, this was the last one he had expected. Even _he_ wasn't sure Sasuke wouldn't just decapitate any other complicit parties on the spot if he learned about them, and he was Sasuke's main supporter.

Tsunade simply eyed Sasuke for a moment. "That information is only shareable with Anbu members, I'm afraid."

It was a direct challenge. Sasuke frowned slightly. She was saying… she was _implying_ that if Sasuke became Anbu…

"So which of the experiments that we discussed do you want to start with?" Shizune asked, eying Sasuke's tense body warily. "Anything involving the book we need to do in a sealed, controlled environment."

"Agreed," Tsunade said, finally breaking eye contact with the Uchiha, once she was sure her message had been received properly. She might still have her reservations about him, but she would be a fool to leave him to his own devices for long. If she didn't provide him a way to re-engage with the village, then another village - or worse, another organization unaffiliated with any village - would lure him away again. It hadn't escaped her notice that Sasuke was showing an increasing level of protectiveness towards Naruto. Protection of the next Hokage was the next best thing to actual loyalty to the Leaf. If Sasuke were loyal to Naruto, even if he had no loyalty to the village itself, that would be sufficient for Tsunade to accept him back as an active nin.

But it would be up to Sasuke to make the next move and straighten himself out enough to be battle-ready again. She knew that Naruto was keeping things from her about the Uchiha's mental condition. And she hadn't missed the signs of dissipation on the former rogue nin's face over the past months, being more than familiar with the signs from her own experience. Shizune had been the one to keep her from losing herself completely.

Tsunade had gambled on Naruto to be that same anchor for Sasuke. And like every bet she'd made on the loud shinobi (and _unlike_ every _other_ bet she made), it seemed to be paying off. She could already see an improvement in the focus of the dark eyes, a flickering of life where previously there had only been a cold, dead gaze. The fact that Sasuke was here, in the Hokage library, showing an active interest in working with them on this was proof enough that things were changing. Her thoughts were brought back to the conversation happening in the room around her.

"Since the seal wasn't visible until it actually triggered, we don't have much information on its characteristics to help us narrow down the options," Sai was saying. "I researched some of the known seals that fall into the two categories that the Hokage and the Uchiha said we should focus on."

He unfurled a long scroll, with different patterns sketched across it. "You were the only one to really see it, Naruto. Do any of these look familiar?"

Naruto skimmed through the set of sketches.

"No," Naruto said, sounding slightly frustrated. "It was... much more complicated. The chakra lines were much denser and more… twisted around each other," Naruto explained, using his hands to vaguely try to show what he meant.

Sai cocked his head to the side, frowning at the unhelpful description. "Hm. Can you draw it?"

Naruto shook his head in frustration. He'd only seen the fucking thing for less than a second, and at the time, he'd been more focused on trying to sense the chakra flows and counter it when he realized it was going off. Not to mention he could barely draw a stick figure, much less a complicated seal pattern.

Tsunade frowned, looking at Naruto as though considering something she hadn't before. "Naruto. Instead of sketching it, could you create a real version of the actual seal with chakra?"

Both Sasuke and Sai's eyes widened at the question. "Tsunade-sama," Sai began. "Learning a seal of this level of complexity would take years. Accidentally setting it off once doesn't mean -"

"I think so," Naruto said, uncomfortably, his mind already recalling the way the chakra had uncoiled when the seal had triggered. "It wouldn't be as perfect as the original, but I think I got the basics of it. I don't think it's a good idea, though. Once I set it, I'd have no idea how to disarm it except the way I did it the first time."

Tsunade simply nodded, smirking slightly at the shocked expressions on Sasuke's and Sai's faces.

"The Uzumaki clan's ability with fuuinjutsu is similar to the Uchiha clan's ability with ninjutsu," she explained. "They have almost an instinctual understanding of seals, and an ability to replicate even extremely complex seals after encountering them."

Sasuke turned and looked at Naruto, his expression unreadable.

Naruto looked at Tsunade, both shock and excitement showing on his face. "Really? That's so cool! Why didn't anyone tell me that earlier?"

Tsunade looked at him drily. "Because, in order to 'encounter' a seal, you either need to trigger it or have the creator let you watch them set it. Most clans are very secretive when it comes to seals, especially after the Uzumaki clan and the entire Hidden Eddy village was destroyed for possessing so many dangerous seals. And setting them off without knowing their secrets is just as likely to get you killed as it is to let you learn a new seal."

Naruto thought about it a bit. It did explain why he was able to almost instinctively open Kurama's seal after he'd seen the instructions behind it. He hadn't really encountered many other seals of that level, since ninjutsu was more common.

"Ok, so… are we doing this, or what?" Naruto asked, his excitement in finding out about his special skill with seals tempered by the fact that it was an extremely dangerous seal, and if he set it wrong or someone else triggered it, he was likely to kill someone.

Sai spoke before Tsunade could respond. "Don't set it all the way. Just lay the beginnings of it, so I can see the basic form. We can research the details depending on what it's built on. I'll try to capture the patterns as you lay them down."

Sasuke's face had no expression as he looked at Sai briefly before turning back to Naruto. "I can watch the flow of chakra, both in your arm and in the scroll. If anything looks like it's triggering something back into your arm, I'll see it."

Shizune nodded. "I'll monitor his chakra pathways in his hand and make sure there is no physical damage from the seal-making process." The medic nin went and stood next to Naruto, laying her hand over his, the soft green glow of her own chakra reaching down into his skin.

Tsunade handed Naruto a blank scroll. "Use this as the vehicle. Just remember, don't fully set the seal. Just start it enough that we have something to work with."

Sasuke activated his Sharingan and Sai flipped open his sketch pad.

Naruto drew a breath, feeling more than a little bit of pressure under all the scrutiny. He'd talked big, but suddenly he wasn't so sure he could really do it. There had been a lot going on at the time, and -

"Performance anxiety, Dobe?" Sasuke's voice was low and smooth, but the taunting edge was unmistakable.

Naruto's head snapped up at the surely unintended double-entendre, but the amusement in Sasuke's eyes made him wonder. Sasuke… couldn't possibly be telling a dirty joke. Naruto blinked, but not before a slight flush stole along his cheekbones.

"You wish, asshole," Naruto _almost_ said that Sasuke should be the one to know, but he caught himself before the words actually escaped. He was pretty sure that the Uchiha wouldn't appreciate their sex life being broadcast like that.

But the small diversion had helped him forget about his nerves slightly, and he closed his eyes, focusing the chakra in his palm, visualizing more the feel of the seal rather than any particular image about its shape.

Intricate black lines appeared on the palm of Naruto's hand, coiling slowly up his arm as well as spreading across the paper.

Sai's hand flew over the page, sketching the characters and swirls as they formed.

Naruto drew down more chakra, feeling it coil and sink into the paper.

"What the fuck?" Sasuke said, his eyes widening slightly. "The chakra looks like it's… folding in on itself. There are three different coils, but they're…" he paused, watching for a moment, trying to figure out what the pattern would produce if Naruto were to set the seal to completion. Part of it reminded him of the seal Danzo had tried to use on him in their final battle, but not quite the same. Naruto's level of chakra was significantly higher than that of Danzo's. The effect was much more powerful, and Sasuke had the fleeting thought that if Naruto had been the one to spring that trap seal on him, Sasuke might not have been able to avoid it. He began to understand why the other villages had viewed the Hidden Eddy as such a threat.

Naruto stopped, pulling his hand back away from the paper abruptly. "That's as far as I can go without risking activating at least part of it. Is it enough?"

"Yes. I think we have enough to go on now," Sai said as the elaborate characters on the scroll as they began to fade, indicating the seal had failed and was not viable.

"The chakra you put into the scroll is dissipating," Sasuke glanced over to Naruto before returning his focus to the scroll. "The scroll should be safe to handle."

"His pathways are still damaged, but starting the formation of the seal didn't increase any of the damage," Shizune sounded relieved as she released his hand and stepped back.

Tsunade was looking at the sketches Sai had captured, then picked up one of the books and flipped through it.

"It's three different seals," she said, handing the book to Sai, tapping one of the sketches with her red fingernail. "They are woven together so tightly they trigger as one. The first is simply a standard chakra spike, designed to kill on the spot. This was the piece that Naruto was able to fully deactivate, which is why he suffered minimal damage. The second was a chakra-binding seal, similar to the one used to bind the tailed beasts into the statue. It must have transferred a significant portion of Naruto's chakra to the book, and sealed it there. For any shinobi with normal chakra levels, if the initial spike didn't kill them then the instant chakra drain would have. Only a jinchuuriki would have enough chakra that they would survive the second seal. The third was a slower acting one, likely specifically designed for Naruto. Danzo must have known that there was a chance Naruto pursue the issue of Itachi and the Council, given his… fixation with the Sasuke in the past. But he hadn't expected Naruto to fully be able to merge with Kurama and control all the bijuu's chakra. If it had only been a small percent of the bijuu chakra, Naruto would have been dead. The pathways would never have been able to heal fast enough to counteract the seal's damage."

The muscles in Sasuke's hand tightened, and he had to consciously force his fingers to remain unclenched. His face revealed nothing as he turned to look at Naruto, ignoring the way his stomach twisted at the Hokage's words. _So close_. Danzo had been so close to killing Naruto. Sasuke wondered how long it would have been before he would have been told, if Naruto had in fact died. Living on the outskirts of town, he wouldn't have heard the news unless someone actually came to tell him. Would anyone have come? Sakura? Kakashi?

And what would he have done, if he had received the news?

He felt slightly lightheaded before a rush of anger surged through him. He noticed a slight trembling in his hand, and wondered if the withdrawal symptoms were coming back sooner this time. He felt an almost irresistible need for the drug, knowing it would erase this sickening anger that was pounding through his body. Fury at Danzo. At Tsunade for allowing Naruto to take such a risk. And at Naruto for taking it without thinking about what would happen if…

Sasuke turned abruptly and walked over to flip through one of the books, needing to do something before he blew the tower apart.

Naruto watched Sasuke walk stiffly over to the books, noting the tension in the lines of his friend's body, but unsure of the cause. He looked back down at his hand, slightly stunned at how thorough Danzo had been, and how lucky he was to have escaped with minimal damage. Anyone else who had found the book would have been killed on the spot. He shrugged it off after a moment. It was far from the first time he had been close to death. And he knew it would be far from the last.

"There is a final piece which looks as though the seal uses the chakra it absorbed to re-set itself," Sai said, looking at some of the sketches he had made when Naruto was beginning the seal. "If Naruto hadn't automatically deactivated it when it found it rather than just triggering it the way most would, it would have automatically re-set."

Tsunade looked grim. They'd have to use extreme caution when going through the rest of the materials from Danzo's lair. They didn't have many seals experts in the village. There weren't many seals experts left anywhere, after the Village of the Hidden Eddy was wiped out.

As if reading her thoughts, Naruto spoke. "No one but me should touch the rest of the books and scrolls we brought back. I have the best chance of detecting another seal and countering it."

"No." Sasuke's voice was ice cold. "You are already injured. I could see the chakra coils in the scroll as you were laying the seal. I can scan the other items first. Or Kakashi can."

Tsunade saw Naruto bristle at Sasuke's words, likely taking them as in insult to his abilities, but she didn't have time for their schoolboy rivalry right then. She raised her hand, cutting Naruto off as he opened his mouth to speak. "Your first priority is to counter the effect of the third part of the seal that Naruto was not able to deactivate in time. It's only been Kurama's healing that has kept it from spreading, but it appears it will not actually stop until the seal is released or reversed. Now that we know what we're dealing with, we can research the safest way to release it," Tsunade said.

"So the damage will be fixable?" Naruto asked, flexing his fingers slightly as they tingled.

"Yes. You are actually continually healing the damage as it is. Once we stop the action of the final portion of the seal, you should be healed in less than a day. Unless you run out of chakra, in which case the seal will take over and you'll be in serious trouble," Tsunade said, everyone in the room understanding that 'serious trouble' for a ninja basically meant 'dead'. "So you still are barred from missions until we get this done. But at least we know what we're dealing with. We know the type of the seal, and - thanks to your demonstration - we know the specific elements involved."

Naruto nodded, slightly frustrated at the delay in fixing his hand, but slightly glad that it would allow him more time to keep an eye on Sasuke.

"Sai, Shizune, and I will take it from here for now," Tsunade said. "I want you and the Uchiha to go rest. You both look like shit. Sai is the most familiar with Danzo's work on seals, and - now that he knows exactly what he's looking for. It might take a few days to go through them all and come up with a way to stop its effect, but it will be faster than starting from scratch. I will have him keep you up to date on what we find. He might have some questions as we get further into this. "

"I have some scrolls at my house as well," Sasuke's voice was flat, his eyes narrowing slightly at Sai. Some of the anger had ebbed away once Tsunade had told Naruto he was not allowed to work on Danzo's other scrolls until his hand was healed, but the idea that the blond would be partnered with Sai in the final stages of this annoyed him for some reason. "Some of them touch on seal releases. I'll look through them tonight and see if there is anything useful."

Tsunade nodded. "Let me know if you find anything. Naruto - I want you to come by my office for daily check-ups. We need to make sure the progression remains in check."

" _Daily_ check-ups? Can't I just have Sasuke look at my hand once in a while and –"

"He will come,' Sasuke cut him off with a glare.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's go, bastard. I'm starving." He reached over and grabbed Sasuke's hand, flashing Tsunade an impish grin before he teleported them out of her office. Sasuke and Sai's eyes locked just before Naruto and Sasuke vanished, Sasuke sending the other boy a slightly smug look.

"Baka," she mumbled, but her own lips had twitched into an answering grin to Naruto's. "Boys with toys," she sighed, memories of Naruto learning the rasengan blending with memories of Nawaki learning his first S-rank jutsu. A gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present. She didn't need to look over to know it was Shizune. As usual, the younger woman always knew what she was thinking.

* * *

Sasuke was not surprised to find himself abruptly standing in Naruto's apartment. He wondered if Sai had ever been inside, and he felt a flash of annoyance. He didn't know what it was about the former Root nin that rubbed him the wrong way. Just the association with Danzo would have been enough, but there was also something about the way the other boy looked at him. Sasuke thought about the way the boy had walked up to Naruto and examined his hand, as though used to having permission to touch the blond. He felt his jaw clench.

"Man, I'm starving. I think I have some leftover ramen here. Or at least some rice. Damn, I really need to put a teleportation seal on Ichiraku's. Then I can instantly go there after a mission!" Naruto casually walked into his small kitchen, feeling the dark eyes following him and unsure about the source of the tension he could feel radiating from the owner of said eyes.

"That took longer than I thought it would. Shit, this thing with my hand is a pain in the ass. Leave it to Danzo to still be a dick even after he's dead," Naruto chuckled as he rummaged through his fridge, trying to lighten the mood.

The unsettled feeling that had been bubbling around in Sasuke's stomach ever since Tsunade had described how close Naruto had come to being killed flared up as the blond ninja joked, seeming not to care that he had almost died trying to clear Itachi's name. _A task that should not have been his to begin with_. The thought snaked through Sasuke's mind, coiling around the sickly anger that was already filling him. The mention of future missions only amplified the dark mix of emotions, especially at the thought that _Sai_ was likely to be accompanying Naruto on many of them.

Naruto heard Sasuke approach, but assumed the boy was merely joining him in foraging for food in the cupboard. He was surprised to find himself pinned against the counter, dark, turbulent eyes flashing at him.

"What the fuck, bastard?" Naruto was more surprised than angry. He allowed Sasuke to keep him there, not feeling threatened so much as puzzled. He knew that if Sasuke had come at him with intent to do serious harm, there would have been blood on the walls already. Sasuke never fucked around with wasted moves in a real fight. He went straight for the kill.

But Naruto was surprised that the windows didn't crack at the intensity of the dark emotions pumping off Sasuke in waves, though Naruto wasn't able to pin down exactly what the emotions were. He tried to ignore the feel of Sasuke's ruthlessly honed body against his… tried to ignore the subtle scent of the soap from Sasuke's shower he could smell… and the even more compelling scent of the man beneath it.

"What's your problem?" Naruto bit out, trying to put a note of warning into his voice to get Sasuke to back off a bit so Naruto's brain could function properly again.

"Shut up," Sasuke growled. He was furious at Naruto, and he didn't understand why. It would be irrational to be angry at Naruto for having put himself at risk. They were ninjas. There was no avoiding risk. But Sasuke couldn't control the bubbling anger and something that felt almost like panic at the thought of how close Naruto had been to death. And how calm the blond seemed about it all. As if it happened all the time. Because it _did_ happen all the time. Why did that now feel completely unacceptable? Why was he so furious about it?

Sasuke's thoughts were jumbled, but his body seemed to know what it wanted as it sought the reassurance of Naruto's body. He pressed harder against the blond, his fingers biting into the slim hips. He felt Naruto tense beneath his own, the heat and hard contours of the toned body against his. He lowered his lips, slanting them across Naruto's, not knowing why he felt compelled to do so even as he shifted a hand to fist into the blond locks and force the kiss deeper. The familiar flare of heat seemed to somehow steady his tilting emotions, reassuring him of something he couldn't even articulate. Everything else in his mind seemed to shut down as he pressed even closer, instinct driving him on.

He felt Naruto shudder briefly against him, a small sound escaping the blond's mouth that had heat pooling almost painfully between Sasuke's legs, craving more. He slid a leg between Naruto's thighs, pressing his own increasingly sensitized groin against Naruto's hip, feeling the pulse leap in the tan body beneath him.

"Sasuke, this isn't," Naruto began, but Sasuke's lips pressed more harshly against his, not interested in what this "wasn't".

"I said shut up," Sasuke said, bearing down with more force, pressing their mouths wider, their teeth clicking as he felt his fingers biting into Naruto's flesh, uncaring that he was leaving bruises. He needed this, and the intensity of that need was something he was unfamiliar with but had no resistance against. He didn't understand the relief he felt as he sensed the desire that surged in Naruto, matching his own as their body temperatures spiked, the hard planes of their bodies pressing roughly and urgently against each other. The answering desperation he sensed in Naruto somehow soothed him. It made him feel powerful and alive, leaving no room for the emptiness and blackness that he constantly felt like he was drowning in. The familiar taste and scent of Naruto blissfully pushed out all other thought.

Sasuke felt himself slipping into the same haze that he had the last time he'd been with Naruto, his cock pressing tightly against the confines of his pants. Focused on trying to figure out how to remove their clothing without loosening his death grip on Naruto, he was too distracted to notice the tan palm before it connected with his chest and sent him flying backwards, stumbling back against the stove before rapidly regaining his footing.

"No," Naruto stood panting, still pressed against the counter, staring at him with slightly swollen lips. The blue eyes looked slightly desperate, though Sasuke had no idea why. It took Sasuke a moment to gather his scattered thoughts enough to realize that Naruto was rejecting him.

"You didn't have a problem with it the last time we were in your kitchen," Sasuke said, stalking forward predatorily, watching as Naruto eyed him warily. He had been pressed tightly enough against Naruto a few seconds ago to know that the man had been responding to him. If they were both hard and wanting it, why was Naruto stopping?

"That's before I knew you were just high and out of your mind," Naruto's voice was forced and harsh, his body language showing no signs of hesitation as Sasuke approached. Only the wariness of the blue eyes gave away the blond's nerves.

Sasuke stopped when his body was a hair's breadth from Naruto's, both nins standing completely still as the air between them heated until Sasuke was sure he could hear it crackle. Naruto kept his eyes locked on Sasuke, not backing down, though the desperation in his eyes had grown to border almost on panic.

"I'm not high now, moron," Sasuke stated fighting to keep his voice calm and steady, reading such a swirl of emotions in the blue depths - anger, uncertainty, guilt…. lust. He could understand and even respect, on a certain level, the fact that Naruto didn't want to have sex with him when Sasuke was drunk or high. But he was neither of those things right now. They'd already consummated a physical relationship with each other. Sasuke saw no reason to discontinue it when they obviously both enjoyed it. But Naruto showed no signs of wavering, and Sasuke wasn't going to beg.

Naruto inhaled deeply, his eyes drifting closed for an extended blink before re-opening, the pupils dilated with lust. Sasuke could see Naruto's grip on the counter tighten until his knuckles turned white, as though fighting the urge to grab him.

"Like I can trust you to tell me when you're high. How the fuck am I supposed to know? Obviously, I wasn't able to tell before. One minute you're looking like you want to kick my ass, the next minute you're sticking your tongue down my throat about to fuck me into the counter. I told you I'm not going to have sex with you when you're on that shit." Naruto knew his hands would be shaking if he weren't holding the counter in a death-grip. The subtle scent of Sasuke was wrapping around him, clouding his mind. He could see the lust in his friend's eyes, and if he let his gaze drop lower he knew he'd be able to see the prominent evidence of it in the rogue nin's pants as well.

Naruto's control was resting on a razor's edge. He knew that if he showed any weakness or hesitation, Sasuke would bend him to his will in three seconds flat. Naruto had nearly lost it when Sasuke had kissed him, bringing all the memories he had been trying to suppress of the morning they'd spent wrapped around each other in Sasuke's bed. But he didn't know how being on or coming off the drugs was affecting Sasuke's actions or desires… how much of the older boy's actions were his own, vs influenced by the drugs. And Naruto had promised himself that - no matter what - he would not knowingly take advantage of Sasuke. It didn't matter how badly… how _desperately_ Naruto wanted it. Too many people had used Sasuke for their own purposes, and Naruto would be damned if he added himself to that list.

Sasuke's gaze bore into his, and Naruto fought not to fidget or let his gaze waver in the slightest.

"Fine," Sasuke said, walking over to the kitchen table and sprawling back in one of the three chairs there.

Naruto let out a shaky breath, glad that Sasuke hadn't pushed it further. He honestly didn't know what he would do if Sasuke set out to purposefully seduce him… not wanting to think about how disgusted he'd be with himself if he wasn't strong enough to resist when he wasn't sure if Sasuke was in control of himself or not. Naruto turned back to the kitchen, no longer hungry, but knowing that they needed to eat.

He missed the considering look the dark-haired man gave him. Sasuke was used to reading every nuance in an opponent, and the sigh of relief and the significance of it was not lost on him. The slight feeling of panic that he had felt when Naruto had first pushed him away began to fade. He smirked at the newly acquired piece of knowledge. It was a heady feeling to have the most powerful ninja in Konoha so susceptible to him.

Naruto had always held strongly to his own sense of right and wrong in a world where everyone else did what was convenient. But Sasuke knew without a doubt that he could break Naruto on this if he wanted to.

He shifted his legs slightly farther apart as he watched Naruto pull out what appeared to be a leftover carton of ramen from his fridge.

He would wait for today. But he would not wait indefinitely.

-xXx-

_to be continued…_


	15. Withdrawal Part 1

**Warning: boy x boy** Sasuke and Naruto trying to discuss the past and try to process their emotions. Yeah, they don't do it well.

**Author's note:** Thank you so much for the comments on the prev chapter encouraging me to push through this and keep going. This part of the story is tough for me, because I want to deal with the anguish of their childhoods, but not totally WALLOW in it, if you know what I mean. So I ended up rewriting this chapter like 4 times since it got just too depressing, but here is where I came out. Next chapter will be the low point for Sasuke (if you have never witnessed or experience withdrawal then feel blessed). But THEN… hot ninja sex? I am hoping. Hoping so much you can't even know.

Thank you to Mykko_chan for pre-reading this and keeping me on track and generally encouraging me.

**-xXx-**

Sasuke watched silently while Naruto heated up the ramen before deciding to see if there was anything else in Naruto's fridge that he might be able to eat before resorting to something so unhealthy. Naruto slanted a wary look at him as he walked into the kitchen, but Sasuke simply opened the fridge and pulled out some vegetables he was pleasantly surprised to find there.

Naruto looked over at him again, this time with a small smile. He didn't know what it was exactly about Sasuke wanting to eat something 'healthy' that made him feel happy. He covered his reaction by needlessly stirring the soup in the pot on the stove.

_It's because he's doing something to take care of himself._

The thought came over him quickly, and he was glad he was turned away from the Uchiha as his throat suddenly constricted with a desperate hope that Sasuke was going to be ok at the end of this all. It was a fear that he hadn't even really allowed himself to acknowledge, because in the end he knew he would be unable to face it if it had born out. The self-destructive spiral that Sasuke had been going down had terrified Naruto, because he knew that no one but Sasuke could put an end to it… and it wasn't clear that the dark-haired nin had any reason to do so.

Naruto drew in a breath to steady his careening emotions. Sasuke would not appreciate him freaking out like this.

"Usually you wait until you've got the ramen in the bowl before trying to inhale it, Dobe."

A small laugh bubbled up from Naruto's throat. It sounded slightly wild to Naruto's ears. He sent a fake glare over his shoulder, not fooling either of them. "Shut up and eat your prissy little salad."

Sasuke smirked, and they each took their bowls of respective food to Naruto's small kitchen table.

It was still a bit of a novelty to eat together, and both felt oddly content at the company.

"So… that was really a crazy seal that Danzo set," Naruto said around a mouthful of food. "I wonder who he learned it from? It's pretty sophisticated for him to just make up like that. Was he really that good with seals?"

Sasuke paused in his chewing, then continued and swallowed. "He was working with Orochimaru on some things. It wouldn't surprise me if this was one of them."

Naruto choked on his noodles. "I thought Danzo wanted Orochimaru dead?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a condescending look. "You can't still be shocked that Danzo didn't hold to his principles. Unless you really _are_ an idiot."

Naruto shot Sasuke an annoyed glance, but couldn't really argue the point. "It's just… I thought that he at least was trying to do things that in his twisted mind were good for the village. But working with the guy who killed the Third…"

"How is that any worse than ordering my entire clan murdered?" Sasuke said, his voice hard with bitter anger.

Naruto looked down at his soup, his appetite gone. No matter how many times he had tried to find some redeeming side to Danzo, in the end, he couldn't. Which shook Naruto's view on the Third to their core, since surely the man must have _known._ Though it almost made it worse if he hadn't. A Hokage shouldn't be that blind. Naruto was silent for a moment. "When I am Hokage, it's not going to be like that. I will never allow decisions like that to be made without me. I will not allow the council to be rebuilt. If actions have to be taken, then I will be held accountable. This… shadow structure that Danzo and the rest of the council set up was too easily corrupted. Tsunade has agreed to not formally accept any new council members until I am appointed Hokage, and since all of the prior ones are dead…"

Sasuke eyed him for a minute. "You're really going to try to change the system?"

Naruto looked up and met his gaze, humor glinting in his eyes, but it was laced with a steely determination. "Yeah. You're not the only one who had a shitty childhood, Sasuke. I am not going to let stuff like that keep happening. But I'm not going to go bat-shit crazy and start shouting about 'revolution' and attacking everyone in sight including people _trying to help me_."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I didn't attack everyone. Just you."

The laughter drained out of Naruto's expression and he looked back at his bowl, picking up the spoon and poking at the noodles. "Yeah. I know."

Sasuke studied Naruto for a moment, easily able to read the hurt still visible there. "I thought you'd be glad that I didn't blow you off like I did everyone else. You always said you wanted me to acknowledge you."

Naruto looked down at his noodles, which were slowly turning to mush. It was true that he had wanted Sasuke to acknowledge his strength. To acknowledge him as an equal. And Sasuke singling him out in their final battle had been just such an acknowledgement.

Of course, Naruto realized now that his 'quest for acknowledgement' from Sasuke had simply been a child's way of seeking attention and friendship when he hadn't known how to ask for it. And as he'd grown, what he wanted from Sasuke had grown as well and now…

Naruto glanced up, seeing the black, intelligent eyes focused on him. The dark thrill that shot through him at being the center of Sasuke's attention almost distracted him from the man's statement. But that was a dangerous thought, and he pushed it back down. "I wanted you to trust me and acknowledge me as a friend. Not as an enemy. Why couldn't you tell me what you thought, and ask me to change the system with you? Why did you think you had to do it on your own?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment, then snorted slightly. "You're naïve. You think everyone is good at heart. No matter what people do, you always look for the good in them," Sasuke sneered.

Naruto bristled. "I just want to be able to find common ground with my enemy. There can't be peace without understanding," he quoted. It was a lesson he had learned from Jiraiya. One of many.

Sasuke's hand tensed on the table. "And sometimes that's just not enough. You're lucky both Nagato and Obito died, Naruto. Because no one would have accepted their 'sorry'. There comes a point where it doesn't matter _why_ someone did what they did. The act itself is unforgivable."

Naruto paused, not sure if Sasuke was talking about Nagato and Obito, or Itachi.

Or himself.

Naruto thought back to the meeting he had with Nagato. Naruto's grief over what he believed to be Kakashi's and Hinata's deaths had been so raw… he had been nearly shaking with the urge to kill the man.

But he hadn't. And because of that, all the dead had been brought back to life. Though Sasuke was right, in a way. There would not have been forgiveness for Nagato from the village had he lived.

"I never said I forgave Nagato or Obito. But I understood why they did what they did. Like I understand you."

Naruto held Sasuke's gaze, daring him to refute that statement. Like he always did.

"But you don't forgive me either," Sasuke stated, though clearly it was also a question.

Naruto's breathing halted. For once the nin wasn't denying that Naruto might possibly understand him, at least partially. But he didn't know what to say to that, or to Sasuke's statement. Neither of them was particularly good at expressing what they felt. Or even _knowing_ what they felt. It had certainly taken Naruto long enough to recognize what he felt for Sasuke.

He wasn't sure what Sasuke was trying to say here. He wasn't exactly asking for forgiveness… or saying sorry. _Was_ Sasuke sorry? Looking at the man, Naruto didn't think so. Sasuke had reasons for what he'd done, and - aside from killing Itachi - Naruto was pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't have done things differently if he had the chance.

"Forgive you for what? Leaving the village? Or trying to kill me?" Naruto finally spoke, deciding it was better to at least understand what Sasuke was talking about.

Sasuke looked at him for a moment, then broke their gaze, looking away. "Any of it."

Naruto paused, honestly not sure what to say. Was he still angry at Sasuke? Anger sounded like such a narrow, thin emotion. The agony he'd felt when Sasuke had left, all the times that Sasuke had refused to come back… that wasn't 'anger'. The overwhelming need to be near Sasuke, to be able just to look at him, feel his presence… was that forgiveness?

If he hadn't been 'angry', what did it even mean to 'forgive'? Naruto had no idea.

"I don't know. It's not that simple," Naruto's voice was low, his own confusion about how he felt surfacing in his voice. The feelings of loss and worry and frustration and betrayal and admiration and longing and… love were too interwoven for him to even understand them himself, much less push words out that Sasuke could understand.

Sasuke nodded. He didn't appear upset. In fact, he barely seemed interested in Naruto's response. But Sasuke was never one for making idle comments, so Naruto wasn't fooled.

"I… I know you had to leave," Naruto acknowledged, when the silence had begun to stretch. "I understand why you did what you did. All of it."

Sasuke's eyes snapped to his. "Do you?"

Naruto held his gaze, then slowly nodded. "After Itachi took down Kakashi, I knew you'd leave. You needed a teacher who could help you get stronger than Itachi. Kakashi… couldn't. No one in the village could. Including me, at the time."

The admission was a hard one for Naruto to make, because he had wanted _so desperately_ to be strong enough to protect Sasuke back then, to be what the dark-haired boy had needed. He had worked so hard, but… it hadn't been enough. Not then. He had failed his friend.

Sasuke's piercing eyes watched the emotions flickering across Naruto's expressive face. The same anguish he had seen on them at their first battle at the Valley of the End, when Sasuke had been so close to giving in. But he hadn't. He'd forced himself to go on and carry out his plan.

Did he have regrets? Could it have been done differently, with less pain? Sasuke didn't know, but he doubted it. And in any case, there was no going back.

Sasuke decided it was better to shift the conversation to something else he'd been wondering about since Naruto's mission to clear Itachi's name and become clear.

"How long have you been working on the mission to clear Itachi?"

Naruto blinked at the change in topic, but allowed it. He honestly didn't know what else could be said anyway. "Since Tobi told me the truth about what happened that night."

"When did he tell you?" Sasuke's voice was tense.

"Just before the Kage summit, after I…" Naruto trailed off, remembering his interview with the Raikage, where he'd begged him to forgive Sasuke's actions, only to find out that Sasuke had joined forces with the Akatsuki. Naruto's lips clamped shut. That was not something he would discuss with Sasuke. He didn't need the dark-haired nin to know the true depths his obsession with him had reached over the years. It would probably send him fleeing back to Orochimaru for safety.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, aware that Naruto was holding something back, but knowing he was in no position to push. Yet.

"That is a long time" Sasuke said instead.

Naruto nodded. "We had to be very careful, and Danzo is paranoid. He didn't leave things just laying around. But Kakashi said that we needed something other than Tobi's word, given that he was, you know, CRAZY and a member of Akatsuki and could easily just be fucking with me because cyou were a major weakness for me." Sasuke's eyebrows rose at that, but Naruto was continuing. "Even so… I could tell Kakashi believed him," Naruto said softly.

Sasuke forced himself to breathe slowly. It had been a long time since he'd thought of the silver-haired man as his sensei. But he was surprised to realize it mattered, somehow, that the man had believed in Itachi. It brought the smallest flicker of respect back to a man he'd written off as yet another person who'd blindly allowed everything to happen without questioning it.

"I wanted to tell everyone right away," Naruto said, the remembered anger and _disbelief_ that something so horrible could have been covered up surging back to him. "But even Itachi... didn't want it to happen. He didn't want the Uchiha name to be tainted."

Sasuke sneered, trying to push down the pain that the conversation was bringing in his chest. "The Uchiha name has already been destroyed. We're a cursed clan, and everyone knows it."

Naruto could only look at his friend, seeing the swirl of emotion in the dark eyes. So much anger and pain and loneliness. He wanted to say something, to tell Sasuke it wasn't true, but the truth was that most people would agree with Sasuke on that.

"Why did you believe Tobi, without any evidence?" Sasuke asked finally.

"I…" Naruto thought back to that conversation. The sinking feeling he had, the way it lined up with what Itachi had said before he'd died when he'd met Naruto in the forest and given him Shisui's eye. "I remembered what Itachi had said to me, when we met when I was on a mission. About impossible choices, and that I couldn't I know how I'd react if I had to choose between saving you and saving the village." Naruto's voice was soft with remembered pain and respect for the dead Shinobi. "The way he said the words… it felt at the time like it was a choice he had made, but I didn't understand then."

He looked up to see Sasuke's eyes filled with anguish.

Naruto drew a shaky breath. "When he talked to me… I… I felt like something was not right. Itachi could have attacked me. I was alone, and looking right at him."

"Tch. Moron," Sasuke said, though there was no venom in it.

Naruto grinned half-heartedly. "Yeah. He asked me why I wasn't running away, as protocol would have recommended."

Sasuke looked at him. "Why didn't you?"

Naruto picked up his spoon, and began scraping the edge of the bowl with it, no longer meeting Sasuke's gaze.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand to still the annoying motion. "Answer the question. Itachi was an S-rank criminal. Not only did you violate the standard rule for engaging a sharingan holder of always fighting at least two on one, but you did it knowing you _suck_ at genjutsu."

Naruto glanced up at Sasuke's intense gaze, but then looked away. "He said he wanted to talk to me. I thought… I wanted him to leave you alone. So I…" Naruto bit his lip, remembering how he'd told Itachi that he was a terrible brother to Sasuke. The guilt of that conversation still ate at him. He hadn't known, at the time.

"You _fucking moron!_ " Sasuke breathed out fiercely as his grip tightened hard enough to leave a bruise before he flung Naruto's hand away, sending the spoon flying across the room. He stood, raking a hand through his hair before glaring back at Naruto. "You didn't know at that point that he was still under the council's orders! He could easily have trapped you in his mangekyo sharingan and killed you. How could you take such a stupid risk? You had _no right -"_

"Don't tell me what I had the right to do or not, you asshole!" Naruto stood, taking a step towards his former rival, his voice rising in anger. "You left. You gave up all say in what I do. You were out of control and I couldn't find you and bring you back and the last thing I wanted was to have to face my best friend in battle. If there was _any chance_ to have Itachi leave you alone, it was worth it. And if I hadn't heard him out, we might have ended up losing the war."

Sasuke blinked, realizing he was missing a piece in the story. "How did your meeting with Itachi have anything to do with winning the war?"

Naruto stopped, belatedly realizing that Sasuke didn't know how Itachi had broken the control of the edo tensei. How could he really say that Itachi had given him Shisui's eye, in case the 'worst happened' and Sasuke actually went so far as to kill his own brother and take his eyes? Naruto wasn't an idiot. He'd seen the way Sasuke avoided looking at himself in the mirror, the haunted expression on his face when he thought no one was looking. Sasuke was already on the edge, and Naruto didn't want to break him. They couldn't have this conversation now.

"Just that he trusted me after that," Naruto said, careful not to look away or shift.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and he surged forward, slamming Naruto up against the wall. He could tell Naruto was holding something back. Again. "What, you and Itachi were working together all the time after that? While I was stupidly chasing after him, thinking he was the one who single-handedly decided to kill our clan for no better reason than to test his fucking strength?"

Naruto's eyes widened, too shocked by Sasuke's words to even consider defending himself. "No! Sasuke, I didn't know! I told you, I found out about Itachi after you… after he was already dead! If I'd known before, don't you think I would have found you and stopped you?"

Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes and saw the terrible brokenness there. The crushing guilt and loneliness... the total loss of everything that had mattered to him.

Sasuke's breathing was ragged, all his emotions rushing to the surface. He couldn't handle it. He needed relief. Abruptly, he stepped back, releasing Naruto and turning toward the door. "It doesn't matter now. I'm tired. I'm going home."

Naruto saw the way Sasuke's fingers were shaking. It made him nervous about the real reason Sasuke was going to go home. He'd known the other well enough as a child to know that Sasuke never slept on nights like this, where the memories of his family's death were fresh and tangible.

"No," Naruto said flatly. He had no idea if Sasuke had more drugs in his house, or if he was just going to drink himself unconscious, but he knew for a fact that his friend wasn't going home to sleep. "Stay here. If you're tired, you can have my bed."

Sasuke ignored him, pulling open the door.

Before he could even think about it, he was across the room, slamming the door shut before Sasuke could exit through it.

"You're not leaving, Sasuke. I'm not letting you go again," the raw emotion in Naruto's voice gave the words a weighted meaning that hung in the room between them. They both knew Naruto was not just referring to Sasuke leaving the apartment, but neither was going to address it. Naruto couldn't lose Sasuke to the drugs. He wouldn't stand by passively and watch Sasuke destroy himself. He didn't know if the bullshit that Tsunade had talked to him about earlier would work, but he knew one thing that would.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder roughly and spun him around to face him. As expected, Sasuke's fist immediately lashed out.

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice was laced with warning.

Naruto ignored it, dodging the blow and countering. If Sasuke needed something to blow off steam, Naruto knew for a fact that beating the shit out of someone worked. Realization flickered in Sasuke's eyes, and he settled into the spar.

Sasuke leapt to the side, sweeping his leg out and nearly catching Naruto off balance as Naruto quickly went through the hand seals to lay the sound proof seal that he had used back at Sasuke's place. The last thing Naruto wanted was Anbu coming in to break up their fight. As long as they both refrained from using chakra in the battle, they would now be left undisturbed.

Sasuke waited until Naruto had finished laying the seal before attacking again.

Neither spoke. Naruto had refused Sasuke the release he sought, and was offering an alternate. Sasuke decided to accept. He felt his mind settle into the calm void of battle, all his conscious thought focused on reading his opponents moves. There was no room for anything else with someone as skilled as Naruto. A small smile ghosted across his lips at the internal admission. He supposed one of these days he would actually say it out loud to the blond.

Naruto saw the slight curve of Sasuke's lips and grinned back. When they were young, they had both taken out their anger and frustrations with the world on the training fields, neither child able to express themselves in other ways. He supposed neither had really grown much in that way since then. But it was ok, he realized, as he watched Sasuke's dark eyes tracking his movements. Because they understood each other.

Sasuke's fist grazed Naruto's jaw, sending his head snapping back. He moved in to capitalize on the opening he'd created, but Naruto was already anticipating it and swept his leg out, causing Sasuke to shift back to avoid being taken down.

Neither man was going full out, but they weren't going easy either. Naruto flipped forward, bringing his leg down in the move he'd copied from Sasuke in the Chunin exams so long ago. Sasuke smirked, stepping out of the way just in time for Naruto to smash one of the two kitchen chairs he had to kindling.

Sasuke saw the humor glinting in Naruto's eyes and knew it had been done on purpose, reminding him of their rivalry so many years ago, when Naruto had been watching every move Sasuke made, trying to find a way to catch up.

He was caught by surprise when Naruto landed the kick but immediately flipped on his hand to clip Sasuke in the side with his other leg, forcing him to fall back to avoid having his rib broken.

They continued on for over an hour before they both paused, surveying the wreckage of Naruto's apartment. Every piece of furniture in eyesight was smashed beyond recognition. There was a large hole in the wall that separated the living space from Naruto's bedroom. Their eyes met as their chests heaved. Naruto felt his lips twitch at the thought of the two most powerful shinobi in the village, arguably in the world, standing in such a state. Sasuke's lips also twitched, and it was all over for Naruto. His laughter bubbled up, and before he could control it he was doubled over with laughter.

He looked up to see Sasuke standing next to him, watching him with an amused light in his eyes and his lips curved into a tiny but unmistakable smile. Naruto tugged on the (now tattered) sleeve of Sasuke's shirt and pulled him down to sit on the floor with him until he'd finished laughing.

Sasuke had never had as much stamina as Naruto, and going several months without training hadn't help close that gap at all, so he was more than happy to be tugged down to the floor. "Usuratonkachi," he murmured, watching Naruto's shoulders still shaking with mirth. "No wonder they don't let you have a larger apartment."

"B-bastard!" Naruto gasped out, still laughing. "You broke a bunch of shit, too!"

"Hn," Sasuke said, his lips still curved as his eyes started to drift closed. God, he was so tired. He could hardly ever remember being this exhausted from just sparring. But it was good. Instead of feeling the sick, hollow sort of tired he'd been feeling for months, he felt… ok. Calm. He looked down at his torn, sweaty shirt, unaware the blue eyes were focused on every subtle flicker of emotion on his face.

"Hey," Naruto nudged Sasuke's leg with his knee, earning a tired looking glare. "Go shower before you fall asleep, or you'll be annoyed at how gross you feel in the morning."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, but didn't disagree. He'd been fastidious about his hygiene for most of his life - something the blond ninja used to taunt him about. The past few months had been an… aberration in that.

"I'll get some clean clothes for you, since those are trashed," Naruto said, smirking at the disheveled state the dark-haired ninja was in.

"Hn," Sasuke said, slowly pulling himself to his feet and heading to Naruto's bathroom. He didn't look back, but Naruto was sure he saw a smirk on the pale face. "You look even worse. I landed two more hits than you."

Naruto grinned, glad he hadn't been the only one keeping count. It was almost worth losing for. Almost. "One of those was when I was setting the seal. But whatever. I'll beat your ass next time."

Sasuke arched a black brow, then went into the bathroom, closing the door. Naruto didn't hear the lock click, and the thought of Sasuke stripping off his sweaty clothes as he waited for the water to warm made Naruto feel slightly lightheaded. Forcing his thoughts away from that, he quickly made a shadow clone and sent it over to Sasuke's apartment to get some clothes.

Given that the clone could basically teleport from seal to seal, it should be back before Sasuke was done in the shower. He was lucky that he had enough chakra that the shadow clone would be able to use the teleportation seal as well as he could. He wondered how many clones he could maintain that could use the teleportation technique at the same time. It was definitely something he wanted to test out.

Naruto released the seal before the Anbu went too crazy about the amount of time they'd been blocked. He went to his room - the only room in the house not completely destroyed - and put some fresh sheets on the bed since he couldn't remember if he'd changed them recently.

He was just finishing when he heard the shower turn off. Luckily, his clone reappeared at the same time, wearing a slightly grim expression. The clone thrust the spare clothes into Naruto's hand and dispelled. Naruto blinked at the acquired information and fought down his surge of temper, drawing in a steadying breath. He knew they had to take it day by day.

Naruto knocked lightly on the door. "I've got some clean clothes for you."

Sasuke opened the door, with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Naruto's eyes betrayed him as the followed a stray droplet of water that dripped from Sasuke's hair onto his pale, well-formed chest. But the exhaustion in the dark eyes snapped his focus back before his thoughts to get too far astray.

"I put on clean sheets. Go lay down. I'm going to wash up and be there in a minute. We have to go see Tsunade in the morning," Naruto thrust the clean clothes into Sasuke's hands as he walked into the still steamy bathroom.

"We?" Sasuke asked, eyeing the clothes suspiciously as he recognized they were his.

"I sent a shadow-clone to get some of your own clothes, since I wasn't sure if you'd stoop to wearing mine, and I didn't want the entire female population to die of a nosebleed if you decided to walk to your place in just a towel. And yes, 'we' will be seeing Tsunade tomorrow because _you_ were the one to promise her I'd go." Naruto shoved Sasuke out of the small bathroom and closed the door behind him.

He hoped Sasuke bought his argument. He didn't want to leave Sasuke alone, even for the short time it would take him to go to the Hokage's office for his check-up.

Especially not after what his clone had found behind the headboard of Sasuke's bed.

Naruto showered quickly, reminding himself that it this was not something to be taken lightly. He wasn't experienced with drugs, but he also wasn't naive. The worst was yet to come.

The only thing that kept him calm was that he knew that Sasuke was strong. He could handle it. He would make it through this. Even if Naruto had to kick his ass.

Finishing his shower in record time, Naruto dried off and pulled on a pair of loose sweat pants and an old T-shirt. He usually didn't sleep with a shirt on, but he decided it was safer this way. If Sasuke started something, he honestly didn't know if he'd be able to stop him again, and he didn't want to deal with the guilt he knew he'd feel later.

When he came out, Sasuke was already in bed, one arm behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling. "Your bed is small," Sasuke said, his voice sounding tired.

"Yeah," Naruto gave Sasuke a small grin as he turned off the light and slid into bed next to him. "It's not meant for company."

Somehow the thought made Sasuke relax even more. He knew he had been Naruto's first. This made it clear that it was because Naruto had not been interested in anyone else. He didn't know why that thought seemed to calm him so much. He closed his eyes.

Going on missions made both men familiar with sharing close sleeping quarters with team mates. Modesty was a luxury not afforded to ninja in general. But Sasuke would admit at least to himself that he had never felt as comfortable in the company of others as he did with Naruto. Despite being enemies for so long, there was no one he trusted more than the man laying beside him in the small bed.

His lips twitched as he thought about the state of Naruto's apartment. They'd have to deal with that in the morning. But it felt good, in a way, to sleep with the wreckage still there. As though the evidence of the purging of his emotions made it more permanent. He knew it wasn't permanent. He knew the feelings would slowly creep back.

But for tonight, it was ok.

He turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. For right now, he was alright.

"Thanks," Sasuke murmured, his voice barely enough to be heard through the darkness.

Naruto had to fight the urge to wrap his arms around Sasuke and pull him close. He knew that that kind of contact was not something Sasuke was likely to allow.

"Any time. But you're helping me clean it up in the morning."

"Hn."

Naruto could hear the smile, even if he couldn't see it.

Their arms were touching each other - the only point of contact between their bodies. Naruto lay there, listening to Sasuke's breathing begin to slow, feeling the pale man's body gradually relax into sleep. Naruto felt his throat close at how _right_ it felt to lay there together in the darkness on his narrow bed. It had always been just the two of them. No matter how far apart they'd been.

It's all there would ever be.

* * *

Sasuke woke before the dawn, his legs having the familiar restless twitching feeling that he recognized from when they were at Orochimaru's lair. A warm weight lay across his stomach, and he didn't need to turn over to know it was Naruto's arm. The tiny bed didn't leave much space for two bodies, but somehow it didn't bother him.

He shifted, his body already feeling sore. It could have been from the extensive sparring session they'd had last night, but Sasuke didn't think so.

The clamminess of his palms and the slight nausea building in his stomach were all signals that today was going to be bad. He thought briefly of the small jar he'd hidden in his bedroom. Naruto was too likely to find it in his kitchen, now that the blond knew what to look for.

He wondered if he would be able to slip out of bed without waking the other man. But even if he did, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. It was clear that - as soon as Naruto's hand was healed - he was going to go back to trying to clear Itachi's name and take down whoever had been involved. And it was clear that there _were_ other people besides the council who were involved.

If Sasuke wanted any chance of helping with that, then it would be better for him to deal with the withdrawal now and get it out of the way. There was no way Naruto would let him go with him if he knew Sasuke was still using.

He considered briefly whether he'd be able to fool the blond, but outright lying to Naruto felt weak. Even when it came to his intention to destroy the village and kill Naruto, he'd been direct about it. To lie about something as trivial as drugs felt pathetic. Sasuke wouldn't sink that low.

Which meant he had to decide. Was the bliss of not having to deal with the memories and emotions of the past worth being unable to do anything about the present?

It was surprisingly not an easy call to make. But Sasuke was tired of being controlled. First by Itachi, then Madara… he wasn't going to let some fucking _chemical_ control him now. He was stronger than that.

He felt Naruto's grip tighten slightly around him as Naruto drew in a deep breath against the side of his neck. It sent a coil of heat low in his abdomen, and if he weren't already feeling like shit, he would have rolled over and woken the blond up properly. But given he wasn't sure how long his stomach was going to remain compliant, he decided it would have to wait a day or two. Hopefully not much longer than that.

So instead, he simply closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Naruto's body relax him. He was strong enough to get through this. He'd go with Naruto to Tsunade's in the morning, then he'd spend the next day or two breaking his addiction. He hadn't been on the drugs that long.

How hard could it really be?

* * *

Naruto frowned as he watched Sasuke poke at the rice porridge he'd made them this morning.

"You're not eating," Naruto observed.

Sasuke shrugged. "Tired."

Naruto chewed his lip, not sure how hard to push. He had a feeling he knew what was happening, and eating wasn't likely to help much. They had cleaned up the apartment before breakfast with the help of a few shadow clones to help, most of it winding up in garbage bags given it was destroyed beyond hope of repair. He'd have to go furniture shopping soon.

But for now, they were seated on his bed, eating from the few unbroken dishes he had left.

"Let's finish up and go to Tsunade's. Then you can sleep," Naruto felt only slightly guilty about forcing Sasuke to come with him, given that the man was obviously not feeling well, but there was no way he was going to leave him alone when he was starting to go through withdrawal.

Sasuke managed to get down a few bites before covering his bowl and putting it in the fridge.

Naruto's lips tightened, but he didn't say anything.

"Let's go."

The appeared in the Hokage's office at the appointed time, earning only a small glare from Tsunade as she quickly examined Naruto's arm. In reality, she was more concerned about the dark-haired man accompanying him.

She could see the extreme pallor of Sasuke's skin and the slight sheen of sweat forming on his brow. The way the pale throat worked convulsively at times told her he was trying to keep from getting sick.

Given the bits and pieces she'd learned from the Anbu that had been trailing Sasuke for the past three months, it didn't take a genius for her to figure out what was going on. She'd love to know who his dealer was, though. Any idiot who sold something like that to a nin as dangerous and unstable as Sasuke deserved to have a little visit from Ibiki.

But she would deal with that later. For now, she had to make sure that Sasuke got through this. It was clear the Uchiha would not accept help or interference from anyone other than Naruto, so she would keep quiet for now.

She passed no judgement on Sasuke. She was no stranger to addictions herself. Though that was mostly all in her past. She now confined herself only to sake, but there had been a time after Dan had died, the dreams of her own screams and his blood staining her hands…

She drew herself back and focused on Naruto's hand. "No change with your arm. Shizune and Sai might have found a possible way to stop the effect of the seal. They have a few more things to look into, but if all goes well, we might be able to try to stop the seal's progression in your next visit tomorrow."

Naruto's face brightened. "That's great! Just let me know when they're ready."

His gaze shot over to Sasuke, who was looking worse and worse by the second. "Uh… I have to… go train. I'll see you later, baa-chan!"

Before Tsunade could even reprimand him for the annoying name, he had grabbed the Uchiha by the wrist and they were gone.

Tsunade stood for a moment, looking at the spot where they had been standing an instant before. "Good luck, Uchiha," she murmured. Whatever punishment she might have come up with for the rogue ninja's lapse in judgement, it was nothing compared to what he was about to go through. She shuddered slightly at the memory.

* * *

Sasuke stumbled as they appeared on the porch to his house. He was so focused on not throwing up that it didn't even register that they had teleported directly there from the Hokage's office, rather than to Naruto's apartment as he had expected.

"Given that my place is basically trashed, I figured we'd come here instead. Plus, your bed is more comfortable."

Sasuke glared at him as he opened the door to his house. But the glare was cut short as he suddenly paled and ran to the bathroom, barely making it before all his efforts at trying to eat breakfast were violently undone.

He heard Naruto enter softly behind him, lifting the lid to the toilet for better access, rightly assuming they were going to be there for a while.

"I'll get a glass of water from the kitchen, so you can rinse your mouth," Naruto said, his voice calm.

"What, you're going to sit here and watch me puke all day?" Sasuke asked bitterly. He hated weakness, especially in himself. Letting himself get addicted was an embarrassment. But there was no point in hiding it from Naruto. He already knew the truth.

Naruto grinned, though it didn't hide the worry in his eyes. "Maybe I'll consider this karma's payback for you being such a stubborn asshole for the past six years."

"Pfft," Sasuke said, closing his eyes against another wave of nausea, relieved there had been no pity in Naruto's voice. He couldn't have handled that. He tried to get his mind to focus on something else, knowing that he needed to not think about how easy it would be to make this all go away with just one small amount of…

He heard Naruto re-enter the bathroom, and a cool glass was pressed into his hands. He looked at it briefly before rinsing his mouth and spitting the water into the sink.

"You put a seal on my house without asking me."

Naruto grinned. "Just consider yourself lucky I didn't put it on your damn ass, Uchiha. After all the chasing you made me do for the past four years, you'd really fucking deserve it."

Sasuke shot him a glare that would have made lesser ninja tremble in fear.

Then he promptly turned and puked into the toilet again.

-xXx-

_to be continued..._

P.S. Many people have mentioned in PMs or reviews that they never know what to say, and I know how that goes. I am not one of those writers who gets mad when people leave a note saying 'update' or 'yes!' or whatever. Anything that let's me know people are enjoying the story and wanting to read more of it makes me feel good about writing. So... thank you! And don't stress about making some super-amazing comment if you are like tired and reading this on your phone 5 min before falling asleep... just a smiley face is good. :-)


	16. Withdrawal Part 2

**Warning: SCENES OF WITHDRAWAL... and fluff (ish) -** Sasuke and Naruto trying to discuss the past and try to process their emotions. Yeah, they don't do it well. BUT THEY ARE TRYING!

 **Author's note:**  Thank you for all the awesome reviews! I am so glad that a lot of you are looking forward to the actual conversations between Naruto and Sasuke. I think I craved them actually TALKING about shit at least as much as I craved them jumping each other. So... YAY! (though, of course, I will also need to have them jumping each other again quite soon)

**-xXx-**

Naruto leaned against the sink as he tried to keep every trace of worry from his face as he watched Sasuke's body tense convulsively on his knees in front of the toilet. The pale man's stomach had long since been emptied, but his body was evidently convinced that there was still something to get out.

When he had finished, Sasuke gave a shuddering sigh and leaned back against the edge of the tub, closing his eyes. Naruto honestly didn't know what to do or how to help. His only experience with illness had been back when he was a child and hadn't known about things like expiration dates or that food couldn't be left out for over a certain amount of time before going bad. But those incidents had always passed quickly, usually in under an hour. No one had helped him or cooked for him or comforted him. Having lived alone his entire life, he'd had to manage on his own. He had no role model now for how to care for someone else who was sick, or how to give comfort.

He looked at Sasuke, noticing how his pale face was damp with sweat, making the dark bangs stick to his forehead. Naruto reached forward and tentatively brushed them out of the way, drawing his hand back quickly as Sasuke's eyes snapped opened, looking at him intently. The silence stretched awkwardly. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"Do you… want more water?" Naruto asked, not really sure what else he could do... what else Sasuke would allow him to do.

Sasuke let his eyes drift closed again, shaking his head slightly. He wrenched the sweat-soaked shirt he'd been wearing over his head, throwing it near the door. His breathing was coming in shallow pants, and Naruto could see the sheen of sweat that covered his pale body.

The blond shifted his feet, feeling useless, earning a glare from the man sitting on the floor.

"You don't need to babysit me, Dobe. I'm not going to die. My body just needs to get used to being without the opium. The worst of it should be over in a couple of days," Sasuke's voice was inflectionless and cold, as though annoyed at the other's presence.

Naruto rolled his eyes, unimpressed by the glare. "You can be as much of an ass as you want. I'm not leaving you alone."

Sasuke's glare faded, but Naruto wasn't able to read his expression. "Is it fun for you? To watch this?" The bitterness in Sasuke's tone made Naruto ache. He understood pride, and fear of weakness. Sasuke had more reason to be both than most people.

But that didn't mean he was going to let Sasuke push him away. "Yeah, because watching someone puke is just so much fun."

Sasuke's eyes didn't waver, but Naruto could see the shivers starting to wrack the man's frame. "You were always looking for ways to beat me. This is just the easiest one you could find."

Despite knowing that Sasuke was baiting him, Naruto couldn't help the splinter of anger that the words evoked. He managed to keep his voice calm, but he didn't temper his words. "Fuck you, Sasuke. You're the one who always had to show he was so much better than everyone else. That you never need anyone. You're just pissed as hell that you fucked up and got addicted. Don't try to turn it back on me."

Naruto could see the muscles in Sasuke's arms and stomach clenching, though he couldn't tell if it was due to physical pain from withdrawal or in anger at Naruto's words. Whatever the cause, the cold glare from Sasuke's eyes never wavered.

"I don't need you," Sasuke's voice was completely flat, without the slightest hesitation.

Naruto ignored the flash of pain that the words left in him. It was far from the cruelest thing Sasuke had said to him. He wouldn't let it distract him. Intuitively, he knew that this was a critical moment in determining whether Sasuke got through this or not. He didn't know what to do, but he knew what _not_ to do. He would not give up. He would not abandon his friend. No matter how big of an asshole he was at the moment. Because there were other moments...

"You can push all you want, Sasuke, but I'm not leaving. For a genius, I'd think you would have figured out by now that you wouldn't be able to drive me away that easily. God knows you've tried just about everything."

Sasuke held his gaze for a moment before turning his head to the side, allowing his eyes to close. The muscles in his body seemed to unclench slightly, and Naruto wondered if it was his imagination or if a flicker of relief had flashed through Sasuke's eyes before he closed them.

"It's your time. You can waste it if you want to."

Naruto chuckled. "God. You are an unbelievable bastard." He looked at the man lying on the bathroom floor, propped up against the tub. At least Sasuke wasn't throwing up again. "Do you think you could eat anything?"

The look Sasuke shot him was a definitive 'no'.

Naruto picked up the soiled shirt from the floor, frowning as he noticed that Sasuke was still shivering. "Let me at least get you something clean to put on."

"It will just get dirty again."

"Then I will fucking _wash it,_ asshole." Naruto stalked out of the bathroom, tossing the crumpled shirt into the washer, knowing he would be adding more into the machine before the day was out. He went to Sasuke's room to find another shirt. The sight of the bed made reminded him of what his clone had found when he'd searched the house. He hoped he'd found it all and that Sasuke didn't have another stash. It would be harder to search when Sasuke was here.

* * *

Naruto was just heading back to the bathroom with a clean shirt when he felt a slight flicker of a chakra presence coming from the front of the house. It was very slight, as though it were being suppressed and only the smallest amount trickling out. But it was familiar, and trusted, and Naruto immediately went to the door to see what the Hokage wanted, hoping that she hadn't come to see Sasuke.

Sasuke appeared to not have noticed the presence. The sounds of retching from the bathroom explained why. Further proof, if any were needed, that ninjas should not do drugs. If it had been an enemy, Sasuke would have been dead before he'd even noticed their approach.

Naruto opened the door, and was surprised to find a bag of what appeared to be groceries and a letter. Tsunade's chakra signature had vanished, and Naruto realized that she had released the suppression of her chakra just enough for him to sense her and come before concealing herself again, and likely was on her way back to the tower, unnoticed.

Curious, he opened the bag, finding a variety of vegetables, some fresh ginger, oranges, and two vials of what looked like some sort of medicine. He opened the letter, slowly realizing that she must have somehow become aware of what was happening with Sasuke, and slipped out to help without letting anyone else discover it. He wondered if she would ream the Anbu squad out that was supposed to be protecting her. He felt uneasy at the thought that possibly the Anbu had seen Sasuke doing the drugs. The last thing the rogue nin needed was another reason for people to think of him as untrustworthy.

Relief washed over him as he read the note:

_Gaki_

_You can't think I wouldn't notice. While I respect your loyalty to your former teammate, I expect you to tell me about things like this. I have not informed even Kakashi, but I expect a daily report on his condition from you when you come in to have your arm checked._

_Besides the fact that Sasuke would be extremely dangerous if he were to lose control, you know nothing about how to help him get through this. There are two parts to withdrawal that he will need to address. The first is the physical withdrawal, where his body is adjusting to the lack of the drug in his system. The first two days will be the worst, with aches, vomiting, chills, and insomnia. The biggest risk is dehydration. He will probably not be able to eat much solid foods, but clear broth and diluted juices will be your best bet. The bag contains recipes and ingredients for this. If he is unable to hold even water down, I have included a medicine that can reduce the nausea._

_The second part of the withdrawal is the mental part of the addiction… the craving for whatever it was he was looking for when he took the drug in the first place. Depending on how long and how much he was taking, this can last years. If he hasn't been on it for very long, then he might get past this quickly. He will likely at some point try to get more, if he hasn't already. The best thing for him is to keep distracted. Give him something else to focus on. Talk to him. Have him read. Anything to keep his mind off the drug. If he absolutely needs to, I have enclosed a small amount of a medicine that will help him to relax, but this can also become addictive, so only use it if absolutely necessary._

_Once he is no longer physically ill, you can take him to the training fields and spar. He will need to find a way to release the stress of breaking the mental addiction, and in my experience, sparring works the best._

_If he relapses, or if you are unable to get him to give up the drugs, he will become too great a risk. He likely already knows this. Do what you can, but in the end it will be up to him to get himself out of the hole he has dug._

Naruto stared at the paper for a minute. He was surprised that she was allowing Sasuke to stay under his care… and that her tone seemed so… understanding.

She was going to let them handle this with minimal intervention. She was going to give Sasuke a chance. Relief flooded through him at the knowledge. More than anything, he wanted Sasuke to have a chance to actually live again.

He put the letter down on the counter. Sasuke could read it if he wanted to... Naruto wasn't going to keep it from him. Remembering the clean shirt he was carrying in his hand, he walked over to the bathroom, leaving a clone to sort through the recipes and groceries and hopefully make something Sasuke could hold down.

He paused in the doorway to the bathroom. Sasuke was in roughly the same position he had left him before, though he was looking slightly paler, and the shaking appeared worse. "Here. Put this on," Naruto said, tossing the clean shirt over.

Sasuke caught it easily, looking at it for a moment before sighing and sliding it on, then zipping it up halfway, the muscles in his arms and chest glistening slightly with his sweat.

"Do you want to lie down in the bed?"

"Not yet," Sasuke's face was drawn with fatigue.

Naruto walked over and sat down next to him on the floor the sides of their hips just barely brushing against each other.

"I'm dirty," Sasuke said, a slight look of embarrassment crossing his face as he turned his face slightly away.

"Then I'll try not to lick you," Naruto joked, trying to keep his face serious. The way Sasuke's eyes widened slightly had the blond snickering. After a moment, a tiny smile appeared on Sasuke's lips.

"Hn. Idiot." Sasuke's body seemed to relax slightly. He wasn't quite leaning against Naruto, but somehow it seemed like his body wasn't pulling away from the contact like it had been before.

Naruto shifted down to get into a more comfortable position on the hard tile floor. "I'm making some broth for you. You've lost a lot of fluids, and you can't get dehydrated."

Sasuke looked at him, not saying anything.

"You said it would be about two or three days, right? Before this is over? So you'll need to be able to hold things down. Or at least try," Naruto continued, not sure if Sasuke was going to resist his help or not.

Sasuke looked away again. "I know," he said, quietly. "You don't need to stay and be my cook."

There was no venom in his voice... it was more as if he were trying to state a simple fact. It struck Naruto that Sasuke was just as unused to anyone taking care of him as he was. It was an emotional vulnerability that neither boy knew how to handle with any manner of grace. Their thick, self-protective shells had had years to toughen and harden over them.

"Like you said… it's my time. I can waste it how I want."

"Tch," Sasuke closed his eyes, resting his head back against the wall of the tub, but there was a slight softening around his mouth that might almost be a small smile.

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit."

"That's specific," Naruto said drily.

Sasuke sighed, looking over at Naruto in resignation. "I have muscle cramps, chills, nausea, and a massive fucking headache."

Naruto let his leg lean against Sasuke's as he turned towards him, sliding his fingers into the soft, black hair at the base of Sasuke's neck. The tan fingers slowly pressed upwards, sliding along and massaging the scalp. It was something he did to himself when he was tense, and it always seemed to make him feel better.

Sasuke's body went rigid for an instant and Naruto thought he would push him away. But then the black eyes closed and the pale man seemed to relax into the touch. They sat there together in silence, Naruto's fingers continuing their strong, soothing motions.

After several minutes, Naruto's clone appeared to let them know that the broth and rice was ready.

"No rice," Sasuke whispered, his face paling further at the thought of solid food.

"Then at least the broth," Naruto insisted, wondering if he would need to carry Sasuke. His intention must have shown, because Sasuke leveled a glare at him that threatened bodily dismemberment if Naruto tried to actually pick him up.

Instead, Naruto stood and reached a hand down. Sasuke looked at the extended hand, hesitating for a moment.

"Oh, for fuck's sake just take my hand. It doesn't make you any less of a ninja. And I promise Danzo's seal isn't contagious. It can't spread by contact," Naruto rolled his eyes, adding on the final taunt to make it clear he'd view Sasuke as a coward if he didn't take the hand.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the obvious ploy, but still gripped Naruto's wrist and pulled himself up. "It better not, considering what else of mine you've touched with it."

Naruto choked, shocked again that Sasuke might possibly be making a dirty joke... then chuckled. "Yeah, somehow I don't think you'd want Tsunade and Sai examining your dick and doing tests."

Sasuke snorted as they headed to the kitchen, where a steaming bowl of broth and some rice was waiting.

* * *

Sasuke eyed the food skeptically as they sat down at the table, but took a spoonful and swallowed. He seemed surprised when it stayed down, and Naruto wondered if it was surprise at his stomach or at Naruto's cooking. "It's… good. Ginger?" Sasuke asked.

"And tomatoes and a bunch of vegetables that I strained out," the clone responded, looking absurdly pleased at the compliment. Naruto shot it a glare, which the clone responded by giving him the finger before dispelling, his work complete.

Sasuke's gaze caught on the unfamiliar shopping bag sitting on the counter. "When did you go shopping?"

"I didn't," Naruto said, standing and taking the note Tsunade had left him and handing it to Sasuke. He decided there was no point in hiding it from Sasuke. The older boy took it and skimmed it, his face expressionless.

"She knows," Sasuke stated. "Why didn't she have the Anbu arrest me?"

The words were said with no emotion at all, as though Sasuke didn't really care either way but was merely puzzled by what he perceived as a logical inconsistency.

"First of all, I seriously doubt you would be the only Anbu member on the stuff. But honestly I think... she wants to give you a chance."

Sasuke sneered, not ready to accept something so... human from the leader of the village he'd been bent on destroying. "And why would she do that? She barely let me back into the village. If it weren't for you, I would be dead or in jail."

Naruto decided he wouldn't answer for Tsunade. He wasn't sure he understood her motivations either, but one thing he was pretty sure about. "I think she made it pretty clear she still wants you to join Anbu."

The statement hung in the air between them. Sasuke knew exactly what Naruto was talking about... what he was implying with that comment. If Sasuke joined Anbu, he would get to know what Danzo had done. He would get to know who else had been involved.

He would get to work with Naruto.

But he had to get clean to do it.

"If she wanted to have you arrested, you've given her grounds. The only reason for keeping this a secret would be if she wants you to be able to re-join active duty as soon as possible."

Sasuke toyed with his broth, his stomach churning. Could he do it? Did he want it? He'd hated this village so long, he wasn't sure he really wanted to serve it again.

He looked up to find Naruto's eyes locked on him.

"What else was there?" Sasuke asked.

"From Tsunade? She sent some groceries and –"

"No. At Danzo's hideout. You told me about the letters from Itachi, and order signed by the council. What else did you find?"

Naruto felt trapped by Sasuke's intense gaze. "Sasuke, I already told you more than I was supposed to."

Sasuke noticed in annoyance that his hand was shaking as he held the spoon, so he set it down, laying his hands flat on the table. "What else, Naruto? Tsunade basically told me if I clean up and request to join Anbu she'll put me on this. I need to know if it's worth it."

Sasuke was surprised to see anger flash in Naruto's eyes.

"You should clean yourself up because you're going to end up dead or in prison if you don't. Who the fuck cares about anything else right now? If you get clean just to help with this one mission, then what happens when that one mission is done? When will it be enough, Sasuke?"

Naruto pushed back from the table and was about to stand when Sasuke's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "I'm getting off the drugs because I don't want them to control me. What I'm asking is whether what you found at Danzo's is a good enough reason for me to join Anbu and serve a village that destroyed my fucking life. And yours."

Their gazes locked, and Naruto felt the same pull the always did when he looked into Sasuke's eyes. So much power. So much pain. How could he not love this man?

"Sasuke…." Again, Naruto was at a loss for what to say. He couldn't disagree with Sasuke's statement. Not really. "The village accepts me now."

Sasuke shot him a look that said exactly what he thought about that. "They should do more than just accept you. They should be on their knees begging for your forgiveness. Pein levelled this village, and you were the only one who could stand against him. Which you did, despite all the shit they put you through. The fact that they 'accept' you now just shows what how fast they were to change their minds as long as they get what they wanted. The Uchihas were supposed to be the pride of Konoha, but they were quick to kill us off when someone said we were a threat. They believed you were a demon just waiting to destroy the village, but quickly forgot that and all the shit they did to you as soon as they needed you. How can you stand living here?"

The last question was ripped from Sasuke, as though he had clearly been wondering it for a long time.

Naruto didn't brush it off. He respected Sasuke too much to do that. He thought about it for a moment, trying to answer as honestly as he could.

"I guess… part of it is that this is home, for better or for worse," Naruto ignored Sasuke's derisive scoff. "And I guess I want to change it... I want to make it better, not destroy it. As much as there are bad people, Sasuke, there are good ones, too."

Naruto expected Sasuke to make fun of him for his naiveté. But instead, he found himself under the dark scrutiny again.

"You said that before," Sasuke spoke, his voice low. "And that you were going to use the things you found at Danzo's."

They'd come full circle. Naruto considered how much to tell his friend. A lot of what he found in Danzo's lair delved into the dark side of politics not only in the Nation of Fire, but other nations as well. Sasuke had not really declared his allegiance to Konoha or any particular faction after the war. The information could put Sasuke at risk if people knew he had it. It could also be used as a weapon by Sasuke if the Uchiha decided he was tired of playing nice again.

But Tsunade had opened this door, and if she was willing to take a chance on Sasuke with this, then so was Naruto.

"There Council had its own network of supporters, including high ranking civilians and even people outside of the Fire Country. There were documents that named names. And also showed what they Council used Anbu for... things that went far outside its supposed mandate."

"The scroll that did that to you was one of those documents," Sasuke nodded slightly indicating Naruto's hand.

"Yes."

Sasuke shifted as the muscles in his legs cramped. He could feel the prickles of sweat on his skin. He thought briefly about how easy it would be to make this all go away… to make all the sickness stop. He shoved the seductive thought down, focusing instead on what Naruto was saying. He would not be weak and give in to his craving.

"But there was more besides just that." Sasuke made it a statement rather than a question.

"Yes." Naruto hesitated. "But isn't about the Uchihas. There were lots of things that Danzo was involved in. Things clearly went against the supposed role of the village to provide defense of the Fire country and deal with criminals. Your clan wasn't the only one that they had eliminated. And some were for even less reason"

Sasuke closed his eye, reclining back. "And that's none of my business, right? Because I'm not a ninja anymore. Just a… _civilian_ of questionable loyalty."

Naruto gave him a steady look. "Not even the captain of the Anbu squad protecting Tsunade knows what is in those documents, Sasuke. No one is singling you out."

"But you know what the documents say. You know what they did," Sasuke said.

"Yes. I do. And it's why I am not going to let the Council reform. And why I know I have to watch my back. They are not going to like me changing the system."

Something about the way Naruto said the last part made Sasuke's gut freeze up. If these people were the power behind the Council, and they decided to go after Naruto...

Sasuke looked like he was about to say something, but he stood abruptly and walked back to the bathroom. Naruto sighed as he realized all the effort of getting fluid into Sasuke's system had been undone.

* * *

Naruto entered the bathroom, bringing the bottle of medicine that Tsunade had given him.

"Here. Take some of this," Naruto handed Sasuke the bottle along with a spoon. "It's supposed to help with the nausea."

Sasuke took it and read the label, then sniffed carefully at the contents.

"If she wanted to poison you, she wouldn't do it right in front of me," Naruto said, his voice tinged with annoyance.

"Hn," Sasuke filled a spoon with the brown liquid, then swallowed it. Naruto watched the pale throat work convulsively to keep it down for a few moments. Without thinking, he began rubbing the back of Sasuke's neck again, willing the medicine to stay put.

They sat together on the edge of the tub with Naruto's hand sliding down to make small circles on Sasuke's back as they waited to see if they were going to need to make a second attempt or not.

"How do you feel?" Naruto asked after several minutes, still feeling a bit shocked that Sasuke was allowing him to be with him like this.

Sasuke shot him a half-hearted glare, but then shrugged tiredly. "Maybe better?"

"Why don't you take a shower? I'll go and clean up in the kitchen. When you finish, you can try eating a little bit more, then you can rest."

Sasuke didn't bother to tell Naruto that he wasn't likely to be able to sleep. It didn't matter. His body was exhausted. He felt like he could hardly hold himself up. Even if he couldn't sleep, it would still be good to be somewhere other than the bathroom floor.

Naruto turned on the shower then left, closing the door behind him. Sasuke slowly stripped out of his sweaty clothes then stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good on his body, though the steam made him slightly light-headed, and he turned the water temperature down. The feeling of nausea hadn't totally dissipated, but he _was_ feeling slightly better. It felt good to scrub himself clean. Naruto appeared with a change of clothes, and immediately left with the dirty ones. Sasuke felt oddly disappointed, but shook it off. He'd just spent the evening puking in front of the blond... he was pretty sure sex was the farthest thing on his friend's mind right now. He wouldn't be interested in himself either.

It was strange to have someone looking after him like this. For so much of his life he'd been alone, or in the company of people he knew he couldn't trust. He had learned not to rely on anyone, and not to let his guard down… especially when he was weakened from sickness or injury. Rationally, Sasuke told himself he should be terrified to be in such a weakened condition in front of a man he'd tried repeatedly to kill. At the very least, Sasuke should be wary.

But he realized with some surprise that he wasn't. Rather than finding Naruto's presence a threat, he found it… comforting. There wasn't even the tiniest doubt in Sasuke's mind that not only would Naruto never hurt him when he was in this condition, but the blond would like defend him to the death of someone else tried it. It was a strange sense of security, one that he hadn't really felt since… since Itachi. Before the Council had given the order that had shattered it all.

He closed his eyes against the remembered feeling, fighting off the memories of the times when Itachi had looked after him when their parents were out for the evening. The absolute faith and trust he'd had in his big brother.

It terrified him to feel anything like that again. If Naruto betrayed him… or was killed…

Sasuke couldn't even complete the thought. His whole body was shaking again, but this time he wasn't sure if it was just from withdrawal.

* * *

Sasuke came out to find Naruto eating rice and some sort of chicken. He briefly considered attempting something solid, but at the sight of actual food, he decided he should stick with the broth. He didn't bother heating it up... it would sit as well cool as it did warm.

The medicine that Tsunade gave him seemed to be working, because he was able to get almost the entire bowl of broth and a glass of water down.

It didn't help the overall restless feeling he had, nor the aches in his body. But at least he wasn't going to end up hospitalized for dehydration. And right now, the critical thing was keeping this off the radar. Only Naruto and Tsunade knew what was happening. And if he could make it through the next thirty-six hours, that was all who'd ever need to know.

Naruto watched the way Sasuke's muscles clenched, the determined expression on the pale face as he forced more fluids into his body. He ached for Sasuke. How much more of this would he have to go through before the physical part was over? Naruto shuddered to think of two days or more of this. But at least Sasuke was able to hold something down now. He sent a silent thanks to Tsunade.

Sasuke stood, taking his dishes and washing them in the sink before drying them and putting them away. Naruto finished eating and did the same, aware of dark eyes following his movements assessingly.

"What?" Naruto finally asked, not sure what to make of Sasuke's intense stare.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Tch. Stupid bastard. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I want to help you?"

Sasuke looked at him skeptically. "You always say that. That it's always because I'm your _friend._ "

Naruto shifted, suddenly feeling like he was on dangerous ground, but not seeing a way clear. "So? It's true."

Sasuke leaned back against the counter near the sink. "I don't see you going this far for everyone you call 'friend'."

Naruto swallowed the slight unease that was rising in him. He didn't think Sasuke would take it well if he knew the full extent of Naruto's feelings for him. He felt like he was barely able to keep Sasuke from throwing him out as it was. But whatever else he felt for Sasuke, it was not a lie that he did feel a strong bond of friendship with him. The older boy had never accepted other people's feelings for him in the past. Naruto couldn't afford to drive him away now.

"I help all my friends. I would give my life for any of them," Naruto insisted. "And there was a time when you had risked your life for me. And for Sakura. And for Kakashi. So don't look at me like that. Besides… you were my first friend. So… I guess... you do mean... more."

Sasuke raised a brow, ignoring the cramping in his legs from standing for so long. The panic he'd felt earlier hadn't faded. Naruto was making him feel things that he wasn't ready to feel… didn't want to feel. "I was still a naive child back then. I've grown up."

Naruto snorted, but wasn't really sure he could contradict what Sasuke said. Would Sasuke have died to save the members of Team Taka the way he had been willing to for Team 7? Naruto didn't know… and he honestly didn't know if he wanted the answer to be 'yes' or 'no'.

Sasuke didn't seem happy with the lack of response from Naruto. "You say you feel more for me because I was your first friend. So it's a tenure thing? I've been your friend longest, so I get more... _benefits_? Who's next in line after me then? Is there a tiering system?"

Naruto glared, not sure if Sasuke meant _benefits_ benefits or if he was talking more generally. "Are you _trying_ to be an ass?"

Sasuke shrugged, not sure why he was even getting angry. Why he wanted Naruto to be angry with him. He turned abruptly, heading to his bedroom.

"I'm going to go lay down." He knew he wouldn't sleep, but his body hurt and he could at least rest it.

Naruto let him go, not sure he could say anything that wouldn't just make it worse. He knew that Sasuke was trying to push him away. He wasn't sure whether it was because Sasuke was embarrassed to have Naruto to see him this sick, or if he wanted Naruto to get out of the house so he could get high. Or for some other reason he didn't even know. It didn't matter. Naruto wasn't going to let him do it.

He wouldn't quite admit to himself that he could never walk away from Sasuke in any circumstance. He didn't want to think about that. At all.

Sasuke always seemed to force the issue of _why_ Naruto had chased after him each time they'd met. And he'd always seemed skeptical about Naruto's answer of friendship. He wondered how Sasuke would react if he knew how Naruto really felt. Anger? Disgust? Amusement?

He sighed. Why couldn't he have loved someone simpler, like Hinata?

But he couldn't. He'd tried. After she'd thrown herself in front of Pein and nearly died for him. God, he'd _tried_ to love her.

Sasuke had nearly died for him, too. But in the end it wasn't about that. You can't fall in love with someone out of guilt or a sense of debt or even because it would be easier or make more sense.

It just didn't work that way. A small smile touched Naruto's lips as he thought about the dark-haired boy resting in the other room. No matter what Sasuke pretended, he hadn't really tried very hard to push Naruto out this time. Considering past attempts had included chidori through his chest and nearly a katana through his back, a few cranky words were hardly much effort at all.

* * *

Sasuke lay on his side on his bed, fighting the urge to curl into a ball. He felt like hell. More than just the physical pain, his mind was even more out of control. Given everything he'd learned about his brother and the emotions Naruto's presence and caring was forcing him to remember, he couldn't tell how much of what he felt was due to the withdrawal and how much was because his life really was just that fucked up.

All he could think about was the small bottle that he'd hidden behind his headboard days ago. He knew Naruto would be watching him like a hawk. But even without that, he didn't _want_ to take it. He didn't want to let it control him any more than it already had.

But _fuck,_ he wished he could just feel something _else_ for a while!

He closed his eyes, more to shut out the world than any hope of actually being able to sleep. He couldn't admit it aloud, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to go through this without Naruto here. After living his life constantly watching his back, the thought of being this physically vulnerable would have been unacceptable. He supposed he could go to Orochimaru and get a substitute that would ease the immediate symptoms, but he knew that this would only strengthen the mental part of the addiction. He'd seen it play out enough times to know the drill. It was one of the many tethers Orochimaru had used on his 'experiments' after all.

Sasuke didn't know how long he'd been laying there when he heard the faintest sounds of someone moving in the room. He didn't open his eyes as he felt the bed dip. He could smell his soap on Naruto's skin as the blond climbed into bed with him. Clearly, the younger ninja had taken a shower before coming to bed. He didn't know why he found it so calming.

"I know you're awake. But we don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to," Naruto murmured.

Sasuke didn't acknowledge Naruto's words, but he felt his body relax slightly at the other's presence. Some of the mental anguish subsiding.

"You're still shivering. Are you cold?"

"No," Sasuke said after a moment, continuing to focus on the subtle scent and feel of Naruto's warmth beside him, ignoring for the moment how glad he was to have him there.

He heard a soft sigh from right behind him, the warm breath ghosting along the back of his neck. "You're so difficult about everything," Naruto breathed out.

Sasuke could hear the smile in Naruto's voice. He felt a tan arm slide around him. He could feel the tension in Naruto's arm, and knew the blond was waiting for a rejection of the affectionate gesture.

When none came, Naruto let a small sigh of relief. They lay together like that for several minutes, the only sound in the room was the soft sound of their breathing. Slowly, Naruto shifted closer, pulling Sasuke's body to him so his back was resting against Naruto's chest. When - again - there was no resistance, Naruto let his arms lightly encircle Sasuke's torso, his face resting at the back of Sasuke's neck. He'd been wanting to hold Sasuke since their destructive spar in his apartment the day before, but he had no idea how to ask. In the end, he'd decided that - if Sasuke didn't like it - he was more than capable of shoving Naruto through the wall for the attempt.

Sasuke lay in the darkness, adjusting to the unfamiliar sensation of someone holding him like this. The embrace was in some ways more intimate than sex... it spoke of trust and caring that went beyond simple physical gratification. It was overwhelming and relaxing at the same time, but Sasuke felt some of the tension easing from his body at the solid warmth against his back. Despite feeling earlier that it would be impossible for him to sleep, it wasn't long before Sasuke's breathing evened out and he drifted off.

Naruto stayed awake for almost an hour, soaking in the feel of simply being with Sasuke... knowing how difficult it was for this man to allow anyone to be close to him like this. Finally he, too, closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

_to be continued..._

So this chapter and the next are sort of the emotional core of where I was trying to go with this fic... what I thought would need to happen to actually get Sasuke to face his past and have a real conversation with Naruto about their future. It is also the hardest for me to write, due to personal reasons. So I appreciate your patience and encouragement. As a warning, next lemon will be SasuNaru. It might happen in the next chapter, but it also might not... depending on how long it takes me to finish out the two scenes that need to come first before that can happen. You have all been amazingly supportive of me writing this part, and I am very grateful! *hugs you all* Some of you have shared stories with me about your own experiences with this, and all I can say is that you have my complete support and respect.


	17. Depletion

**Warning:** Still some withdrawal, but not quite as bad. Sasuke and Naruto continue to try to figure things out. Especially Sasuke.

**Author's note:** Thank you so much for keeping me motivated on this fic with all your reviews! I can't even tell you how much it means to me. Despite this fic being hard for me emotionally, I have been inspired to update it more frequently than any of my other fics because of all your support. I was so touched by the stories that some of you shared, or even the little smilies and 'update!' comments (I don't know why so many authors hate that... I am happy for any evidence that people like my writing LOL). So... hugs to you all!

**-xXx-**

Sasuke woke well before dawn, drenched in sweat. The thin, white cotton of his shirt clung to his body, making him feel chilled and uncomfortable. It had already been dark when he had gone to bed, and he hadn't bothered to pull the drapes closed. It wasn't like anyone was likely to be walking through the deserted Uchiha district anyway, regardless of time of day. His privacy was relatively assured.

He looked over to where the moonlight left patterns of dappled illumination over his bed, where Naruto's arm was still stretched across him. The solid warmth of the blond's touch seemed to reduce the shivers that had wracked his body earlier. Sasuke looked at the tan skin of the toned arm, the fine blond hairs that covered it. What was it about Naruto that was so different?

Of all the people that had tried to get close to him, Naruto was the only one who actually managed it on any level… physical or emotional. Sasuke had always thought - the few times he'd allowed himself to think about it at all - that it was because Naruto didn't really want anything from him except his friendship. Naruto didn't have parents who would be pushing him to attach himself to 'someone of status', and Naruto himself had clearly never cared about that as he thumbed his nose regularly at whoever the sitting Hokage happened to be.

It was true that Naruto wanted to become stronger by training with Sasuke, but that was acceptable, because Sasuke felt the same way. He had never considered that Naruto would desire him the way that Karin, Orochimaru, and Sakura did.

The realization that Naruto _did_ desire him that way should have felt like a betrayal of some sort. But it didn't. It had felt… obvious. Natural. Sasuke couldn't explain why he felt that way, except that one of the main differences between Naruto's attraction to him and the others' was that Naruto never pushed his desires on him. He didn't bat his eyes or ask him out endlessly. He didn't try to corner him or force anything on him. He had waited for Sasuke to respond, for Sasuke to have some interest before anything had happened. If anything, Sasuke was the one who had escalated things between them, really. He wasn't sure if it was because the feelings Naruto had were new, or if the blond was just more patient than the fangirls or Orochimaru had been.

The thought that it could be that Naruto felt something different for Sasuke than the other did skirted through Sasuke's mind, but he closed it off immediately.

Sasuke shifted, the muscle cramps making it impossible to lay still. He carefully slid Naruto's arm off him so he could stand, not surprised when Naruto opened his eyes to observe him despite trying not to wake him. He was a ninja, after all.

"You alright?" Naruto's voice was husky with sleep, and Sasuke felt a heat stir low in his belly at the sound of it. Unfortunately, it was followed by a wave of nausea.

"The anti-nausea medicine has worn off," Sasuke turned towards the kitchen to get some more, already feeling his stomach turning. Naruto followed him on silent feet, taking the spoon from Sasuke's shaking hands in order to pour the correct amount of medicine.

"You should sleep," Sasuke stated after swallowing the bitter liquid and putting the dirty spoon in the sink. "You have to go to Tsunade's in the morning for your check-up."

Naruto shrugged, his eyes running over Sasuke, taking in the pale skin and damp shirt. "I'll be fine. I've gone much longer without sleep before."

Sasuke was silent, leaning against the kitchen wall with his eyes closed as he willed the medicine to stay in his stomach.

"You want to go to the bathroom just in case?" Naruto asked calmly, as though he dealt with drug addicts every day.

Sasuke opened his eyes to glare at Naruto, clearly indicating he would obviously do so if he needed to.

"Sorry," Naruto scratched his head sheepishly. "I'm just… I don't know what to do, really. I've never…" he trailed off, not really wanting to complete that sentence. He'd never cared for someone before. He'd never been cared for. Both admissions were painful. "I don't get sick much."

Sasuke's gaze didn't shift from him. They both knew that wasn't what Naruto had been going to say. But it was a statement that was easier for them to both deal with at the current moment.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be fine," Sasuke's voice was devoid of all emotion.

Naruto almost took him at his word. Almost. But he remembered in Tsunade's note that the mental part of addiction was even worse than the physical part. Given how hellish the physical part appeared to be, Naruto decided he would at least try to distract Sasuke to help him deal with the mental part.

"So… What do you think Tsunade's going to do to try to reverse this thing in my hand?"

Sasuke's eyes flickered for a moment, then he closed them. "Hn. I don't know. From what I read, there are a few different things that could work. Depending on the specifics of how the seal was built out."

Naruto noticed the way Sasuke's shirt was clinging to him, and the way his hands still shook slightly. He walked over to the living room and sat down on one of the futons, hoping Sasuke would follow him. "Yeah? Like what?"

Sasuke opened his eyes, then levered himself away from the wall, walking over to the living room. Even when sick, Sasuke still managed to move with a lethal grace.

"Dobe," Sasuke said, sitting down on the other side of the futon. "You wouldn't understand any of it. You didn't read any of the books."

"Humor me. Unless you have something else to do right now in the middle of the night."

Sasuke's look told Naruto he knew exactly what the blond was trying to do, but he simply let his head fall back against the futon as he started to speak. He went through different ways that the seal could have affected his hand, and different types of jutsus or drugs that he'd heard about or seen that could counteract effects like that. Naruto didn't focus on the words so much as on the sound of Sasuke's voice. It was rare that the boy said more than a few words together.

His voice was lower than Naruto remembered it as a child. But still, it was instantly recognizable as Sasuke. It had a rich, velvety quality about it that had always drawn him. He wondered if it was because Sasuke rarely used it that gave his voice that tone, or if it was just good genes, like his looks and reflexes. The thought crossed Naruto's mind that - even if he met his friend again when they were ninety, and Sasuke's voice was rough with age - Naruto would still know it anywhere.

He was happy just listening to his voice. It didn't really matter what Sasuke said. As long as it wasn't a death threat. Or notification that he was leaving the village. Anything else was fine.

* * *

Sasuke looked over at the future hokage sleeping next to him on the futon. Naruto's head had lolled to the side, his pink lips parted softly. His tan face seemed oddly peaceful and content. Sasuke looked over at the clock, realizing that in just an hour or two, Naruto would have to get up and go to his appointment with Tsunade.

He frowned slightly at the thought of not being able to go with him. But there was no choice. He looked like hell. Even the biggest idiot would be able to tell something was wrong with him: his sweaty skin, shaky hands, and sunken eyes.

He felt… uncomfortable letting Naruto out of his sight. Which was odd, since the blond was much more capable of taking care of himself now than he was when Sasuke had left him years ago.

He looked over again at Naruto's sleeping form. The sight was… somehow comforting. Sasuke felt slightly disoriented at the thought. So many errant, irrational thoughts and feelings and he didn't know how to handle them. Or stop them.

And memories. Painful and unwanted, but some now desperately needed.

_He'd had a fever, and Itachi had come and read to him on his bed to help him get his mind off being stuck inside. Their father had scolded Itachi, saying he should be focusing on his own training rather than fussing over his little brother. But Itachi had respectfully said that he would make up the extra training later, and continued to read._

_Sasuke had felt special, being important to a person like Itachi. Everyone knew how amazing his older brother was. And Sasuke was the only one that Itachi really seemed to be willing to drop everything for._

Sasuke swallowed. The memory painfully bittersweet now, rather than completely debilitating like it once was. He forced himself to breathe.

His gaze drifted over the sleeping form beside him. For just a moment, he felt the urge to reach out and touch his former adversary… his only friend. But it was sure to wake the blond. So instead, Sasuke went over to one of the boxes still unpacked in the room and pulled out a book and began to read. Naruto was right. It was better if he distracted himself.

He considered going back to his bedroom to read more comfortably in his bed, but decided to remain on the futon where Naruto was sleeping. He didn't want to think about why he felt better staying in this room.

He had been reading for about half an hour when the blond shifted, his head sliding down and resting on the seat of the futon, brushing against Sasuke's thigh.

"Tch, Usuratonkachi."

Sasuke ignored the way his pale fingers seemed to gravitate to the blond locks as though they had a mind of their own. He shifted his book to his other hand and continued to read, letting his fingers rest lightly. He didn't think about how soft Naruto's hair was, or why he felt compelled to touch.

Focused on his book, he didn't notice the blue eyes open, surprise turning to contentment before they slowly drifted closed again.

* * *

Naruto frowned as Sasuke glared at him.

"You're going to be late. Stop being stupid," Sasuke sat in his kitchen chair, watching Naruto toyed with the spoon in his empty bowl. They'd finished breakfast, but now Naruto was stalling.

Naruto's frown turned into a slight growl. "Asshole. I just don't like leaving you alone when you're this sick."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Right, because neither of us ever had to be alone when we were sick. Besides, isn't that what he's for?" he nodded to where one of Naruto's clones was standing in the kitchen, watching them argue.

Naruto sighed. He knew he was being stupid. It wasn't like the village was going to be invaded or anything. And if Sasuke were really going to go back to taking the drugs, a babysitter wouldn't matter. Still… he didn't want to go. "I know, I just…"

Sasuke's eyes twitched in annoyance, and the Rinnegan swirled in his right eye. "Do I need to start practicing the Shinra Tensei."

Naruto briefly recalled Pein's use of the 'Almighty Push' technique as he envisioned himself hurled through the front door.

"Showoff," Naruto grumbled, eyeing Sasuke's rinnegan eye with wariness. He was hoping Sasuke was joking. Or at least didn't want to destroy his own house.

Sasuke smirked. "Says the guy who's about to teleport into the Hokage's office."

Naruto got to his feet and grinned, flipping Sasuke the finger before doing exactly that.

* * *

Tsunade finished her examination of Naruto's arm in just a few minutes. "I see no change. Everything appears stable. How have you been feeling?"

Naruto shrugged. "I guess more tired than usual, but otherwise fine."

Tsunade nodded. "That's understandable. Your body is constantly undoing the action of the seal, meaning you never really get to rest. You've been expending pretty high levels of chakra basically continuously since you triggered it."

Naruto sighed. He already knew this, and it was getting frustrating that he couldn't do anything to change that status.

"How are other things?" Tsunade asked carefully, not wanting to say anything more specific.

The blond grimaced. "Tough. It's really… hard watching."

Tsunade's eyes softened at the anguish and worry that she could read in the piercing blue eyes. Guilt snaked through her as she remembered a similar look on Shizune's face many years ago when she was at her lowest point.

"It will get better," she said softly. "He's strong."

Naruto looked away, but nodded. "Is there anything else? If not I'd like to get back to him."

"Actually, Sai and Shizune found something that they wanted to try. It would be better if we had Sasuke here, but it should be relatively safe."

Naruto hesitated, but agreed. If he delayed this, it would raise concerns over why, and the last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to what was happening with Sasuke right now.

"Alright. Let's do it," Naruto stated. Tsunade nodded and led him to one of the rooms next to the library where Sai and Shizune had evidently set up shop for their research. There were books and scroll scattered about the room across the desks, and a medical table where Tsunade indicated Naruto should sit.

He smiled and Sai and Shizune, hoping neither would ask about Sasuke's absence. He was to be disappointed.

"I thought we were only going to do this if Kakashi or the Uchiha could be here," Sai said with a frown. Naruto fought to control the glance he wanted to shoot to Tsunade. Sai had grown better at reading such gestures.

"I have Sasuke working on something else," Tsunade said brusquely, clearly closing the topic of conversation.

Sai looked at her expressionlessly for a moment. "But he is not an active Konoha ninja. Why is he working on something for the Hokage?"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. She understood that Sai had good reason to mistrust Sasuke. He had met him after he'd joined Orochimaru, and he seen only the hole that Sasuke had left in Team 7, rather than the good that he had brought when he was here. Still, she wouldn't have some kid questioning her orders, Anbu or not. It was bad enough that Naruto did it.

"The orders that I give do not concern you, Sai. We will focus on the current task. Kakashi has been delayed, and Sasuke is unavailable for at least another day or two. Given the level of chakra that Naruto's body is needing to expend every day to just maintain the balance, we can't afford to wait. At the first sign of anything unexpected happening, we will stop."

Her tone brooked no debate and Sai simply bowed in assent, though his eyes still held their skeptical expression.

Shizune stepped forward, laying her hands over Naruto's damaged arm while Sai drew two seals over the tan skin. He glanced over at Tsunade, clearly waiting for her signal to activate the seals.

"Naruto, if you feel lightheaded at all, or any numbness in your arm as this progresses, tell us right away and we'll stop the procedure."

Naruto nodded, and Sai activated the two seals simultaneously while Shizune let her chakra flow into the damaged flesh. At first he didn't really feel anything except a slow building of heat. But then suddenly, heat seared up his arm through his shoulder, nearly reaching his chest before he jerked back.

" _Fuck!_ " he could feel his chakra rapidly draining, like water through a sieve.

"Stop the procedure! If his chakra drains any further the seal will -" Tsunade was shouting something else but Naruto's vision blurred and everything went black.

* * *

Sasuke sat at the kitchen table, assessing his physical condition. The nausea still hadn't returned from when he took the medicine during the night, but it would be wearing off shortly. His body was fatigued from the combination of muscle cramps, lack of sleep, and lack of food. His physical weakness and inability to focus was also affecting his chakra levels, though that was in essence irrelevant since he wasn't allowed to use his chakra anyway unless he was under direct attack.

Which Naruto's clone would ensure didn't happen. Not that the clone would need to… many of the villagers might hate him, but they were too cowardly to actually do anything about it. Sasuke sneered slightly at the thought. They seemed to be only comfortable picking on small, defenseless children. His mind wandered again to Naruto's words, about good people being in the village as well as bad.

He could agree in principle that not everyone was bad. But it didn't change the fact that not one of the supposedly 'good' citizens of Konoha had stepped in on Naruto's behalf even a single time as far as Sasuke knew. Including its ninja and Hokage at the time. They'd let the boy live alone, shunned and abused, and never blinked an eye. Until he had become strong enough to be useful. Then they had gladly hurled Naruto in the path of whatever enemy they needed him to defeat on their behalf.

So much for loyalty to their supposed hero, the Fourth.

He turned Tsunade's unspoken offer over in his mind. He knew from experience that the other villages weren't much better. Could he serve this village? If it meant hunting down Danzo's supporters, would it be worth giving his allegiance to Konoha again? He had never lied about his loyalty or lack thereof in the past. He wouldn't pretend to now. If Tsunade asked him if he would serve the village, what could he say?

If he were brutally honest, he'd probably still derive more satisfaction from seeing Konoha burn to the ground than he would as an Anbu captain doing missions to make money for the village that had only ever viewed him as a weapon or a threat.

But.

There was _one_ thing in the village that he didn't want destroyed. Just one. Sasuke's hands tensed on the table. He didn't know what he felt about that. He didn't want to address that fully, or probe how much he was willing to shape his future choices around that one person.

"That's a very serious expression you have going on there," the clone said, pulling out a chair and sitting across from Sasuke.

Sasuke just arched a brow. If he was going to talk to Naruto about any of this, he'd talk to him directly, not through a stupid clone.

As if reading his thoughts, the clone rolled his eyes. "Oh, I forgot. Mr. Perfect is too good to confide in a mere clone."

Sasuke snorted slightly at the nickname, feeling about as far from perfect as he could get covered in a film of sweat and weak from his own mistakes… thinking about burning down the village from his youth.

The clone grinned, clearly not offended as it took the plates from the table. It opened its mouth to say something, when suddenly the blue eyes flared wide in alarm. "Oh, _shit!_ "

With that, the clone disappeared with a pop, the dishes smashing to the floor.

Sasuke was frozen for a moment, eyes fixed on where the clone had just been. The fact that the clone sensed its dispellment coming meant there must have been a major chakra fluctuation in Naruto. Which could indicate that something had happened to Naruto's seal, since Sasuke hadn't sense any surge in chakra that would indicate some sort of battle. Even being across town from the Hokage tower, if Naruto had pulled down so much chakra that he couldn't keep a single clone going, Sasuke would have felt it immediately.

His hands broke out in a sweat as his mind raced through the possibilities of what could have caused this, and how far Naruto's chakra would have had to have been depleted for the clone to disappear like that. He stood up, his hands still flat on the table as he forced himself to breathe and consider his options.

He knew Naruto wasn't dead. Somehow… he would know if that had happened. He'd always believed he would feel it somehow if that last cord were snipped. But something was very wrong.

He couldn't just march down to the Hokage's office and demand to see Naruto. He was unlikely to be let into the building in the first place. Not to mention that he was in no condition to actually help if they needed him for anything.

A thought flitted across his mind, seductive in its simplicity. If Naruto needed him, there was a simple solution to his current weakness. He could be better in less than fifteen minutes if he… just took out the bottle behind his headboard. Naruto would be pissed as hell, but it was better than having him die from Danzo's fucking seal.

It would mean having to go through this all over again at some later point, but Sasuke reasoned that he could recover first before he tried again… choose the timing more carefully for when he went through withdrawal next time. Of course, he wouldn't let the drugs control him. But weren't the controlling him now? Keeping him from doing what needed to be done? He would be the one in control. Not the drugs. He would control when he took them and when he didn't.

He ignored the tiny twist of anticipation at the thought of the pleasure the drug would bring. That wasn't why he was taking it.

It wasn't.

He walked quickly to the bedroom, ignoring the way his hands shook in anticipation, his tongue smoothing over his dry, chapped lower lip as he reached behind the headboard.

And froze.

It wasn't there. Why wasn't it there? Naruto hadn't searched the bedroom when they'd come together. Sasuke had surreptitiously kept an eye on him since they'd come to his place. It had to be there.

He jerked the bed forward, pulling it away from the wall so he could search behind. Maybe it had fallen, though it seemed unlikely. He dropped to his knees searching the floor behind and under the bed.

It wasn't there.

Anger surged through him. He shoved the bed into the wall with all his strength, hearing the frame crack. Where the fuck was it? He went to the kitchen, dumping the trash out on the floor to see if Naruto had found it and thrown it away.

Nothing. Not even shards from the bottle.

" _Fuck_!" He kicked the trashcan across the room. No one besides Naruto had been in his house. Somehow, Naruto had found it and done something with it. _How fucking dare he?_ Rage flooded his mind as he went back to the bedroom and tore it apart, searching in every drawer, and every corner for some evidence of the broken bottle or _something_ that would indicate what Naruto had done with it.

He went through every room in the house, leaving a trail of wreckage in his wake. At some level he knew the search was fruitless, that if it hadn't been in its original spot clearly Naruto had gotten rid of it and searching the rest of the house wouldn't yield anything. But he needed to vent his frustration and anger and ripping his house apart was providing exactly that.

He stood panting in his living room, knuckles bleeding, sweating, and feeling light-headed from lack of food and sleep on top of his physical exertion. Even though he knew why Naruto had done it, the rational part of his mind fully agreeing with the blond's actions, he felt an almost uncontrollable anger at his friend. It hadn't been Naruto's decision to make.

Trying to get ahold of himself, he went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like he'd just come back from the training fields, covered with dust and sweat, his hair disheveled, hands bloody.

He knew he could buy more if he went back to the shop. He was just considering how to manage to do that when he felt a chakra signature approaching his home. It wasn't Naruto. And no one else was welcome.

Especially not this person.

Sasuke could feel his anger surging back up as he heard the sound of someone knocking on his door. The only thing that kept him from blasting the door off the hinges and taking out his unwanted visitor was that he realized they likely came bearing news about Naruto. He needed to be in control and find out what had happened and where Naruto was. He quickly grabbed his katana, hoping to push the illusion that he had been training. It would explain his physical weakness under cursory perusal.

He pushed his anger down and went to open the door. Of course they had to send _Sai._

* * *

Naruto vaguely became aware of voices. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt like they weighed a hundred pounds each. He couldn't even close his hand into a fist. His body was nearly completely drained of chakra. He was a little bit surprised he was even alive.

"What happened? How could it have accelerated the activity of the seal like that?"

_Tsunade._

"Possibly the seals should not have been applied simultaneously."

_Sai._

Naruto frowned. Where was Sasuke? His eyes flared open as it all came back with him. His clone would have disappeared. Sasuke would know something was wrong. Would he come? Would the guards arrest him if he tried to get in? Would someone see him and recognize his condition? Panic flooded through him. He had to get back to Sasuke. Immediately. He had no idea how long he'd been out, but it didn't matter.

"Baa-chan," he managed to croak out.

Tsunade was by his side in an instant. "Gaki. Lay still. You're stable. The experiment didn't quite go as expected."

Naruto gave a tired grin. "Yeah, guess not." He licked his dry lips, trying to see if he had the strength to stand. He didn't manage more than to tense his stomach muscles, but his body didn't move at all from its prone position. "Sasuke." He glanced over to where Shizune and Sai were watching them with concern.

Tsunade seemed to realize the difficulty. There was no reasonable excuse for her to send a message to Sasuke informing him of Naruto's condition. Not to mention that the messenger would see Sasuke, and might connect dots that were better left alone. She obviously couldn't deliver it herself in the middle of the day when she is clearly needing to tend to Naruto without drawing suspicion…

The image of Sasuke's expression when he'd watched Naruto as they left her office the night they'd first learned about Danzo's seal flashed through her mind. And she made her decision.

"Sai. I need you to take Naruto to Sasuke's house immediately."

Sai's usually expressionless eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in anger. "What?! Naruto is extremely weakened right now. Sasuke has tried to kill him several times in the past. It makes no sense to let him anywhere near Naruto. Especially not unsupervised on the outskirts of town when Naruto would not be able to subdue him."

Naruto tried not to snicker at the image of him 'subduing' Sasuke… despite the situation.

Tsunade put on her most intimidating expression as she faced the young Anbu. Sai was making good points, but he was missing some crucial pieces of information. He hadn't seen what she'd seen in Sasuke's face. "We can't let Naruto be seen in this condition. It would draw too much unwanted attention. Sasuke's place is away from everyone else. No one goes there. Naruto can recover in private there. Plus, we need a sharingan holder to monitor Naruto's condition while we continue our research and find out what went wrong. Kakashi won't be back until tomorrow at the earliest. Sasuke is our only option until then." Mentally, she made herself a note to send Kakashi a message to delay his return.

Sai straightened. He had never disobeyed an order, no matter how distasteful he might find them. Except once. This would make a second time. Both for the same person. "No."

Tsunade's eyebrows raised, her temper flashing.

"Sai. Please," Naruto said from the examination table. "Take me to Sasuke. It's ok. I promise."

Sai visibly struggled with the request, remembering Naruto making a similar claim long ago. Before Sasuke tried to stab him through the back with his katana while Naruto just stood there and _let_ him...

"Naruto. You can't trust him. I'm not saying he'll hurt you, but you can't say that he won't," Sai's voice was calm, but unyielding.

Naruto gave a crooked grin. "But I do. Don't make me try to walk on my own."

Sai looked at his Hokage. Her honey-colored eyes were looking softly at Naruto. He wondered what the look meant. No one had ever looked at him in that way. He wondered if his face looked the same when he thought about Naruto, and keeping him safe.

"If he hurts you, I will kill him," Sai said flatly, looking first at Naruto, then at Tsunade.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Tsunade smiled and nodded in full agreement. "But only if there is anything left after I'm done with him," she said.

Sai thought about this for a moment. "I accept those terms." He turned, pulling out a scroll and released a large bird out the window. No one could see Naruto in this condition, or it would raise suspicion. They'd have to bypass the town entirely. He slid his arm under the blond's shoulders, hoisting him up before heading off across town to the Uchiha land.

Naruto's chakra signature was basically non-existent in his depleted state. He hoped Sasuke would at least open the door when they got there. As far as he knew, Naruto was the only one the Uchiha had ever let in.

* * *

_to be continued..._

So next chapter will have some interaction between Sasuke and Sai. And also a major decision reached by Sasuke. I still sort of hate the village, the more I think about it. Pretty sure Sasuke does, too. Except for that one thing. ;-)


	18. Sasuke's Decision

**Author's note:** THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful reviews. I can't even tell you how happy they made me. I am super excited about this chapter, so I will shut up now and let you read it. Thank you to Mykko_chan for reading this over!

**-xXx-**

Sasuke opened the door at the incessant pounding. His eyes widened as he saw Sai supporting a half-conscious, chakra-drained Naruto. The blond's chakra levels were so low Sasuke hadn't even been able to sense his friend's approach.

"Hey, Teme. Sorry if I interrupted your beauty sleep," Naruto tried to joke but his weak voice made it fall flat as he tried to pull away from Sai's supporting hold and stand on his own.

All of the anger Sasuke felt vanished in an instant and was replaced with almost panic as he stepped forward, sliding his hand under Naruto's arm before glaring at Sai.

"What happened?" Sasuke asked tersely. His eye swirled red despite his own lack weakness as he examined Naruto, noticing how much darker the tan ninja's damaged arm was compared to how it had been when he'd left that morning. His stomach clenched at the implications of why that would be, and he shoved Sai's hand off the younger nin's waist. "He's nearly completely chakra drained. The seal was stable when he left here. What did you do?"

Sasuke's careening emotions were shifting again towards anger, but directed at a new target.

Sai narrowed his eyes, but otherwise kept his face expressionless. "We didn't have a Sharingan or Byakugan holder to monitor the experiment. Something went wrong and it drained his chakra down to almost zero. We managed to stop it before it killed him, and Tsunade was able to stabilize the action from the seal enough to hold until his chakra returns." Despite the inflectionless, pleasant tone in the man's voice, the word _barely_ was clearly implied. As was the anger directed towards Sasuke.

Sasuke's grip tightened around Naruto's torso. "What was the experiment? What. Did. You. Do?" he bit the words out, annoyed that some ninja he barely knew had been there when he hadn't been.

Sai handed him a note with Tsunade's writing on it as he took in Sasuke's disheveled state. "Hokage-sama asked me to give you this. It details out the experiment. She thought you might have something in your library to help explain what happened. We will be doing further research at the Hokage's library."

Naruto tried to steady himself on his feet, reaching for the door in the hopes of ending this conversation before it escalated into full-out conflict between the two dark-haired nins. He was in no shape to deal with that. "Let's go inside, Sasuke. Sai has work to do. And I need to lay down before I fall over."

Sai's gaze locked with Sasuke's for a moment. Sasuke could feel the anger and dislike emanating from the former Root nin. "Do you have a problem with me?" he asked directly, not caring to beat around the bush.

Sai tilted his head to the side. "I have many. But unfortunately, Naruto is correct. I have been ordered to return immediately after seeing him settled. Hokage-sama has requested you to keep an eye on his condition in case the seal takes over in his weakened condition. She did what she could to temporarily stabilize him before we left, but he needs to be monitored. Due to the unusual nature of his injury, we cannot keep him at the hospital or at the Hokage tower without running the risk of drawing attention. She determined that this…," Sai gestured stiffly toward Sasuke and his house, clearly unhappy with the decision. "… was the safest place for him."

Sai took a step towards Naruto, reaching out a hand to stabilize his friend. Sasuke blocked the former Root nin's arm, tightening his grip on Naruto as he turned the handle on the door, but didn't open it. He narrowed his eyes at Sai. "I will see him settled. Just go find out what the fuck went wrong. I'll send word if I find anything here."

Sai hesitated looking at the rogue nin more closely. At first glance, he had assumed Sasuke had been sparring or training: his knuckles bloody, his body covered with sweat and dirt, looking fatigued. Sai narrowed his eyes slightly, noticing the irregularity of the injuries. They were not consistent with precise training of the kind he was sure the Uchiha employed. They looked more like… injuries sustained in a street brawl. Though if Sasuke had been in an actual fight with someone, the Hokage would have been notified immediately. Sai frowned at the inconsistency.

"I don't take orders from someone who isn't even a registered ninja," Sai stated, his feet shifting subtly into a defensive stance if Sasuke decided to start anything. Naruto's voice cut in.

"Sai. It's fine. All I need to do is sleep. I'll be good by tomorrow, if not sooner. Just go help Shizune find out what happened. You know Danzo and his approach to seals better than anyone else. I need your help," Naruto's voice was calm, and his trust in Sai's abilities clear in his tone. Sai reluctantly nodded. Naruto was right. He could help his friend more back at the hokage tower.

If Tsunade and Naruto decided to trust the Uchiha enough to leave Naruto in his weakened condition, then Sai wouldn't argue.

But. That didn't mean he trusted the Uchiha. Naruto had been wrong about him before.

Sai pulled out a scroll his brush and quickly painted four mice. Immediately, they sprang from the page, and positioned themselves at the door.

"They will be stationed here. If you find anything, or if Naruto's condition worsens, you can give them a message and they will get immediately me." He turned to face Sasuke. "They are able to sense chakra, and will notify me if Naruto is attacked. I will leave Naruto in your… _care_."

The toneless voice took on a distinct tone of skepticism on the last word. Sasuke arched an eyebrow, his eyes full of suppressed anger but he said nothing as the dark-haired nin turned and took off over the rooftops back towards the Hokage tower.

* * *

"Sorry about Sai," Naruto said, frowning after the departing Anbu member. "He… isn't very trusting."

Sasuke's body was rigid with anger. He didn't know why the obvious trust and friendship between Naruto and the Root nin bothered him so much, but it definitely did.

He opened the door to his house, keeping his arm wrapped around Naruto's waist as they walked in. He glanced back at the watchful mice and briefly considered using amaterasu on them. But he grudgingly admitted that having a way to contact the Hokage in case of an emergency was a good idea. Not to mention he didn't think he had enough chakra currently to pull it off, with his body too busy trying to ride out the withdrawal to maintain much in terms of chakra production.

But that was beside the point.

He didn't like Sai. But at least Sai was competent, which was more than Sasuke could say about most ninja he met.

"He has the guts to say it to my face. That's more than most seem to do in this village."

Naruto grimaced, but didn't disagree as they entered the house, shutting the mice out. His eyes widened in shock as he took in the state of the place. No wonder Sasuke hadn't wanted to let Sai inside. "Sasuke… what the fuck?"

Sasuke stopped, annoyed at the outburst from the blond. It was Naruto's fault in the first place. Did the idiot think he wouldn't find out? Sasuke felt his anger shifting back to Naruto. He knew it wasn't normal for him to be this out-of-control with his emotions, that it was just another phase of the withdrawal. But the knowledge did nothing to keep it in check.

"What did you do with it?" Sasuke's voice was harsh and low.

Naruto blinked in confusion. "What?"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the shoulders, shoving him up against the wall in the entryway. "You found it when you sent the clone to get my clothes, didn't you? When I was showering in your apartment. Where did you put it!"

Realization flared across Naruto's eyes, rapidly followed by absolute fury. If Naruto ever found the man who'd sold Sasuke his first hit, he would rip him limb from limb. "What?! You trashed your place looking for the fucking _drugs_? Are you kidding me Sasuke!"

The anger pumping through him gave Naruto enough energy to shove against Sasuke's chest, breaking the older nin's grip on his shoulders. Naruto stumbled as his legs fought to support him and he braced one hand on the wall behind him to keep upright, glaring at his friend.

Sasuke closed the distance immediately, his fist twisting in Naruto's shirt as the pale forearm slammed across his chest, pinning the blond hard against the wall. "Your clone disappeared and I had no idea what was happening! I was in no shape to go and help you without it. It wasn't your business to get rid of it!"

Naruto didn't have the strength to fight back, but he refused to break his gaze. "I don't fucking _care_ if it was my _business_ or not, you asshole! I flushed it down the toilet. There's no point looking for it."

He had known there was a risk that Sasuke would relapse. Tsunade had warned him. But he didn't think it would be so soon. His stomach clenched in panic. He wasn't qualified to help someone detox. But there wasn't anyone else that the Uchiha would allow in.

"Goddammit!" Sasuke punched the wall right next to Naruto's head with his free hand, leaving a gaping hole in the surface.

Naruto glared at him steadily but didn't flinch. Sasuke could have punched him. Naruto was in no condition to dodge. But he hadn't. Naruto clung to that fact.

"What if something had gone wrong and you had needed my help! What - was I supposed to just wait another day or two until I'm _better_ before doing anything?" Sasuke was seething. His grip on Naruto's shirt tightened. He wanted to shake the blond… throw him against the wall. It was taking every ounce of self-control to keep from doing it.

But as angry as he was, he wasn't going to fight Naruto when his friend couldn't fight back.

"I don't want your help when you're fucking _high!"_ Naruto shouted, angry and desperate that Sasuke was already slipping away from him again.

Sasuke sneered at him. "Oh, I see. You're too perfect to take help unless it comes from the noblest of sources."

"Maybe I'd rather have your help for more than five fucking minutes!"

Sasuke blinked, not sure where Naruto was going with that.

"How are you supposed to help me if you end up in jail for showing up _high_ at the Hokage's office? How are you supposed to help me if you get permanently banned from active duty for doing drugs? How are you supposed to help me if half the time your reflexes are so slow that fucking _Udon_ could take you out!"

Sasuke had a vague memory of a useless, snot-nosed kid by that name, and narrowed his eyes.

"Who said I wanted to sign back up to serve this fucking village!" Sasuke shouted, slamming his forearm harder against Naruto's chest, knocking him back against the wall.

"Oh, that's right. Because you only work for _noble fucking causes_ like the Akatsuki taking over the world or Orochimaru trying to live forever! Get off your high horse, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted back.

"Me?! I'm not the one who goes around yelling about being everyone's _hero_ and _saving the day_ like some idiot! At least I go into things with my eyes open!" Sasuke put his fist through the wall on the other side of Naruto's head, violently wishing there were more things to break in his house, but he'd already broken most of them.

"Oh, really? Is that what you call letting everyone manipulate you doing what they want is called?! Because from where I sit, you've been a fucking puppet since you were about six!"

Sasuke knew he was completely out of control. He'd seen it happen to others in Orochimaru's lab, but he wasn't able to do anything about it. He lifted Naruto by his shirt and threw him into the wall on the other side of the hallway, only able to pull back at the last instant to not actually break his friend with the force of it.

"What do you know! Who the fuck do you think you are? You always claim how much you know me, but then you say shit like this! So pathetically desperate to find any way to show you're better."

Naruto hit the wall and slid down to a crouch, leaning heavily into the supporting structure. He couldn't believe he wasn't injured.

"That's bullshit, Sasuke! Even Itachi said you were a blank slate and easily influenced. Stop trying to always find someone else to blame and deal with your own shit!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Naruto wanted to call them back. He'd seen the fury whipping in Sasuke's black eyes and had known he'd pushed his friend too far. But still, Sasuke hadn't hurt him. He realized that Sasuke wouldn't be able to stop on his own. Naruto needed to try to de-escalate things. Which was not his strength. He drew a breath.

"Sasuke… just… you can't keep on this path. Please," Naruto forced his voice to calm down. He couldn't lose Sasuke. He had to find some way to reach him. But it had to be rooted in the truth. Hiding from their problems wouldn't solve anything in the long run.

The Uchiha stood there for a frozen moment, feeling like a bucket of ice water had just been thrown in his face. All his anger about the drugs seemed to evaporate, replaced with the twisting guilt and anguish and love and pride that thinking about Itachi always evoked in him.

"When… when did Itachi say that?" Sasuke's voice sounded hollow, when just a moment ago he had been shouting. He simply stood there, looking down at Naruto, his entire body rigid.

Naruto swallowed. He had no idea how to handle this. So he decided to just go with the truth.

"He was… worried about you. He wanted to know -"

" _When._ "

Naruto blew out a breath. "Before you joined Akatsuki. After you killed Orochimaru."

"I didn't join Akatsuki," Sasuke frowned slightly at the inaccuracy.

"Yeah, right," Naruto growled, and slowly dragged himself to his feet and leaned heavily against the wall. Sasuke's eyes followed his labored movements. There was a brief flash of possibly guilt in the dark eyes before they resumed their expressionless mask. "You just did their bidding."

Sasuke hesitated, then forced out. "We had a mutual enemy."

Naruto looked away and said nothing.

"What else… did he say?" Sasuke asked, his voice raw.

Naruto looked at his friend, able to read the turmoil beneath those words. "It was the same conversation I told you about before, where he asked me what I'd choose, if it came to stopping you or saving the village. We talked about that a little."

"What else?"

Naruto grimaced. "Your brother's not exactly chatty. That was pretty much all he said. Except that he thought… I was a good friend for you," Naruto smiled painfully. "And I… I yelled at him for not being a good brother," Naruto confessed, feeling the guilt surge over him again.

Naruto expected to see anger in his friend's eyes for saying something like that to Itachi. But all he saw was hollow grief.

"Yeah, well, at least you didn't kill him," Sasuke's voice was thin and empty. Somehow, it made him feel slightly better that Naruto carried guilt, too. He wasn't the only one who'd been fooled by his brother while trying to do the right thing.

They both struggled with their own thoughts in silence. Finally, Sasuke broke it, remembering that Itachi had told Sasuke when they were battling Kabuto that he'd made a promise to Naruto.

"You said… the other time… that if you hadn't talked to Itachi, we would have lost the war. What did you mean?"

Naruto tried to gauge his friend's reaction. Sasuke's eyes met his, the need to know clear in the black depths.

"Because he gave me Shisui's eye."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"In some crow that he made me swallow," Naruto grimaced and tried to chuckle at the memory, but it fell flat. "I guess I deserved to have to eat crow. He was probably amused by the irony of that. I didn't know what had happened until I met his Edo Tensei after the war started. The fucking huge crow came out of my mouth when Kabuto had him activate his Mangekyo Sharingan. And… it broke Kabuto's control over him. He told me he'd programmed the eye so that if you ever came after him with his eyes, his own mangekyo sharingan would trigger Shisui's eye and it would send a command to protect the village. It was the one thing that he knew could keep you from destroying Konoha, if you ever actually…"

Naruto trailed off, not able to say the words.

Sasuke smiled horribly. "If I ever sunk so low as to actually kill my own brother and take his eyes." He brushed a hand over his eyes, the terrible smile still on his face. "Well, I guess we know how that one turned out."

"Sasuke -" Naruto began, but didn't know what to say. What could he possibly say? The damage was so complete and irreversible.

"I guess at least something good came from the fact that I was untrustworthy." The calm, analytic tone in Sasuke's voice made Naruto ache for him.

"Sasuke...," Naruto said, his voice low. "...I trust you. I knew, in the end, that you wouldn't do it. I told him that."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, completely still, his dark eyes full of anguish and desperation.

"I don't understand you at all," Sasuke said abruptly, his voice rough.

Naruto gave a lopsided smile. "I think that's been clear for a long time, bastard."

Sasuke snorted softly. "How can you say you knew what I would do, when even I wasn't sure in the end which path I'd take? Why would you choose to come here, to my house, knowing you are completely defenseless right now? Even at your strongest, you would have to go all out if I went after you again. In this condition, I wouldn't even need to use chakra. The Anbu wouldn't even sense it was happening until it was over. How can you say you trust me after everything?"

Naruto shrugged, as though he didn't know that this was the most important thing in Sasuke's world right now… the last tie holding him to anything at all. "Sai basically said the same thing. But I know you won't. I know you, Sasuke. You can say whatever you want, but I _know_ you. Even when you don't know yourself."

Sasuke had to look away as his throat closed up. In that moment, he wanted to be the person that Naruto thought he was… to be that friend that he used to be. He didn't know if that person still existed. If they'd ever really existed.

"Idiot." Sasuke's voice was gruff. Neither spoke for a moment.

"Are you going to make me fall on this shitty floor or can you at least get me over to a chair?"

Sasuke shoved a hand through his hair with a short breath that was almost a laugh. He wasn't used to dealing with his emotions at all, and felt completely drained by what had just happened.

But somehow, Naruto's presence stabilized him, even if he'd also been the one to push Sasuke over the edge in the first place.

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment before walking over and sliding his arm around Naruto's waist, supporting him as they walked further into the house. The kitchen table was overturned and two of the chairs were smashed. He took Naruto to the living room, kicking off the debris from one of the futons before gently lowering Naruto to sit on it.

"Wow, when you pitch a fit you really go all out," Naruto joked tiredly, looking slightly amused at the level of devastation. "We already trashed my place. You're supposed to be the clean, prissy one, remember?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched slightly at the blond's words.

"Dobe," Sasuke took in the full extent of the shinobi's weakened condition. It left him feeling unsettled at how easily he could have seriously injuring the blond.

"How close was it?" Sasuke asked after a moment.

Naruto looked at him and raised an eyebrow in question, not sure he understood the question.

"Today. The experiment. How close were you to Danzo's seal finishing its job?"

Naruto shrugged, looking away, slightly uncomfortable.

Sasuke clearly understood that to mean 'pretty fucking close'. He closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to get his spiraling emotions under control.

"Next time they are going to do an experiment, I want to be there. No matter what."

"Ok. As long as you're not high."

Sasuke opened his eyes and looked directly at Naruto. "I wouldn't have been able to do it," Sasuke's words were heavy in the room.

Naruto knew instinctively he was not talking about anything to do with the experiment. "Do what?"

Sasuke didn't break eye contact. "Kill you."

Naruto felt a strange lightheadedness steal over him at the words.

"Which time?" Naruto tried not to read too much into the words he had told himself over and over in the past. When Sasuke had looked at him so coldly and told him he was nothing, Naruto had wondered if he'd lost him forever.

"Any of them." Sasuke's voice was low, as if he wasn't sure himself that he should say it.

Naruto slowly lifted his hand and brought it to Sasuke's face, tracing his thumb over the smooth, perfect ridge of Sasuke's cheek bone before sliding his fingers into Sasuke's hair. Sasuke leaned forward, his own hand threading into Naruto's hair as he drew their foreheads together.

Naruto mentally cursed his current condition for leaving him so weakened. He wanted so much in that moment. His need to touch Sasuke, to possess him to an extent that almost overwhelmed him. He would never let this man go. It frightened him a bit to realize the extents to which he would go to keep him.

"Please don't buy more, Sasuke," Naruto's voice was raw with anguish. "I don't want to lose you to something like that. Please."

Sasuke finally lifted his head so he could look at Naruto. "Why do you stay? Why you fight for this village?" his voice sounded honestly perplexed.

Naruto was at first surprised by the apparent change in topic, but he slowly realized that they were related. Sasuke had to make a choice.

"I guess… at first because I wanted to belong. I wanted a home. I wanted to be accepted," Naruto bit his lip, not liking how weak it sounded to say that out loud. He was strong now. But at his core… he always felt alone without Sasuke.

Sasuke huffed out an exasperated sigh. "That's not a good enough reason to risk your life for them."

Naruto shrugged, fully expecting the response. "You had a family, Sasuke, even if it wasn't for long. You don't know what it's like to not belong anywhere."

Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance that the implication that he couldn't understand the blond, aware of the irony of the fact that he'd used basically the same argument on Naruto countless times.

"You said you felt that way at first. What about now?" Sasuke asked, ignoring the knowing look that Naruto sent him at what his tone had revealed.

"Now… I guess because I feel like I _have_ a home, and I want to protect it. I know it's not perfect, but I can make a difference here. I can… I can pass on what Jiraiya taught me… what my… my parents wanted."

Sasuke frowned, considering Naruto's words before answering.

"Jiraiya spent as little time as possible in the village, unless it was peeking at the bathhouse," Sasuke stated, earning a wan smile from Naruto. "And your parents sacrificed their life and their child to protect the village, and look how it repaid that sacrifice. What kind of 'home' is that? How does that make it worthy of your protection?"

Naruto swallowed hard at the brutal truth of Sasuke's words. He knew that things hadn't exactly worked out the way his parents had hoped. But things had come full circle in the end. It had taken time, but the village had accepted him. He would be the next Hokage.

"That's not all there is, Sasuke. The village isn't all bad."

"Oh really?" Sasuke's voice turned bitter. "Remind me who it was, then, that offered to take you in when you were a baby and raise you. Or who stopped the wonderful citizens of Konoha from beating you and shunning you when you were five. Or who questioned why the Uchiha clan was slowly relegated to the outskirts of the village. Or who within the most elite leaders of this village objected to using a mere boy to slaughter his entire clan just so they wouldn't have to deal with negotiating better treatment of them. Because I'm pretty sure there was _no one_."

Naruto could feel the building anger rolling off Sasuke.

"That's right, Sasuke," Naruto agreed, his voice tired. "There wasn't. I won't deny the shit that was done. But there were people who helped us. Iruka Sensei defended me against Mizuki when he tricked me into stealing the scroll, even when he had no evidence that I was anything but a complete waste of space as a ninja. He was willing to die for me."

Sasuke's mouth tightened as he remembered that time… how quick people had been to call for Naruto's punishment, their fear and hatred towards the young child visceral and palpable. But Naruto was remembering Iruka's support… the first time anyone had actually told him he mattered at all to them. How that had changed him.

Naruto cleared his throat, seeing Sasuke was clearly not reading the situation the same way. He tried something a bit closer to home for the Uchiha.

"Kakashi spent way more time working with you to help prepare you for your battle with Gaara than he needed to. He didn't have to get involved. Genin die all the time in the exams. No one would have criticized him for it."

A muscle in Sasuke's jaw jumped, and Naruto saw a slight hesitation. "They were our instructors. It's their job to make sure we survive. It doesn't mean anything."

Naruto raised a brow, sensing the slight defensive tone that belied Sasuke's words. "You know that's a lie. But fine. What about Tsunade? She didn't have to save you after you'd been placed in the Tsukuyomi, but she did. When you left, Shikamaru led a mission to try to bring you back. Lee, Kiba, Chouji… they all had to battle the Sound nins for you. They wanted to help you. All of them were seriously hurt going after your stubborn ass."

Sasuke looked away. "I didn't ask for their help. I left by my own choice."

Naruto's eyes flashed with remembered anger. "Yeah. We knew. But we also knew you'd been manipulated into it. And we were worried about what that creepy snake would do to you when he finally got his hands on you. Goddammit, Sasuke! We cared about you!"

Sasuke shifted, uncomfortable with the discussion. He hadn't asked for help. But that didn't mean he was glad that the others had been injured.

"People in the village were nice to me because they respected my clan and my skills. It had nothing to do with friendship. I was a valuable weapon that the village didn't want to lose. That's all it was."

If Naruto had had the strength, he would have thrown Sasuke across the room at the words. As it was, all he could do was glare. "That wasn't all it was, Sasuke." Naruto remembered Shikamaru's words, stating that he really didn't like Sasuke much. "At least for me."

Sasuke could read the anger and hurt in Naruto's eyes… an emotion he was used to seeing there. Used to causing. He didn't want to see it anymore. "Maybe not for you. But for the others, it was."

Naruto didn't know what to say. In truth, some of the others that had gone on the mission really didn't like Sasuke. Though it was his friend's own fault for being such an arrogant prick most of the time. But he didn't think they had gone after him just because he was a weapon. "You didn't make it easy for people to like you, asshole. But they didn't view you as just a weapon. They went after you because you were a part of our team. And you were in danger, even if you didn't think so."

"I knew exactly what the risks were," Sasuke said. "I wasn't naive. I just was willing to accept them. And the girls liked me just fine, no matter how much of a supposed asshole I was."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "That's just because they wanted to get in your pants. You never let any of them get close enough to actually know you or be your friend. But that isn't their fault. You were the one pushing everyone away. You can't blame the village for that."

Naruto felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. He was exhausted, but he didn't think he'd ever get another chance to talk to Sasuke about these things. He just hoped he didn't pass out in the middle of it. He had to convince Sasuke it was worth getting clean for. If Sasuke joined Anbu, then they'd be together. When Naruto became Hokage, Sasuke would be by his side.

Like it was supposed to be.

Sasuke noticed the increasing pallor of Naruto's skin as Naruto leaned his head back, closing his eyes briefly.

Sasuke thought about the state of his bed, the frame shattered into bits in his bedroom. Naruto needed to rest. He couldn't do it very well sitting up. Sasuke stood, adjusting the wooden latch on the futon frame to allow it to lay flat, kicking the debris out of the way as he reclined it.

Naruto sighed as he stretched slightly, feeling much better and less dizzy now that he was resting flat.

"Thanks."

"Hn." Sasuke sat on the futon, looking down at Naruto where he lay.

Naruto studied his friend, wondering what Sasuke was thinking. What he was going to do.

"You can't tell me that the Sound was any better. Every village has a dark side. But that doesn't mean the good parts don't exist, too. You can't just run away from it all and live in the forest forever. Not if you really want change like you said. This is our home, for better or worse. We choose, to make it better or worse."

"This isn't home anymore. Not to me."

Naruto tried not to flinch at the absolute certainty in that statement. He could almost feel Sasuke slipping away from him again, and he felt powerless to stop him. "Then where is home for you?" Naruto asked almost desperately.

Sasuke looked off to the corner of the room. "I feel no affinity for any particular place."

"It isn't about the place, Sasuke. It's about the people."

Sasuke turned to Naruto. "I spent a lot of time making sure I severed all my bonds with people."

Naruto tried to place the emotion in Sasuke's voice but failed. He wanted to ask if Sasuke felt no bond with him. But he was afraid of what his answer would be in that moment. Just because he had admitted he didn't want to kill him… was it enough? Was it anything?

"You didn't sever all your bonds," Naruto stated, daring Sasuke to deny it. Praying he wouldn't.

Their eyes held for several frozen moments. Then finally, "No. I didn't break them all."

Naruto felt his pulse race wildly at the admission. "Then… stay."

There was a tense silence as Naruto nearly held his breath, waiting for Sasuke to say something, to make a choice.

"What ties you to this village? Iruka? Kakashi? Tsunade? Is it really enough? Is it worth all you went through?"

Sasuke's voice sounded slightly desperate, as though he wanted there to be a reason. Something he could accept. Naruto didn't know if he could give him one, but he tried to explain.

"It's not just them. There are a lot of people who matter to me here. Old man Teuchi gave me food when I couldn't afford it… he made me feel welcome. Normal. Yamato Taicho helped me control Kurama's chakra when I was trying to max out my shadow clones to learn my wind element faster."

Sasuke's brows rose at that statement, as he realized what the benefit of that approach would be. Again, something only Naruto could do.

"Jiraiya…" Naruto's throat closed up and he had to clear it before continuing. "Jiraiya didn't have to do shit for me, but he took me on and trained me."

"How is that enough? A handful of people weighed against an entire village."

"There's more. Shikamaru helped me after Jiraiya died. He cared about me. Hinata was willing to die for me when Pein had me pinned to the ground with chakra absorbing rods. Sai went against direct orders from Danzo to kill you, because he knew I needed…"

Sasuke had tensed when Naruto had mentioned Sai, but he stilled at Naruto's pause.

"You needed what?"

Naruto didn't turn away from Sasuke's intense gaze. "I didn't want you to die."

"Tch. You seem pretty confident that he could have killed me." Sasuke ignored the way his stomach warmed at the way Naruto had said he didn't want him to die.

Naruto held back a snicker at the arrogance of the statement. "You should have seen his bingo book," Naruto said. "You would not have been the first S-ranked nin that he took out."

Sasuke glared at him. "But he didn't." Though it was possible that he could have. Sasuke didn't want to admit that out loud. But that was a long time ago. Sasuke was much stronger now. The only nin that could take him out at this point was lying on his futon, chakra drained.

"Because I asked him not to. Because he wanted to see if it were really possible to have a bond survive what had happened to us."

Sasuke didn't reply to that.

The silence began to stretch. He lay down on his back on the futon, next to Naruto and looked up at the ceiling before finally asking.

"Why me?"

"What?" Naruto asked, looking over at his friend.

"Despite all the people you named, you didn't really get close with anyone else after I left. Why fixate so much on me? It's not like I made it easy for you," Sasuke sounded almost angry again.

"No. You didn't make it easy. In fact, you were a complete ass most of the time."

"Then why? I know you don't give a fuck about my family. And your skills are -" Sasuke couldn't quite bring himself to admit again that Naruto had possibly surpassed him. Or at least caught up. Not out loud. "You don't need my help on your training."

Naruto grinned. "Now that's a lie. I'd love to put my Hiraishin no jutsu against your Shinra Tensei. I got at least one clone to teleport already. I bet I could do more. It would be cool to see if you can push them all out of the way or if they can teleport through it."

Sasuke paused for a moment, actually sort of excited about trying that out. He hadn't had much chance to use his rinnegan. There hadn't been much of a reason to.

But maybe… it would be fun to train with Naruto.

However, he wasn't going to let the blond distract him from his question.

"Hn. Maybe. But you're not really answering the question. You didn't chase me all those years to have the opportunity to spar with a rinnegan user."

Naruto shrugged. His feelings for Sasuke were complicated. He didn't really understand the root of them himself, but he wanted to give Sasuke something. Something concrete that wouldn't scare the Uchiha away. "I guess… because we were both alone. Both the same. And…"

Naruto stopped, not sure how to really say this.

"And what?"

"And… at my worst, if I really got out of control… I know you could stop me. Yamato Taicho did his best, but even he couldn't stop me when I had more than five tails."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he realized what Naruto was saying.

"That's why we fit. Even without all the stuff the sage told us. I always felt like… we needed each other. I'm the only one strong enough to stop you. And you're the only one strong enough to stop me. We keep each other in check."

Sasuke hadn't really considered that before. It was probably the real reason that Naruto had been placed with him on Kakashi's team, in retrospect. The two sharingan holders were the best chance at controlling the kyuubi if it had taken over.

"But you don't have to worry about that now. You and Kurama aren't fighting for control anymore."

"No," Naruto smiled slightly, missing his friend and hoping he'd recover soon. "But it wasn't always like that. And I guess the idea that… that you would be able to sense him, to help me if I needed it, sort of took root. And I wanted to do the same for you. We both have darkness in us, Sasuke. And the more powerful we become as shinobi's, the more dangerous it will be. How many powerful people have you met who weren't corrupted eventually?"

Naruto looked over at him, giving a slight smile. He placed his right hand on Sasuke's left hand expecting it to be thrown off. Relieved when it wasn't.

"I'm not asking you to trust the village. I'm asking you to trust _me._ You said you want to change things. Well so do I. I'm not blind to the bad things that happen, Sasuke. I just am willing to try to change them without blowing everything up to do it."

Sasuke looked up, drawing a breath. Did he trust Naruto? He already knew the answer to that. It had never been an issue of trust between them. Naruto was the one person Sasuke knew would never intentionally betray him or use him.

And it was true what Naruto said. Sasuke did want to change the system. It was corrupt and flawed at its core. He wanted to burn it down and watch it crumble.

Working with Naruto would allow him to get revenge on the real power behind the Uchiha massacre. Beyond Danzo, beyond the council.

"Besides. We're stronger together. Fire and wind. You saw it in the battle against Madara and the Juubi," Naruto pushed again. If Sasuke wanted reasons, he would give him ones that he could accept.

Sasuke looked over at Naruto, saw the way the blue eyes focused on him, daring him to deny what he wanted.

"Hn," Sasuke said, neither affirming nor denying what Naruto said. But he'd already decided.

They lay on the futon, their hands touching but not quite clasping.

Naruto knew that it was up to Sasuke now. He'd done everything he could. Despite his efforts, he felt himself slowly losing the battle to stay awake and began to drift into sleep. He slipped his fingers through Sasuke's, not wanting to take the chance that the boy would leave him while he slept. After a slight hesitation, he felt the returning pressure of Sasuke's fingers closing around his. A small smile formed on his lips as consciousness faded.

Sasuke watched as Naruto drifted off to sleep. He'd made his choice. He might not have ties to the village. But he had ties to Naruto.

The first thing he needed to do was get through the withdrawal. He remembered the temptation he'd felt when he'd decided to take more of the drug, and the rage when he'd discovered it was gone.

He needed to break the cycle of addiction, or he would remain weak. Orochimaru had studied addiction and its effects on his prisoners. Sasuke had read about aversion therapy, and seen it work in Orochimaru's lab. It was brutal, but it was the fastest way to break the mental side of the addiction. And Sasuke had an advantage that Orochimaru's experiments didn't: the sharingan.

He could feel the anti-nausea medication wearing off. He wouldn't be taking more. Every muscle cramp. Every chill. Every wave of nausea. He could combine those sensations with a perfect image of the opium he had consumed. The look, the taste, the smell of it. Naruto would likely sleep for at least twelve hours. Sasuke would spend those hours reprogramming his mind. If he put himself in the Tsukuyomi, he could spend days, even weeks correcting his mental pathways in mere minutes in the real world.

The next time Naruto needed him, Sasuke would make damn sure he wasn't too weak to help.

* * *

_to be continued…_

**A/N:** Finally! Sasuke has made his choice and he has found a way to break his cycle of addiction. I really felt like it would NOT be automatic for Sasuke to re-join the village. Even though it was completely glossed over in the manga, he had some very valid reasons to not want to come back. So I wanted to take that head on in this, and come up with something reasonable that would be enough. Naruto is a big part of it but he isn't EVERYTHING. Sasuke also wants to achieve something and change the system. I think he needs both things, as cute as it would be for it to be 'only for Naruto'.

 **AND...** now that Sasuke is getting himself off drugs… things can start to heat back up (I am trying to decide between sage mode sex, sharingan sex, use of chakra wire, sparring, um… so many things I will probably end up posting a bunch of oneshots on y!gal coming out of this fic since I can't squeeze all the different, kinky hot ninja sex ideas I have into this fic without ruining the story).

YES I DID STEAL THE IMAGERY FROM 698 IN THE FUTON SCENE. In my mind, that was the place the manga should have ended on. So I gave that panel a shout-out here.


	19. Active duty

**Summary:** The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

 **Author's note:** So... I love Itachi. And it made me sad that he wasn't really in this, because... well... obviously he's dead. But... hmmm... just read. :-) Thanks as always to Mykko_chan for reading parts of this and encouraging me.

**-xXx-**

Sasuke lay with Naruto for several hours, not wanting to disturb the blond's sleep as the Jinchuuriki's body recovered. He could feel the nausea building up, and knew he'd have to get up soon. Carefully extracting his arm from beneath the sleeping ninja, Sasuke moved with complete silence to the bathroom. He paused in front of the mirror, hesitating only a moment before his eyes swirled red and commas of Itachi's mangekyo sharingan appeared. He looked at himself in the mirror, his brother's eyes looking back at him.

He thought briefly of his past experiences with being placed under the power of Itachi's tsukuyomi. The first two times, it had been destructive, as Itachi had forced the exaggerated, brutal images of his clan's murder, altered to make Itachi out to be the heartless killer that he wasn't. Sasuke had been incapacitated those times, the trauma of the images so damaging to his psyche that in the second case he was in a coma for many weeks. But the third and final time, Itachi had used it not to harm him, but rather to show Sasuke the truth of their parent's death and Itachi's own grief and suffering during the act. While the anguish of Itachi's pain had left Sasuke shaking, he had been otherwise undamaged.

He knew he could do this, control it. It would take much of his remaining strength, but he had enough chakra to see it through. And somehow, looking at his brother's eyes, it felt right that it was through this one last piece of Itachi that he would break the addiction. He smiled slightly, knowing his brother would be pleased as well.

He activated the tsukuyomi.

The bathroom vanished, replaced by a room dark, shrouded from the light. The only remaining tie to his physical reality was the mirror he had stood in front of when he activated the genjutsu. He could feel a familiar presence in the room.

"Foolish little brother," the deep, familiar voice came from behind him, resonant with the arrogance, love, and strength that he remembered as a child. And from their last battle together against Kabuto.

Sasuke looked into the mirror, unsurprised to see the image of his brother standing behind him. Itachi's hair was pulled back in its usual low ponytail. But the Akatsuki robes had been replaced with an Anbu uniform, better reflecting of his elder brother's true loyalties and motives.

"Nii-san," Sasuke's voice was low, thick with emotion, even though this wasn't real.

What was reality, after all? Some essence of Itachi and his memories surely resided in his eyes. Sasuke merely tapped into them, bringing them out in a way that he could interact with them.

Itachi looked at him assessingly, seeing more in this vision than even the real man could have observed in real life. "Let us put an end to this, Sasuke. You have other things to see to."

Sasuke closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of his brother's hand on his back. His body was wracked with a spasm as his muscles convulsed in withdrawal. A perfect image of the drug appeared before him. Sasuke lit it and breathed the heavy smoke into his lungs, holding it there for maximum absorption.

Only this time, instead of bringing instant bliss, it brought only an intense wave of nausea and an agonizing bout of muscle spasms.

Sasuke fell to his knees, his body wracked with pain.

"Again," Itachi stated. There was no sympathy in his brother's voice, but no judgment or anger either. It was the same voice that had urged Sasuke on in his training when they were young. The same voice that had guided him on the one mission he had accompanied his brother on in his youth to kill the boar that was tearing up the crop fields. The calm voice that always made him want to do the impossible. For the brother he had looked up to above all else.

Sasuke obeyed as another silver tray of the black paste appeared. The warmth of his brother's hand on his back the only small comfort he allowed himself. He'd made his decision. And like any Uchiha, he chose the most effective means to ensure the desired result.

* * *

A small black mouse squeezed under the crack of the door to the sole standing building in the Uchiha compound. It picked its way through the rubble until it reached the futon in the middle of what used to be the living room, moving soundlessly. Its feet left no tracks, not even through the fine dust that covered the floor.

It paused, examining the young blond man that was sleeping on a futon laid out peacefully in the middle of the destruction, taking note of the way the boy had been carefully tucked in with a clean blanket. It crept over the sleeping form, its weightless body making no indentation in the fabric of the blanket at all as it paused to assess the blond's breathing and heart beat before continuing on deeper into the home.

It came to where the source of the chakra flare it had detected had originated, and looked for a moment at the dark-haired man standing rigidly, staring into the mirror. It did not miss the number of commas in the red-swirled eye.

Abruptly, the eyes closed and the boy crumpled to the floor, seemingly unconscious.

The mouse move forward, unhurriedly, assessing the vitals of the prone figure.

* * *

Sai looked up, his attention drawn to the scroll he had used to create the sentry mice that he'd left at the Uchiha's house.

"What is it?" Tsunade asked.

Sai stared at the scroll for a moment, where a mouse had reappeared. "It seems as though the Uchiha has placed himself in some sort of genjutsu. He collapsed shortly after. But it seems to be from exhaustion and low chakra rather than a comatose state like what you described after being put in a genjutsu by Itachi."

Tsunade's mind race through the options and possible explanations. "And Naruto?"

Sai frowned slightly, as though confused by something. "The house showed signs of battle, but Naruto was completely unharmed. He was sleeping, tucked into bed and resting comfortably."

Tsunade felt a surge of hope. Could that baka have really done it? Had he convinced the Uchiha to rejoin the village? She'd have to wait and find out. But she was fairly sure she knew what the rogue nin had done when he'd put himself into a Tsukuyomi. From what she knew of the technique, the boy hadn't saved himself any of the suffering, simply compressed it into a much shorter timeframe.

She felt a flash of grudging admiration for the boy.

Whatever she could say about the rashness of his approach, the kid had balls. She'd give him that much.

* * *

Naruto slowly opened his eyes, taking in the light filtering through the living room window. The motes of dust from the decimation of walls and furniture hung in the air, drifting lazily about. There was no sound of anyone moving about the room. Naruto could tell by the cold space next to him that Sasuke was no longer in bed with him, and had been gone for some time.

He slowly flexed his fingers, testing his body to see whether sleep had restored him the way it usually did. The muscles and tendons all performed adequately. He briefly allowed his chakra to flare, feeling his normal levels responding.

Deciding he was well enough to stand on his own, Naruto rolled off the futon and brushed himself off from the dust that had drifted over him while he slept.

A frisson of nerves crept along Naruto's spine as he took in the complete silence in the house. He could feel Sasuke's presence, but there was no sign of motion. The man had not come back to bed with him, and Naruto was pretty sure that the futon was the only piece of furniture that remained intact in Sasuke's home. He hoped that Sasuke hadn't gone out to buy more drugs and returned only to smoke himself into a stupor. His stomach turned over at the thought.

Forcing himself to walk, he carefully moved through the room, avoiding chunks of wall and shattered furniture.

"Sasuke?"

There was no response, and Naruto's unease grew. He made his way down the hall, stopping as soon as he got to the bathroom door.

Sasuke was collapsed on the floor, a single bloody tear track leading away from his right eye.

"Fuck, Sasuke! What did you do?!" There was no response to his question, and Naruto felt panic surge through him as he bent down, laying his head on Sasuke's chest. His panic subsided slightly when he felt and heard the steady rise and fall of Sasuke's chest taking in air, the heartbeat strong and regular in the pale chest.

He sat up, carefully checked Sasuke for further signs of injury, his senses flaring to detect the presence of a possible enemy, though already knowing he wouldn't find any.

Seeing no physical damage, Naruto slid one arm beneath Sasuke's shoulders and the other beneath his knees and carefully lifted his friend from the bathroom floor and carried him over to the futon. The bloody tear made it clear that Sasuke had activated his sharingan. But why?

Naruto carefully laid his friend down on the mattress, hesitating a moment before going over to the kitchen to get a wet cloth.

He wondered if he should get Tsunade, but he was worried that it would draw too much attention. People would notice if he was seen carrying the unconscious Uchiha through the village. He thought about teleporting, but he wasn't sure about possible after-effects of the chakra drain that had happened yesterday. If his chakra fluctuated at the wrong time, both he and Sasuke would be killed in transport.

He looked down at the perfect, pale face, not sure what to do.

"God damnit Sasuke! You're supposed to talk to me before you do something like this. I don't know what to do!"

Naruto took the wet cloth and gently wiped the blood from below Sasuke's eye. The action soothed him more than it likely did his friend. It was strange how, even a month ago, the thought of touching Sasuke's face, of showing this type of care for him would have been impossible. Now it felt completely natural.

A fierce rush of possessiveness surged through Naruto as he gently traced his fingers over the fine arch of Sasuke's cheekbone. No one else could touch Sasuke like this. No one else was allowed. Naruto drew a shuddering breath, trying to make himself focus on the situation.

He had really no abilities in the healing arts… Kurama's chakra healed his own wounds, but that was done with no effort or thought on his part, and he'd never been able to extend it to others. He had no ocular powers to probe beneath the surface and see what the damage was.

His biggest concern was whether Sasuke had somehow gotten trapped into a genjutsu. Thinking quickly, he crossed his legs, holding onto Sasuke's hand as he closed his eyes, stilling his mind. He slowly felt the energy of his surroundings begin to seep into him. After several minutes, he opened his eye, now shadowed with the tell-tale orange coloring that he had entered sage mode.

In this state, he was able to sense the emotional state of others - hatred, hostility, aggression… if Sasuke were in pain or distress, he would be able to tell. He let his enhanced senses range. There was no sign of any mental turmoil from Sasuke. He appeared to be simply unconscious, not trapped in some sort of genjutsu.

Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief.

Deciding that he could afford to wait for Sasuke to regain consciousness, Naruto figured he may as well make use of the benefits of sage mode to get some of the heavier pieces of debris out of Sasuke's home. He carried out the broken dining table and the shattered bed frame and put them in a pile far enough away from the house that Sasuke could burn them if he chose.

Naruto noticed one of Sai's mice watching him, but it made no move to go inside. Naruto didn't spend any time worrying about it. He didn't want to be away from Sasuke for long.

* * *

Sage mode had long since worn off, but at least Sasuke's house was clear of the debris. They'd have to get new furniture, as very few pieces had survived but at least now it didn't look like a war zone.

Naruto looked in on Sasuke, but he appeared to still be sleeping. Deciding that the next thing that desperately needed cleaning was himself, Naruto took a quick shower and changed into some clean clothes.

Walking into the living room to check on Sasuke, he was met with two dark eyes, awake and fully alert, watching him.

* * *

Sasuke awoke slowly, his mind fatigued and still slightly reeling from the endless days of reconditioning that he had put himself through, though in real time, it had been less than twenty-four hours.

But as he let his mind consider using the drug again, the instant revulsion and nausea that accompanied that thought made it worth it. It had worked.

He might still have other issues, but the drug would no longer be a temptation for him.

A motion out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. One of his living room windows had been shattered, either in his fight with Naruto or his frantic search for the drugs. Something black was perched on one of the shards of glass. At first, the figure seemed distorted, but then it moved out from behind a hanging piece of the fractured glass, and Sasuke was met with two sharp, dark eyes observing him.

The crow cocked its head to the side, as though assessing Sasuke's condition. Then it looked behind Sasuke, towards the hallway.

"Sasuke!" Naruto's voice came from behind him, and Sasuke's attention was drawn from the bird as Naruto quickly crossed to where Sasuke was still laying. Though Naruto was clearly trying to conceal his emotions, worry and relief poured out of the electric blue eyes as the raked over Sasuke's face, searching for any sign of his condition.

"Geez, I take a little nap and see what happens? I can't leave your alone for even a few minutes." Naruto's voice shook slightly as he knelt down by his friend.

Sasuke felt a tug of amusement at the sight of the most powerful shinobi in the village kneeling beside him, fretting.

"So… you gonna tell me what you did to yourself while I was sleeping?" Naruto's hand drifted towards Sasuke's cheek as he remembered the blood he'd cleaned from it earlier, but paused before it made contact. "Your eye was bleeding. That happens when you activate the mangekyou sharingan, right?" Naruto's hand dropped back to the bed without touching the Uchiha.

"Hn," Sasuke glanced at Naruto's hand, then levered himself up onto his elbow. "It's been three days. The physical part of the withdrawal is over now. I just made sure that the mental part ended as well."

Naruto hesitated, not sure what that meant. "What did you do?"

Sasuke looked calmly at Naruto. "I simply made sure that my mind connected the correct physical sensations with the substance that produced them."

Naruto blinked at the dark tone of Sasuke's voice, having a feeling that the man had gone far beyond what his simple wording implied.

"Are… are you ok now?"

Sasuke would have glared if he had the strength. "I'm covered in sweat, nearly chakra drained and haven't been able to hold food down for the past fifteen hours. Am I mission fit? No. Am I through the withdrawal? Yes."

Relief washed over Naruto so fast that he didn't even catch something important that Sasuke had said for a moment. Then it hit him.

"Wait. Mission fit? Does that mean…"

Sasuke stood, picking up the blanket and tossing it to the center of the mattress. "I need to eat. And I need to shower. Then we need to go talk to Tsunade about the offer she made me."

Naruto felt almost light-headed at the rush of elation that surged through him at Sasuke's words.

Sasuke was _staying_.

He was rejoining the village.

After so many years, so many failed attempts.

He blinked when he felt two fingers poke against his forehead.

"Dobe… are you broken? You're just standing there looking more like an idiot than usual."

Naruto could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice.

He blinked, hardly even noticing when his hands reached out and fisted into Sasuke's hair, pulling his face to Naruto's. The blond pressed his lips to Sasuke's with enough force to bruise as he forced the surprised nin's mouth open before thrusting his tongue inside. He felt the change in Sasuke's posture the instant the older boy began returning the kiss, their bodies pressed so tightly together that not even a grain of sand could wedge between them.

He groaned when he felt Sasuke's hands latch into his own hair.

He would never let this man go. He didn't want to think about what would have happened if Sasuke had made a different choice. Of the lengths he would have gone to change this boy's mind.

"Sasuke," Naruto's voice was low and raw and shaking.

Sasuke pushed his thigh between Naruto's legs, emitting a low growl of approval at the hardness he found there.

Naruto's hands slid from the dark hair down to latch on Sasuke's hips as he drew their bodies even closer, feeling an almost desperate need to hold onto him, as though he might still slip away.

Sasuke stumbled slightly, causing Naruto's brain to kick in.

This wasn't right. He had to stop. They hadn't talked about what had happened before. Naruto had no idea how much of their earlier actions were just because of the drugs. On top of that, Sasuke had gone nearly a full day without food or water at this point. Not to mention whatever hell he'd put himself through with the mangekyo sharingan. Naruto had already taken advantage of him once, even though he hadn't known it at the time. He wouldn't do it again.

It took every ounce of willpower to step back.

"Naruto -" Sasuke was breathing hard, lust mixing with confusion in his gaze as he tried to follow and close the distance again, but was stopped by a hand on his chest.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said, trying not to look at the redness of Sasuke's lips or the way they were slightly parted from their exertions. "You've been sick for days. And we need to go to Tsunade before she comes looking for us. I have no idea how long we've both been out."

Sasuke frowned, frustration coursing through him. Naruto had been pulling back ever since he'd found out about the drugs. He'd made it through the withdrawal. So why was Naruto still pulling away? A thought flickered through Sasuke's mind about how Naruto kept insisting that they were 'friends'. Was he changing his mind on what he wanted? What _did_ Naruto want? Aside from Sasuke to rejoin the village.

A wave of dizziness from low blood sugar hit him. If he had the strength, he would have pushed things. But it would evidently have to wait. He narrowed his eyes at Naruto. If the blond thought this was going to be just a onetime thing to satisfy his curiosity, Sasuke just might have to revisit his decision to not kill him. He looked at the blue eyes, trying to read what was happening. The underlying lust was still visible, which soothed Sasuke somewhat. But it was overlaid with guilt and determination.

"Fine. I'm going to shower," Sasuke's voice was tinged with annoyance.

Naruto bit his lip, sensing the leashed anger in his friend. "You need to eat, too. There should still be leftovers from before."

Sasuke nodded curtly, then went to shower.

Naruto sat down on the futon, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. "God, this is just not fucking fair," he mumbled, hoping his erection would go away before Sasuke got out of the shower. Trying very hard to not think about Sasuke _in_ the shower.

He look up, suddenly noticing the crow still perched on the broken glass in the window. Naruto knew he must be projecting but he swore he saw a look of amusement in the crow's intelligent eyes before it flew away.

* * *

They decided that - until Tsunade had examined Naruto's hand thoroughly - he shouldn't risk large expenditures of chakra. Which ruled out teleportation. So they ended up walking to the Hokage's office instead.

Naruto was acutely aware of the looks they got. They way people's face would brighten into a warm smile of greeting to Naruto, then abruptly freeze in either fear or distrust when they caught sight of who was walking beside him. Sasuke appeared not to notice, but Naruto felt his anger slowly build as they walked.

It angered him. He was tired of bad things being done and swept under the rug, leaving others to take the blame. To what purpose? Just so it could all happen again?

Impatience surged through him. He only agreed to keep the findings about Danzo temporarily secret because otherwise it would give the people who had enabled him a chance to cover their tracks and escape. But watching the way the villagers looked at Sasuke, judging him in their ignorance, made his blood boil. He knew that it wasn't really their fault that they didn't understand, but he was afraid that their attitude might make Sasuke change his mind before they even got to the tower.

He would never allow something like this to happen again. As Hokage, he would make sure that the system was changed. But he needed Sasuke with him. He couldn't lose him now. The walk to the tower seemed endless.

"Relax," Sasuke's emotionless voice reached him. "They aren't important enough to make me change my mind."

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked over at Sasuke's calm, expressionless face. Sasuke turned and looked briefly at him for a moment, his dark eyes impenetrable. It was all Naruto could do to not wrap his arms around Sasuke and kiss him right in the middle of the street. He wondered with a bit of amusement what the villagers would think about _that._

"Don't even consider it," Sasuke said, a small twitch on his lips.

"What?!" Naruto blushed, realizing he must have been looking at Sasuke a lot less subtly than he thought.

The rest of the walk seemed somehow better. Naruto walked next to Sasuke, the backs of their hands and the outside of their arms occasionally brushing.

Naruto still bristled when he saw anyone casting a disparaging glance at his friend, but for some reason after their brief exchange Sasuke seemed almost smug about it rather than annoyed or offended. Naruto wondered why, but figured this wasn't the time to ask.

* * *

They arrived at the Hokage Tower and were shown inside, the guards clearly having been told to expect them.

Tsunade ran her measuring gaze over them both as they entered her office, dismissing the guards and sealing the room.

"I see you decided to take the door this time. Are you having difficulties with your chakra levels?" Her voice reflected her concern as she walked over to them, examining Naruto's arm.

"No. I think I'm ok, but I just… didn't want to accidently embed Sasuke and me into your floor or something if my chakra levels suddenly destabilized."

Tsunade's eyebrows raised in surprise at the unusually sensible precaution. She glanced over at the dark-haired ninja, fairly sure that Naruto's new-found risk-aversion was more tied to keeping his friend safe than ensuring his own safety.

"It looks ok. I think we've figured out what went wrong last time. Instead of doing the reversal seals simultaneously, we need to first release the one that drains chakra before releasing the one that damages the chakra production."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure, or are you guessing again?"

Tsunade released Naruto's arm and turned to face the Uchiha, her expression completely calm as she raised an eyebrow. "Did I miss the part where you had a better solution and were in any position to carry it out? No, I thought not."

Sasuke had the grace to look away.

Tsunade wasn't finished with him, though, as she stepped right up into his personal space, wrapping her fingers lightly around his chin to turn him to face her. She looked into his eyes for a moment, before releasing him. "You're clean. Good. Are you planning on staying that way, or was this just a special occasion today to keep me off your back?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't back down from her challenge. "It's permanent. I've broken the cycle."

Tsunade's gaze didn't waver, and Sasuke thought he caught a glimmer of respect in her amber eyes. "Well. There appears to be at least some side benefits to being a sharingan-holder. Even if it greatly destabilizes the mind in the first place, at least it gives you a shortcut for repairing some of the damage you inflict on yourself."

Sasuke didn't seem surprised at the fact that she seemed to know exactly what had happened. It took Naruto a moment to remember that Sai's mice had been sentried outside Sasuke's home, and probably would have sense the chakra spike when the Uchiha activated his sharingan.

"Good. Then I don't have to take drastic measures on my own. Though at some point, I do want to know where you got it from."

Sasuke simply looked at her, as Tsunade turned her attention back to Naruto. "I want to wait until both you and Sasuke are fully recovered before we make another attempt to deactivate the seal. We'll try in two days. Kakashi will be back then as well. Why don't you go and do some training. I want to know if you notice any difference when you spar. Tell me immediately if you notice anything. But by the looks of it, everything has returned to the way it was before we attempted the deactivation."

Naruto paused, getting the strong sense that Tsunade was just trying to get him out of her office. He was slightly annoyed, because he knew that Sasuke wanted to talk to her about becoming active again. But if she were impatient to get them out, it was probably better to come back later when she would be more likely to be charitable about things. "Fine, fine. We'll come back once I've tested it out a bit. Let's go, Teme."

"No," Tsunade said, turning to look at Sasuke. "The Uchiha and I have a few things to discuss, if I'm not mistaken."

Naruto's expression immediately turned wary.

"Then I'll stay as well," Naruto stated firmly.

"It's fine, Naruto," Sasuke's voice was completely calm. "Hokage-sama likely has some questions for me."

"Sasuke -" Naruto began, his worry showing clearly in his voice.

"She's not the first Sanin I've had a private conversation with, Dobe. I don't need you to stay and hold my hand."

Naruto opened his mouth to object again, but Tsunade cut him off.

"Brat, you're not Hokage yet. Now get out of here. I promise I'll return him to you when we're finished."

Naruto _really_ didn't want to leave the two of them alone. He wasn't sure how firm Sasuke was in his decision to stay, and knew that Tsunade was often pretty blunt and might end up really pissing Sasuke off without him here to diffuse things. Plus, Sasuke almost never explained himself to people, and Naruto usually ended up playing translator for what he actually meant.

"OUT!" Tsunade barked.

Naruto slowly turned and walked out, his pulse racing. "Teme… behave."

Sasuke just rolled his eyes. "Later, Dobe."

He exited the Hokage's office and found Sai standing there, waiting. As the doors closed behind him, he could feel when Tsunade re-sealed the room so their conversation couldn't be overheard.

"How are you today, Naruto?" Sai asked, his gaze going to Naruto's damaged hand before returning to his face.

Naruto shrugged. "About to have a nervous breakdown, but otherwise OK, I guess."

Sai smiled slightly. "He took care of you while you were unconscious. You were right."

Naruto looked at him sharply, realizing that Sai must know what had happened inside of Sasuke's home if he knew that much. "Yes. He's my friend."

Sai tilted his head to the side, studying him. "You care for him more than your other friends, though."

Naruto shifted his feet, not wanting to lie to his friend, but not really comfortable with the direction this conversation was going either. "Yes. He is… my best friend."

The former Root nin looked puzzled. "But he tried to kill you. Multiple times. And he abandoned you. How does that constitute a 'best friend'?"

Naruto chuckled. No matter how many times they had this conversation, Sai wasn't satisfied with his explanation. Probably because Naruto didn't really understand it either. He just knew it to be true. "Well, I never said we weren't a bit fucked up. But… he was my friend before I was good at anything. Now I'm useful to the village, and people tolerate me. But when Sasuke and I first met, that wasn't the case."

Sai sighed. "People more than tolerate you, Naruto. But I still don't think I understand friendship very well if this is what makes up best friends. But… I am glad that at least you were right about him this time."

Naruto couldn't suppress the amusement at his friend's words. Sai had come far. But he still had a ways to go.

"Baa-chan said I have to go train and see what my hand can handle. Do you want to come with me?"

"No. I have something here I need to do first."

Naruto was used to the cryptic way the dark-haired nin spoke, and thought nothing more of it as he went to the training field.

* * *

Tsunade and Sasuke looked at each other for a moment in silence.

The Hokage tapped her nails together, clearly beginning to lose patience.

"I believe you have something you wish to ask me, young Uchiha."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Is it mine for the asking?"

Tsunade's lips twitched into a tiny smile. "Well, that would probably be too easy. But let's hear what you are going to ask for, first."

"I want to rejoin active duty and be assigned to the same mission Naruto is working on."

Tsunade leaned back, clearly not surprised at the audacious request. "Let me get this straight. You - a rogue nin who left the village as a Genin and joined the ranks first of the man who killed the Third Hokage, and _then_ joined the organization who destroyed the village - _you_ are asking me to place you on a mission that even the most loyal Jounin and Anbu members don't have access to?"

Sasuke's expression didn't fluctuate. "Yes. If you want me to rejoin the village, that is my price."

"Hmm," Tsunade said, eying him critically. "When you say rejoin the village, what exactly does that mean?"

Sasuke didn't hesitate. "It means I will take on whatever missions are assigned to me, as long as they don't interfere with this mission."

"And you will serve the village? You will give your loyalty to Konoha?"

This time Sasuke did hesitate. "Naruto is going to be the next Hokage?"

Tsunade nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Then as long as that remains unchanged, I will give my loyalty to Konoha."

The amber eyes narrowed at him. "So what you're really saying is that you give your loyalty to Naruto."

Sasuke simply stood there, looking at her. Waiting.

"Hm," she said again, though this time there was a small smile playing about her lips. "I might be able to accept that. I could probably even make it so that the role that you take once officially being deemed fit for duty would be something that either reported to Naruto or involved serving as his protection, as future Hokage."

Something flashed in Sasuke's eyes at her words but was gone before she could read what it was.

"Of course, there is still the issue of your Genin status. Genin are not allowed to serve in Anbu. And the next Chunin exams are almost a year away, possibly more given the focus of most villages is on rebuilding after the war."

"Naruto never passed the Chunin exams either. Yet he is leading an Anbu mission. You told him that his performance in the war was more of a test than anything that would have been given to him in making Jounin, or even Anbu."

"Chatty little brat. He wasn't supposed to go telling people about that," she said with a slight huff. "Well. I suppose I could make a similar exception in your case. Though eventually we would have to formalize it, since you will be longer term in your Anbu role than Naruto will be in his. Perhaps we can weave it into your mission fit evaluation."

"Evaluation?"

Tsunade smiled with a hint of sadistic pleasure. "Yes. Kakashi should be back from his mission tomorrow. Sakura and Naruto had to be evaluated by him when they had completed their independent training. I believe it is only appropriate that you do as well."

"Hn." Sasuke had mixed feelings about being evaluated by his old sensei. But he supposed it was a necessary step. If he really were going to be back in the village, he would have to deal with the ties from his past at some point. "Though if he is going to tell me to come at him with intent to kill like he did the first time, I suggest you have a successor lined up for his position."

Tsunade snorted. "Arrogant brat. Your combat skills aren't what I am concerned about in this evaluation. Kakashi will be testing you on other things."

Sasuke looked at her warily, not sure what to make of that. If it were going to be a test of loyalty, he had clearly failed that test years ago.

"Very well. Tomorrow you will be evaluated by Kakashi. Assuming he finds you acceptable, I will assign you to the mission you requested."

Sasuke blinked. He really hadn't expected her to agree so quickly. "Why?"

Tsunade shot him a glare. "Powerful ninjas are both a risk and a liability to a village. As you yourself have already proven. Without a purpose, you are a danger to this village if you stay. But you would be even more of a danger if you left, possibly allying yourself with one of our enemies. But aside from all that, I selected Naruto to be my successor. That means I trust his judgment, even though he is a complete brat when it comes to anything having to do with you. He trusts you. So I will defer to his judgment on this. But you still have to pass Kakashi's assessment."

Sasuke just stood there for a moment, unsure what to say or do. Orochimaru's indoctrination and tests of loyalty had been… much more painful and thorough. Though in the end, they had still failed.

"Now, get out of my office before I change my mind."

Sasuke inclined his head politely before turning to leave. "So I assume that the restrictions on my using chakra have been lifted? I will need to train if I am going to resume active duty."

Tsunade nodded tersely. "Yes. You may train, but only with Naruto. You'll find him on one of the outer training fields. Unless he is using only taijutsu, he never practices too close to the village. Now go find him before he destroys one of my training grounds. I'm sure he's going crazy waiting to hear if you ended up in jail or not after our conversation."

Sasuke didn't say anything but he didn't miss the trace of warmth and humor behind her words. She had true affection and respect for Naruto.

And she hadn't been in the village when the decision about Itachi and his clan had been made.

He could make his peace with working for her until Naruto became Hokage.

* * *

Sasuke stepped out into the hallway as Shizune entered. He could hear the two women speaking, but his attention was drawn to the dark-haired nin waiting for him.

"You have decided to officially rejoin the village," Sai's voice seemed to hold no opinion on the matter, but his eyes watched Sasuke carefully.

Sasuke ignored the statement and turned to leave, having no desire to spend any time conversing with Sai. He wanted to find Naruto.

"If you're looking for Naruto, I'd check training field eighteen. That's where he usually goes when he's nervous. The terrain is more challenging and requires more focus."

Sasuke paused, turning to look back at Sai with a look of annoyance. "I don't need your help to find Naruto. Just because you've spent the last couple of years working with him, don't think you know him better than I do."

Sai smiled at him, making Sasuke's hackles rise. "I am his friend. I have protected him from the damage that you have inflicted on him several times. You should be aware that I still intend to do so."

"So you blocked my sword once. You don't really know that I would have struck him. Or that he really would not have defended himself."

Sai tilted his head. "I blocked your blow. I know exactly how much force was behind it, Uchiha. But that wasn't the only damage you inflicted on Naruto."

Sasuke sneered. "If you are talking about _hurt feelings_ , then I don't want to hear about it. That's between Naruto and me."

Sai shrugged. "I wouldn't know anything about hurt feelings. But I'm actually talking about when he offered himself up to the Raikage's subordinates after your attack on Killer B. Danzo had ordered your death to maintain peace with the Land of Lightning. The Raikage had also issued an execution order for you. Naruto tried to appease them by offering himself up as a substitute when he refused to divulge any information about you to the Raikage's men. He was nearly beaten to death because of your actions. He simply knelt there, letting them beat him until I intervened and requested that they stop."

Sasuke froze, anger, fear, and disbelief temporarily making it impossible to think. "He… WHAT?!"

"I couldn't really understand why he did that. I mean… you had joined an organization that was dedicated to killing him by extracting the kyuubi from him. It would be hard to not take that personally. And before that, you had tried to kill him multiple times. Why would it bother him that the Raikage had set an execution order for you? Clearly you had no concerns for Naruto's existence. In fact, you were proactively supporting the people trying to end it. It… made no sense to me. At first I thought it was because Sakura had begged him to bring you back after you first left, and he had promised to do so."

Sai's words snapped Sasuke out of his daze. His eyes narrowed. He had always hated the way Naruto had fixated on Sakura. And he didn't want to think that everything tied back to her. Was that why Naruto was holding back? Did he still love Sakura? Was all this somehow… for her?

"But then when Sakura confessed her love to Naruto and told him she released him from her promise and wanted only him, he pushed her away and told her he wasn't doing it for her. I didn't understand," Sai looked puzzled.

Sasuke's eyes snapped to his. _Sakura had… confessed? And Naruto rejected her?_

"I still don't understand Naruto's definition of friendship. When his other friends decided that - in the interest of peace with the Land of Lightning - they had to take it on themselves to eliminate you, Naruto defied a direct order to remain, tricking his captain and preventing Sakura and Kakashi from carrying out their mission. Defying Danzo's direct orders. Though I guess since he was dead, the risk of being called out for treason was reduced." Sai seemed to shrug as though that were of no consequence.

Sasuke's mind was reeling. How dare Naruto do all this? Sasuke had never asked for his help. Never wanted Naruto to risk something so incredibly foolishly all for...

Sai's words cut off his spiraling thoughts. "Why did he do those things?" Sai's question seemed an honest one.

Sasuke didn't know what to say. He was still in shock from everything Sai had just told him.

"I don't know," Sasuke bit out, turning and walking away from Naruto's teammate.

His fists clenched. He didn't know. But he was going to fucking find out. And kick Naruto's ass when he did.

Sai watched him go, seemingly content with his reaction.

* * *

_to be continued…_

I only was able to cover about 2/3rds of what I had planned in this chapter (I didn't want to cut the lemon short, so that will be full in next chapter). If I end up needing to post an alternate version of the next chapter on AO3 or y!gal, I will let you know in the author's note at the beginning.

As for Itachi and the crow... there are tons of crows in Japan (and everywhere else). So you can read what you'd like into the Tsukuyomi scene and the aftermath. I won't be more explicit about it than I am here, but I will let it be up to the readers on what it all means. I know what it is in my head.

Also… if there are particular things that you want Naruto and Sasuke to discuss that were killing you during canon and I haven't covered yet, let me know what they are and I will try to work them in. The Raikage thing and Sakura's confession were huge for me, along with Itachi and Jiraiya's death and the Pein battle.

And as a warning, I just was given an Xbox One (my man loves me LOL) and a new version of Assassin's Creed. So... if updates slow down, that is why. BUT... reviews do in fact guilt me into updating faster. Just so you know.                    


	20. On the forest floor

**WARNING: 18+ WARNING: 18+ WARNING:18+ PLEASE READ THIS:** This is HARD YAOI, which means a full boy x boy sex. There will be **inappropriate use of weapons and sharingan**. You won't miss much plot in this chapter, so if it bothers you, PLEASE JUST SKIP this chapter and wait for the next update.

 **Author's note:** Ok, so all your comments inspired me to update quickly. *hugs you while eyeing Xbox wistfully*.

**-xXx-**

Sasuke left the Hokage tower, heading directly for training field 18. His mind was sorting through the information Sai had given him. And what it meant.

He had been wondering why Naruto had been pulling back from sex after the first time. Of course, the blond had been angry about the drugs, but it had seemed like something more than that. After all, Sasuke had been clean that morning, and Naruto had still pulled away.

Many ninjas avoided serious relationships, due to the occupational hazards involved with being a ninja. It was hard to think about 'forever' when the life expectancy was so short. And the village didn't have a good track record of caring for its orphans if things went wrong. Sasuke could personally attest to that. But even with all that, very few nins were celibate. The stress and constant presence of death drove most to seek out lovers… to find some life before they died.

Neither Naruto nor Sasuke had done so up to this point. But Sasuke would be lying if he said he didn't like it. And saw no reason not to continue. But Naruto had pulled back, leaving Sasuke confused and more than a little frustrated. If they both enjoyed it, then why stop?

But Sai's words had him thinking, and things were clicking into place. People didn't call him a genius for nothing.

The training ground Naruto apparently favored was the furthest from the village. Sasuke stopped by his house and picked up his training gear. After he beat the shit out of Naruto for being such an idiot, Sasuke wanted to make full use of his newfound freedom to finally train.

He glanced at his pack, then added one more thing before heading out and continuing on his way, anticipation thrumming through his body.

* * *

Naruto had given up trying to calm his mind enough to go into sage mode. He kept thinking of all the things Tsunade could say to piss Sasuke off and vice versa, resulting in Sasuke leaving the village or attacking her and being thrown in jail.

It was a long list.

"Stupid, stubborn asshole!" Naruto growled, unzipping his vest as the heat of the day was already growing stronger. "Why couldn't they let me stay!"

He huffed out a breath before creating a massive rasengan and smashing it into a nearby tree, sending it flying into a million splinters.

"Dammit!" Naruto shouted out his frustration at being shut out of one of the most important turning points in his life. He supposed if Sasuke left, he'd just hunt him down and drag him back again.

"Though that's always easier said than done," he mumbled to himself, thinking that he probably should calm himself down enough to go into sage mode so that if Sasuke _did_ decide to leave the village after talking with Tsunade, he would have a better chance of finding him.

First he needed to burn off a bit more energy. He quickly made some hand seals and several shadow clones appeared. A different time, he would experiment a bit with combining the shadow clones with the teleportation jutsu, but first he needed to make sure his chakra was stable enough to mess with that.

Remembering Tsunade's instruction (though he suspected it was just an excuse to make him leave) to test his chakra abilities to see if they were stable, he briefly eyed the clones before he began his sparring. There didn't appear to be any flaws or instability in them, which was a good indicator that his chakra was fine. The forbidden technique was sensitive to chakra fluctuations or low chakra levels, making it a pretty good litmus test.

He was about to have them each create a rasengan when he suddenly felt a familiar chakra flare behind him. Before he could even turn and look, he and all his clones were flying through the air, the clones popping out of existence as they were dispelled by the wall of force that struck them.

Naruto twisted his body in mid-air, re-aligning so he landed on the balls of his feet, knees slightly bent in a defensive stance.

"The fuck, Teme! I said I wanted to practice the teleportation technique against the rinnegan's 'push' technique, but I didn't mean for you to just show up and spring it on me! I'm still trying to figure out how stable my chakra is!"

Sasuke's rinnegan stayed trained on Naruto and tomoes appeared in both eyes, indicating he had also activated his sharingan.

"And what did you find so far?" Sasuke's voice was deep and controlled, but Naruto could sense the tightly coiled tension in the man.

Naruto knew better than to look Sasuke directly in the eye when his sharingan was activated. He shifted his stance, focusing on Sasuke's legs and hands for clues on what the nin was going to throw next.

"I was able to make a bunch of shadow clones no problem. At least until you came up and rammed them all. I wanted to test it out a bit more before trying the Hiraishin no Jutsu, since… ya know… it would suck to screw that up midway through." Naruto smiled a little, trying to sense if Sasuke were angry with him, or angry from his conversation with Tsunade. The expressionless face of his friend gave nothing away, though Naruto wasn't able to look at it directly in case Sasuke tried any other 'surprises'.

"So your chakra is stable. I didn't see any fluctuations or irregularities in you or your clones."

"Yeah, seems like," Naruto fought the urge to rub the back of his head. He still was getting a weird, aggressive vibe off Sasuke and it would be foolish to let his guard down. "So… how did your conversation with Tsunade go?"

Sasuke stepped forward.

Naruto lowered his stance, his body coiled and poised to move as he instinctively responded to the focused intensity of Sasuke's movements. Sasuke's eyes were locked on him, and it took all of Naruto's willpower not to foolishly meet their gaze.

"My discussion with Tsunade was fine. Kakashi will be evaluating me for mission fitness tomorrow. If all goes well, I'll be assigned to the same mission you are immediately."

Naruto blinked. "What? That was… a lot easier than I thought it would be. So then… what's wrong? Was there a catch?"

Sasuke stepped forward again, his deliberate stride slow and unhurried. Naruto felt a strange tension and uncertainty grown in him, unsure what was going through Sasuke's mind.

"There is no catch. Evidently, she trusts your _judgment._ " There was no mistaking the slight anger that laced Sasuke's last word.

"Um… ok, so… what are you so pissed off about?"

"Sai was waiting for me when I got out of Tsunade's office."

Sasuke took another step towards Naruto.

Sasuke might be Naruto's friend, but there was no denying that he was also a ruthless, powerful ninja. Naruto fought the urge to take a step back, but every instinct was telling him to either attack or back the fuck away.

He did neither, standing his ground. If Sasuke wanted a fight, he would give it to him. But he wouldn't be the one to start it without finding out what had set him off in the first place.

"Look, I know you and Sai don't get along well," Naruto began placatingly. "But give the guy a chance. I hated him when I first met him, too."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his fingers moved in a slow articulation, not exactly a seal but… Just as Naruto's mind was searching for where he'd seen that motion before, he realized he couldn't move.

"But… I didn't look at your -" And then it hit him. Itachi had done the same thing… casting a genjutsu without eye contact, using his hand instead. "Fuck, Sasuke!"

Naruto strained, trying to force his body to obey his command to move, but the only thing that he seemed to have control over was his head.

He watched as Sasuke calmly walked towards him, a smirk on his face. "You were always weak against genjutsu, Dobe."

Naruto growled, then closed his eyes and tried to do what Jiraiya had taught him. He stopped all chakra flow, and tried to reverse it and break the genjutsu's hold.

He felt Sasuke's hold give only slightly before it was tightened again.

"Hn," Sasuke said, standing directly in front of Naruto. "That wasn't bad. Probably against anyone other than an Uchiha, you would have broken free."

Naruto opened his eyes and glared at the arrogance in Sasuke's voice. There was no point in avoiding eye contact now. He was already caught. "Bastard. Fine, you won this round. Though you didn't even let me know we were gonna spar, but whatever."

Sasuke took a final step forward, placing him an arm's reach in front of Naruto. Which only served to underscore that Naruto couldn't move. Naruto's glare intensified, causing Sasuke to smirk.

The way Sasuke looked at him was causing Naruto's heart rate to elevate. He lied to himself and said it was from straining against the bastard's hold.

"So… you can let me go now, asshole. We can spar for real if you're up for it," Naruto tried to keep his thoughts focused on the prospect of sparring. And not on heat that seemed to be building in him as Sasuke stood so close with a dangerous light in his eyes.

Sasuke's gaze dropped to Naruto's mouth, and he slowly drew out his katana without lifting his gaze. The sound of the blade being drawn made the palms of Naruto's hands tingle. This was the same blade that Sasuke had nearly run him through with when they'd found him at Orochimaru's lair. Naruto tried again to break free of the genjutsu's hold to no avail.

"No, I don't think I will release you quite yet." Sasuke's voice was devoid of all emotion.

He slowly drew the blade over the front of Naruto's shirt, slicing it through with extreme precision, not scratching the hard, tan flesh beneath the fabric.

Naruto could smell the slight scent of Sasuke's sweat and heat. He felt a coil of anticipation in his stomach that had nothing to do with the thrill of battle. He noted vaguely that the weapon was missing the cloth wraps that Sasuke usually kept around the handle to improve the grip.

"Asshole. This better just be a genjutsu. I don't have a lot of extra shirts," Naruto breathed out, hoping Sasuke took his shortness of breath as coming from his straining against the genjutsu, not from the surge of lust that would have made his knees buckle if he were able to move his body at all.

Sasuke raised his gaze from Naruto's chest to look directly in his eyes. "No, this is real. Instead of giving you an artificial set of images in the genjutsu, I am allowing you to see your surroundings as they are. The only 'false' part is that I've convinced your mind that it cannot control your body. Therefore, you cannot move until I release you."

Sasuke tilted his wrist, allowing the blade to catch the fabric of one side of Naruto's sliced shirt. He slowly pushed the fabric to the side, widening the opening of the material until it was completely pulled off Naruto's right shoulder along with the vest the blond had been wearing over it, the fabric still hooked to the tip of Sasuke's blade.

Naruto wet his lips, forcing his voice to come out normally and ignoring the heat that flared low in his belly at the blatantly sexual act of aggression. "Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

Sasuke kept the fabric caught on the tip of his katana as he walked around to the side, pulling the shirt and vest completely free of Naruto's right arm. The garments hung limply from his other shoulder, leaving Naruto feeling exposed and increasingly turned on.

"Sai told me what you did after Danzo and the Raikage issued orders for my death."

Naruto fought to keep his focus on Sasuke's words, rather than the sound of the man's voice as it came from behind him. His chest was sheened with sweat as he tried not to think about the fact that Sasuke was stripping him of his shirt in the middle of the secluded training grounds. Sure, he had his katana pointed at his back but… Sasuke was… _stripping_ him.

He felt the cool brush of the blade against the bare skin of his back, and would have arched at the erotic feel of it if he could.

His groin stirred. He tried to tell himself it was fucked up to get hard at the touch of Sasuke's katana, but his dick wasn't interested in rational discussion. He had always been drawn to Sasuke's power. It really should be no surprise.

"W-what? The Raikage?" Naruto tried to focus. "Yeah, I mean, he was pissed at me, and said a ninja shouldn't bow down so easily, even to beg for the life of a friend but -"

Sasuke's blade nicked Naruto's shoulder. "You _bowed down_ to the Raikage and _begged_?!"

Naruto stopped. There were a lot of things Sai could have told Sasuke.  He should probably shut up until he knew what had actually been said. "What did Sai tell you?"

Sasuke walked back around so that he was once more standing in front of Naruto.

"That you offered yourself up as the personal punching bag for his subordinates if they'd withdraw the execution order for me."

Naruto didn't really know what to say. It was true, if a little embarrassing when put that way. But why would Sasuke be so angry?

Sasuke's eyes blazed with a swirl of other emotions that Naruto didn't know how to read.

"Why would you do something like that? It wasn't any of your business," Sasuke's voice was hard.

If Naruto had been able to move his arms, he would have taken a swing at Sasuke for that. Possibly with rasengan.

"Only because you wouldn't let it be my business. You made your own decision, but I made mine."

"You knelt down for another land's kage? You let his subordinates almost beat you to death! How the fuck did that solve anything?! What were you thinking!"

"I was thinking that I didn't want my friend to die for revenge! You wouldn't listen to anything I said, and I… they… Sasuke they were going to _kill_ your stupid ass!"

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment. Then said calmly. "That's what happens, Naruto. Ninjas die. I left the village. I was no longer under its protection. You had no obligation to me."

"Teammates protect each other. I wasn't going to just sit back and do nothing."

Sasuke lifted his blade again, this time hooking the tip into the left shoulder of Naruto's shirt, slowly pushing the fabric off to the side. "We weren't teammates anymore. Sakura felt no such obligation. Neither did Kakashi. They were both willing to kill me for my actions, and comply with Danzo and the Raikage's edicts."

Naruto's eyes looked down as he watched the skilled motion of Sasuke's katana divest him fully of his shirt and vest, flicking it off the blade so it landed in a soft heap on the ground a few feet away.

"So?" Naruto forced the word out, not sure what he should pay attention to more: Sasuke's katana, the words he was saying, or the heat and tension that was pumping off the pale ninja's body.

"So… why did you do it?"

"I… I told you. You were my teammate. My friend."

"Hm," Sasuke said, skepticism tinging his tone. "You have a lot of friends. Would you grovel for all of them? Give up your dream of becoming Hokage for all of them?"

Naruto swallowed. He would do anything to help his friends. He would. But.

He would do more for Sasuke.

"I would always stand by my friends, Sasuke. You know that it's true."

Sasuke looked at him consideringly. "Being part of a ninja team means being willing to sacrifice your own life for the sake of the mission… the sake of the teammates that would need to carry out that mission. But there was no mission here, Naruto. There was no team."

"I…" Naruto let his eyes flutter closed as the tip of Sasuke's blade trailed down over Naruto's navel, tracing along the fine line of hair that ended at the top of his Anbu issue pants. He could feel himself getting hard. He wondered if Sasuke could tell… though it was beginning to seem like that was the whole point. He was pretty sure Sasuke didn't bother to slice the clothes off the people he killed as a general practice. It wouldn't be efficient.

"Surely you don't expect me to believe that - as Hokage - you will sacrifice yourself for every ninja in the village who fails in a mission or goes astray. It would be the shortest reign ever. And you would accomplish nothing in the end."

Sasuke's composure began to piss Naruto off. His eyes flared open, and he glared at Sasuke, not noticing when the tip of the katana moved down one centimeter, neatly slicing the button off his pants

"I'm not stupid. I lived through the same war you did, Sasuke. I'm not naive. I know people die." He tried not to think of Neji, and all the others that had been lost.

Sasuke's hand was steady as he held the blade still. "Then? Why me? You always avoid answering that question. But I think you know the answer."

Naruto met Sasuke's gaze. He wasn't able to read anything in the swirling depths. There was no way in hell he was going to confess like some girl when he had no idea what Sasuke's reaction would be. Especially not when he was at the wrong end of Sasuke's sword and unable to move. "If you already think you know, then why are you asking me? I thought you'd be sick of hearing those kinds of things by now."

Sasuke shrugged slightly.

"I'm tired of hearing the ones that don't matter from people who don't know me."

Naruto's breath stilled and his eyes widened. Sasuke _never_ admitted that Naruto really knew him.

"Sasuke -"

Sasuke's gaze seemed to intensify, if that were even possible. Naruto could see a thin sheen of sweat on Sasuke's forearm as it held the blade.

"You know what I've done Naruto. I know Tsunade would have kept you in the loop about the reports on me. I served under Orochimaru. I worked with the Akatsuki. I'm not the same boy you knew before I left. I'm not making excuses for any of it. I did what they say I did."

Naruto didn't flinch from the darkness he saw in Sasuke's eyes. He wasn't repulsed by it. If anything, it drew him with an urge to protect him even more than if Sasuke had been an innocent. "You're not the only one with darkness in you, Sasuke. And that's not all that there is inside you."

"My darkness runs deeper than yours, Naruto. Even you must realize that by now."

"Does it?" Naruto thought back to the waterfall, when he'd met his darker self. He knew the seeds of darkness in himself ran deep, despite the fact that he'd defeated them for that moment. "We chose different paths. But we're the same inside."

Sasuke's expression was unchanged, but Naruto sensed a vulnerability in him. In all his years of pursuing Sasuke, it had never occurred to him that there might come a time when Sasuke was the one who felt unworthy. Unsure.

"But you were right. With what you said," Naruto drew a breath to force the words out.

Sasuke's body went rigid, and Naruto realized Sasuke was misunderstanding him. "The other night, too. You were right. I have other friends, Sasuke. But… it isn't the same. I… for me, you always come first. There's never been even a close second."

Sasuke's hand tightened convulsively around the handle of his katana at the words.

"Even if you had damaged your standing with the village to the point where you lost your chance at becoming Hokage?"

Naruto swallowed. He had been aware of the risk at the time. But being Hokage had been meaningless without Sasuke. "Yes. Even then. I didn't want it if you weren't with me. I still don't."

_How can I become Hokage if I can't even save one friend?_

The words from a different confrontation echoed through both their minds.

Sasuke's tongue darted out, wetting his lower lip.

It wasn't much of a confession. But other words felt empty or overly flowery. Seeing the subtle shift in Sasuke's body, Naruto realized it had been enough. Without taking his eyes from Naruto, Sasuke slowly removed the pack from his waist, setting it on the ground beside his feet.

"Tsunade told me I could stay, but only if I would swear loyalty to the village."

Naruto's breath caught at Sasuke's words. There was no way in hell Sasuke would have agreed to that. Not after everything that had happened.

"It's an obvious requirement for members of Anbu," Sasuke said conversationally as he slowly traced his katana down the front of Naruto's thigh, not applying enough pressure to cut the fabric.

Naruto fought to stay focused on Sasuke's words, but he felt the electric heat spark along his body where Sasuke's blade touched him like a caress.

"What did you tell her?"

The motion of Sasuke's blade stilled on Naruto's leg, then continued its journey back up to the waistband of his pants.

"I told her that as long as you were going to be the next Hokage, I would serve the village."

Naruto felt his pulse quicken. There was no way to mistake the implication of Sasuke's statement. He thought briefly of what it would mean to be Hokage and have Sasuke serving under him, but jerked his mind back from those thoughts before he went too far. Those were dangerous fantasies to be having about a man with a katana an inch from his dick.

"Really?" Naruto's voice was strained, his whole body feeling hot, his skin too tight. He had a visceral need to touch the man in front of him, but his body remained frustratingly immobile.

"Hn," the dark amusement in Sasuke's eyes told Naruto his short-circuited fantasy had been caught. And interestingly… not rejected.

Naruto felt himself harden further, his arousal painful against the stiff fabric of his pants.

Sasuke slowly brought the blade down, the tip of it clicking along the tines of the metal zipper, the sound oddly erotic in the silence of the wooded training field, heightened by the danger of the proximity of the sharp blade to Naruto's cock.

"So why have you been pulling back from me?" Sasuke asked his gaze lingering slightly on the front of Naruto's trousers where the hard ridge of the blond's arousal was fully evident. "We've already had sex. You admit you feel more than friendship for me. And you clearly still want me."

Naruto tried to keep some blood in his brain, but it was hard. "Fuck, Sasuke! Release this goddam genjutsu already!"

Sasuke smirked. "Not yet. Answer the question."

"I… I just… I don't know what you want. I know people do stuff when they're on drugs that they wouldn't normally do. Stuff that they don't really want to do. I just… I wanted to give you time to figure out what you want. And not... push you. Or use you."

Sasuke let the tip of his tongue peek out from between his pink lips as he increased the pressure of his blade just slightly, cutting along the edge of Naruto's zipper. The future Hokage would have flinched if it were possible.

Naruto bit his lip as his erection sprung free from his trousers, the skin blessedly intact. Sasuke used the sides of the blade to push the fabric down around Naruto's thighs.

In that moment, Naruto would have sold his soul to have use of his arms to grab Sasuke and kiss him. As it was, all he could do was tip his head back in frustrated arousal.

"Goddammit, Sasuke!"

Sasuke re-sheathed his katana, then slowly circled around Naruto, his fully clothed body brushing softly against Naruto's bare flesh.

"You can't move, right, Dobe?"

Naruto cursed under his breath. "Of course I can't fucking move!"

"Then there is no way that you are forcing me or pressuring me into doing something I don't want right now."

Naruto's anger instantly vanished. He simply stood, his breathing sounding harsh in the forest.

"In fact, I am in complete control of this situation," Sasuke continued, his voice deceptively calm.

Naruto felt his erection harden and lift further, his balls already tightening as though he might cum from the dark, seductive words coming from Sasuke's mouth.

"I can do... whatever I want to you."

He could feel his cock jump at the words. The fact that that one appendage in his body was the one part that was able to move somewhat voluntarily aside from his head made his face flush in a sudden realization. "Oh my god! You fucking pervert! You gave me my mouth, my eyes, and my cock, didn't you?"

His eyes shut tightly when Sasuke's hand wrapped around his dick in a firm grasp that was almost painful against his heavily aroused flesh.

"Those were the parts I was most interested in for this conversation."

Naruto's eyes widened as he realized the implication. "You.. you planned this from when you first cast the genjutsu?"

Sasuke's wrist changed the angle of his grasp as he began to stroke Naruto at an agonizingly slow pace. "I planned this from the instant I stepped out of the Hokage Tower."

Naruto tried to formulate a reply but Sasuke's mouth closed over his. Naruto breathed into the wet heat, loving the taste and feel of Sasuke's lips and tongue as it delved into his mouth. He growled slightly as he felt hands slide over the muscles of his back and dig into the tight mounds of his ass.

Naruto pulled back. "Sasuke, fuck! I get it already. Now let me go! God, let me touch you!"

Sasuke bit Naruto's lower lip hard enough to draw blood in punishment for pulling away from their kiss. "What do you 'get', Naruto?"

Sasuke ran his tongue over Naruto's damaged lip before trailing his lips over Naruto's jaw line.

"I… I…," Naruto drew a breath, trying to clear his mind enough to answer the question. "Dammit, bastard. Stop with the head games. I get that you're ok with this."

Sasuke shot him a look that didn't look pleased at the answer, and he bit down on Naruto's shoulder.

"Ahh! Shit!"

The pale ninja grabbed Naruto's hand, placing it against the erection straining in his own pants. "Does this feel like I'm just 'ok' with this?"

Sasuke rubbed Naruto's hand over his clothed cock, his breathing turning harsh before he stepped back, breaking the contact. Naruto thought he would lose his mind in frustration when he still couldn't move his hands or do anything to continue that touch.

"You're going to have to release me sometime, bastard. And I'm warning you right now that I am going to kill you for this the instant you do."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Not this time," Sasuke stood back and slowly unzipped his shirt. Naruto followed the motion of the pale hands hungrily with his eyes. Sasuke felt the intensity of the gaze as he slowly slid the fabric off his shoulders, letting it pool to the ground at his feet.

The villagers might look at him with hatred, but their hero looked at him with unrelenting hunger.

Naruto's breath was coming fast, as though they were sparring as Sasuke's hands dropped to the purple obi he always wore and began to untie it. Naruto didn't think he would be able to lift his gaze from the sight if the village were attacked by a resurrected Madara right then.

All thoughts were erased when Sasuke pushed the belt and fabric down, standing before Naruto completely naked and heavily aroused. The dappled light scattered across his pale skin as it filtered through the leaves overhead. All Naruto could do was swallow as Sasuke took a deliberate step towards him until their bodies were almost touching. Naruto strained with all his might to be able to move and bring their bodies that last millimeter so their skin would meet.

Sasuke let his eyes roam over Naruto's body, the tan skin sheened with sweat and toned muscles rigid with frustrated desire. The answering hunger in Sasuke's eyes was as unmistakable as the enjoyment in them at Naruto's frustration.

"Fucking bastard. Enjoy it while you can," Naruto growled.

"I fully intend to," was Sasuke's reply as he slowly traced his fingertips over Naruto's chest, thumbing the nipples that pebbled instantly to hardness at the touch. "You've had it your way mostly up until now. It's my turn."

Naruto shuddered at the words. He may or may not have had some heated fantasies about Sasuke binding him in some way and having his way with him, but he'd never imagined it would really happen. Something hot and hard brushed against his belly, and he didn't need to look down to know that it was Sasuke's erection. It made Naruto slightly crazy to think about how turned on Sasuke was. For him. With no drugs, no alcohol… no trauma to hide from. Just him.

Sasuke's eyes were sharp and intent, no hazing from anything other than lust.

The pale ninja gripped Naruto around the waist, allowing their erections to finally come in contact, making both men groan slightly.

Sasuke reveled in the feeling of power that he had. The village might scorn him, might hate and fear him, but he had the future Hokage at his mercy, hard and almost begging for him. It made him want to laugh whenever he saw the way they looked at him. But in the end they didn't matter. The only person Sasuke cared about in the whole village was here in front of him, completely focused on only him.

He thought about the words Naruto had said earlier. He had told Sasuke that he always came first. Sasuke supposed he could live with that. For him it wasn't a matter of Naruto coming first. For him, there was only Naruto. He wondered if the was what the Second was talking about when he had talked about the strength and weakness of the Sharingan holders, but he wouldn't think about that now.

But there was one thing that he would need to clarify before things continued. "I don't share well, Naruto."

Naruto's eyes bore into his, possessive desire clear within the blue depths. "I don't either. Not with you."

Sasuke nodded before bringing their mouths together in a heated, open-mouthed kiss. Their teeth clicked against each other as their tongues thrust together. Aggression, obsession, and possessiveness fused their mouths together, sealing their promise.

Sasuke traced his lips down to the tan chest, his tongue teasing Naruto's nipple the way the blond had done to him before. The sharp breath that was torn from Naruto's mouth would have made him smile if his lips weren't busy with their current task.

He was becoming frustrated with the fact that Naruto's hips remained still, but there was one thing he wanted to do before releasing the genjutsu. He slowly sunk to his knees, keeping his eyes locked on Naruto's.

"Holy shit, Sasuke," Naruto closed his eyes halfway, fighting to keep them open and not miss the sight of Sasuke on his knees before him.

The perfect lips ghosted over the weeping head of his erection, and Naruto's lungs seized.

"This is payback for the time in my shower."

Naruto's breathing hitched as Sasuke moved his lips along the length of his shaft, before his fingers closed around the base. His lips moved down to pull one of Naruto's balls into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the orb. The sound that emerged out of Naruto's mouth was somewhere between a groan and a whine, and it made Sasuke's dick swell even more.

He pumped his hand over the length of Naruto's arousal, shifting his mouth to fondle the other testicle.

"If this ends up all being a genjutsu I will kill you, bastard," Naruto panted, not caring that he had said almost the opposite just a few minutes ago. Rational thought was beyond him for the time being.

Sasuke only hummed before pulling down on Naruto's cock and swirling his tongue over the head before closing his lips around the tip and sucking hard enough to make Naruto's eyes roll back in his head. The veins stood out in Naruto's arms as he strained trying to get them to move so he could plunge them into the black locks and force Sasuke's sinful mouth to go lower and take more of him in.

As if reading his mind, Naruto suddenly found his body released from the genjutsu. All thoughts of anger for the way Sasuke had trapped him had long been forgotten as Sasuke picked up the pace and suction. All Naruto could do was drive his fingers into Sasuke's hair and groan. He never, _ever_ thought Sasuke would actually do this in real life. He didn't notice when Sasuke reached to the pile of clothing that was on the ground beside them and took out a small jar.

He _did_ notice when Sasuke's lubed finger slid into his entrance.

"Wha-, ungh!"

A particularly hard suck distracted Naruto from what he had been going to ask.

"I told you it was my turn this time," Sasuke's low voice brushed warm air over his nearly bursting erection. Sasuke's usually stoic, pale lips were slightly swollen and flushed a deep, carnal pink, shiny with saliva and precum.

The sight made Naruto reel with lust.

This man was his. He felt a resonant growl deep within his chest at the thought. It didn't help things when Sasuke's mouth returned to his dick, the fast-learning tongue flicking across the head of his cock and making short work of Naruto's ability to do anything other than respond. The blood was pounding so hard through Naruto's body that all he could hear was the rush of it in his ears.

Sasuke inserted a second lubed finger, slowly stretching Naruto the way the blond had done to him. When Sasuke fully extended his middle finger and began rubbing deeper inside, Naruto' world contracted to just that point.

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried out as he came, his knees buckling with the force of his orgasm.

He blinked up a few moments later to find himself flat on his back with Sasuke between his thighs nuzzling his stomach. He could feel the hard, hot length of Sasuke's erection brushing against the inside of his thigh as a third finger was added to further stretch his now relaxed muscles.

"Naruto," Sasuke's words ghosted across the sweat-slicked skin of Naruto's abs.

Sasuke raised his head and looked down at his lover, seeing the glazed-over look in the deep blue eyes. His hands shook as he leaned back down, brushing his lips against Naruto's, pressing them open and thrusting his tongue in. He felt the wet slide of Naruto's tongue against his own, and shuddered. His erection was aching.

Naruto slid his hands over the contours of Sasuke's back, feeling the way the muscles flexed under his fingertips. "Now who's a scardy-cat?" Naruto taunted, feeling Sasuke's hesitation.

Sasuke growled, his hands moving with lightning speed to grip Naruto's wrists and pin them up over his head. "Don't."

Sasuke held Naruto pinned as he tried to get himself under control. His whole body was shaking with need. It had been building from the first time Naruto had set foot in his house, when he was almost passed out drunk. He'd been drowning in darkness.

Naruto was the one thing that mattered to him. The only thing he had left.

He felt Naruto's body tense beneath him, and found his hands slowly being pushed back. He look down to see Naruto's smug grin. "You're not going to be able to beat me with brute strength, bastard."

Sasuke groaned as he felt the raw power of the man beneath him. "Next time… I want to fuck you when you're in sage mode."

"Oh, god, fuck! Move your ass, Uchiha or I'm flipping you over and taking revenge from - _ahn, shit!_ "

Naruto felt something cool, slick and smooth thrust into him. Given that Sasuke was still kneeling between his legs, he realize hazily that it wasn't his dick.

"What -?" He glanced down to see that Sasuke had trust the smooth, rounded, evidently heavily lubed hilt of his katana into him, and was now slowly beginning to move it, fucking him with it. "Holy… god, fucking shit Sasuke you kinky bastard!"

Naruto vaguely remembered Jiraiya saying it was always the quiet ones.

Sasuke smiled darkly and simply changed the angle, brushing the cold metal against Naruto's prostate, causing him to arch up like a bow stretched taut. Sasuke looked down at the tightly muscled body drawn out beneath him and felt his composure crack. He had wanted to spend more time teasing his lover, but the need to feel his own flesh penetrate Naruto rather than the hilt of his sword nearly overwhelmed him.

He loved the strength of Naruto's body, the almost unbreakable nature of him, since gentleness had long ago left Sasuke's physical vocabulary. He loved the way Naruto showed no fear regardless of the odds, never backing down. He loved the way he never gave up, because god knows anyone else would have done so with Sasuke long ago. He realized Naruto's words from the other day were true for him, too. Naruto was the only one strong enough to pull him back when he got too close to the edge.

He withdrew his sword, tossing it aside before levering himself over Naruto's body, positioning himself between the tan thighs. His eyes glinted.

"Tsunade gave me permission to spar with you for training. Winner gets control?"

The thought of fucking Sasuke after sparring with him almost made Naruto cum on the spot.

"I won this time," Sasuke shifted, gripping Naruto's hips with one and lining up his erection with the other.

"Fuck you! I wasn't even -" Naruto cut off as Sasuke drove in, his eyes widening and his mouth frozen at the intensity of the sensation, Sasuke's heat and girth a sharp contrast to the narrow hilt of his sword.

"Oh, _fuck!_ " Sasuke momentarily forgot to breathe. He'd never felt anything like the tight heat clutched around him. How had he gone this long without knowing this? He forced himself to pause and give Naruto time to adjust rather than just pounding into him the way his body was screaming for him to do. His breathing came in harsh gasps and he lowered his head to rest on Naruto's chest as he wrestled for control of himself.

"N-Naruto…," Sasuke didn't know what to ask, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold out.

Naruto wrapped his legs around Sasuke's waist and pulled him even deeper, making them both groan. "Don't stop."

Sasuke's abs clenched at the huskiness in Naruto's voice. He pulled out slowly, then thrust harshly back in, the bones in his hips slamming against the muscles in Naruto's ass as he was sheathed fully again.

"Fuck, Naruto… shit!" Sasuke repeated the movement, lost in the intensity of the sensation that was shooting up from his cock and radiating throughout his entire body.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke's face, seeing it twisted in ecstasy, dark eyes half-closed and glazed with lust as they looked down on him. "Sasuke… ah… again…"

Sasuke lifted Naruto's hips slightly to adjust the angle and thrust again, then again, until he found an angle that had Naruto's nails elongating, his body bowing up in pleasure. "Fuck, right there!"

Naruto's nails dug into Sasuke's back drawing blood, and Sasuke felt all control shatter as his hips snapped forward again and again with ruthless intensity.

"Ah, god! Yes! Fuck!" Naruto's throaty voice seemed to wrap around Sasuke's senses, blinding him to any other sound.

"Naruto… _ahn!"_

Naruto's hands slipped from his back to grip around the hard muscles of Sasuke's biceps as his lover continued to pound into him with brutal force. The world around them vanished. Nothing existed except the slick, wet heat and wicked friction between their bodies.

Sasuke felt a coil of pleasure low in his belly, and his balls tightened. He made barely three more thrusts before he came, his orgasm hitting him so hard that his entire body locked up as Naruto's name was torn from his throat.

The sight of Sasuke losing himself filled Naruto's field of vision as he came a moment later. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke's hips continued to flex as he rode out the final aftershock of his orgasm before collapsing on the forest floor beside Naruto.

They lay there, bodies slick with sweat, breathing heavily. Naruto didn't take his gaze from Sasuke's face, their eyes locked together. Slowly, Naruto reached over and brushed a strand of hair from Sasuke's cheek. A pale hand reached up, locking around the tan fingers, holding them tightly. The harsh grip was returned, the meaning understood.

Neither was ever letting go.

* * *

_to be continued…_

Next chapter will have Kakashi's test, plus a reunion with the Rookie 9 (-1 *cries*). Since this chapter ended up being all lemon, there will end up being (I think) 23 chapters instead of 22.

While some of the characters in the next chapter will have a role in the final few chaps of the fic, I will only have one chapter 'dedicated' to the Rookie 9 + 3 - 1 (is anyone else a big enough canon nerd to know what I mean by that? LOL) since this story is mostly about Naruto and Sasuke (if there is a sequel about Sasuke 'settling in to the village', obviously there would be more development here). SO if there are certain things/issues you are curious about, please tell me know so I can see if I can work it in. This chapter will take longer to write because it is more complicated with so many different people in it and I want to get their characters right. Not everyone will figure out immediately that Sasuke and Naruto are romantically involved, but ofc there are some who definitely will (can you guess who?). Also, Kakashi and Sasuke have had a complex relationship in the past, so - again - if there are particular elements of that you are jonsing to see get discussed, let me know!

(and as a 'safety note', the only reason the handle of a katana is safe to use _that_ way is that - once the leather or cloth grip is removed - traditional katana handles are smooth and rounded, with no ridges or pointed edges that would make it dangerous as a toy so like... not just ANY blade handle should be used in this way)


	21. Procedures, tests, and teammates

**Summary:** The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

 **Author's note:** This chapter was so much harder to write because it involved so many other characters, and all the characters in the manga are complex and have their own back-story and issues and GAH! I am not going to resolve all of them in this fic. But I put in two of the ones I thought were most important here, which were Shikamaru and Kakashi. Thanks to SweetHeaven for sanity checking my Kakashi. And here is yet another monster chapter!

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 21 -  Kakashi’s test and The Rookie 9**

Sasuke’s sleep had been deep and dreamless.  He lay in bed, his body feeling tired and slightly sore, but completely relaxed.  He turned his head slightly to observe the man slumbering next to him.  Up until very recently, the only close touches he had engaged in with someone else had been in combat.  Sex had elements that were similar to combat, though he supposed that could be more because of who he and Naruto were rather than something innate in the act itself.

But there was something… calming about the act, the feeling he had when his body was coming down from the post-climax high.  He thought through what he knew of the chemistry of the brain: endorphins, pheromones, adrenaline.  He supposed they explained what he was feeling.  Though the intensity was unexpected.

He tried to remember the last time he had felt so calm and… almost peaceful.  Not since he was a small child.  But even then, he had felt the pressure of not really being enough in his father’s eyes.  The pressure of living in Itachi’s shadow.  Of always struggling to get attention and praise from his parents.

The contentment he felt now was… fuller.  Different.  Both intensely volatile and solidly stable in a way that he couldn’t explain, but was somehow centered in the man sleeping next to him.  

The shadows of his past would always haunt him.  Both of them.  But just in this moment, he felt like he might actually be able to survive them.  

After yesterday, there was no doubt that Sasuke was not second in Naruto’s eyes.  Naruto saw Sasuke’s flaws.  And accepted him anyway.  Needed him, even.  It felt odd, to be needed as something other than a tool of destruction.

Hesitantly, he reached toward Naruto’s sleeping form, slowly wrapping an arm around the warm, solid body, pulling him close so they rested softly together as he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 

“We need to go talk to Tsunade first,” Naruto said after swallowing his rice porridge as they sat together on the futon in Sasuke’s house, eating their breakfast.  They hadn’t had a chance to replace the furniture yet in either of their apartments, but today wasn’t likely to be the day that happened either.  “She wanted to fix my arm today.  Then, I guess you’ll go play tag with Kakashi.”

Naruto smiled, but Sasuke could tell that he was nervous.

“She said it wasn’t a combat test.”

Naruto shrugged, taking another bite.  “If it were combat, I wouldn’t be worried.”

Sasuke’s lips twitched into a small smile of acknowledgment at Naruto’s compliment.  The only person in the village who could challenge him in combat was eating breakfast with him. And the penalty for losing was… almost as interesting as the prize for winning.

“So what are you worried about?”  Sasuke asked, pushing those thoughts aside for later.

“I don’t know.  Sakura’s and my test with Kakashi was a combat skill assessment.  I just… I don’t know what kind of test this will be.  I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Hn,” Sasuke went back to finishing his own food.  There was no point in worrying.  Tsunade had already basically accepted him.  Kakashi would have to have an extremely strong reason to deem him unfit.  Sasuke had a feeling this was going to be about something else, but he would have to wait to find out.

The two boys finished their meal efficiently, then took their dishes to the sink.  Sasuke washed while Naruto dried, the two deadly shinobis falling easily into a simple, domestic rhythm together without even noticing.

They each grabbed their gear, then Naruto teleported them directly to Tsunade’s office.  He had no desire to walk through the village today.  Sasuke might not mind the glares, but Naruto didn’t want to deal with them.

Tsunade looked up from her paperwork as Naruto and Sasuke appeared in her office at the appointed time.  “Kakashi arrived last night.  He will be joining us shortly.”

Naruto bit his lip and shifted slightly, showing his nerves.  Sasuke nearly rolled his eyes.  Naruto might be the strongest ninja in the village, but he still had a shit poker face.

“Why is this even necessary?”  Naruto huffed.  “Sasuke fought on our side during the war.  The decision was already made to pardon him, given all the shit that started this and his help defeating Madara.  It’s not like he’s going to learn things about us that he didn’t already know by joining Anbu.  He probably has more ‘secret techniques’ than we do at this point.”

Tsunade simply arched a brow.  “I am not worried about techniques.  Or his level of skill.”

“Then what?!” Naruto’s voice rose slightly, but the panicked note in it kept Tsunade from losing her temper.  She knew Naruto was afraid of what would happen if Sasuke somehow failed the test. “Why do we need Kakashi to assess him if you agreed that he could join Anbu?”

“Naruto,” Sasuke’s voice was low and calm.  “It’s fine.  Even you had to pass a test to be placed in active ranks.  I expected at least this much.”

Naruto fidgeted, knowing Sasuke was right but not liking it.

“Just don’t fail, asshole,” Naruto said reluctantly.

“Pft.  If they let you pass, then it can’t be that hard,” Sasuke said with a smirk.

Naruto smiled despite himself.  “Jerk.”

“Hn.”

“Ok, boys.  If you’re done playing, we need to discuss the matter of Naruto’s hand,” Tsunade stated.  “While Naruto’s body has shown remarkable stamina keeping up with damage the seal is doing, it will slowly reach even _his_ limits of healing.  We’ve been lucky that no Hyuuga has seen him over the past week to notice something is off.  The discoloration is getting more pronounced, and soon people will wonder just what sort of mission he was on that he received this type of injury.  There is also a chance that some of the supporters of the council could be familiar with the seal and might recognize its effects.  Naruto has been out of public sight mostly since he’s been with you,” she nodded at Sasuke, “But people have already begun to ask about him.  We can’t put off the second healing attempt any longer.”

She opened the door and Sai and Shizune entered.  Naruto noticed that Sai’s appraisal of Sasuke was much less hostile than it had been the other day, and he wondered about it.

“Sai.  I need you to bring Naruto up to speed on what you found out about the seal,” Tsunade’s voice gave Naruto pause, and he looked over at her.  Her face appeared calm as always, but there was a trace of worry in her eyes.

“I spent yesterday and last night looking through my notes from the last time you built the seal,” Sai began.  “And I remembered what you said about needing to ‘set it’.  I realized that the seal’s first chakra spike actually did two things.  For most people, it simply killed them by overloading their system.  But it also embedded chakra into all the cells in contacted, disrupting the natural chakra flow.  The second phase of the seal triggered those to damage the chakra networks, and the third piece drained the chakra.  In order to safely counteract the last two parts, we have to first extract the chakra from the cells that were contaminated.  Danzo had another seal that did this. He used it in torture scenarios.  It will be quite painful, and it will damage your hand quite severely.”

“Ok,” Naruto said, swallowing.  Something that Danzo dreamed up for torture purposes was likely to pretty much suck.  “But… my hand will heal then, right?”

“Yes,” Tsunade assurance was tempered by the grave tone of her voice. “Because of Kurama’s healing abilities, your hand will recover but it will likely take much longer to do so than usual.  The type of damage that this seal will inflict will be of a similar type to what you did to yourself the first time you used the rasen-shuriken on Kakuzu.  It is damage on the cellular level.”

“There’s no way to avoid it? No other approach?” Sasuke asked, his voice tense.

“Unfortunately, no,” Tsunade replied.  “The seal was very thoroughly planned out.  Danzo made sure that it would be irreversible.  It’s only the fact that Naruto has fully merged his chakra with Kurama’s that makes this even possible without killing him.”

Sasuke looked down at Naruto.  “I could look through some more books.  You could stay at my place where no one would see you. There may be less risky approaches to -”

“No.  It’s fine,” Naruto said, meeting Sasuke’s gaze steadily.  “I mean… it can’t be worse than what we went through with Madara the Juubi, so… I’ll be good.  I don’t want to delay the mission any more than it already has been.  Even the smallest leak and the people we are planning to go after would just disappear. It’s not worth the risk just to avoid a little pain.” Naruto looked over at Sai.  “How long will the extraction part last?”

“About fifteen minutes,” Sai said. He paused a moment, then added.  “It will be difficult, Naruto.  I have seen this technique applied.”

“If my hand is going to be visibly damaged for that amount of time, we will have to think of some sort of cover story to tell people,” Naruto said, trying to ignore Sai’s words as much as possible.  With torture, the anticipation was often worse than the reality.  The pain would be what it would be.  There was no point thinking about it too much in advance.

“You can tell them you got it helping Kakashi search for Yamato,” Shizune suggested.

Naruto nodded.  After the war, there had been no sign of the former Anbu captain, but there was hope he was still alive.  Kakashi had been searching, and hopefully would arrive with good news.  The idea of a cover story reminded Naruto that there was a lot of information that had been withheld from people.

“Baa-chan, if Sasuke is going to be joining active duty again, I will need to inform a few people about some of the back-story on this.  No one blames Sasuke for killing Orochimaru or Itachi,” Sasuke’s body tensed at the words, but Naruto was continuing.  “But they think he killed Danzo and attacked the kage summit for no reason, or on Akatsuki orders.  Until we explain about why he killed Danzo, they will view him as a traitor.  We agreed to keep this under wraps until we had collected all the evidence, but there has to be a way to at least bring some of this out.”

Tsunade considered.

“You cannot discuss the active part of the investigation.  There can be no hint that the trail didn’t die with the council. No one can suspect that we know there were other, more powerful people involved.”

Naruto nodded.  “I don’t need to say anything about that.  I won’t even need to tell everyone.  If the shinobi in our class accept Sasuke, then the others will likely follow along.  Sasuke never attacked the village directly, and he fought on our side during the war.  If our class accepts him, then the others will as well.”

Tsunade tapped her nail against the surface of her desk as she weighed the options.  His class would be the hardest to convince, because they had suffered the most when Sasuke had left.  But she trusted Naruto to be able to handle them.  

“Fine.  Go ahead and tell them what you need to.  But you should start first with Nara, since he is less likely to settle for a partial answer.  We might as well bring him fully on board, so he can help us strategize our next phase.”

That left only one other consideration to address.

“What about Itachi’s wish that the name of the Uchiha clan not be destroyed by revealing the coup plot and the real reason behind the massacre?”  Tsunade asked, looking at Sasuke.  He was the sole surviving member of his clan… she would leave it in his hands.

Sasuke shrugged.  He wasn’t going to make excuses for his actions.  He knew on some level that the other shinobi in the village would need to accept him if he were really going to stay, but he felt no personal attachment to them.  But he would talk to them if that was what Naruto wanted.  “Given that the war was started by Madara and Obito, I’d say any salvaging of the clan name is already long gone.  Even the Second said the Uchiha were a cursed clan.  Itachi… wanted to save something that was already lost.”

Naruto shot him a look, and Sasuke could tell that Naruto wanted to argue the point.  But he held his peace, for now.

“Very well,” Tsunade decided.  She turned back to Naruto. “You can talk with Nara while Sasuke has his evaluation with Kakashi, after you’ve recovered from the procedure.”

“But -”

“You will not be allowed to watch the assessment, Naruto,” Tsunade said firmly.  “So you might as well make yourself useful.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say more, but the doors opened and Kakashi walked in.  The silver-haired man glanced at Sasuke, but addressed Naruto.

“I heard you got yourself in trouble again, Naruto-kun.”  The slight note of concern in the older man’s voice wasn’t lost on any of the room’s occupants.

“Yeah, well… you know how I hate being bored,” Naruto grinned, but it didn’t fool either of the sharingan holders.

Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto’s head, ruffling his hair slightly, but his eyes showed concern.  He pulled down the cloth that covered his eye and looked at Naruto’s damaged hand.

“Tsunade showed me the seals that were involved in this.  It’s pretty elaborate, even for Danzo,” Kakashi covered his eye, then turned to look at Sasuke.  “She also told me that it was the information you brought back from Orochimaru’s library that helped them find a way to reverse it.”

Sasuke’s face was expressionless as he looked at his former sensei.

When Sasuke said nothing, Naruto spoke up.  “Yeah.  He didn’t sleep for like three days between the journey there and going through all the books.  Half of them were in languages I couldn’t even read.  I was totally exhausted but Sasuke just had me sleep while he -”

“Naruto,” Sasuke’s voice cut him off.  

Naruto stopped and looked over at Sasuke.

“You don’t need to do that.”

Naruto looked between Kakashi and Sasuke as the two men looked calmly at each other.  There was no sign of the relationship the two had had when they were part of Team 7.  Naruto had been jealous in the past that Kakashi had seemed to favor Sasuke, but now…

They looked at each other with cool, wary gazes.

“I was making sure that Kakashi knew what happened,” Naruto looked at his former sensei.  “After the last experiment, I was completely chakra-drained.  Sasuke looked after me until I recovered.”

Kakashi looked at Naruto, but only nodded.  “Sai told me.”

Naruto glanced over at Sai, wondering what the ninja had disclosed.  He was sure that the mice would have come to investigate once Sasuke activated his sharingan.  Sai looked at Naruto calmly, simply waiting for the procedure to start.

The tension in the room made Naruto want to scream.  He hated that there was so much swirling in the undercurrents but no one but him was saying anything.

“I think we’re ready. Naruto, let’s have you lying down from the start this time.  If you feel your chakra start to fluctuate like last time, we’ll stop immediately,” Tsunade said, motioning to a hospital bed that had been wheeled into her office for the procedure.

Deciding to temporarily shelve his frustration with his teammates (and he felt a brief surge of giddiness at the notion that Sasuke was now included in that grouping), he walked over and lay down on the cot.  Shizune and Sai took their positions on either side of his outstretched arm, while Kakashi and Sasuke both activated their sharingans and stood on the other side.

“I need you to try to save your chakra during the first phase of the procedure.  If you allow Kurama’s chakra to heal the damage as it is incurred, it will deplete your reserves and make you more at risk in case something goes wrong like last time,” Tsunade stepped up, evidently going to perform part of this procedure herself.

“I can’t usually control the healing,” Naruto said.  “Kurama just… does it.  And he’s been dormant since the battle.  I don’t know if I can keep him from doing it.”

“Try,” Tsunade said.  “Talk to him, even if he isn’t fully conscious.  See if you can get him to control it.”

Naruto nodded, closing his eyes and retreating to the place inside him where Kurama’s cage stood, the door now unlocked and open.  The familiar form of the sleeping fox comforted him. He smiled slightly at the thought of finding the ancient chakra demon comforting.  Naruto walked into the cage and gently stroked the fur just below the fox’s ear.

“Hey, old fox,” Naruto whispered affectionately.  “I got in a little bit of trouble, and I need to have someone extract some foreign chakra from me.  It’s going to damage my hand, but I need you not to heal it until it’s all over.”

Naruto bit his lip, having missed talking to Kurama.  Since he was down here sharing news, he figured there was one more important piece of information he needed to update the ancient demon about.  “And… uh… when you wake up, you’ll find out that Sasuke and I… uh… we’re sort of… together now.”

Naruto felt his cheeks heat at the stupid way it sounded.  Kurama shifted slightly in his sleep, but the ghost of a grin appeared on the fox’s face.  “Finally.  Longest foreplay ever,” the beast murmured before returning to his slumber.

Naruto couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face, as well as the relief that washed through him that the fox wasn’t angry about it.  He had been a bit worried about what he would do if Kurama really hated Sasuke.  Given the history of the Uchihas and the Bijuu, it wouldn’t have been surprising if Kurama had held a grudge.  But evidently, the old fox had seen this coming and already made his peace with it.

Naruto opened his eyes to find the other occupants of the room looking at him.  “I told him to hold off healing me for a bit.  I think he got the message.”

“Ok,” Tsunade's face was grim.  “Let’s begin.”

Sai’s face looked apologetic for an instant before he painted the seals on Naruto’s skin.

Naruto’s whole body arched up at the pain that seared into him.  When Sai had said it would hurt, he had grossly understated things.

Naruto’s jaw clenched so hard he thought his teeth might crack as he held back his shout of pain.  His eyes squeezed shut.  He knew that Tsunade and Sai had to focus.  His good hand gripped the bed, his fingers biting into the padding as he tried to keep his body calm.  He felt something warm wrap around his wrist.  He opened his eyes to see Sasuke standing beside him, looking down with concern for an instant before his Sharingan gaze went back to where Sai and Tsunade were working on his arm.

“Dobe,” Sasuke’s hand was gripping Naruto’s wrist.  Naruto’s fingers unclenched the mattress and viced around Sasuke’s wrist, returning the grip with bruising force.  Sasuke didn’t flinch, but watched grimly as the procedure continued.

“How are you doing, Naruto?” Tsunade asked tensely.

“F-fuck!” Naruto gritted out.

“Is your chakra stable?”

Naruto nodded, not able to open his mouth again without screaming.

“Focus on something else,” Sasuke’s voice was low and calm.  “The half of the pain in torture is the anticipation in your mind about the next wave.  Focus on something you can control, like breathing.  Think about each of your breaths coming in and out.  How your lungs are pushing the air with each breath.”

Naruto tried it.  It was hard at first but it got better.  He supposed Sasuke had a lot of experience in dealing with torture.  Though it was equally possible that he had been on the giving or receiving end of it.  The thought distracted him from his breathing exercise, and he felt the overwhelming pain surge up.  He drew a deep breath and forced it out, making himself stop thinking about the pain that was searing through his hand.  Fifteen minutes of this was going to be an eternity.

“Good,” Sasuke’s voice was smooth and calm.  “Just like that.  Slow, steady breaths.”

Naruto nodded and kept up the breathing exercises.

Until he passed out, which was a relief to everyone.

“Why didn’t you give him some sort of pain medication?” Sasuke asked angrily when Naruto’s eyes rolled back in his head and closed, his body going limp.

“They don’t work on him.  His body metabolizes them away.  We’d have to use a huge amount, but then it could interfere with his central nervous system and we had no way to account for how that might alter things,” Tsunade snapped back, obviously not happy with the situation any more than Sasuke was.

Sasuke looked up to see Kakashi watching him, noticing the way h hadn’t released Naruto’s arm.  Sasuke shot him a glare and they both went back to watching the procedure, monitoring Naruto for any sign of chakra instability that the sharingan could detect now that the blond was no longer awake to give them a warning if something went wrong.

Tsunade and Sai worked in silence, focused intently on the intricacy of their task.  Any mistake could have lethal effects, and they both knew it.

The tension was thick in the room as the minutes ticked past.  

“I think that’s all of it,” Tsunade said, wiping her brow.  “Sai, are you ready to do the remaining seals?”

Sai nodded a look of relief on his face that the worst part was over.  

Sasuke forced himself to not ask if they were sure they got the sequence right this time as he watched the Root nin paint a new set of seals over Naruto’s skin, then activate them.  

Naruto’s hand was dark red from the first stage of the process, with the underlying darker discoloration of the seal less visible.  But as Sai went through the incredible intricate seals, setting them in sequence this time rather than all at once, he saw the greyish color fade from Naruto’s flesh.

Sai finished the final seal, and they all stood looking down at Naruto’s still form.  Sasuke had kept his Sharingan active the entire time, watching for any small fluctuation that could signal a problem.

Tsunade lay the tips of her fingers over Naruto’s damaged skin, the green glow of her chakra penetrating the flesh as she looked for any sign of residual activity of Danzo’s seal.

“It’s done,” she breathed out in relief.  “There is no trace of the seal activity.  Naruto’s hand should heal normally now.”

Sasuke’s hand shook slightly at the relief the words brought, but the motion was covered by his grip on Naruto’s wrist.  He brushed a damp lock of blond hair that was clinging to Naruto’s face.  

“We should go,” Kakashi said to Sasuke.

Sasuke didn’t even look up, continuing to run his fingers through Naruto’s hair.  “I am staying until he wakes up.  If that means I fail the test, I don’t care.”

Kakashi watched Sasuke for a moment.  “No.  It doesn’t mean you fail.  Just come to the field when you’re ready.”

* * *

 

Naruto’s first though was that someone had taken an entire pack of senbon and rammed them through his hand.  He slowly opened his eyes, almost afraid to look at the damage.  

“Hey,” Sasuke’s voice sounded slightly rough.

“Hey,” Naruto replied, giving a half-smile as he met Sasuke’s gaze, then turned to look at his hand.

“How do you feel?”

Naruto tried to flex his fingers and winced at the burning pain that shot up his arm.  His hand was red and swollen, but the numbness was gone.  “Been better. Did it work?”

“Yeah.  Tsunade said there was no sign of any residual activity from the seal.”

Naruto closed his eyes and blew out a steady breath.  “Good.  I didn’t want to have to go through this shit a third time,” he gave a weak laugh.

Sasuke’s lips twisted slightly, but he didn’t say anything.  

Naruto’s eyes opened again, focusing on Sasuke.  “So… weren’t you supposed to be out meeting with Kakashi?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Soon enough.”

“I would have thought they would have had you go while I was still asleep and not able to get in the way,” Naruto smirked a bit

Sasuke looked off to the side.  “I’ll probably head over now.”

Naruto paused. “You… you stayed until you knew I was ok?”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.  “Don’t be dumb.  Kakashi’s always late, and I figured I might as well wait here where I could sit down rather than on the training field.”

Naruto grinned. “Uh-huh.  Sure.”

Sasuke stood, looking annoyed.  “Usuratonkachi.”

He headed towards the door, and Naruto’s grin faded.  “Hey.  Don’t fuck up.”

“Tch. Like you need to tell me that,” Sasuke scoffed before he closed the door softly behind him.

* * *

 

Sasuke walked onto the training field.  For once Kakashi was already there, leaning against a familiar post, reading a familiar orange book.  Sasuke didn’t bother to muffle his footsteps as he approached, not that Kakashi wouldn’t have been able to detect him even if he had been completely silent.  The silver-haired man looked up.

There was neither welcome nor hostility in his gaze.

Both men looked at each other in silence for a moment.  Sasuke was the one to speak first.

“I have other things I want to do today.  Do I need to try to take a bell again, or are we playing a different game this time?”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bell, tossing it up and catching it with a downward swipe of his hand. “You and I both know you could take this from me now.”

“Then why am I here?”

“Why do you think?”

Sasuke looked impassively at his former sensei.  “If it’s not to test my physical skills, then I would assume it is to test either my mental stability or my loyalty.  Which would be a waste of both our time, since I would guess I failed both those tests years ago.”

Kakashi closed his book and tucked it into his pack, giving his full attention to his former student.

“Yes.  You did.”

Sasuke accepted the indictment calmly.  It wasn’t the first time Kakashi had expressed the sentiment, after all.  The last time, Kakashi had said he would kill Sasuke for it.  He supposed this was an improvement.  Though to be fair, he’d planned on killing Kakashi back then, too.

“Then I’ll ask again.  Why am I here?”

Kakashi shifted against the post, lounging back casually.  “Because Naruto trusts you and thinks you’ll make a good head of Anbu.  And since Tsunade has already decided he will be the next hokage, she has agreed to trust his judgment on this.  But that doesn’t mean that your… loyalty and mental stability are sufficient.”

Sasuke hid his surprise.  Naruto hadn’t told him that he wanted him as head of Anbu.  They hadn’t discussed his role specifically, other than he would be made a part of Anbu and allowed to join Naruto’s current assignment around tracking down the supporters of the Council.  

“You clearly are able to work with Naruto.  But if you take that role, you will need to be able to work with the other shinobi of the village,” Kakashi continued casually.  “Starting with the members of your own class.”

“I had assumed as much.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow skeptically.  “Even given that they voted unanimously while Naruto was out of the village to kill you as a rogue nin to avoid war with the Raikage?”

Sasuke didn’t even flinch.  If anything he looked bored.  “Given that I was planning on killing them all if I chose to attack the village, I suppose it’s fair they decided to do the same.  If anyone is going to hold a grudge about that, it is more likely to be Naruto than me.  After all, I’m here talking with you, and you had decided to kill me as well.  Even after knowing why I killed Danzo.  At least they could claim ignorance.  I suppose you would say you were just following orders.”

Kakashi’s expression didn’t alter, but his visible eye showed a flash of annoyance.  “You think I wanted to kill you because of Danzo?  Or the Raikage?  I was willing to kill you because you were going to destroy the village.  I took no pleasure in the decision that I had to make at that time.  You’d joined up with the organization that had a mission statement to kill Naruto.  You were beyond reasoning at that point.  Whatever your motivations, you were willing to kill Naruto… the one person who never did anything to wrong you.  You can look down on me, Sasuke.  But if you don’t apply the same critical lens to yourself, then you’re a hypocrite.”

Sasuke didn’t deny it.  He had been over the edge of madness after he’d learned the truth too late about Itachi.  It wasn’t a place he wanted to dwell on.   “And so here we both are.”

Kakashi sighed.  “Yes.  Here we both are.”

Kakashi watched Sasuke closely.  “You don’t seem very nervous about the outcome of this assessment.”

Sasuke shrugged.  “Like you said. The Hokage and Naruto have both said they are fine with me joining Anbu and returning to active duty.  I seriously doubt that Tsunade would want to run the risk of turning me down and having me leave the village.  And…” a small, dark smirk appeared on his lips.  “I doubt Naruto would take it very well, either.  You might not trust me.  But for some reason, he does.  I won’t jump through hoops for your entertainment.”

Kakashi’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Naruto’s attachment to him, and Sasuke wondered fleetingly if his former sensei knew of Naruto’s feelings toward him.  He hoped so.  If for no other reason than it would keep the shinobi from trying to come between them.

“I want to know why you are willing to return to the village.”

“You mean, to the village that ordered my entire clan killed, playing on my brother’s love for me and his loyalty to the village to do it, and then made the man who’d put the whole thing in motion hokage?”  

“Yes,” Kakashi lazed back against the post, as though the statement didn’t bother him.  Though what Naruto had told him indicated that Kakashi wasn’t as sanguine about it as he appeared.  Kakashi had respected Itachi.  They’d been almost… friends.  

Sasuke considered not answering, but he’d promised Naruto that he’d do this.  “There are several reasons.  The simplest is that Naruto’s current assignment is one that I have… a personal interest in.  But as you know, it is an Anbu mission.  Tsunade said I’d have to join the active ranks if I wanted to be involved.”

Kakashi shifted the bell to his other hand, balancing it on the point of his index finger before catching it again in the palm of his hand.  “So after that mission is complete, you’ll leave?”

“No.”  Sasuke’s voice was completely flat.  “If I swear loyalty to the hokage, I will honor that.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.  “Oh?  And what else would keep you in the village you wanted to burn to the ground not long ago.  Once your revenge is complete, what’s left for an avenger?”

For the first time, emotion flashed across Sasuke’s face, and he looked off to where a hawk was flying away from them.  “It’s personal.”

“Hm,” Kakashi said, leaning back again against the post where Naruto had been tied so long ago.  “Tsunade said that you’re re-joining active duty was contingent on Naruto being made the next Hokage.”

“That’s right.”

“And why is that?”

Sasuke paused for so long that Kakashi wasn’t sure he was going to answer the question.  “Because he’s the only person I still trust.  If he tells me he will change the system, I believe him.”

Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise.  Sasuke wondered if Kakashi was surprised at the sentiment, or the fact that Sasuke had admitted it.

“It won’t be easy reintegrating into the village,” Kakashi warned.

“I’m well aware of the village’s ability to hold grudges.  I’m not looking to suddenly become everyone’s _friend,_ ” Sasuke sneered slightly.  “I just need to be able to work with the other members of Anbu.  If nothing else, this village is good at following orders without questioning the truthfulness or the rightness of them.”  Sasuke’s voice was tinged with bitterness, and his eyes made it perfectly clear he included Kakashi in with his statement.

Kakashi didn’t bother to rise to the bait.  He knew he’d failed Naruto as a child when the Third had ordered him to pretend not to know who Naruto was.  If Kakashi had suddenly started paying attention to some random orphan, it wouldn’t have taken long for everyone to connect the dots between the blond infant and the missing newborn of the Fourth.  Sarutobi had said that the village wasn’t strong enough to protect Naruto if an enemy village came to take the Nine Tails.  The way Pein had levelled the village had only proved that to be true.  Their best hope for protecting him was to hide him in plain sight.  What he’d learned about other decisions the Third had made now made him question that, but it was too late now.

Kakashi had done what he could from the shadows to protect his sensei’s son, but… He sighed.  He should have done more.  The two broken boys on his team had deserved more than what their village had provided them.  Though they were far from the only ones who had been damaged by the blindness of the village.

There were so many ways that Kakashi was similar to Sasuke.  The village had taken both their fathers with its unforgiving discrimination.  Where Kakashi had simply shut down his emotions, Sasuke’s had fed his need for revenge, and it had driven him to the brink of madness.

But the dark eyes trained on Kakashi now were calmer, more stable than the ones that had flared with the light of madness when he had faced Sasuke after he had killed Danzo.  Somehow, Naruto had pulled Sasuke back from that precipice.

Just like Naruto had somehow made Kakashi care about something again.

“Then you had better make sure that Naruto lives long enough to be Hokage for a long time,” the silver-haired man said, tossing Sasuke the bell.

Sasuke caught it reflexively.

The two men met each other’s gaze steadily for a moment.  The trust between them was gone, but there was an acknowledgement of a single thing, a single person, that still bound them together.  It was something they could build from.  

“I’m going to go check on Naruto,” Sasuke said finally, his voice slightly less cold than it was at the start of their conversation.  Kakashi knew it was the closest the Uchiha could manage to saying thank you.

Kakashi nodded, then pulled out his little orange book.  

Later in the day he was going to pay a little visit to a certain shopkeeper who was selling things he shouldn’t to unstable ninja.

* * *

Naruto walked slowly up to the Nara house, his body recovered enough to move almost normally, although his hand would take much longer to heal.  It was strange now, to think of the house as Shikamaru’s.  Not to have Shikaku come in and check on his son, making some dry comment about things Naruto usually didn’t understand.  The village was slowly recovering from the war, but the voids that were left behind from the dead were still gaping and painful.

He found Shikamaru out back in his yard, laying on his back looking at the clouds.

Naruto said nothing, but simply lay down next to him.  They watched the clouds in companionable silence for a few minutes.

“So is your mission finished yet?” Shikamaru asked.

“Nah… it’s gonna be a while.”

A large cloud drifted by that - to Naruto at least - looked suspiciously like a large, steaming bowl of ramen.  He realized he was putting off saying anything, because he didn’t really know where to start.

“So… do you want to start with the injury on your hand that Kurama isn’t able to heal, or do you want to talk about when Sasuke is going to re-join active duty?”  Shikamaru asked with his usual perceptiveness.

Naruto almost laughed at his friend’s bored tone.  He wondered how much of any of what he was about to say would actually come as a surprise to the man who seemed to sleep through everything but miss nothing.

“Yeah, well… they’re a little bit related.”  Naruto tried to think of the best way put it.  Of everyone in their class, Shikamaru was the one whose opinion mattered the most to Naruto.  Not only because the boy was a certified genius.  Not only because Naruto wanted Shikamaru to be his advisor when he became Hokage and would therefore also be working a lot with Sasuke.

Mostly, it mattered to him because Shikamaru was his friend.  After Jiraiya died, it had been Shika who had kept him from falling apart, helped him to cope.  He wanted Shikamaru to be able to understand why Sasuke had done what he’d done.  He didn’t know if they could all be friends, but he desperately needed them to not be enemies.  He cared too much for both men.

“Do you remember when Sasuke killed Danzo and joined the Akatsuki?” Naruto began awkwardly.

Shikamaru resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  Given how the news had hit the rookie nine like a coffin full of paper bombs, he was unlikely to forget it.  He didn’t bother to reply, trusting that Naruto was going somewhere with it.

“What if… there was a reason for it?”

Shikamaru turned his head to look at Naruto rather than the clouds.

“You said before that there was.  But Kakashi didn’t let you finish.”

“Yeah.  Well.  What would you have done if Kakashi hadn’t agreed to go with you when you went to kill Hidan and Kakuzu?”

Shikamaru didn’t bat an eye at the seemingly abrupt change in topic.

“Given that I was already sneaking out of the village to go after them before I knew he would do that, I think the answer is pretty clear.”

“And maybe you would have been declared a rogue nin, if it had taken you longer to complete your mission.  Since you had been told not to go,” Naruto stated, his voice quiet.

Shikamaru was silent a moment.

“I understand that Sasuke left the village to kill Itachi.  And his plan was to use Orochimaru to get enough power to be able to do it.  I had my team with me, because we all wanted to avenge Asuma-sensei.  But I get your point.  Itachi was much more powerful than Hidan or Kakuzu.  So it makes sense that his plan took longer to execute.  But after Itachi was dead, then it should have been finished.  If he had returned at that point, no one would have questioned him.  After all, he killed two of the most powerful enemies of Konoha.  But joining the Akatsuki and killing Danzo was different.”

“What if it wasn’t?”

Shikamaru looked at Naruto, realization dawning in his intelligent eyes.  

“Obito told me the truth, Shika.  Before Sasuke had killed Danzo, but after he had killed Itachi.  Itachi wasn’t an enemy of Konoha.  He was still on a mission.  Assigned to him by Danzo.  Approved by the council to pre-empt a possible coup attempt by the Uchiha clan.”

Naruto could see Shikamaru’s emotions conflicted with his logic.  The horror of the truth, up against the likelihood of the different scenarios, his nimble mind evaluating discrepancies in what he’d heard in the past.  Naruto filled in the details, describing his conversations with Tobi and Itachi, and the crow with Shisui’s eye.  

“You’d talked to Itachi… you believed them.  But Kakashi and Tsunade would have had you keep silent about it until you had proof,” Shikamaru looked at Naruto’s bandaged hand.  “And I’m guessing that these missions you’ve been on were looking for proof.  Which you must have found, if you’re telling me about this.”  The dark-haired shinobi’s eyes narrowed as he realized another aspect.  “But since you’re telling me this privately, there must be a reason that you’re not announcing it broadly yet.  There were others besides the Council involved in this?”

Naruto gave Shikamaru a crooked grin.  “I knew there was a reason I wanted you to be my advisor.”

Naruto outlined what he had found.  “I’ve talked to Tsunade about this.  There isn’t going to be another Council to replace the last one.  Tsunade has had pressure to form one but she has been putting it off, saying that she wants to wait until I am Hokage before decisions are made.  But she agrees with me.  I want to make a new system that won’t do this sort of shit again.  And to do that, I’ll need your help.”

Shikamaru closed his eyes, but a small smile traced his lips.  “Troublesome.”

“Tsunade has agreed that Sasuke can join Anbu, as long as he passes Kakashi’s assessment.  He is going to help me sort through the mess Danzo and the council left behind.  And the three of us are going to make sure it never happens again.”

Shikamaru’s eyes opened, no hint of laziness in them for once.  “That sounds like a good idea.”

“Gaara is doing the same in Suna.  He’ll be coming to talk to us about how we could maybe approach it together.  And maybe Temari will come with him.”

Shikamaru blushed slightly, and Naruto laughed.

“Tsunade said that if the rest of our class accepts Sasuke, then the other ninjas will as well.”

Shikamaru nodded slowly.  “They left it to us to handle our own when Danzo and the Raikage gave the kill order.  They will accept our judgement if we deem him fit to rejoin the village.”

“Do you?” Naruto asked, the naked uncertainty and desperate hope raw in his voice.

Shikamaru sighed as he met the blue gaze.  “I would have left the village to avenge Asuma with or without the Hokage’s approval.  Who am I to hold him to a higher standard than what I held myself?”

The breath Naruto hadn’t realized he’d been holding left his body in a rush.  If Shikamaru accepted Sasuke, then things would be ok.  The others would come around eventually.  And if they didn’t… well, they were not likely to work much together, anyway.  Sai was Anbu, but the rest weren’t.  Only Shino and TenTen might possibly join Anbu.  The others were already heading in other directions, or didn’t have the disposition in the first place.

“So when are you going to tell the others?”  Shikamaru asked.

“I was thinking tonight.  Assuming Sasuke passes Kakashi’s test.”

“Should we meet up at Sasuke’s place?  I don’t think they’d fit into yours.”

“No, um… we sort of trashed his place,” Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  “And mine, too.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.  This was no surprise. If anything, the surprise was that the rest of the village was still standing.  “We’ll do it at my place then.”

Naruto smiled at the ‘we’.  “Thanks.”

“When are you going to tell Sakura and Hinata?”

“What?  Tonight, along with the rest of our class.  We’ll do it all at once,” Naruto’s expression was slightly confused by the question.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.  “I mean about your and Sasuke’s relationship.”

“What?!” Naruto’s eyes widened in shock, pretty sure he hadn’t mentioned anything about that.

“Look, Naruto.  It’s been clear that you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke since we were kids.  Even Ino figured it out after you had a nervous breakdown when you heard about Sasuke joining the Akatsuki.  On top of that, there are not many reasons why Sasuke would be willing to rejoin the village that made the man Hokage who had ordered the slaughter of his clan and destruction of his brother.  Not to mention that you’ve been spending all your time in the village at his house.”

Naruto chewed his lip.  This was the topic he’d been the most unsure about how to handle.  Homosexuality was a fact of life in the village, though there were few ‘couples’ that were openly living together.  But there were also few active duty shinobi heterosexual couples living together.   Most marriages occurred in the civilian population.  Life was short and dangerous for shinobi, and most chose a more informal arrangement unless they had a clan bloodline to continue.

Which was something he hadn’t talked with Sasuke about, really.

“I think, for now, I just want to handle one issue at a time.”

Shikamaru shrugged, then went back to watching clouds.  “So we should probably go over what you’re going to say, then.”

Naruto sighed with relief.  Shikamaru was already an _excellent_ advisor.

* * *

 

Naruto walked up the steps to Sasuke’s house, trying to fight down the nerves that caused his stomach to flip-flop.  There was no way Kakashi would fail Sasuke.  Right?

He pushed the door open, not even bothering to knock.  He breathed out in relief when he saw Sasuke calmly making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen.

“So… how did it go?”  Naruto asked, his nervousness showing in his voice.

Sasuke shot him a look, then tossed the small, silver bell to Naruto.

“Like I said, Dobe.  If you could pass, how hard could it be?”

Naruto laughed, relief washing through him.  “I take it you didn’t fight, though.  So what was the test?”

Sasuke took a sip of his tea before answering.

“Loyalty and sanity.”

Naruto blinked.  “And you passed?”

This time, Sasuke threw the tea cup.

Naruto laughed, dodging the scalding projectile and walking over to wrap his arms around Sasuke’s stomach.

After a moment, Sasuke relaxed into the touch.

“We are meeting the rest of our class at Shika’s tonight. We’ll tell them just enough so they understand why you killed Danzo.”

“Hn,” Sasuke wasn’t sure how that would go, but he was willing to do it if it mattered to Naruto.

“I told Shika basically everything.  He’ll be helping us plan how to deal with the network that gave the Council its power.  He will be the only one of our group that knows the whole situation.  But we’ll tell the others about Itachi and Danzo tonight.  If they accept you, then no one else will question it.  It will make it easier to keep people from asking too many questions or raising objections.”

Sasuke nodded, though it bothered him to require anyone else’s ‘approval’.  He wasn’t expecting a warm welcome, but it didn’t really matter to him either way.  He hadn’t been friends with them before he left the village.  He didn’t expect to be now.

* * *

 

Kiba was the last to arrive at Shikamaru’s house that evening.  Akamaru bounded up and gave Naruto an enthusiastic nudge, then paused, cocking his shaggy head to one side and looking at Naruto.

“What’s up, Uzumaki?  You use a new shampoo or something?  What’s got Akamaru all confu -” Kiba cut off abruptly as he sniffed tentatively.  His eyes darted to the silent man standing beside Naruto, then widened in shock.  “Uh… ok, I’ll… I’m going to just go sit down.”

Naruto didn’t bother to think about the strange reaction from Kiba, and instead closed the door behind him then cast the seal to ensure their conversation wasn’t overheard.  All eyes were on him as he completed the seal, many seeing it for the first time.

The motion of setting the seal was awkward with his injured hand, drawing attention to it before he had really intended to.

“Naruto! What did you do to your hand?”  Sakura asked, immediately coming over to examine it.  

Naruto pulled his hand back before she could, earning a glare from the pink-haired shinobi.  

“Baa-chan already checked it out. I’m fine,” Naruto said hurriedly.  Sakura frowned, but stepped back.

A gasp from behind Sakura drew Naruto’s attention.  Hinata stood, her Byakugan activated, looking in horror at Naruto’s hand.

“Hinata,” Shikamaru’s voice was quiet, but the kunoichi caught his meaning and nodded, swallowing.  She took one last look at Naruto’s hand before allowing her eyes to resume their normal state.  But her face was tense with worry.  She had seen the nature of the damage, and knew this was no simple injury.

Naruto smiled at her weakly, not sure what to do now that things had already gotten off to such a terrible start.

“Thanks for coming.  I… I know I haven’t been around much the past few weeks.  I’ve been… on a mission.”  Naruto flicked a nervous glance at Shikamaru, who nodded imperceptibly that he should continue as they’d discussed.  “You know that Kakash'-sensei has been looking for Yamato Taicho.”

The group nodded, connecting the two statements to make it seem as though Naruto had been working on this mission, and that was how he received the mysterious injury.  

“Yeah, well… he came back with good news.  Yamato Taicho was found in an underground cavern.  They think he’s alive, though it’s a little hard to tell given what was done to him.  Kakash'-sensei is going to be leading a team to go get him.” Naruto looked over to Sakura.  “He’ll be needing you, Sakura-chan.  It’s… going to be a complicated mission to extract him from the thing that was draining his cells to make the Zetsu army.”

Sakura nodded, her expression serious.  The war had tempered them all.

Naruto could see some of the wary glances being directed toward Sasuke.  Not exactly hostile.  But not exactly welcoming.  Especially from Kiba, which confused Naruto since - as far as he knew - those two had had very little to do with each other before or after Sasuke had left the village.

“But there’s nothing secret about that mission,” Naruto began, then stopped, hesitating.

“Just get to the point, Dobe.”

“Shut it, Teme.  I’m getting there!” Naruto growled back.  The familiar banter between the two caused a few eyes to widen, but Naruto and Sasuke ignored them.  “The seal I just cast will ensure that no one can hear what I’m going to tell you.  Most of it will probably be disclosed eventually, but Tsunade wanted me to start with you, since it effects you the most.”

Naruto took another breath. “Sasuke will be joining Anbu, effective immediately.”

There was a slight reaction to the words, but no outcry of anger.  “I know that many of you considered him a traitor to the village.  What you need to know is that he didn’t attack the Hokage summit and kill Danzo for no reason.”

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, but the shinobi showed no reaction to his words.

“We have proof now that Itachi didn’t slaughter his clan on his own decision.  Danzo ordered the destruction of the Uchiha clan because they were afraid that the clan would stage a coup after being relegated to the outskirts of the village.  There were no attempt at negotiation.  The council approved the action.  They told Itachi that it was the only way they would allow Sasuke to live, if he killed the clan and allowed himself to take the entire blame.  They also told him to join the Akatsuki, so he could spy on them for the Council and let us know what they were planning.  Sasuke found out but only after… after he killed Itachi.”

There was utter silence in the room as all eyes latched onto the man they had once collectively agreed should die.

_to be continued…_

Next chapter Gaara will come to visit (just cuz I love him). There is a small chance that the next chapter might be the last one. Depends on how it goes. I just need to show the path forward that they will take. The characters are all so complex that I can't possibly do justice to Sasuke's re-integration and rebuilding of relationships even if I took 5 chapters. I am also trying to figure out how much to deal with Sakura (and Hinata, though Hinata is easier to handle for me than Sakura is). Obviously, it can't all be resolved right away. But as long as Gaara shows up, I am good. LOL

Let me know what you think! This chapter was so much work relative to the ones with just Sasuke and Naruto! *cries* this is why I avoid writing canon. All the side characters have these huge, complex back-stories that makes even simple interactions tricky.


	22. Old allies and new enemies

**Author's note:** Ok, so it didn't quite all fit in this chapter, but pretty much this is the end of the story. Thanks to Mykko_chan for reading this over, as always! *hugs her*  Next chapter will be an epilogue. ALSO: There is a poll up on my ff profile if you want to vote for which oneshot/short story you want a sequel/continuation of (e.g. massage therapy, how to avoid a speeding ticket, Getting him out of his system, …). I am going to t-try to do the one you guys pick. *fidgets nervously*

**-xXx-**

_Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, but the shinobi showed no reaction to his words._

_"We have proof now that Itachi didn't slaughter his village for no reason. Danzo ordered the destruction of the Uchiha clan because they were afraid that the clan would stage a coup after being relegated to the outskirts of the village. There was no attempt at negotiation. The council approved the action. They told Itachi that the only way they would allow Sasuke to live, is if he killed the clan and allowed himself to take the entire blame. They also told him to join the Akatsuki, so he could spy on them for the Council and let us know what they were planning. Sasuke found out but only after… after he killed Itachi."_

_There was utter silence in the large living room as all eyes latched onto the man they had once collectively agreed should die as a traitor._

"But -" Kiba was the first to speak, his expression one of disbelief. "But the Third would never have allowed that. How did Danzo do this behind the Hokage's back? He had that crystal ball, and he -"

"He knew," Sasuke stated, his voice expressing only the slightest trace of bitterness. But his eyes showed an entirely different story as he recalled the conversation he'd had with the Edo Tensei of the Third. "He didn't want to deal with it, so he left it in Danzo's hands. Just like he knew that Naruto was the Fourth's son, but he did nothing to prevent the village from hating him and making his life a living hell his entire childhood."

"Sasuke -" Naruto said warningly, but the words were already spoken.

Sasuke shrugged as he glared coldly at the guilty expressions from around the room. Naruto might never have called them to account for the way they had treated him, but Sasuke had no such compunction. His gaze rested on Sakura, who had the grace to blush, looking down.

Only Hinata and Shikamaru were still able to meet Sasuke's gaze.

"S-so… if i-it's true...," she didn't flinch when Sasuke's eyes had narrowed at the word 'if'. Instead she lifted her chin, determined to ask her question. "... then why do y-you want to s-stay here?"

Sasuke couldn't quite help the way his eyes veered slightly to Naruto before coming back to meet her gaze. No one else in the room noticed, but Hinata did. "Because the future hokage gave me his word that he was going to change the system so nothing like this will be allowed happen again." He paused and turned to look directly at Naruto, his voice softening almost undetectably. But Naruto could hear the change. "And he's a pain in the ass about it, but he has a reputation for keeping his word."

Sasuke's lips twitched slightly at the enormous grin that Naruto shot him.

Shino spoke from the back. "How do you know that it's true? That this isn't another trick somehow to weaken the village?"

Sasuke's expression closed off, but Naruto spoke up. "Tsunade Baa-chan has verified the evidence herself. The details of how it was obtained are restricted to Anbu access, but she has sanctioned this meeting. She knows what I am telling you. It is real. It happened. And the only question is whether we are all strong enough to face it, or are we going to hide from it and pretend it didn't happen."

Naruto's voice was harder than most had ever heard him, a testament to the leader he would become. He looked at his friends, seeing their expressions torn between disbelief, sympathy, and guilt. "Yes, Sasuke attacked the kage summit and killed Danzo. Yes, he threatened to attack Konoha. But try to imagine yourself in his place," Naruto turned to look at Ino and Chouji, "You were ready to go against orders with Shika and leave the village to avenge Asuma." The two met his gaze, then nodded. He turned to look at the rest of their group. "And none of you ever called them traitor. If Kakashi hadn't figured it out and met them at the gate, if he hadn't agreed to go with them, who knows what would have happened. You all could have been declared missing nins. Asuma was killed in battle. In active duty. Sasuke's clan was cut down in their beds. Itachi threatened with the life of his younger brother if he didn't comply. There was no mission they were on. Some were not even on active duty anymore. How much more of a need for vengeance would you feel if it had been your family? Or if…" he turned glancing at Shikamaru then Ino… "If they made the man who'd killed your fathers Hokage, just to keep the peace. Would you have served him? Served Madara?"

The room was silent as people took in what Naruto was saying. Aside from Sasuke and Shikamaru, the others appeared to be in shock. Naruto knew that it would be hard to go from thinking of Itachi as an insane criminal to a prodigy child whose loyalty and love for his brother was twisted and taken advantage of. Not to mention that Sasuke had gone from crazed enemy of the village to… victim of the village's dark side.

It was a lot to take in. But the war had made them all grow up, and he had faith that they would.

Sasuke's face was a mask, showing no emotion at all. He didn't look at anyone other than Naruto.

"Sasuke knows about the vote to execute him to avoid war with the Raikage. I know none of you knew about his reasons, so I understand why you felt that way. In your eyes, he was a rogue nin who had lost his way and turned to our enemies for no clear reason. But the fact is… he had a pretty damn good reason. I don't agree with every choice he made. And I'm not asking that you forget everything that happened. But I know that we would have lost the war without his help. And… and I know our village is stronger with him in it than without him. I don't expect you to make the decision tonight. But the village will be looking to you, to our class, to decide whether Sasuke should be accepted back to the village when he is reinstated tomorrow into active duty. I wanted you to know the full story before you made your decision."

Sakura was crying softly, her face stricken with guilt.

"You believed in him," Sakura spoke quietly. "Even when… when I gave up." She looked up at Naruto, her clear green eyes bright with tears.

Naruto's face pinkened as he glanced over at Sasuke, who was looking extremely uncomfortable by the close proximity to female tears and emotions.

"Tch. He just didn't want to admit that there was actually something he said he'd do that he couldn't," Sasuke looked over at Naruto, effectively cutting off the heaviness of the prior conversation.

Naruto snorted and casually threw a punch at him. "Hey! I DID it, asshole!"

Sakura watched the interplay between her two former teammates, a look of slight confusion on her face. She had gotten used to being the focus of Naruto's attention, especially if she was upset. She had forgotten how quickly Sasuke had always been able to wind Naruto up in the past.

Shikamaru sighed, and walked over to a chair. "You guys already trashed your own places. I don't want to have to clean up mine. Too much fucking work." Shikamaru sat down, looking at the rest of their group. "I talked with Naruto earlier today. As he said, I was willing to leave the village to avenge Asuma without permission, even if it had meant I was declared a rogue nin. We hunted Hidan and Kakuzu down, and we killed them. I would have attacked them anywhere if it gave me an advantage. I didn't like Sasuke much before he left, and I don't expect to like him much now, but I don't consider him a traitor. He's one of the best shinobis in any of the nations. I think we're lucky he agreed to come back."

Ino and Chouji exchanged glances. "I agree with Shika," Chouji said.

"Me, too," Ino said. "Though… I actually _did_ like Sasuke-kun before he left." She glanced slyly over at Naruto. "But I'm guessing he's still not interested in any of us girls."

Sakura looked at her sharply, and Kiba erupted into a fit of coughing.

"I agree with I-Ino," Hinata said softly, her expression slightly sad.

Lee's eyes were still wide with the shock of having one of his childhood heroes destroyed before his eyes. "I…" he began, his voice shaking somewhat. "I am deeply saddened that the Third Hokage did not protect the citizens of Konoha." He looked stricken as he turned to Naruto and Sasuke, his eyes showing a disappointed look that Naruto wished he didn't have to witness. But a small flicker of the young man's enthusiasm manage to bubble back up. "But with our combined energies, we will surely crush any such evil plots that come when we are the guardians of Konoha!"

Naruto smiled slightly, glad to see his friend's spirit fighting its way back

TenTen and Shino nodded in agreement to Lee's words, though Shino added, "But Sasuke's statement that he wants to be hokage I will not support. Why? Because Naruto has already earned that title."

Sasuke shrugged, the edges of his cheekbones tinging a slight pink despite the other shinobi's strange wording as he recalled his declaration when he had joined the battle. "That's fine. I'm satisfied with the choice of the next hokage as it stands."

Kiba nodded in what appeared to be general support, though his expression was still somewhat shocked as his gaze kept moving back and forth between Naruto and Sasuke.

Sakura drew a breath, turning to face Sasuke. "I… I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun," she said, biting her lip, remembering how she had tried to convince Naruto to give up on Sasuke, then had gone after him herself with a poisoned blade to try to kill him for the sake of the village. "I just… I didn't…"

She raised her eyes and turned to Naruto. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked him, her voice strong despite her tears. "When you found out, why didn't you tell me?"

"Kakashi ordered me not to… not until we could verify what Tobi had said," Naruto looked guilty as he rubbed the back of his head.

"But… but I was your _teammate._ I was going to _kill_ Sasuke, and I didn't even know that he..." her voice broke.

A derisive snort from Sasuke earned him a glare from Naruto, but Sakura caught the message and blushed, pulling herself together.

"Ok, so maybe… I really couldn't have killed him, even if I had been able to go through with it, but..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Naruto elbowed him sharply in the ribs, earning a slight grunt.

"Uh, yeah..," Naruto decided it was in his own best interest if he didn't show how completely he agreed with Sasuke's skepticism. "Sakura-chan, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. I wanted to tell everyone about what Tobi had said, but Kakash-sensei and Baa-chan both told me it would be too dangerous until we knew for sure. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. Not even you."

"And about the mission? Your hand?" she persisted. "I'm not just your friend, Naruto. I'm a medic nin. Your teammate. I could have helped."

Naruto sighed. He knew that Sakura's pride had always been a sore-spot for her. It wouldn't help that the rest of Team 7 had been on the mission, but it hadn't been his call. "Sakura-chan, it was an Anbu mission. You're not Anbu. Sai was the only one who knew outside of Shizune, the Hokage, and Kakashi-sensei."

She looked down again, biting her lip but nodded. She had admitted herself that when it came to Sasuke, all she could do was cry. She supposed it wasn't surprising that she hadn't been included, but she was grateful to Naruto for not pointing that out. She drew a breath and steadied herself. It was time for that to stop.

"All right. So. Now that we've all agreed we aren't going to be killing each other -" Naruto began.

"I don't remember saying I wasn't going to kill _you_ ," Sasuke tilted his head consideringly as he looked at Naruto, his expression dead serious. Except for his eyes.

The room froze, the tension instantly coming back. Naruto sighed. It would be a while before things were ok enough to joke about things. But at least it was a start. "Yeah, asshole. You tried that already, and I kicked your ass, remember?"

Sasuke snorted. "You didn't kick my ass. You just managed to stay conscious for one minute longer than I did. That's hardly _winning_."

"Whatever. Don't whine like a girl the next time we spar, because I'm gonna kick your ass even harder."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but there was a definite gleam in them. "Then we should go test that. You remember the terms we discussed earlier, right, Dobe?"

Naruto fought to keep from grabbing Sasuke's shirt and kissing him. He was pretty sure his friends weren't ready for PDA scenes yet.

Akamaru barked excitedly. Kiba looked over at them. "Oh, my god, seriously?"

* * *

There was no point in further discussion that night. The group needed time to assimilate what they'd learned, but it was clear that - while their personal opinions on Sasuke varied - their general support of having him return to active duty had already been won. Naruto released the sound-proofing seal, and the "rookie class" began to head out in ones and twos, most lost in thought, trying to process the reality of the village they thought they knew, the men they thought they'd admired, and the men they'd thought they hated.

Naruto and Sasuke had been amongst the first to leave, not wanting to force any awkward conversations too soon and give the group a chance to discuss things openly without them there.

Kiba had lingered, until it was just him and Shikamaru.

"Hey, so…" Kiba began somewhat awkwardly when Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Naruto talked to you separately, right? Before the meeting?"

Shikamaru didn't bother to deny it, though he was a bit surprised at the question coming from the dog-lover. He shrugged. "We discussed the best way to inform the group about the situation."

Kiba nodded, accepting that answer as believable and not questioning it further. Shikamaru gave an invisible breath of relief. "So… did he tell you… did you know that he and Sasuke…"

"Are lovers? Yeah. It's been pretty obvious how they felt. Even back before Sasuke left."

Kiba's eyes widened. "What?! And you don't think that it's… weird?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't really know what Naruto sees in him, but at least Sasukee's strong enough to match him. In any case, it's a good thing that Sasuke has a reason to stay. I wouldn't really want him on the other side in a battle."

Kiba blinked at that, then nodded slowly. He had always assumed that Naruto would end up with Sakura. Or Hinata, though that thought always depressed him enormously.

Lost in thought, he walked out the door of the Nara compound.

He saw Hinata standing by the gate, looking off at the path that led to the Hyuuga compound. He tried not to notice how beautiful she looked in the moonlight, the way it made her hair look like a soft, black cloud around her shoulders.

"Hey, Hinata," Kiba smiled, hoping she wasn't going to ask him if he'd seen Naruto. It was always Naruto with her.

"Hello, Kiba-kun," she murmured, then looked back over the path. Kiba watched her for a moment, wondering what was wrong. After a few moments, she spoke.

"N-Neji nii-san always would walk with me after meetings like this. It was a chance for us to talk and just spend time together. It's l-lonely with him gone," her voice was soft and melancholy. She seemed to come out of her reverie, and she looked at him somewhat hesitantly. "I was wondering if you would w-walk me home, Kiba-kun?"

Kiba just stared, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest.

"I thought you'd ask Naruto," Kiba said, wishing he could get the words back as soon as they were out.

A sad look flitted across her face. "N-no. H-he is…" she cut off, biting her lip.

Kiba's heart ached for her. He knew all about unrequited love. First she had lost Neji, now Naruto. If nothing else, he could at least be her friend.

"Sure," he said gently. "I'd love to walk with you."

He walked over to her and they headed down the path toward the Hyuuga compound together. He tried to think of something to talk about, since she had mentioned that she used to talk with Neji. But he didn't want it to be serious like he imagined Neji's conversation was. He wanted to cheer her up.

"I had heard that they had offered Jiraiya the position as Hokage before Tsunade. Can you imagine what he would have done if he had the Third's crystal ball?"

Hinata laughed slightly. "Oh, K-Kiba-kun. You're t-terrible!" But a smile on her face had replaced the sad look, and he was happy to have her scold him.

"Yeah, but can you imagine it?" he grinned. "All the women in Konoha would have to bathe with their clothes on."

She giggled, red suffusing her cheeks.

They continued to walk as he told inappropriate stories and Hinata laughed. It was the best walk he'd ever had in his life.

* * *

In unspoken agreement, Naruto and Sasuke walked back to Sasuke's place. Rather than going in the front door, Sasuke led them around to the back.

"I was only kidding about sparring tonight," Naruto said, slightly chagrined at having to admit it. "My hand's all fucked up. I could barely make the soundproofing seal."

"Idiot. I know that. We aren't going to spar."

"Then why are we going to the training field behind your house?"

"Because that's where some idiot piled all my furniture," Sasuke's dark eyes seemed somehow even darker in the night.

"All your _broken_ furniture," Naruto retorted. "Man, you really know how to pitch a fit when you're pissed."

Sasuke slanted him an annoyed glance, and Naruto thought he heard a soft snort escape the man's lips. Shortly after that Sasuke's hands flashed and fire streamed out from his lips, creating an instant inferno from the pile of busted furniture Naruto had assembled.

Naruto heard the satisfied indrawn breath from Sasuke, like a smoker taking his first drag after a week of abstinence.

"Feels good to be able to use your chakra again?" Naruto snickered.

Sasuke tried to glare, but a slow smirk appeared instead. It made him look much younger for just an instant, and Naruto wanted nothing more than to drag him close and kiss him. But he still wasn't sure what the boundaries were, so he stretched his arms over his head instead, releasing some of the tension that had gathered in his shoulders in advance of the meeting they'd had that evening.

"I suppose we should go furniture shopping tomorrow," Naruto said, watching the blaze and flexing his sore hand slightly, testing to see if the range of motion had increased at all. Frowning slightly in annoyance when it hadn't.

"Stop messing with it and let it heal," Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he turned to face Naruto fully. "I already took care of the necessities while you were with Shikamaru. I had a bed delivered today, and a kitchen table. We can figure out the rest later."

Naruto felt his pulse escalate, and he wasn't sure if it was the mention of the bed being a 'necessity' (because they'd both spent a large share of nights sleeping on the ground during missions) or the way Sasuke had casually said that they would be figuring the rest of it out together.

He ran his tongue over his lower lip, only partially from nerves.

Sasuke's eyes tracked the motion. "I want you well enough to spar as soon as possible."

There was absolutely no mistaking the desire in Sasuke's voice, especially not when he took a half-step closer, so their bodies were brushing. Naruto could feel the heat pool low in his belly. The idea of sparring full-out with Sasuke, chakra and all, made him almost growl with anticipation.

Sparring was just as intimate as sex. Combining the two would be… he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control the rapid spike of lust that went through him.

It didn't work.

Taking Sasuke's words for the invitation they obviously were, Naruto slid his good hand around to rest in the small of Sasuke's back, feeling the taut contours of the muscles there. He pulled their bodies flush together, happy to feel he was not the only one aroused by the thought of sparring together.

"So you… bought a bed, huh?" Naruto's voice was low and rough.

"Hn," Sasuke slid his thumbs along Naruto's jaw line, the pressure hard enough to remind him how easy it was to kill an opponent in this position. Naruto's eyes darkened to a midnight blue, and he grinned an instant before Sasuke's lips crushed down on his. The heat of the bonfire behind them caused their shadows to flicker and dance wildly across the darkened ground.

The sounds of their heavy breaths were lost in the crackling of the fire, their clothes hurriedly discarded into the darkness of the grass long before they even thought of trying to make it to the bed.

* * *

The fire had burned down to low embers, casting a soft, red glow over their bare, sweat-slicked skin. The night was still warm, and they felt no hurry to return indoors. Sasuke's head was resting on Naruto's shoulder, but his face was turned away from him, toward the fire. An ember popped loudly in the ash pile of what was left of the furniture Sasuke had destroyed.

"You finally had the village's full support. I'm just going to complicate that for you." Sasuke's voice was quiet. Contemplative.

Naruto shrugged, the calm intimacy of the warm night relaxing him like a drug. Nothing could bother him now. He had fought much uglier battles for acceptance at a time when he was much less equipped to do so. Any minor resistance he encountered from the villagers now would be child's play compared to that. He had friends who would stand by him now.

But even without that, he would never turn away from Sasuke just to make things easier for himself. Sasuke was worth any battle. "They'll come around. They definitely were glad enough to have you on our side in the final battle. Made your grand entrance just in time, and all that shit." Naruto's lips curved in a smile as he remembered the _feel_ of Sasuke's chakra arriving on the battle scene. And Naruto's certainty that he was there to help... to finally fight by his side.

"Hm," Sasuke said skeptically. "Shikamaru and Ino seemed fine with us, but Kiba wasn't so sure. I'm sure Hinata isn't overjoyed either."

"Huh? Us, you mean… about us… together?" Naruto felt his cheeks heat at his awkward wording. And at Sasuke's seemingly calm acceptance of the fact that they were a 'thing' to be discussed and reacted to by others. A couple? Boyfriends? The words created an almost giddy swirl through Naruto's mind. "I didn't tell anyone about us other than Shika. Well, actually he sort of told me. Do you really think the others noticed?"

"Pfft. You might be the next hokage, but you're still an idiot," Sasuke murmured, still gazing into the fire.

Naruto huffed, but there was no heat in it, and silence settled between them for a few moments. Finally, Sasuke spoke again.

"Why are you with me?" Sasuke asked, his voice barely enough to be heard through the darkness.

Naruto felt a flood of emotion at the question. Someone might as well ask him why he kept breathing. The all-consuming depth he felt for the man lying beside him was slightly terrifying in how overwhelming it was. Except it wasn't, because now Sasuke was with him. But he didn't know how to voice something like that. Wasn't ready. Possibly he knew that it wasn't fully even sane, but it didn't matter.

He hesitated in his reply. What did Sasuke want to hear? What would he accept?

"Because I can't be anywhere else," Naruto finally responded with the simple truth, his voice raw with so many emotions that he wasn't even sure Sasuke heard him.

Sasuke turned, his face shadowed but Naruto could feel the intensity of his stare. Sasuke slid one hand along the back of Naruto's head, fisting in his hair before bringing their mouths together.

Naruto's last coherent thought was that he would never let Sasuke leave. Not even in death.

* * *

The next morning, Naruto could move his hand more comfortably, and the redness had subsided to a duller shade. Kakashi arrived just after breakfast to inform them that the delegation from Suna was expected to arrive within the hour, and they were both to accompany Kakashi to the main gates to greet them. He made no comment about the sudden lack of furniture in Sasuke's home, nor the large ash pile still smoldering out behind the house.

"These are from the Hokage. It would be best if we are all dressed in uniform for today's meeting," he handed Sasuke a folded set of Anbu gear, as well as a Konoha jounin uniform. Sasuke accepted them wordlessly.

"You can choose your mask later. We'll get you tattooed later today," Kakashi held Sasuke's gaze for a moment, as though trying to read something in his expression.

Sasuke simply nodded, then turned and went to the bathroom to change.

"I stopped by your place first. You guys decided to go on a massive redecorating spree of both your apartments, or did furniture somehow just start pissing you both off?"

Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "No, um… we just… got a little carried away with some sparring at my place. And Sasuke might have been a little annoyed with me here."

Kakashi leaned back against the wall as they waited for Sasuke to change, pulling out his little orange book. "Ah, young love. Nothing shows affection like violence and destruction."

Naruto wasn't sure how to take that comment, so he went and finished his tea instead. He was looking forward to seeing Gaara.

* * *

Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto walk through the village together on the way to the gates. Naruto noticed the way the villagers' eyes widened in surprise as they noticed Sasuke was now wearing a Konoha uniform.

Naruto realized that this procession was more about Tsunade making a statement to show that Sasuke had been reinstated with full trust, rather than any sort of expectation Gaara might have about being met in person.

They arrived at the gates only minutes before Naruto was able to sense the presence of his friend. A huge grin erupted on his face as he raced out the gates to meet him.

"Gaara!" Naruto launched himself at the stoic Kazekage, giving him a huge bearhug. His body guards didn't even flinch, having gotten used to the loud Konoha nin's unusual familiarity with their terrifying leader in his frequent visits in the intervening months after the war.

Gaara awkwardly patted Naruto's back before the blond ninja finally stepped back.

"It is good to see you, Naruto," Gaara's voice was low, but the warmth was unmistakable. "I had hoped you would have stayed longer during your last visit."

Gaara was still awkward with physical affection, but his face was soft and his eyes looked at Naruto with warmth and trust.

Sasuke had followed Naruto partially outside the gates, his face schooled into a mask, but his eyes sharply focused on the two men embracing.

He looked over and saw one of the kunoichi guards was watching the scene with an expression of sadness and… longing. It appeared that the Kagekaze had at least one admirer in his group.

"We should go and meet Tsunade," Kakashi spoke finally, interrupting the reunion. "We have business that can't wait."

Gaara's eyes met Kakashi's, then moved on to Sasuke. The green eyes froze for an instant as he took in Sasuke's uniform. Naruto and Gaara walked forward, catching up to Sasuke and Kakashi as they entered the village gates.

"Your eyes have changed, Uchiha," Gaara said as he walked alongside Sasuke briefly. He spoke softly, so only the two of them could hear. "And I think for the same reason."

Sasuke said nothing, but turned and headed towards the Hokage tower, lengthening his stride to catch up with Naruto, who was talking to Temari animatedly about something.

A tiny smile appeared on Gaara's lips as he looked from Sasuke to Naruto. It was perhaps a bit wistful, but it was sincere nonetheless.

* * *

They assembled in the Hokage's office, around a large, oval table. Tsunade dismissed the Konoha and Suna guards from the room as Shikamaru, Kakashi, Sasuke and Gaara took their seats. She immediately created the seal to prevent any sounds from the room from escaping.

"Where is Sai?" Naruto asked, looking around the room.

"He's been going through the seal research, trying to see if there is a way to diffuse the traps safely so this won't happen again if Danzo laid more surprises in the documents."

Naruto sighed, knowing his friend was likely feeling guilty for his injury. He'd have to find him and reassure him that he was fine, and that none of it had been Sai's fault.

"I assume you found what you were looking for, Naruto," Gaara said, looking directly at him.

Naruto nodded tensely, walking over to join them at the meeting table. "Yeah. Sai and I found a hide-out that Danzo's followers either forgot about or didn't know about in the first place. None of the documents were destroyed."

Gaara arched a hairless brow. "And I am assuming that - since you invited me here - there were members of the Sand on that list."

Naruto glanced at Tsunade, who nodded.

"Yes," Naruto answered. "There were names from every nation on the list. It was as you'd suspected. There is a network linked to the Daimyo that supported the councils of most of the hidden villages."

"A fallback, in case any of the kage ever went against the Daimyo," Shikamaru said slowly, realizing the import of that. This would be no easy adversary. Direct confrontation with the Daimyo would lead to civil war, which no one wanted.

Sasuke's body was in utter stillness as Shikamaru's words soaked in. "So… the people who were behind the Council were… the Daimyo?"

"Not them directly," Tsunade said brusquely, laying a scroll on the table. "These are the names of all the key people, transcribed from the book that Naruto discovered. They are not the Daimyo directly, but generally senior advisors or other wealthy, connected supporters. From some of the documentation we've seen, the Daimyo themselves were not aware of this. The group seemed to fear discovery by the Daimyo almost as much as discovery by that Kage."

"They were playing both sides?" Naruto asked.

"We don't know," Tsunade replied.

"The information Danzo had was only about the council's communications with them. So it would only show their interference with the Kage's. We'd have to look somewhere else to try to find what they did on the other side. If they did anything," Kakashi stated, watching Sasuke's reaction carefully.

Shikamaru, Gaara, and Sasuke read through the names on the list. The others had already seen them.

"Not untouchable. But close," Gaara murmured, recognizing many of the names. Some were surprises. Some were not.

"So you understand why word of the existence of this list cannot ever come out," Tsunade said levelly, eyeing each man in the room to make sure the risk was understood. "Which is why we are not involving the other kage at this point."

Shikamaru steepled his hands, staring at the list, his nimble mind already turning the problem over, seeing the risks and benefits of different approaches. "Naruto will immediately become a target if he refuses to allow the formation of a replacement council," Shikamaru didn't lift his gaze from the names on the list. "These men will not allow their power to be diluted. They will try to convince Naruto to re-build it. And if that doesn't work -"

"They will try to have him assassinated, and replaced with a more malleable Hokage candidate," Kakashi stated calmly.

Sasuke's head jerked up sharply at Kakashi's words. Naruto didn't seem to react, likely already aware of this. Sasuke's eyes met Kakashi's as understanding flashed between them.

"Yes, Sasuke. This is why I invited you to this meeting, now that you have passed Kakashi's assessment," Tsunade's voice was deadly serious. "Kakashi and I had been discussing how to best manage Naruto's security. Naruto won't be sworn in as Hokage for another year, most likely. But he already has started to get the attention of some dangerous, powerful people by delaying somewhat in allowing the formation of a new council. If it becomes clear that he knows about this group, or that he is going to try to change the system…"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto, who was looking slightly annoyed at Tsunade. "Geez, Baa-chan. I don't need a fucking babysitter. There's a reason I'm going to be Hokage. I'm not that easy for a bunch of spoiled, rich guys to kill off - AHH!"

Naruto yelled as a needle of sand scratched along his back.

"Gaara, what the fuck!" Naruto rubbed his back, his hand coming away with a little bit of sand and a little bit of blood.

"You can't watch your back all the time," Gaara said calmly.

Naruto glared at him. "I'm sort of assuming that since you agreed to disband Suna's council once we knew what we were dealing with, that you WOULDN'T BE THE ONE ATTACKING ME!"

Gaara's lips twitched into a smirk. "Actually, that was Shukaku. He knows Kurama is still half asleep, and wanted to mess with him a little. But the point is still valid. You and I are both going to be targets. I have four bodyguards that travel with me at all times. You will have the Uchiha."

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but Gaara cut him off again.

"I would have thought that you would be pleased with that arrangement."

"If you wish to have Sasuke assigned to some other task, I could have him take over the intelligence-gathering division of Anbu. He's spent more time in other nations than any of our other Anbu. He'd be an asset there, and we could find others to be your bodyguards," Tsunade said looking calmly at Naruto.

Naruto struggled. He didn't really want _anyone_ assigned to be his bodyguard. He didn't want someone dying for him. Especially not Sasuke. But Sasuke could just as easily die gathering information on an enemy. Like Jiraiya had. If Sasuke were given the mission of guarding Naruto, then they would at least be together. And Naruto could guard him right back.

"Of course, if it's not Uchiha, then we'd probably need at least three or four guards, just as Kazekage-san does," Tsunade said, flipping through her personnel files as though looking for names for candidates.

"Stop being stupid, Dobe. If you want to change the system, you have to live long enough to actually do it. I'm going to be your guard. No one else is qualified."

Naruto bit his lip, looking around the table at the faces waiting for him to accept the inevitable. Grudgingly, he nodded. "Fine, bastard. But if you get killed trying to protect me, I am totally kicking your ass."

"Tch," Sasuke's lips twisted slightly. "They couldn't kill me before. I'm not going to let them kill me now."

"Then it's settled," Tsunade said brusquely. "That brings us to the more difficult task of how we begin to go after them."

Sasuke's fingers twitched slightly. None of the highly trained shinobi in the room missed it.

"We can't simply kill them all," Shikamaru said, glancing surreptitiously at Sasuke, knowing it would likely be the man's preferred approach.

Sasuke raised a brow, clearly viewing that fact as very unfortunate.

"It would be too obvious, and would only serve to justify the fear that some of the Daimyo have about the risks of the Kage structure. We need to weaken and discredit them. And strengthen diplomatic ties between the Kage and the Daimyo at the same time."

Gaara frowned slightly. "We should be able to make a move on two or three of the names without raising suspicion, but by the time we get further down the list, they will know our game and either go into hiding or launch a counter-attack."

"The bigger risk is that they will disappear. We can likely handle any counter-measures, because we'll be watching for them," Sasuke stated.

Shikamaru nodded slowly. "But there's really no way to prevent them going into hiding. If we assign surveillance, we're only likely to tip our hand early."

Kakashi shifted, looking at Naruto. "You've managed to learn the Hiraishin no jutsu, right Naruto?"

Naruto nodded. "But I'd still need to know where…" he trailed off, his eyes widening.

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "Exactly. The Fourth had marked each of the members of his team with his seal, in case we needed his help in battle. Obito hadn't realized the seal was permanent, because it isn't visible except when it is activated."

"The placing of the seal takes less than two seconds. All I'd have to do is brush against them, and we'd have them marked for whenever we were ready. There would be no way they could escape us," Naruto looked up to meet Sasuke's gaze, excitement flashing in his eyes.

"It would also serve as a fallback," Gaara looked at Naruto, who only looked at him blankly.

Sasuke understood the implication immediately. "Yes. It's the perfect assassin's mark. You always come from the back, at a time when they least expect it. There would be no warning, and the attacker would be able to escape almost instantly by teleporting back to a safe location. There would be no evidence, no trail to follow."

Shikamaru saw Naruto's discomfort with that approach and intervened. "But that would only be as a last resort. Remember, we're trying to avoid a civil war. Not start one."

Tsunade nodded. "Then we're agreed. This will be a multi-year effort. If we move too quickly, we will expose ourselves. We'll have to create two task forces. Sai will be in charge of doing intelligence work to gather what we can on each target. We can pair him with someone from Suna of your choice," she nodded to Gaara. "Sasuke and Naruto will be in charge of locating and marking each target over the next six months. If you wish for someone from the Sand to join their team, I will be open to discussion."

Gaara nodded. "That is acceptable. Naruto can represent the Sand as well as the Leaf. I have no need to add another member to the team."

Sasuke's eyes widened fractionally in surprise at Gaara's statement. The level of trust between the Kazekage and Naruto was… unusual. He glanced quickly at the others around the table, noticing that none of them seemed to be even slightly surprised by Gaara's declaration. Kakashi noticed his expression and smirked.

Sasuke frowned slightly, but Tsunade was continuing.

"Very well. Shikamaru will be in charge of sorting through all the information we receive from Sai's team, and he will coordinate with Naruto and Sasuke on which targets have been located and tagged. He will then create a plan for bringing this network down without arousing the suspicion of the Daimyo. Is there someone from the Sand you wish to have work with Shikamaru?"

Gaara looked at Shikamaru for a moment. "I believe Temari will be a good partner for him in this effort. She accompanied me to Konoha. I will debrief her then have her meet with Nara to discuss the mission further."

Naruto noticed the way Shikamaru's hand had stilled at the mention of the Sand kunoichi's name. He snickered. "Just don't get distracted, Shika."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes slightly at Naruto, though a slight blush etched along his cheekbones. "Like you're one to talk, Uzumaki."

Tsunade's nails clicked against the table with slight impatience. "Alright kids. We've settled what we can for now. When Sai gets back with his reports on the seals, I'll send him to debrief you directly on what he's found. He can then accompany you back to Suna to meet with the person you wish to partner him with on this mission. In the meantime, we can begin tracking the names on the list immediately. We can't do anything until we locate them. I don't need to remind anyone in this room that there can be no mention of this list or any of our activities. This is an Anbu mission."

The men nodded in acknowledgement of her order, understanding the implications of that statement. There could be no leaks.

They stood as the meeting adjourned. Naruto walked over to Gaara, talking animatedly about the new teleportation jutsu he'd learned. Gaara's lips curved up in a slight smile at his friend's excitement.

Sasuke watched the two, seeing the way Naruto coaxed Gaara into laughing. How he seemed not to mind Gaara's cold, lethal demeanor. The clear trust and respect between them was obvious to anyone who looked at them.

"Naruto and Gaara have been extremely close ever since you left.  Gaara and his siblings came to help on your 'rescue' mission," Kakashi supplied helpfully from directly behind Sasuke, his eyes not lifting from his little orange book. "In fact, when the Akatsuki captured Gaara, Naruto was the first to go after him. Despite the fact that the Akatsuki was also hunting Naruto down at the time. Oh, I forgot. You would have known all about the Akatsuki's objectives, wouldn't you?"

Sasuke didn't show any outward reaction to Kakashi's comment. "I never tried to hunt Naruto down."

Kakashi shrugged. "Maybe not. But you joined an organization that was doing so. Anyway, Naruto saved Gaara's life. Or I suppose, more accurately, he helped Granny Chiyo resurrect him using his and Kurama's chakra. After dealing with Deidara and Sasori."

"I killed Deidara," Sasuke said flatly.

"True, true," Kakashi nodded agreeably. "We thought we had as well, but he was a sneaky bastard."

Sasuke blew out a breath. That battle had been close. It made him wonder slightly what Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo were doing; what had become of them after the war. He wondered if they'd settled somewhere, or were looking for him. Or if they had gone back to work for Orochimaru.

"Gaara trusts Naruto. And he understands him. They are both Jinchuuriki. Gaara's village treated him about the same as Konoha treated Naruto. Maybe a bit worse."

Sasuke wasn't sure where Kakashi was going with this. "Naruto and I understand each other as well."

Kakashi shrugged, turning a page in his book. "That's what Naruto always claimed. I just hope he's right. He is trusting you to have his back. Quite literally. If you're not really up for that, you need to tell me now."

Sasuke's eyes didn't stray from Naruto. The sun had passed its zenith, and the light now flooded in through the window, making Naruto's hair almost glow. "No. I will be the one to guard him."

As if feeling the weight of his gaze, Naruto turned. His eyes warmed as they met with Sasuke's. He arched a brow in question at the serious expression on Sasuke's face.

Sasuke shook his head slightly, indicating they'd discuss it later.

Naruto smiled before he turned back to finish his conversation with Gaara.

Sasuke's resolve firmed. He hadn't been able to protect his clan or his brother. But he would protect Naruto. He relaxed slightly. He needed to start training again.

They would need to start locating their targets right away. Every day that went by was another day that the hideout could be discovered and word leak out that documents had been taken.

Tsunade had given them six months, but if he and Naruto pushed hard, they could do it in half that amount of time.

He felt the familiar adrenaline pump through him at the thought of the dangerous odds.

And this time, he would face them with Naruto.

* * *

**The end.**

A/N: This is basically the end of the story, but there will be an epilogue with a time-skip to have the last critical event needed to really tie this story off (I bet you can all guess what that will be). I think it will end up being short, but we all know how bad I am at judging those things. This story was about Naruto and Sasuke getting together, and starting a life together. Which has now happened. Continuing on would require a whole separate story how they re-engineer the political system of the ninja world, which… would be a lot of work LOL. But I do want to write a couple of smutty oneshots in this universe, so stay tuned for that.


	23. Epilogue - Honoring the Dead

**Warning:** This chapter broke me. I don't even know what to say.  Holy shit, canon is depressing. I am off to write on Daily Ramen and cheer myself up.

 **Author's note:** This chapter is meant to show - in flashbacks - how the next seven years go for our boys. Given the events of the manga, there is no way to make this a fully 'happy' ending. Bittersweet was as close as I could get.  Thanks to mykko_chan for letting me sob uncontrollably on her shoulder.

**-xXx-**

**Epilogue - Honoring the dead**

The Sixth Hokage stood in the small clearing just outside the village, his white robes billowing slightly in the autumn wind that had picked up as evening approached. In front of him was a large stone, flanked by two smaller ones. A kunai had been driven in the top of each stone, and chakra wire connected the three blades.

It was a quiet place, despite the man it honored. But it was a place where the Hokage could often be found when he had things on his mind. His gaze rested on the single kanji he'd carved in the main stone: _Teacher_. The book was gone, likely the wind or rain or animals had carried it off. Strangely, the flowers that Konan had given him remained, despite the passing of their creator.

"Well, Ero Sennin," he crouched in front of the grave, not caring that his robes were brushing the dirt. "You wanted to make a difference. To stop the cycle of hatred. I don't know if that can ever be totally possible, but we put a hell of a dent in the wheel."

He stayed there for a while, thinking back to all the times his teacher had pushed him, all the ways that he had guided him. Tan fingers brushed over the top of the central stone. He would not dwell on the fact that the man was no longer physically present to see this accomplishment. It was enough that he had been the one who set it in motion, and given Naruto the tools and the vision to go after it.

Tonight… tonight they would finally put an end to a story that had damaged so many. Especially the man he was waiting for. He wondered how Sasuke would feel when he returned from this final mission. He hoped it would finally bring him some measure of closure, if not peace.

Naruto's eyes were shaded with orange, indicating he was in sage mode… an 'order' from the head of his personal guard, whenever the man was called away from his side for a mission. He let his senses stretch, seeking the slightest sign of his lover's approach, but there was only the village behind him.

That was ok. Sasuke still had a few hours before he would technically be 'late'. And the mission had been hard. Naruto would wait, and remain in sage mode as directed.

A small smile ghosted across the Rokudaime Hokage's lips as he recalled the issuance of that order seven years ago.

* * *

_Sasuke and Naruto had finally marked all the targets across six nations that had been pulling the strings of the councils in the Hidden Villages. Sai had gathered enough evidence to have the first target on their list arrested by the Daimyo for treason on an unrelated, foolish action by the man. Shikamaru had determined that it would be a safe first move for them to make, as it was unlikely to tip the other targets off or be traced back to them. But the evidence needed to be seeded and planted carefully, including a critical document that needed to be placed on the man's person._

_It was a dangerous mission, and the newly installed Hokage had wanted to do it himself. But the head of his personal guard had adamantly refused._

_"Dobe, you are the Hokage now. You are not supposed to be doing missions unless there is no one else who can accomplish the task," the Anbu wearing the hawk mask stated bitingly._

_"Fuck you, Teme. You report to me now. You are supposed to do what I say, not order me around! I'm the only one who can use the teleportation jutsu. My seal is on the target. I run the least risk of getting caught."_

_"Tch. Not all of us need to rely on space-time jutsus to avoid getting caught. If anything goes wrong with this mission, they have the Hokage in their hands, and Konoha on its knees. It's a stupid risk. Especially when I am completely capable to do this mission. You can't keep trying to do everything by yourself."_

_Naruto felt his stomach tighten. He could hear the echo of Itachi's words telling him the same thing. But it was hard. He had never wanted others to take risks if he could at all avoid it. But especially not if they came as a direct order from him to the man he loved._

_"Itachi said something similar to me once," Naruto admitted quietly._

_Sasuke's eyes and flickered with an emotion that was gone before Naruto could read it._

_"Sasuke. Please, let me do this."_

_Sasuke didn't relent. "This is what it means to be Hokage. You have to give the orders for others to do the missions unless there is no one else."_

_Naruto looked almost helplessly as Sasuke had lowered his Anbu mask, covering his features._

_"I will be back in one week."_

_Naruto eventually nodded. "Fine. But if you aren't here in one week and three seconds, I am coming after you."_

_Naruto had expected him to disappear immediately on his mission, but Sasuke hesitated. "Juugo will be taking over my duties as your guard."_

_Naruto looked at him oddly. They'd already discussed this. Juugo had found Sasuke six months after the war had ended, and asked to join Konoha and serve with Sasuke. Karin and Suigetsu had both settled elsewhere, but Juugo had preferred to stay with Sasuke, where his rages could be controlled. Tsunade had begun working on a medicine that he could take as a pill when he felt the rages building up. He was now relatively stable, as long as he had his meds on him. The 'cure' had only taken three months to develop. Orochimaru clearly had only been interested in spreading the 'curse', not curing it, and Konoha had earned Juugo's unwavering loyalty._

_"Yeah," Naruto frowned slightly in confusion. On anyone else, he would have called the look in Sasuke's eyes 'worry'. Of course, that was ridiculous._

_"If even the slightest hint of what we are doing gets out, they will come for you immediately," Sasuke said finally._

_Naruto laughed. "Yeah. So don't fuck up. Not to mention I'll kick your ass if you get yourself killed."_

_The words were said lightly, but both men knew there was nothing light about the sentiment._

_"I want you to be in sage mode while I'm gone."_

_Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're going to be gone for a WEEK. I'm not going to stay in sage mode for a week with no sleep."_

_The serious expression on Sasuke's face told Naruto he wasn't budging. "You can have clones go into sage mode for you. I've seen you do it. You'll be able to sense an enemy approaching, even if they send a civilian with poison rather than a shinobi."_

_"You don't trust Juugo?" Naruto asked seriously._

_Sasuke shifted very slightly in an extremely uncharacteristic show of nerves. "He's not me."_

_"Sasuke, if you're nervous about the mission -"_

_"Naruto. Please, just -" Sasuke drew a breath. "Just do it."_

_Naruto's eyes widened. He wasn't sure he'd ever heard Sasuke say please before. Not in that way._

_"O-ok. I'll stay in sage mode. But then I need you to do something for me," Naruto bit his lip slightly, not sure how Sasuke would react to what he was about to ask. Naruto held out his hand, turning his palm up. He concentrated his chakra into his hand in the form of the seal he used for placing the teleportation mark. Sasuke's sharingan swirled, and Naruto knew that the man was able to see the form of the chakra gathered on the surface of his palm. "I want to be able to find you. If something goes wrong."_

_Sasuke's body tensed. Naruto was asking to place a permanent marking on him, well beyond the Anbu tattoo._

_"My father placed his seal on the people he wanted to protect," Naruto said quietly. "I know there are no guarantees for Shinobi. But I can at least come get you if you're captured. Regardless of the security level."_

_"I'd never let myself be captured."_

_Anbu were never supposed to be taken alive in battle. It was why the memorial stone had been created… too many times there were no bodies to be recovered. Only a name that never returned home._

_"Dammit, Teme! Just let me do this. I could make it an order."_

_Sasuke's eyes looked at him steadily from behind his mask. "But you won't."_

_Naruto blew out a frustrated breath. Of course, Sasuke would call his bluff. "No. I won't. I'm asking. Not ordering."_

_Sasuke hesitated a moment, then rolled up his sleeve, baring his forearm. "Fine."_

_Naruto would rather have marked Sasuke's back or chest, since arms could be lost in battle. But he wasn't going to argue at this point. He quickly placed the seal, letting his hand linger slightly more than necessary over Sasuke's skin. He wished he could pull the man back to their bed and keep him there. Safe. But it wasn't going to happen. They were finally able to strike a blow against the shadowy puppet masters they'd been chasing. Neither man wanted to delay any further._

_"Ok, get your ass moving. And don't take too long. I'm going to be completely exhausted when you get back," Naruto pretended to look annoyed. It didn't fool either of them._

_Sasuke nodded, then turned and disappeared into the night._

* * *

It had become an understanding between them. When Sasuke had to leave on other targeting missions, Naruto would remain in sage mode until he returned. His stamina and chakra control had improved through the years, allowing him to rest while maintaining clones in sage mode.

Twice, Sasuke had failed to return and Naruto had gone to find him. The first time, it had simply been due to the target being unexpectedly out of town, requiring Sasuke to spend more time tracking the man down.

The second time, though… Naruto drew a slow breath, forcing himself to be calm. Sasuke had avoided capture, but he had been gravely injured. Naruto closed his eyes, forcing out the image of Sasuke covered in blood, his breathing shallow, resting in a small cave. Naruto had picked him up and teleported them directly to the hospital back in Konoha.

Sasuke had stabilized in only a few days, with proper medical care. It had taken Naruto a lot longer to deal with the fact that he could just have easily teleported to find Sasuke's dead body. It was something that he knew they should both be prepared for, but somehow, Naruto knew he wasn't. For the first time, he understood his father's choice to not save himself when he could have, when he knew that his wife was dying.

Naruto realized he would possibly make the same choice. It wasn't a comforting thought.

The next mission involved executing a complicated plan (courtesy of Shikamaru) involving three targets simultaneously. Sasuke was still not up to full strength, and Naruto had flat-out refused to let him do the mission, leaving himself as the only other shinobi with sufficient skills to manage it. Tsunade had agreed to stand in for him as Hokage while he undertook the mission himself. He had simply told Sasuke that the timing was critical, before teleporting directly out of their home.

Naruto had returned three weeks later to an extremely pissed off Uchiha. Their house had been in almost as bad shape as when Sasuke had torn it apart looking for drugs long ago. Naruto had also seen some empty sake bottles that he chose to temporarily ignore.

Naruto still remembered the words Sasuke had spoken to him that evening. The first words his lover had spoken to him when he walked in the door.

* * *

_"I'm resigning as head of your personal security. I will take the other role Tsunade had offered, gathering intelligence in other lands."_

_Naruto froze, not sure how to respond. "You're… leaving?" It felt as though his whole world had just been pulled out from under him._

_Sasuke observed him for a moment. "I'm not leaving for good. I will come back and report my findings periodically."_

_Naruto knew he could demand that Sasuke stay as his personal guard, but it felt wrong to do so. He sat down, the exhaustion of the mission combining with the shock of Sasuke's resignation._

_Naruto said the only thing he could think of that might make Sasuke change his mind. "You will not be able to participate in the targeting mission anymore."_

_He swore that the windows shook as Sasuke's temper snapped. "You think that's what this is about? I don't give a fuck about the mission right now! You were gone for a month, Naruto. A month, and we had no way to know where you were or if you were ok. I had no way of knowing. You gave me the job of protecting you, but you won't let me actually do it!"_

_Naruto blinked. Sasuke couldn't possibly mean that Naruto was more important than Sasuke getting his final revenge. He hadn't even finished processing that thought before he found himself pinned to the floor. Sasuke's eyes held a look that Naruto hadn't seen since the man had first returned to the village… a blend of anger and desperation, with an edge of madness._

_"Sasuke… what the fuck? I'm exhausted. I haven't slept more than two hours a night for almost a month. I come back and the first thing you tell me is that you're QUITTING, and -"_

_Sasuke cut his words off, his mouth crushing down on his brutally. Naruto's head was spinning, in a volatile mix of confusion, exhaustion, lust and desperation._

_Sasuke didn't let Naruto up, but he lifted his lips just enough to ask. "Do you want me to stay?" His breath brushed over Naruto's mouth._

_"I've always wanted you to stay, Sasuke. How can you even ask me that?"_

_"Then never do this again. If you go on a mission, I go with you. I can't keep you safe if I'm not there."_

_"Sasuke. We're shinobi. Risk is part of the job description. You of all people know that," Naruto's voice showed honest confusion. "No one would blame you if I were killed on a mission."_

_Sasuke's fingers tightened and bit into Naruto's arms. "I will not let you die. You either agree to my condition, or I am resigning."_

_Naruto felt a surge of almost dizzying relief at the words. There was a way that he could keep Sasuke… a way to prevent him from leaving. "Yeah. Yes. If that's what it takes for you to stay, then, yes."_

_Sasuke had kissed him again, still harshly but somehow softer, too._

_"You told me before… we'd die together," Sasuke panted. "And you have to keep your word."_

_"I will," Naruto replied, his hands digging into the spiky locks of Sasuke's hair, drawing him down. "We will."_

* * *

Naruto held tight to those words.

This mission had been the final one. Their two final targets needed to be taken out at the same time, but one was in the Land of Iron and the other in the Land of Lightning. Sasuke and Naruto had agreed to each take out one target, coordinating on the timing. It had to be perfect, since both targets had by now realized that someone had been picking members of their group off one-by-one, and they had their defenses ready.

Naruto had returned the day before. Sasuke was due back tonight.

It took all of Naruto's self-control to avoid teleporting to his lover, but they had agreed that - to minimize risks of being discovered - Naruto would only do so if Sasuke failed to show at the appointed time. They were so close to finally achieving what they had worked years to accomplish. They couldn't let it fall apart now.

Naruto wondered how it would change things, when it was finally over. If Sasuke would change. If he would finally be able to let go of the past.

Of course, there would always be enemies, always be someone trying to grab power. But it would take decades for the network of influence and secrecy that they had finally dismantled to be built again.

Naruto watched as the sun began to set, slipping slowly down behind Hokage Mountain. It was strange to see his own face carved on the same cliff where he had spent so much time vandalizing as a child. His face now sharing the mountainside with his father and the other past hokages.

He shook himself. Tonight would hopefully mark the end of dwelling on the past. Finally, he hoped they'd be able to think about the future… something not tainted with so much pain and darkness.

He wondered if Sasuke would finally make his decision on whether or not to resurrect his clan. It was an option that they had only discussed once, but he was sure it still weighed on his friend.

* * *

_Sai had discovered another hideout that Danzo had not destroyed before his death. But instead of housing documents, it had housed something much more horrific. Shikamaru, Kakashi, Tsunade, Naruto and Sasuke had been seated in the Hokage's office when he came to give his report._

_It had been the repository where Danzo had stored the remaining eyes of the Uchiha clansmen after the massacre. Dozens and dozens of jars, carefully preserving the power he had coveted of the clan he had destroyed._

_Naruto had been horrified, his eyes immediately going to Sasuke's, fearing that the man might become unhinged at the revelation. But Sasuke had simply listened to Sai's account of what had been found, his face impassive._

_"Obito also had several 'back-up' eyes in storage," he stated calmly. "It was a way to mitigate the risk of being a sharingan-holder and losing his sight."_

_"Sasuke -" Naruto began, but cut off when Shikamaru stirred._

_"Based on Sai's report, the eyes were all perfectly preserved. Likely so Danzo could replace any of the eyes he used on his arm," Shikamaru stated carefully, looking first to Sasuke, then to Tsunade. "That would mean the DNA inside them is perfectly preserved."_

_Naruto frowned, not following the line of thinking. Sai, however, had no such problem._

_"It would be fitting if the man responsible for destroying the Uchiha clan were also responsible for its resurrection."_

_Sasuke stiffened as Tsunade slowly nodded. "Yes. With this amount of genetic diversity, we could easily revive the clan. Assuming we could find enough surrogates in the village qualified to carry them."_

_"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, his eyes searching Sasuke's face for some sign of how he was handling this discussion._

_"It is a simple matter to extract DNA from an existing egg and replace it with other DNA. The notion of a single person reviving a clan is impossible. The DNA would be too diluted, and would require too much inbreeding to make it work. But with this, we have over a hundred different variations of Uchiha DNA. We could combine them to provide a pure bloodline, with enough diversity to sustain itself. There would be no need for 'outside' DNA. But the decision to do so would need to come from the current head of the clan."_

_All eyes turned toward Sasuke._

_Sasuke looked directly at Naruto, their gazes locked for several moments. The slight panic, longing and uncertainty that Naruto read in the black depths made him ache for the last Uchiha. It was a way to bring the people he had loved back from the dead, in a certain sense… to allow their legacy to continue. But it was a legacy that had contained much pain and violence. Sasuke had decided before that he would not have children of his own. After everything he had experienced, he agreed with the Second that the Sharingan bloodline was a curse, its power too tainted by the mental instability that gave it birth. But that had been at a time when he had only considered the option of having a child or two of his own. Not reviving an entire clan._

_"Baa-chan, he's seventeen fucking years old!" Naruto erupted. "You can't put something like this on him right now!"_

_Tsunade sighed, wishing they lived in a world where children were allowed to act their age, rather than being forced to kill by the time they were twelve, and make decisions like this before they were even old enough to drink._

_"He doesn't have to make it immediately. I will examine the nature of the preservative used. If it is a high quality one and kept in a controlled environment, we may have five or even ten years where the DNA can remain viable," she said._

_Sasuke nodded, still looking at Naruto. "We'll think about it." He turned and looked at Tsunade. "If we do this, I want to first explore if there is a way to minimize some of the side effects of the sharingan."_

_She considered this for a moment. "Then I would need to take some samples to study them, and see if I can isolate some of the causes for the side effects."_

_"Would it be possible to take a sample from my eyes, without damaging them?"_

_Naruto's eyes flare wide at the question. Was Sasuke considering raising… Itachi's child?_

_"Yes. It is a simple procedure."_

_Sasuke had merely nodded, his face tight with many conflicting emotions._

_"You're still only a teenager. There's no rush to make the decision. When the time comes, we can discuss how families would be selecting to raise them, and how their training would progress, should you choose to do so."_

_"Thank you. For giving me the choice," Sasuke's voice was tight with controlled emotion. Many kage's would simply make the decision themselves, ensuring that a powerful bloodline was retained. Sasuke knew that Tsunade did not need to allow him the choice, given that he still had only questionable standing in the village. Perhaps if the past Hokage's had been more like her, this would never have come to pass. But it was a useless thought, and didn't change reality._

_Tsunade smiled slightly. "You're welcome, brat. I'll let you know when you'll need to decide by. Just make sure you're ready before you make your decision. Once it's done, there's no going back."_

* * *

According to Tsunade, they still had about two years for the DNA of the preserved samples to still be viable. But Sasuke would have to make the call soon.

A small smile flashed across Naruto's face as he imagined Sasuke trying to teach fifty little brats how to throw a kunai. The Uchiha had always trained their own, with the academy only being 'additional' training. He knew that if Sasuke really went ahead with this, he would not shirk his duties.

Naruto leaned back on the stone, thinking about Sasuke actually _building_ something, rather than tearing something down. He wouldn't push Sasuke to decide either way, but he hoped the man would choose to bring the clan back. There had been a slow but steady growing acceptance of Sasuke's presence in the village. And while they didn't flaunt their relationship, they lived together openly in Sasuke's home and people didn't treat them differently because of it.

TenTen had already said she would be more than happy to carry an Uchiha child, or even several if Sasuke decided to go ahead. She had never married, and Naruto suspected she still mourned Neji. Naruto grinned slightly. Any child of hers would definitely have a leg up on weapons practice. He was pretty sure Sakura would be willing to, as well. Lee would approve since the man never seemed to run out of energy in caring for their own child.

Of course, they would need many families to take them in, but slowly the stigma of the Uchiha name was fading. They would vet all the prospective families thoroughly to make sure that the children were accepted and treated well. Tsunade would work with the DNA samples to ensure maximum genetic variation in whatever children were born, to sustain the bloodline going forward.

It was a daunting prospect. But one that Naruto knew Sasuke would be able to handle if he decided to do so. And it would give him a new purpose. One that was finally positive.

His senses prickled, and relief washed over him.

_Sasuke was approaching the village._

Naruto stood, brushing off the dirt from his robes. Sasuke was just on the edge of his ability to sense chakra, still at least two miles out from the village.

"Later, old man," he said affectionately to the stones. He turned and headed quickly back towards the village, where another memorial stone stood. This one much larger and more formal.

Naruto let his chakra surge, knowing Sasuke would be able to feel it, and would change course to meet him there rather than going to the Hokage tower or back to their house.

In a few minutes, he felt a familiar presence behind him and turned, his eyes drinking in the form of his lover. Sasuke lifted the mask from his face, allowing Naruto to see him fully. He appeared unharmed, if exhausted.

"It's done," Sasuke said, his voice betraying none of the emotion that surely must be flooding through him to know that - finally - the last of the people who had been responsible for the destruction of his clan were brought to justice.

He looked at Naruto, a question in his eyes that the Hokage answered.

"I had them come today and add his name. There's no need for secrecy anymore," Naruto gestured toward the memorial stone, indicating a section off to the side.

Sasuke stood still for a moment, his throat working convulsively.

He drew a breath, then walked slowly over to where Naruto had indicated, looking down at the freshly engraved name he found there.

Sasuke lifted his hand, ignoring the way it trembled as he traced his fingers over the fresh lettering. The name was small, like all the others on the memorial stone. Placed off to the side, where other new names had been added.

But it was there. Recognition for the order that had been given. The life that had been destroyed. The clan that had been forsaken.

_Uchiha Itachi._

Sasuke closed his eyes, so many memories and emotions flooding through him. His brother's calm acceptance of his prodigy status when he was made Anbu at such a young age. Then captain. The smile Itachi would give him on those rare moments when they had time to sleep in and Sasuke would climb into his big brother's bed just to spend time with him.

The times he would watch Itachi training, his eyes wide in amazed admiration at the perfection of his brother. The drive he had felt to earn a place at his side, to try to be his equal if he could not surpass him. His childhood imaginings of Itachi becoming Hokage with Sasuke serving in Anbu under him. The dreams of his youth, so brutally shattered.

He knew that the things he had once wished for as a child would never come to pass.

But at least there was an acknowledgement made of the sacrifice of all those dreams. The destruction of all that potential. It didn't make it right. But it possibly made it… survivable.

Sasuke wasn't aware of the wetness on his cheeks until he felt a hand gently wipe it away.

He opened his eyes to meet Naruto's blue gaze. There was a shared sense of respect and grief in their depths. Sasuke felt his lungs slowly begin to work again, realizing that they had been frozen before. Naruto understood pain and loss. He understood what Itachi had done and what had happened to them. He understood.

And despite all the things that Sasuke had done to drive him away, all the risk of finding himself once again shunned by the village for doing so, and with nothing for Naruto to gain from it, Naruto had brought the truth about Itachi to light, and recognized it for the tragedy it was. He had kept his word, and changed the system of power in the Hidden Villages so that it could not happen again.

"Thank you." Sasuke's voice was low, constricted with emotion.

Naruto gave him a lopsided smile, his hand automatically going to rub the back of his head like it always did when he felt embarrassed. "I said I would."

Sasuke felt his own lips twitch in response, a warm feeling suddenly easing the constriction in his throat and chest. It was going to be ok.

The call of a crow drew both men's attention to a nearby tree. Their eyes widened as they slowly turned in a circle. The entire copse was filled with crows, watching them silently. The one that had made the sound called again, the sound sharp and clear in the silence of the clearing.

The bird looked directly at them, it's bright, intelligent eyes unblinking as it tilted its head to one side, observing them. Naruto decided he must be more tired than he had thought, but somehow he felt that this was the same bird that had observed him from Sasuke's window years ago.

Time seemed to slow as the gazes of the two men and the bird held. Then suddenly the forest was in motion as the great flock of crows lifted into flight, circling once overhead before flying off over the forest.

Sasuke watched them silently, a sense of peace settling over him. He turned towards Naruto.

"Let's go home."

The use of that word brought Naruto up short. Sasuke had never referred to the village as home in all the years since his return. Naruto searched his face, then slowly smiled.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

* * *

_THE END._

**Author's note:** Sorry there is no smut in this chapter, but I was writing the scene with the memorial stone and I really couldn't put it in. Itachi's character and his death(s) in canon were very hard for me due to real life tragedies that you really don't want to know about. I connect very much with his character and the story of his manipulation by the village and banishment and tragic death. So I just didn't want to cheapen this final epilogue with a bunch of sex. And I know, you are all like, 'bitch, please, you write fanfic. It is ALL cheap', and I don't dispute it but I just… couldn't put smut in here. Some smexy oneshots will be coming in a sidefic collection (probably cleverly named 'HtB sidefics' or something equally original). So I am not gypping you, I'm just separating it out. Humor me and my angsty self.

The science I described in this fic is completely real and already has been used, though the ethics of creating 'designer babies' is hotly contested. It still requires a woman willing to act as a surrogate to carry the child to term, but none of her DNA is actually in the baby.


End file.
